It's time to play Which one of these things are not like the other?

Hey everybuddy, it's me, Baxter, and it's time to play "Which one of these things are not like the others?"  Are you ready?

doo dee doo doo, doo doo doo, doo dee doo doo doot dee dee dooty doo doo!









Ding ding! Time's up! And ladies and gentlemen, if you guessed my friend Hayley on the very left is not like the rest of us, you win today's poopie snake prize - cuz she is a stinky go-stand-over-there girl and my friend Harley standing here next to me? Well, he and I are boys - stinky ones,  but in the good stink sort of way like I know u already know what I mean.  Although Hayley isn't too stinky for a girl which is a good thing considering Hayley is Harley's sister. :)

Well, that's it for today because it is time to go outside and play with my new friends. I hope u have a wonderful day because I know I will! :)

  

dapper doxie duds: ready, set, vrooom!

Why hello, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, earning my kibble today in super easy fashion because I'm here to talk to you about the duds my mom made for Rocky and Penny, who happen to be a lot smaller than me and so I can only barely model Penny's dud and that was with a lot of hwoopin to suck in my tummy if you know what I mean and so mom said I could just write my report and still earn my snackies.

So enough about me, about bout those duds? You see, Rocky and Penny are planning to go to the dachshund races and of course they needed super cool sporty duds with a winning edge, right?  You know, the kind with a swooshy champion nascar checkerboard flag print, edged in safety reflective piping and maybe a menacing skull patch with some flames, just to you know, intimidate the competition? Yup, that would be Rocky's dud I'm talking about and here it is!

Now say you're a girl and you still want to be just as intimidating but you still want to be cute when u make it into the winner's circle?  Well, if you are Penny, maybe you would wear a similarly swooshy styled dud as Rocky's, but, with say kawaii cute skeleton kitty patch with a heart on it on the outside and a pretty rose print inside.  Cuz that would be so cool and yet so scary, right? :)

Anyhoo, I hope u liked seeing the duds my mom made for Rocky and Penny and I am trying hard not to be so envious that Rocky n Penny get to go to the dachshund races this year.  Although mom reminded me that I did not exactly know what to do when I had a chance to practice for a different race a few years ago.  Hee hee, if I ever get to go, I guess I really need to practice knowing which way to run. 

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter, wishing Rocky and Penny good luck, hello to Bogey and Remy (whose mom runs the race!) and everybuddy else a super duper Saturday!! :)

baxter and duk duk's motel park n bark complimentary dinner theater: captain arrr-eo and princess poopiet

okay mario, we will be right back! me n our other guest lulu, whom u have already met from last time you stayed at the motel park n bark, just have to put on our costumes and the worldwide premiere of me n duk duk's new play, "the pirate, the princess, the dragon, and plenty of snackies - a play in three courses as told by one very awesome and very hungry pirate", will begin in five minutes! in the meanwhile, please enjoy this bugs bunny cartoon that we will play for u on the ipad and if duk duk can get u a pre-play apooperitif or some fancy cheezy poof n salmon kibble poop d'ouvres, just let him know, okay?? okay, we will be right back. 

oh, and hee hee, do not poop anywhere i would not poop! which u know, really means u can poop practically anywhere here at the motel park n bark, especially when it is wet outside.  although, i see you would be pooping in your own bowl  of water so maybe that is not the best idea if u want to see our play clearly.  so maybe if i were u i would hold it.  or skip the cheezy poof n salmon kibble poop d-ouvres, cuz, they're tasty going in thru the front but mighty wicked on the back end if u know what i mean.   

okay,  c u in a few minutes!!

say what? but lulu,  what do u mean u do not want to be the princess in our premier pirate princess dragon and plenty of snackies play for mario?  i am supposed to be the pirate because i am a boy and i have way more experience.  well, okay, i would have more experience f it wasn't so hot this summer and mom would not let me n duk duk go pirate the seven seas.  and besides, we just told our very important guest that our play will be on in five minutes and this is the world wide premiere and everyone knows princesses are always girls and ... oh pleeeeeze play the princess, wontchoo? just look at all the wonderful things chocobot and lil pink puppy made for the princess to wear!

sigh. okay, u r the guest and the show must go on. let's get dressed and go see mario...

