etsy fresh: you are invited to our Top Secret Halloween Club :)

Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you today about a very important invitation me and duk duk would like to make to you, to join our Top Secret Halloween Club.  Do you remember seeing some top secret things about our Halloween costumes every once in a while say on our Instagram or our Facebook or on Twitter or maybe even here?  Were you like, hey, when are we ever going to see the results ? Well, ever since our mom finished our Halloween costumes a few days ago, we have been really wanting to show you as much as you have wanted to see them. We even dressed up in our costumes and made Halloween cards that turned out super cool. But then we were like, hey,  Halloween isn't til Halloween and top secret is top secret, right?   But, if some of our friends like you really want to see our costumes early,  or say you need a really super cool Halloween card that will totally be like nothing you have ever seen before,  well, how can it happen and not spoil the surprise for everybuddy else?

Well my friends, that's how me and duk duk decided to form the Top Secret Halloween Club.  If you and your friend can keep a secret and want to send or get our super cool - but kind of SCARY!! - Halloween card now,  you can do so by clicking here, to get the card from my mom's kalyxcraftopia etsy shop.  Oh yeah, did I mention it was kind of scary?    

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter hoping you will join us in super cool halloweeny weenie top secrecy! :)

PS - this is not the actual card although the actual card is sort of on there but like, so pixelated and covered up that u know, it may as well not be the card. :) #topsecretSCARY

https://www.etsy.com/listing/207763820/baxter-duk-duks-top-secret-halloween?ref=shop_home_active_1

PPS (10/22/2014) Wow me and duk duk sold out! Please be patient my friends as we will be ordering more the next time mom places a print order so stay tuned! :)

today is stomping day, another nother short story by baxter and duk duk, in lieu of the ninety page essay on the pros and cons of a spiced based universe economy, that we were supposed to write for writing class

The monster feet had been in stinky situations before.  Children may smell like children, but their feet stink too, and especially in slipper shoes like him because they never seemed to want to wear socks and their feet get all sweaty and the only thing left to absorb all the sweat is, well, him.  He used to think their feet smelled awful, only now as he sat on the thrift store shelf, surrounded by scuffed patent mary janes and tired old sneakers that no longer lit up when you stomped with them, he missed smelling like what he now felt monster feet should always smell like.

Forever seemed to pass at the thrift store as he watched moms and dads take pair after pair of more practical shoes home for their stinky feet children, while he remained, alone and wondering if he would ever get to stomp again.  Tired being passed over time and time again, the monster feet decided to go into a deep deep sleep.

A curious and very sniffy wet nose startled him awake.  What the heck??? This is not the thrift store, he realized as the rest of his senses came into consciousness.  Why is there a tiny red cabin in front of me and what's that smell? It smells worse than children feet - more like, meat mixed with duk mixed with poop mixed with - hey, that tickles!

The brushing sensation of curious but very appreciative whiskers gave way to two stubby and chubby but extremely awesomely ferocious paws, each slipping in to him with a stink, awe, and reverence he had never felt before. Hmm, the monster feet thought. I am not in a house with stinky children feet and yet I no longer miss them.












One of his feet was lifted high into the air as the faint sound of snickers danced about his ears.  Wheeeee!! Today is a new day, he proclaimed as he started to fall and the wind started whooshing around him.  Today is stomping day! :)

the third sense, another short story by baxter and duk duk, as told from the perspective of the tiny red cabin in the woods, still in lieu of our thirty page essay on the pros and cons of a spice based universe economy, that were were supposed to write for writing class , only now it is sixty pages because of the story we turned in yesterday

The tiny red cabin in the woods was relieved that its inhabitants had decided to go in to town for the evening.  Restless people are not very relaxing, and nothing irked the cabin more than having people inside it who did not appreciate the solitude that it offered. Now that they were gone, the little cabin could relax and go back to its happy go lucky, cabiny ways.

 And yet, a strange sense of foreboding still haunted the cabin.  It had survived many rough winters in the woods, put up with noisy little children and snoring adults and even survived a freak rainshower of poopie snakes mixed with monkey chow.  But something about this foreboding feeling was different. A warm wind blew in from behind, bringing with it a piquant stink of curious and exceptionally malodorous quality and consistency, accompanied by a low, almost imperceptible gurgling noise. 


