merry Christmas Eve :)

doop bee doop bee doo...doop bee doop bee doo...doop bee doop bee pooo.... doop pee poopie - mooooom, how much longer do I have to be a good boy? 

the hall of spherical wonders and other three dimensional inverse conchoidal delights

hee hee yeah I know, duk duk.  we sure are lucky the little misses agreed to help us move everything otherwise it would be mushie city all over again and all our work would be ru- wait, what did u say? it's kind of hard to hear with this thing on my - oh yes, I will tell her now.  little miss Sarah! little miss Julia! me and duk duk will join u in a jiffy just as soon as I find the rest of my rain gear, but I see the rain has really picked up so if u want, just start on the hall of spherical wonders and other three dimensional inverse conchoidal delights over in the east wing because that is the lowest part of our yard and most susceptible to flooding.  :)

today i am nine :)

...seven, eight, nine!! hee hee, nine carrots. well my friends, u know what that means, today i am nine!! :) :)

tomorrow I will be nine :)

mom, for my birthday cake this year, do u think it could be a double decker, with peanut butter filling and salmon skin swirly candles and raspberries and carrots and maybe just a sprinkle of cheezy poof dust? :) 

happy wolfsgiving:)

mom, I know we said we would not make turkey today out of respect to duk duk, but do u think we could open my can of turducken and I could eat it outside, u know, wolf style? :) 

happy hello ween :)

well, i know sewing pleather and sewing tiny are really difficult, mom, but i am really disappointed. because yesterday u said that they were all done, which i took 2 mean obviously that they were ALL done, including chocobot's and lulu the tiger's and lil pink puppy's costumes, because basically they are just the same as mine, only different shaped and sized. i even had your status down as green in our project master file report as little as three hours ago.but  now here are at t minus twenty4 hours about to start our dry run with the little misses, and Project OompaWonkaWinked is totally in deep poopies. which, on any other day would be just fine because, well, u know, poopies.  but we are talking candy here, mom, candy, and the one opportunity a year to get lots of it for free. 

okay, so, our scientifically optimized trick or treat schedule requires us to be at house number one by five pm, so with travel and snackie time, plus a little foofie factor thrown in for good measure, the new and final costume dropsqueak deadline is three pm.

well, we've got a dry run and u have work to do, so i won't keep u any longer, mom. and i would like to thank u for your time and contribution to Project OoompaWonkaWinked thus far.  bye mom, we'll see u after the dry run.

 




hee hee, finally, a use for all that mumbo jumbo speak i always hear dad using on his work calls.  u don't think i was too hard on her, do u, duk duk?  yeah, u r right, there is no room for babies in project OWW.

okay, so, when we go to the little misses house, remember, duk duk, since u won the guess whose foofie game, u are U Know Who.  and that means u have to do all the talking - candy recall, effective immediately, but this time instead of blueberries, it turns people into falcons, or wolves, or tigers, yadda yadda yadda.  u can improvise a little to keep it from sounding too scripted, but stay in character and remember to work with what we have. main message is, candy defective, sincere apologies, we are here to take it back 4 u and my very cute and diminutive u know whats will gladly help u.  what u say will be very important because i think on my own people will look at me and be like, who's the witch wearing the shiny hurricanes onesie? (siri, research note to self: does tim burton like hockey?)

now, the plan is for the rest of us to be quiet and just collect the candy, but if prompted, we have 2 be ready to sing and dance.  lulu the tiger and chocobot, have u both been eating chocobot's special glitter this week and practicing the helium foofie?  good. 

 well, alrighty then, i think we're ready to start this dry run.  all together on three.  one. two. three...

good morning starshine, the earth says hello! :)

 

 

sweater weather

It's that time of year when our weather teeters between ok and kind of chilly for tiny chumley. Seventy degrees is about his minimum, and anything less than that on any given morning means I can count on him making a beeline to his heat cave when we go downstairs, hopeful that he might enjoy his morning snackie inside the little flowery festooned palace that I made him last winter, while his heater friend George keeps guard against the chilly morning air.