"but soft, what stink thru yonder window wafts? it is my poop, and this hungry pirate has come to take me and my dragon away..."  :)

baxter & duk duk's motel park n bark complimentary walkies tour

...and that's how the poopie pothole got its name.  now ladies and gent- um, lady - if you will follow me, next on the motel park n bark tour is a pass by my friends morton and iris's house, followed by a quick scan of the yards in i-can-always-find-bunnies at houses number 3 and 4, and then,  romp thru rabbit ravine where if we are really lucky, we can find a u know what to u know what, only please remember to only go as far as the forest edge so as to not get into any poison ivy, okay? and we're walking we're walking... :)

lesson for a busy dachshund

dear diary,
even though i enjoy being an only dog, mom says it is good for me to hang around with other pups because i might learn a thing or two and boy was she right.  cuz, well, you see, the night before lulu's visit,  mom asked me n duk duk to tidy up the motel park n bark and put away our toys and stuff.  but since me n duk duk were busy cuz we wanted to finish playing on the wii and ended staying up til two in the morning, well, it kind of never happened.  and for the most part that was okay because well, u know, toyfriends can always be restuffed, butchoo see, i kinda sorta forgot to put something very important away.  and u can tell by my tail that this is the very moment when i realized my mistake.








yup, i forgot to put my antler away.  and u know, it was funny because i never really realized how much i really liked my antler until lulu found it on the floor and started eating it right in front of me.  and let me tell you diary, never did my antler ever look so tasty as it did when she was eating it.

 

and, as if i did not learn enough already yesterday just by watching lulu play with my antler, i learned thatchoo should never get too close to another somebody when they are eating an antler.  even if it is your antler and you forgot to put it away. 

sigh..sometimes i wish my lessons were not so hard to learn but mom says that is how u build character. i say, characters are for cartoons.

toodley-doo,
b. :)

ps - do not feel too badly for me or lulu bcuz after mom helped me hide my antler, we found mister turtle in the backyard and everybuddy forgot about that antler. well until now...mmmm antler...  :) :)

video B: mine, yours, & ours

You know, if little happy dachshunds had thought bubbles during their playtime, sometimes I think their conversations would go a bit like this... :)

dapper doxie duds: oscar's cute cute happy monsters :)

Hello! It's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter! Well, it's me reporting, not me in the picture,  because the super cool pup you see over there to your left is actually my friend Oscar, who was rescued more than a year ago after being abandoned with his brothers in a box, all starved and unhealthy. But lucky for him (and I think the others), they all got new homes just like I did! And because Oscar's old harness chafed him so, his mom came to my mom to request his very first custom dud. Yippee, right?









Now,Oscar's mom said that if Oscar would be a person, he'd be a toddler, because he always acts like a little kid and can be very skittish and runs from strangers when they come in the house but once he warms up to you, he turns into a giant cuddle bug. And when he gets excited, he grabs a toy and runs circles around the house, and he also spins around in little circles! So yeah you know Oscar needed the right fabric to match his personality, right? Which is why Oscar's new dud is all super fresh super cute monsters in the happy fun colors of mint and teal and gray and orange and yellow!  I think he will look very dapper in it dontchoo? And I really like his enameled squirrel charm, too.

So anyhoo, that is my report for today and Oscar, if you do not mind I will be sending your dud shortly because me n DJs Skillit Hedd n Maus in DaHaus n OttoPiLot are in the middle of writing our next song but I promise I take the time to take it off and mail it out just as soon as we are through in just a little bit, ok? :) :)

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you a most wonderful Wednesday! :)

dapper doxie dud: secret robo dog!

 

so mom my idea was we would do something like this.  wait- let me clear -  a-a-a-hem - okay.

(en voce meccanica artificiale)
 

meep meep boop beep beep! 

this is robo-baxter from the planet poopiter. 

please take me to your snackie jar now or i will use my super duper foofie rays to..