Hmmmmmmmm, the tiny red cabin in the woods thought, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

O bother, the little cabin decided. I see no need to worry about things I can only smell and hear and cannot see.  I have stood here for many years now. And I will stand for many more. :)

the tiny red cabin in the woods, a short story by baxter and duk duk, in lieu of a thirty page essay on the pros and cons of a spice based universe economy, that we were supposed to write for writing class

The ferocious monster paused to watch from a distance as smoke billowed from the chimney that sat atop the tiny red cabin in the woods. There would be plenty of time to stomp the cabin to the ground, the monster thought to himself as he settled down onto the cool soft mossy ground.  He stretched out in the open and let out a big yawn, no longer worried about being seen by the cabin's inhabitants as he had only minutes ago watched them drive off to town, probably in search of more video games to play or movies to watch because really what else interesting can you do in a tiny red cabin in the woods while you are waiting for your dinner to cook over a fire you made with sticks you collected because there was nothing else to do, especially since there were no video games to play or movies to watch .

Normally the ferocious monster would have stomped on the cabin by now, but he knew that if he waited long enough, dinner would be ready, and rabbit stew tasted delicious regardless of how stomped it had gotten. He sniffed at the smoke as it wafted in his direction.  Eleventy, no, three o'ninesies more minutes to go.

Monsters usually stomp alone. It's more fun that way to have the whole cabin or town yourself to stomp because then you can look back and see all that you did yourself, he thought.  But as his tummy started to growl, the ferocious monster realized that this stomping would have been a lot more fun if his he had invited his friend, Dukalodon, to join him.  Not to eat him, but so he could play with him.  And then maybe eat him. Or at least try to. After he stomped the cabin and ate the rabbit stew.  :)

(hee hee, i hope u enjoyed our story and yep mom got me a super cool new monster hat from Michaels, modified by mom for ear holes :) )

hiney hole

well, okay mom, since we are still developing the pattern and this is only practice fabric, u can take a couple of pictures so we can study them for fit and make adjustments but remember, mum's the word because my Halloween costume is top secret and even though he thinks he knows what it is, not even duk duk knows what it really is. capoops? 

so, okay, I was thinking now that the front half looks pretty good, maybe we can focus on my back end because I think the hiney hole could be just a little bit bigger, dontchoo? but not so big that it would collect leaves and junk when we go trick or treating because that would be really scratchy. oh and not too small just in case I need to make a know whattie snake. :)

manny joes

mom, i really like them, and, they are very comfortable, and, I am really looking forward to painting flaming bunnies on them before school starts, but...well, I have never really heard of manny joes before.  are u sure these are not girl shoes?? 

pointy

o, nothing to see here really, mom. I was just wondering what it would be like to have pointy ears that stood up all the time :) 

creature of habit

mom, what do u mean i cannot go with u and dad to little miss julia's first communion today?? i got dressed and everything!!

canning 101

..four, five! good job everybuddy, we finally collected enough cans!

 













now all we need 2 do is figure out how to get a good seal before mom misses her funnel, and then we can start stocking up our foofie for monday's stinko de mayo party!! :)

yo soy el perro en el sombrero :)

um, well..because u said i could dress myself this year. and..because sombreros are super cool and...eastery? :) :)

hee hee, happy easter mis amigos!! :)

world war b: happy vadertine's day

hee hee, just a few more stink lines, and voila, that's the last one!

it is too bad school is cancelled for today on account of all the snow, isn't it duk duk? i mean, not only do we have our valentines all ready, but we came up with not one, but two very viable plans that i am certain would have guaranteed us protection from cooties.















i only hope darth got my message in time that school was closed today.  i heard salty slush really does a number on black capes and boots.