I must admit, as the gray on his face and paws appear at an ever increasing pace, I am torn between letting him laze peacefully as he would love to do all day in his little tropical wonder dome, and luring him out to play and do all the things he still can do before time renders him a sleepy, weakened little old man.  Luckily, there is a compromise that suits us both.  A quick whistle, the promise of snackies, and a makeshift playtime sweater cut from the sleeve of a thrift store sweater,  are all the things we need to merge our worlds back together.  It's that time of year, my little friend. It's sweater weather. :)

just another makey Monday :)

hee hee okay mom u can take pictures but keep them fuzzy because our Halloween costumes are top secret and even though this is just a fit model based on the pattern u drew up from scratch, u just never know who might put 2 and 2 together and that would b a total disaster. and 2 answer your question, I agree it is a little bunchy and baggy back there even 4 me. I cannot imagine what it would feel like now if zorro never visited me when I was a puppy and he never took away my u know whats. I do not even like it when I poop a Loki.

oh yes, totally take it in. that feels much better. what's that? o, well , u know how when u accidentally eat a toyfriend thread, and u do not know u ate a toyfriend thread til, u know, it comes out, but it always comes out last and it keeps all the u know what that came out first just hanging around? and no matter how hard u try to get rid of the u know what that's hanging from your butt it just keeps hanging around? well a pooping a Loki is that. because no matter how hard u try to get rid of the real Loki , he just keeps hanging around. it happened in Thor one and it happened in Thor two and it even happened in avengers 1, remember?

and pretty much the only person who can really get rid of Loki is Thor, which is why sometimes from the backyard when dad takes me out for u know what, u might hear me asking dad to Thor me, which now u know would be for obvious reasons. 

yep, I'm pretty happy with the range of motion and the leg length is pretty good too. but I feel like the tail hole should be moved up and if we are going to do that then maybe we can also make the legscye a little bigger just to, u know, optimize things?  if u draw it with a sharpie I can tell u if it is right or not.

yeppies like that. oh snap it is almost time for me and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy to pedal to school! I sure hope duk duk remembered to pack the trebuchet today. lemme get off the table and round everybuddy up..

o and mom, do not forget to take the fuzzy filter off the iPhoney and text me during study hall if u have any measurement questions :)

no peeking

sorry, dad, no peeking not even during preliminary fittings. :) #topsecrethalloween
 

midday in the garden of gruesome and gore

..yeah i know those stinky bassets totally deserved it. and besides, losing my digging privileges for two days and having to read this book isn't too bad really because well, a) it's raining out anyway, and b) do not tell mom, but this book has not been too bad so far, dontchoo think, duk duk?  i mean, sure there are words in it, but everybuddy knows u can just skip that stuff so long as there are pictures to look at.
 

and yeah, i submit that the pictures certainly could be way more gruesome. and i question whether this book is really a work of nonfiction like it thinks it is, because look at how close all the boys and girls are standing to each other.  nobuddy does that in real life. that's how u catch cooties.

but, hmmm, well, now that i've said that out loud, i take back what i said about these pictures not being very gruesome. because, well, since the girls are totally not standing over there, u just know that any moment the boys will turn into cootie infected zombies. and then things will really take a turn, what with the whole zombiefication process turning their eyes red, their feet into mighty meat tearing talons, and their beaks into razor sharp precision pecking instruments of gore. nobuddy would stand a chance and then the world would be ruled by zombies and nobuddy would care anymore where u pooped or how many gummy worms u ate or even bother with school or chores...

...boy i cannot wait 2 turn the page now, duk duk, can u? just stay close 2 me because i am pretty sure things are about 2 get super scary. :)

the princess and the unicorn

hee hee, before you take the picture, please make sure my buns are even, mom.  princess leia's buns are always even. :)

I'm not sure what I find so endearing about this behind the scenes picture from our little unicorn appreciation day shoot, but whatever the reason, it seems like a perfect photo to close the week. Go out and make your fun this weekend, even if it means getting help from your mom to put on your Leia buns :) 
 

summer vacation: dia uno

hee hee hee, u got that right, duk duk.  all we need 2 do is find a trampoline and -- oh, hi mom. what's that? o, just getting ready to, um, well u know, mom...do nothing in particular really. :)

little coneflower

well, duk duk, I am sure glad that got cleared up. I guess I was really hungry when the tushie man said it, because I sure thought he said ice cream cone and of course how could u say no to that no matter if u r getting an eye thingy removed or not?...  hey, can u scratch my nose for me?