 












what? no mom i would not actually foofie up jasper's super swell new everyday playdud made from space blue 420 denier pack cloth with robot charm and secret super cute robot fabric inside bcuz u would make stunt dud and that way when it comes to the next scene where robo-baxter and mechatron fight over who has ultimate control of the snackie jar that determines the fate of all the snackie jars of planet earth, we will not have to worry about, u know, getting jasper's new dud all messed up from the molten lava and nuclear fallout snow that we will have made from the gallons of  honey and ketchup and mashed potatoes and stuff that we would need to buy. and then...oh what?  he wants his dud before the summer is over?  sigh. well, okay, we can model it your way...this time.

hee hee hee, i hope u likey likey your new robo-dud, my friend jasper!! and please say hello to your visitor harley for me :) :)

i bark, u bark, we all bark for gelato!

dear diary,
hooray! both our guests here at the motel park n bark decided to stay for an extra night so to celebrate, yesterday mom n dad too me n lulu to get k9 krunchy peanut butter gelato while mario hung out at home with duk duk and chocobot and lil pink puppy to play twenty thousand foofies under the sea.  and i have to say, even though i had to share my snoozer with a girl, i think i totally got the better end of the deal bcuz not only did i get peanut butter gelato, but i actually got to eat the whole thing! and me and lulu each got our own cups so there was no chance for, u know, that lady n the tramp spaghetti kissing stuff to happen (although our cups did touch once or twice but if u tell duk duk that i will so pound u, diary, so please, let's just keep that between u and me, okay?)

anyhoo, today i am not sure what we will be doing to entertain our guests but hopefully it will involve snackies and foofies and yes, at least a poopie snake or five or twelve or infinity so!

toodley-doo!
b. :)

baxter n duk duk's motel park n bark: friday night's alright for foofieing

dear diary,
yippeee! well wouldn'tchoo know it, me n duk duk's  friday night dj disco party for our motel park n bark guests mario and lulu was a success - even though me n and duk duk never did settle on who was dj scratch munkey and who was dj skillit head (yeah, aren't our dj names even more rapsta doogan when u spell them that way? i just thought of that :) ). 

so mom finally shut down our party on account of all the foofie wafting upstairs which actually was good bcuz we were all really tired and so everybuddy slept on the sofa (except mario who slept on his own sofa in his bowl) til it was time to go upstairs at which point i showed lulu to her to the park n bark luxury guest chair bcuz she says with all her long hair she likes to sleep by herself without any covers or anything and then we all said goodnight. luckily, with no kissing involved. well, on me at least.  from lulu. but mom kissed everybuddy goodnight which i guess was okay.

anyhoo, i am sorry to say i think lulu and mario's stays will be ending sometime today but hopefully before they leave and if it is not too hot out, we can all go for peanut butter gelato, so although i am sad to see our guests leave,  i am very excited about that. :)

toodley-doo!
b. :)

dapper doxie duds: fun with pearls and snackies

but mom, it's for penny from stuff on my wiener.  i want to wear it like this so everone will...okay, i will put it on right..

(hwuuuuuuuuup!)

 

Why hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter reporting to you today about the pretty dud my mom made for Penny, who you guess by now might be the same Penny from Stuff on My Wiener, because, well, she is!  I'm modeling her super new summer dud.  Let me take a turn around here so we look at it, shall we?








So here we have a pretty pink gingham cotton fabric bound in turquoisey aqua and white polka dot binding and not only is there really cool ribbon and rick rack on it, but there is also a vintage turquoise colored button flower on the snackie pocket! And to make the dud even more special, there is a sterling silver and pretty pink freshwater pearl dangle drop! Do not tell duk duk but  I really like this dud,  because it is so fun and sweet and it reminds me of something u might see in that book we finished in school this past year - you know, Fun with Dick and Jane?  Only you know, fresh and modern. Just like Penny.

So anyhoo, that is my report for today because mom says we might be having another guest tonight. And here at the Baxter and Duk Duk Park N Bark Motel, it is my job to make sure all our guest spots are clean and tidy and foofie free.  Which means I have a lot of work to do considering what me n mario were doing during monkey chow munchies megamusic happy hour yesterday.