(hee hee, happy vadertine's day my friends! :)  luv, b & dd.)

world war b: genius knocks at the back door

Unable to use their jury-rigged cootiesphere from last year because their mom filled it with fabric, Baxter and his toyfriend, duk duk,  use their snow day off from school to continue brainstorming new and viable solutions to the anticipated and very much dreaded outbreak of Valentine's Day cooties, transmittable only by stinky girls who refuse to stand over there....

hee hee hee, by poops, i think we've got it, duk duk!  if we just wear our pants on our heads and keep walking backwards like this at school all day, i think this plan will totally work!























and the best part? if anybuddy violates our stand over there policy and tries to kiss us in the "face" and give us cooties, ka-pow, instant stinkification! :) :)

chillin of soon

mom, I really think we need to turn up the heat today. like, maybe for instance, now. 

case of the empty verse

We now join baxter and duk duk's spoiler free review of tonight's season 3 episode premiere of Sherlock on PBS, already in progress.. :)

feels like minus two

hee hee hee, form fitting under armor...

check!

warm pink wooly sockies - check!...

...full body chilly suit with all important..

 

 

...poopie hole poopie hole - check!

 

super warm cashmere scarf that is all linty because i did not put it away like mom asked me to - check!

...and last but not least - my winter boots!

 

mmmm they still stink good from last time... just lemme put these on and then we'll be ready to - hey, how come i can't...sheesh..this might take a while...

um, dad, i think i am going to need a few more minutes before i am ready for u take me outside to go poopies so if u would like, while u are waiting maybe u can help yourself to some hot monkey chow cider and if it is not too much trouble,  can u please make me one too? and do not worry i will be as fast as i can because i really need to poopie  :) :)

today i am seven :)

 


















...i smell like a monkey, and i throw my own poooo! hee hee thanks everybuddy that was a great birthday song. i am having so much fun, i do not think my birthday party could get any bet-


ooOOOOOooOOOooooOOooooo!! did mom just bring what i think she brought?

hey hey, quit shovin let a birthday boy thru...

(sniff sniff) mmmm, i smell double decker fishy cake with shredded carrot filling and meat jello topping!  and garnished super sweet strawberries!  and super cool twisty rawhide candles!!

let's hurry up and let mom take our birthday picture and then we can get this party started! super serious now cuz i am seven years old.  everybuddy ready? 

cheeeze!

hee hee,  okay everybuddy let's dig in!! :) :)

party preppers :)

oooh a little to the left lil pink puppy. now a little to the right. up a tiny tiny bit...yup, that's perfect! 

okay my friends, only two more ornaments to go and then me and duk duk will start clearing the room and setting up the dj station while you guys finish up the poop d'oeuvres and once that's all done we can start our super erasure christmas disco dance party! :):)

waste not whomp not

hee hee okay everybuddy stand back, stand back...

 
 

Pow-derrred Sugarrrrrrr! (whomp)

hee hee hee hee hee. oh yeah dat's what i'm talkin bout!  

soon all our yucky leftover candy will be smashed and we will have enough powdered sugar to sneak into school and sprinkle on our lunchy lunches for the next hundred years!!   :) :)

antici..

gee duk duk, now that we are home from school,  it sure stinks that we have to wait until it is dark before we can go trick or treating.

 

 i mean, who even made up that rule? if u n me were in charge of trick or treating, u can bet it would start first thing in the morning and last all day. maybe two days even, and we would get so many gummy worms that  swedish fish would jump right into our treat wagon without even trying.

 

what's that duk duk? yeah, it is too bad chocobot n lulu the tiger n lil pink puppy all drew the short straws and have to stay home and help mom n dad pass out candy. but at least me and u can go out and we can collect enough candy for all of us!  

 

(sigh)  lemme get up and see what time it is now. what? three o seventy clock?  sheesh that's like a whole nother four nine and gazillion seconds to go...

mooooom -  r u sure we cannot go trick or treating yet??

(hee hee, Happy Halloween my friends - may be poop be with u!! ) :)

happy unicorn appreciation day

okay everybuddy, on the count of three open your eyes!

one...

two...

three! 

yippeeee! look what we gotchoo, chocobot - a whole jar of glitter!

hee hee, what's that lulu the tiger?  oh yeah,  we do this every year.  it's tradition!!

now, let's pull out the table, roll up the rug, and pour some glitter so we can get this party started!! 

hee hee, happy unicorn appreciation day, my friend :) :)