wow, I see this might be a problem for both of us. good thing this is only our test run so that way we can work out the kinks. how bout maybe we take off the yellow part?

yep U just have 2 look for the snaps cuz remember that time when mom first made it for me and we wore it for easter? that was the year u got us banned from..okay okay, i will get off our bed but I call dibs on my same spot so no stealing it when we are all done or I will pound u...hee hee, yeah I guess u r right I guess I should save the pounding for after my stitches dissolve. okay, is that the last one? 

hmm, full range of head motion but I cannot reach my eyes with my paws. a fit that is not too loose or too snug. yes this is much better than that blue thingy we got when I got frankentushied. now if I can only resist rubbing my head on the floor we will be set!

although if I do, maybe mom would make me a new one with propeller shaped blades instead of marigold petals. :) 

eggcellent

hee hee, there is no way the easter bunny will recognize me this year. he will hardly know what's coming because when we go to the mall and it is finally our turn 2 take pictures with him,  i will be like. "hi howya doin mister easter bunny, do u like my new easter bonnet, nice bowtie there. and then, GROWF!" #bunnystew :)

always b prepared, especially for a monday :)

dear diary,
although there are many things I learned while I was in the pupscouts, one of the things that i try 2 practice every day is to always be prepared, especially for a monday. i hope u r prepared, too.

toodleydoo!
b :)

christmas morning :)

"He was here, he was here!" the little dachshund chirped to his toyfriends as he peered up at the packages that Santa knew to leave way up high and out of naughty's reach.

To be extra sure that these packages were for him and not for his mom and dad, the excited puppy got on his tippy tip toes and sniffed at them, growing more and more excited with every molecule of delicious scent he inhaled.  "I smell reindeer poop, and cookies, and salmon, and liver and sugar and stawberries and glitter and..oooh yes these packages are definitely for us! Come on everybuddy, let's get our of our jammies and ask if the little misses can come over to help us open them!"






There would be no time for the happy little dachshund and his toyfriends to pose for pictures once the little misses arrived.  No time for anybuddy to look up at the camera, or wait for it to come into focus.  Oh well, the little dachshund's mom thought.  Our Christmas morning pictures might be forever a blur, but the memories of this day for all of us will be crystal clear. :)

It seems practically all the pictures I took of tiny chumley from Christmas morning are an excited fuzzy blur. And that,  I suppose, is just the way things should be.  :)

the owling :)

hee hee, finally mom and henry gumption are done with the owl mask they are making for auntie robin! i am sure she will not mind if i borrow it for a little while.  christmas is like, forever from now.

now, if only i can figure out how to get this orange stool out of my...

(oof! shuffle shuffle)
































...way!  hee hee, wait'll duk duk comes home and gets a load of me.   

wooty hoo, wooty hoo! 

 yep, he's gonna be so scared, i bet he upchucks all his gummy worms and his monkey chow chili.  

yep, yessiree, and no complications with santa at all because this is payback for what he did to me last week. well, payback times ten because duk duk is to owls like i am to stinky big dogs.  scare-reee!

yep, yessiree, any minute now, when duk duk comes home from his fowl and feathers club..no wait, that was yesterday. when duk duk comes home from his little swimmers..no, wait..duk duk..o snap, he  went to the lake today to visit his grandma, didn't he? sheesh, he will be there all day!...







hee hee, only seven more hours til duk duk comes home and he gets the bejeebies scared out of him! wooty hoo! wooty hoo!! :) :)

today i am eight :)

"....and the Antler King celebrated his eighth birthday surrounded by friends, feasting on delicious cake and sweet juicy berries til their tummies were round and full and tight as a drum..." :)

some behind the scenes stuff and a doot doot dooty doot for know, a supercool print poster and my 2015 desk calendar

