Showing posts with label hardeehar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hardeehar. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

capital offense :)


hee hee hee, new snackies!! b, b, b...


mine mine mi- hey!


no snitching, turkey breath! it’s not my fault some dukkie played hooky while me and mom filled orders yesterday. i earned these birthday cake snackies fair and square. besides...


with the b and all, they practically have my name on each and every one of them. so no sharesies and definitely no snitching.

wait, what? nopies. nope, no way nosiree. nope. how can u even say that? look. they are too. fine, we will ask mom.


mom, are these snackies shaped like a capital b or two capital ds??

Monday, April 23, 2018

perthonal beth

hee hee i prometh, mom, u hwill noth regreth thith becauth i haf been practithing. thith whithle hwill be tho good, hit will be hmy perthonal beth. juth hang on a hthec while i relakth hmy lipth and focuth...hokay, hready?


(PFWEEEEEeeeEeeeeEeeOoooot!)


hee hee, ta-thaaaah!


peee-eeew. hokay u can hleth go hnow my eyeth r tharting 2 wather from the thmell . :)

Friday, March 30, 2018

easter, finally :)

well, we were just thinking, mom, that he probably really deserves it on account of all the eggs he takes without really asking. and then, when he gives them out, he gets all the credit when what did he do, really? i mean, he has all year to come up with something original that he can make himself and he has all year to come up with something fun to do but what does he do? every year he gives out chicken eggs he stole from, u guessed it, chickens, and every year if u r really not luckee, he makes u scary santa sit on his lap for pictures at the mall. only it is worse because u do not even get to ask him for presents or anything so u pretty much dressed up and stress pooped for nothing. not to mention the humiliation of the whole experience really - i mean, u probably do not understand that on account of not being natural born predator like me and duk duk, but trust me, wolves and falcons do not just sit on their prey’s lap if u know what i mean.

o, and the jelly beans that everyone thinks he poops? not even. chocobot says he poops pellets just like every other bunny cuz he saw him pooping at last easter’s invitation only tgiafter easter disco party. which he only started holding after he found out about our tgidiscofriday parties and u know he knows we know which is why he did not invite us.


so, anyway, i guess what me and duk duk are trying to say is, yes, we think it is perfectly fine to ask if u would help us rent a backhoe so we can finally dig a big enough hole to finally trap him and finally when we do, we finally can go rawwwr on him and finally that would be that. cuz ima wolf. and he’s a falcon. and rawwring is what we do. :)

Monday, February 19, 2018

lessons unlearned :)

kaaack! kaaaack! hee hee hee. fooowhee, even with my mask on that was a doozy and a half, duk duk. thank goodness we made sure fresh air is only a tent flap away. what’s that? o, yeppies, i totally agree. although even if we could get gjetost, i am not really sure there will be a next time because technically we promised mom that we would never play guess whose foofie inside the house again much less in the bedroom where we all sleep at night. hee hee, yeah, i guess we do make that promise every time. but seriously how could she expect us not to play after she made us this incredible blankie fort? it’s pretty much like she was telling us to play, right? i mean - uh-oh, i hear mom coming...

um, mom, before u lose consciousness from the overwhelming stench we just made, me and duk duk just wanted to tell u..whoops, there she goes. too late.


u know, u think she’d have learned by now to put her gas mask on before she starts looking for us.

Monday, February 12, 2018

hypoopthetically speaking

..well, if it had 2 happen, i suppose i would be like..

“eeeeew thanks for the smelly valentine flowers i guess, but next time just wear gloves and leave some gummy worms in my locker cuz that way me and duk duk can share them okay?”


yeppies, i am pretty sure that’s what i would do. :)

Saturday, January 20, 2018

etsy fresh: baxter & duk duk's guts and glory dachshund xray secret story valentine's day card


hee hee, omg, duk duk, our super new xray guts and glory valentine's day cards turned out really swell, dontchoo think? do not tell mom, but this totally makes up for actually having to get that darned xray from the scary special tushie man so long ago.  i cannot wait for everybuddt 2 find these cards in our etsy shop!
 
  

what's that, duk duk?  yeppies, i agree.  i am glad we resisted the temptation to color that part brown like we really wanted to.  it is definitely more subtle this way.  and that way it can be a secret that nobuddy will know except u and me and anybuddy who knows what we know if they know where 2 look.  




 so on the outside, when u r giving out valentines, u can look all innocent and be like,  "hi howya doin? my what a pretty dress u r wearing. cooties, what cooties?  here's a valentine's day card, see ya. "


 
and on the inside u can be like, hawhaw, the jokes on u - i just gave u a valentine with an xray of my incredibly packed poopie filled colon on there, too. 

 
well okay, intestines.  but colon just sounds better when u think it, doesn't it?






























anyhoo, i sure hope our friends think this will be a unique and swell valentine's day card to send to their friends this year because i know we do! :)











clicky here to score yours today! :) -->
https://www.etsy.com/listing/574124228/dachshund-xray-bottom-of-my-heart-guts?ref=shop_home_active_1



 

Friday, January 19, 2018

pee-coy pooper

um, well, dad, i guess...well... okay, i guess maybe it could be almond roca...and, well, i guess maybe it could be possible that the almond roca was coincidentally deposited on the snow yesterday night during a time when it appeared i was fulfilling my promise 2 poop outside...


but technically it was not wasted
and tecnically i did drop a load outside. so i feel i met my quota, dontchoo?