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter, wishing you a totally terrific Thursday!! :)

my friend mario: bubble trouble

hey everybuddy, whatchoo lookin at? is mario doing that cool thing again where he stares atchoo and puffs his cheeks up? i really hope he can come visit again when the circus bears come to town again cuz that would be such a cool thing to add to our sideshow.

uh-oh!

so many bubbles! and they were not here just a couple of days ago.

 lil pink puppy, u did not put any bubble bath in mario something something something obi wan kenobi's bowl, didjoo?


and duk duk, u did not...u know, make bubbles in there either, right?

and chocobot was with me playing thunderpoops n ladders all day so hmmmmmm.....


 maybe mario ate too much monkey chow munchies and foofied up his own water!!

 

(blink..blink...blink)

well....o, i know what we can do!

 

do not worry, mario something something obi wan kenobi, the scene is safe! i am going getchoo some of my emergency pepcid and soon your tummy will be as good as new. 

come on duk duk, chocobot, n lil pink puppy, i am going to need all your help to open the drawer under the washer where mom keeps my medicine because even though it is very low it is very heavy. 

we'll be right back mar-

 

why no, mom.  everything is fine.  we are just going to mario some medicine to help with his foofie tummy because as you can see he is bubbling up his bowl and considering his water is like our air i bet that really stinks -- what? oh?? really? 

well i'll be. mario made a bubble nest!   i had no idea fishies were part duk, didjoo?   

my friend: mario something something something obi wan kenobi

(okay, dad. his name is what again?...wow, really? are you sure?... okay. okay. no, do not worry, we got dis. me n duk duk promised the next door little misses sarah and julia we would take care of their pet fish while they were away at summer camp and a promise is a promise.  plus we can earn our inches in ichthyology and homies in hospitality chipscout badges all at the same time! okay lemme go greet our guest...)

why hello, mario something something something obi wan kenobi! my what a pretty tail you have. me and duk duk will be taking care of you all week long while your moms are away, so please, relax and enjoy your stay and let me know if there is anything me or duk duk can get you to help make you comfortable in our home.  which, really, probably doesn't feel much different than your home because well technically you are still in your home but your home is located in our home for now so yes, if there is anything me or duk duk can do for you, mario something something something obi wan kenobi, just let me or duk duk know. and, don't forget - we will be offering complimentary monkey chow munchies during our megamusic happy hours here in the kitchen every day from 5pm to 6pm, and continental poopie snake snackfasts in the mornings from 9am to 10 am, with additional delicious tomato snackies available on the deck outside anytime.  i hope you enjoy your stay with us and if you need anything, mario something something something obi wan kenobi, my name is baxter! :) :)

baxter and duk duk's proper policies for polite pirates: interacting with girls

if a girl licks u, always wait until she turns away before kaacking off the cooties.

my visit with lulu & happy 4th of july!

dear diary,
hooray! yesterday my friend lulu came to visit for the day and i got to show her all the favorite things i like to do in the summer, like sniff the morning air from my open window and eat my daily tomato and why, yes,  we even did a little pirate training.  well, okay it started off as pirate training but somehow it turned into a garden tea party.  which lil pink puppy n chocobot were all excited about but for me n duk duk, not so much if u know what i mean. but lulu was our guest so you know, instead of there being a lot of arrrrr mateys like i was hopin,  the conversation was all, wouldjoo like one lump or two, and, fiddle dee dee, weren't the monkey chow scones with clotted cream just deee-lightful? (okay, don't tell duk duk but yes they were and boy i hope lulu makes them again sometime. and no i do not need a sister or a girlfriend.)

anyhoo, diary, i am really glad i got to spend time with my friend lulu and i am also glad that today is the 4th of july because u know what that means - it's grillin time! and it means i must run and help my dad by licking stuff off the deck so sadly, i must now bid you a fond...

toodleydoo!
b. :)

p

dapper doxie duds: i like watermelon

dear diary, 
yippee! yesterday i got to model the dud mom finished for my new friend peyton and i am really excited bcuz it has a watermelon on it because peyton likes watermelon and hey i wonder if we still have any watermelon...nope..o well. so anyhoo my new friend peyton is a smooth black and tan whose mom said he would not be afraid to mix plaid and stripes and well certainly the same must be true about mixing dots and watermelons and bring bold happy colors, right?  and although he is not nearly as big as me, he is still big enough that i can model it. which was such a relief bcuz i was really hoping to earn my snackies yesterday,and well, i did!