When a happy go lucky dachshund stands at the cusp of turning eight years old,  I like to think that his tastes begin to evolve. Boy adventurer detectives and blue boxed time travelers, though still very much close to his heart,  now give way to more complex characters who more often than not, ask questions and delve into topics that an eight year old imaginative dachshund has yet to fully comprehend. And so it seemed only natural that Baxter and his toyfriend duk duk, who by now would have exhausted all the G, PG, and PG13 offerings on Netflix,  would have refined their tastes and discover indie geek classics like the movie Donnie Darko.  And, even though some of the darker aspects of the movie would go over their heads, a movie as engaging and unsettling as Donnie Darko would still be something tiny chumley and duk duk would pick to serve as the awesome inspiration for this year's halloween trick-or-treatery.







I'd like to say it was purely Baxter and duk duk's inner geekiness that motivated their Halloween attire, but truth be told, the makey challenges also piqued my interests greatly.  I mean, it's not like there are many swell instructions out there for this for humans, much less for dachshunds, or for one winged duks.  The challenge would not only be in replicating the Frank the Bunny and Donnie Darko look, but also in adapting it for the actual head and body shapes and imaginative perspectives of an odd but perfectly matched pair of friends.

Today, finally, after months of off and on makey, a peek into the work that went into their costumes, and a link to Baxter's new super cool poster featuring it, that asks what we should all probably ask ourselves at one time or another, why are you wearing that silly human suit?

Happy Monday, friends! :)

PS if you missed the doot doot dooty doot yesterday, here is a link for our super cool and always budgety 2015 desk calendar too! https://www.etsy.com/listing/209493886/dachshund-desk-calendar-2015-tiny?

 

  

happy hallo-scary-ween :)

hee hee, thanks, chocobot, for taking care of yours and lulu the tiger's and lil pink puppy's halloween costumes. me and duk duk were so busy making ours, we did not have any time at all to work on stuff for the three of you. the toyfriend club scar on your cheek is a nice touch, by the way. 























and, it was pure genius to put lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy in one costume.  now we have room for even more candy in our wagon!

okay, duk duk since u are already dressed, u wait here with chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy while i get into my #topsecretSCARY costume, okay?

(zip snap shuffle shuffle zip snap swoosh zip)

you know, duk duk, i really like how everything turned out, but i sure wish mom would have let us make the teeth sharper and more scary spaced. i mean, how scary could that be, right? we have been scaring our friends all week with the pictures we posted on instagram and facebook and twitter.

(snap snap shimmy snap zip snap)

but, at least if nobuddy recognizes who we really are, then they can at least they think they know who we are, even though they would be really wrong.  

(bump clatter clatter)

whoops. uh oh, was that my mask?













..boy it better be okay. without my mask, i'm just a long dog in a nicely fitted, super plushie hoodied onesie with white fur on my...

 

...chest.

 whoa - did u guys just hear that?? i think i heard cassie.

no, false alarm. it was just the wind blowing a bunch of leaves.

okay, let me just get my mask on, and we finally can start trick or treating!! 

oh not again. yes mom?

 

pictures? again?? but mom, me and duk duk already posed for our halloween card, and our super cool wall poster, and even for next year's calendar. and we promised that we would try to put them in the shop for you by this Monday and send out a doot doot dooty doot and everything.  well for the poster and the calendars anyway because we sold out of the cards for now. so our friends can see us in our full glory there,  and besides they will see us live any minute now when we knock on their door for tricks and treats. 

so, like, do we have to?





















okay, make a hole everybuddy. we need to make this quick so everybuddy keep their eyes open, mouths closed, and save the funny faces for after we bring back our candy haul.

phew, the inside of this mask smells like desperation and rancid gummy worms! duk duk - did you do this?? 

hee hee, why thank you my friend. it most certainly will help me get into character.  which i am guessing hardly anybuddy will guess even with u standing next to me and u are like the main character. oh, okay mom's ready, so on the count of three everybuddy..one..two..three...

trick or treeeeat! :)

(hee hee, ps if  did not get one because we sold out, here is a peek at our halloween card.  and do not worry if u missed out, it will be back in the shop again :) )