Monday, January 15, 2018

i think, i thank, i thunk :)

hee hee hee. oh yeah, this is totally going to work.


what??? snufflupagus? okay fine, duk duk. roll it up so my nose shows but that’s it. besides, if ima gonna wear it all day at school i guess it would be good to have a second blow hole. well, i mean a second smell hole. wait, i guess i still need to clarify. a blow hole slash smell hole for breathing in. which technically makes this new hole the one (and only) blow slash smell hole for that particular purpose. because the other blow slash smell hole that we already accommodated is really more of an blow out-

(sniff sniff) mom?


um, o nothing really. just getting ready for school. and well, u know how my ears get really cold ? and, well, the rest of me really? and u know how i cannot wear my puffy coat during class anymore for, well, reasons? well, tadaah - solution. say hello to the shai hulud 3000. now with two blow holes.

wait, what, mom?

hmmm...

hmmmmmm..

hmmmmmmmmm..


nopies, mom. i do not think that wearing this will affect my ability to learn any less than i already do in school :)

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

puffy jacket weather

what?? i am not too big. i just look puffy because i am wearing the down jackie mom got me. and beaide, some dukkie should thank his luckee stars its not filled with his feathers, thank you.


now make way make way, let a wolfie in. it's freezing out-


(kaaack) here. foo-whee! omg, people, decency much? i mean, serously. it smells like, like.. fermented cheese in there . (kaaack).


hee hee, everybuddy knows to make a stink really spectacular u need the nuanced notes produced by a ferocious carnivore's biome. now lemme in quick cuz i think this instant pot's about to blow. :)

Friday, December 22, 2017

baxter and duk duk's infinite christmas playlist

okay, that one..o, maybe a million times. no wait, a million and one times.


hee hee, what's that, duk duk? oh yes, by apples in stereo. i will look that one up next.


oh no, not again! seriously why bother even making an app for something that may as well be easier and more reliable if u trained a monkey to do it using punch cards and an abacus.


now we have 2 start all over again.


boy, i sure hope santa appreciates how busy we been spending all this time trying to stay good. how many days is it til christmas again??



Wednesday, December 20, 2017

orNOmentally speaking


hee, hee, well, mom, technically i did hang our new ornament :)

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

be kind rewind

hee hee, okay, okay, duk duk. just give me a couple more minutes with this fresh hot pile of laundry and then i can help u with the thanksgiving centerpiece for our table.

what? no, those are my gummy worms fair and square. it's not my fault u stink at playing monkey chow mambo chugalug chewdown. i mean, seriously, i feel like i am so full of monkey chow gas bubbles right now that the only thing keeping me from literally exploding is...hmmmmmm. well, nothing real-


(pfweeeeeOoOoOoOoooooOooot!)


-ly. hee hee hee. foo-whee! um, mom, i think we might have to hit the rewind button on this load of laundry if u know what i mean :)

Friday, October 27, 2017

ask a wolf a silly question:)


hee hee, really, u do not know, mom? here, i will show u..


see? they do it like this...(nibble nibble..nibble nibble)


and then, if they run out of leaves, they just turn their head, and they eat more!
(nibble nibble. nibble nibble nibble)


and that is pretty much how giraffes eat. :)

Friday, September 22, 2017

a brushy a day :)


ooooOooOooooOOOoo! duk duk, r u stinking what i am stinking?? quick go get it..


hee hee hee... a brushy a day keeps the butt licking breath at bay :)


Friday, September 1, 2017

quack three times


hee hee, no, duk duk, u can go if u want to but i toldjoo already i am not moving an inch until mom starts another hungry games. last time it was chicken jerky versus mackerel and greens and before that it was cherry tomato vs chicken jerky. i did not know it was even possible, but the stakes seem to be getting higher and even more deliciouser.
besides, what r u even doing back there by my tushie? u know how dan-


(
pfweeeeOoooOOOOOooOooT!)



-gerous it can be. hee hee, whoopsie. um, i cannot really see u so quack once if u r still conscious, twice if u need urgent medical assistance, and three times if u do not want me to eat your share of dessert tonitey nite. :)