so peyton, if u r reading my diary, i just wanted to say i hope u really like your new festive dud and if u get any watermelon please do tell me all about it because boo hoo we do not have any here.  o, and i hope u r having a very wonderful weekend!!

toodley-doo!
b. :)

dapper doxie duds: take me out to the ball game

dear diary,
yesterday i finished modeling the last of the duds mom made while i was away, and i must say i sure hope mom will be making more duds soon bcuz me and my tummy will not otherwise know how to make up for the loss in the snackie bonuses we have been receiving all week. but even if that doesn't happen soon, at least we went out with a double header bcuz this pair of super cool red sox baseball duds were made for my wonderful friends  bogey and remy. i certainly hope they have as much fun wearing them as i did modeling them, because as you can see they are quite versatile and in fact bogey n remy could even make a movie with them and probably win an oscar because as you can see the duds and how u wear them can really help a pup elicit very nuanced emotion.

well diary, speaking of movies, i best get going bcuz me n duk duk are going start production on our top secret feature film project for school. i cannot tell you much about it but if u know of where we can buy a bowl big enough to make 5000 gallons of jello, u know where to find me.

toodley-doo!
b.:)

dapper doxie duds: tucker's LSU Sporty Dud

hee hee, okay, one more time mister dragon, but this time, kick AND foofie!

- baxter, 5.25 years old, on teaching the finer points of foofie football to his friend mister dragon.

Well hello, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter reporting to you today on another dud my mom made while me and duk duk were away on spring break camping on foofie mountain.  Today, it's all about football.  Or, LSU football that is. Which, I really don't know how to play even though I had a chance to learn and earn a badge for it back on foofie mountain but did not because I was busy making - er, hunting - poopie snakes, but as u can probably tell from the picture above, it really doesn't matter.  Cuz mostly I think u kick and tackle and run and well, all the stuff we do in foofie football except for the foofie part. So I hope my friend Tucker will still feel right at home wearing his new dud because from what I hear, his little sister Tilly is all about tackling him, just like it's done in either game.  Hee hee, come to think of it, maybe she needs a football dud, too.

Anyhoo, even though my tummy and I had a fine time modeling Tucker's LSU football dud, I am so glad to give you an opportunity to see Tucker modeling his own dud too. Doesn't he look swell?  I hope he has plenty of swell adventures in it.

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter, wishing you a very happy and poopie filled Thursday.  :)

dapper doxie duds: penny princess's purple posey dud

Well hello, it's me, Baxter, your roving reporter reporting to you today from my home. Now, it's wet and rainy here but I like to think it's because I just helped my mom send a happy package of sunshine to my friend Penny Princess.  You see, while I was away, apparently mom got a lot done in the crafty department and so today I wanted to show u the dud she made especially for Penny Princess.  And yeah, you guessed it, I was a little too big to be modeling her dud.  So maybe today we both can use our imaginations to think about how the dud might look on Penny, who is a really cool piebald who looks like - well why don't you see for yourself?










Yep this is my friend Penny but her mom calls her Princess a lot and so I guess I like to think of her as Penny Princess.  And just like me she is a rescue, only not like me she has a brother which sometimes I think would be cool til my tummy chimes in and reminds me I would have to share my snackies and really, I do not get enough snackies as it is.

But anyhow, are you ready to see Penny Princess's new purple posey dud and imagine how she looks in it, because here it is!

Yep, Penny's purple posey dud was made with a periwinkle and purple and magenta cotton batik and embellished with an iridescent and mixed glass beaded handmade flower, topped off with a very sweet sterling silver and amethyst dangle.  I hope she likes it! And maybe if my tummy is lucky tomorrow I will report to you about a dud that actually fits me.  But for now, this is Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you the wonderfullest of Wednesdays! :)

dapper doxie duds: puppsburgh steelers

okay mom, i am ready to model oskar's new steelers dud....wait? what?  i might actually be able to fit this one?  oh yippee! give me a second to put it on right, okay?

ta da!  o me so cannot wait for oskar to get his new dud and maybe when he gets it he will show me how to play football or at least show me how to make steel bcuz me n duk duk can really use a lot of it for the skyscraper we plan 2 make this spring after we are done with the trebuchet :)