nice try

dear mrs teacher,
please excuse baxter poopie bottoms from school today.  as u can see he is not feeling very well and neither is duk duk the magnificent.  please do not bother calling me with their assignments today because i am sure they will catch back up upon their return. though i cannot guarantee baxter's butt will be any less stinky.

thank u for understanding and if u would, please send lil pink puppy home early so he can finish decrusting our wii.

yours truly,
mrs baxterpoopiebutt and duk duk's mom

day 3: a little help pleeeze?

dear diary,
well it is day three and  i was hoping not to bother dad while he was working and so i wanted to put my collar back on after taking my bath all by myself and uh, well, as u can see i am in a bit of a bind. so if u can think of sumptin before duk duk n lil pink puppy come back with the crisco,  i am all ears.  well, i would be if my collar were not holding them down. 

anyhoo once i am out of this predicament i hope u can stay and we can all share this snackie mom left for us!

toodley bye-bye!
b. :)

unicorn appreciation day - o unicorn!

o unicorn! o unicorn!

how glad we are we found you;

o unicorn! o unicorn!
why here's a party just for you;
you are so swell, we love you so;
you are the best oh don't you know?
o unicorn! o unicorn!
our many thanks for being you!

o unicorn! o unicorn!

we made a milkshake just for you;

o unicorn! o unicorn!

yep it is made from monkey chow!

not only smooth, it's tasty too

and if you're lucky, it'll make u poo.

o unicorn! o unicorn!

in foofies we will join you!

o unicorn! o unicornnnnnn!

please come again we love yooooooooooooooooou!

hee hee, wishing you and your unicorn a gas of a good time on this very special day!! 
luv, baxter, duk duk, lil pink puppy, n unicorn :)

shooshie pleeeze :)

dear diary,
oooooo my wittle head.  as u might guess diary, me n duk duk had tons of fun at blankie camp pupnduk, but me thinks we probably should not have stayed up so late reading page after page trying to find out if everygirl detective got out of her jam with the wereduk (she did!) and maybe not watched that godzilla double movie creature feature (but it was so cool!) and maybe waited on the late night scooby snak eating contest til daytime today (but i won!).

but on the plus side me thinks duk duk and i will both spend today napping which is good because mom has to go run errands and dad will be upstairs in the office and that means we can just hang out with the shades down and recharge so that we can be ready again for another fun night at camp pupnduk.  only this time maybe we will not stay up so late so we can be better prepared to protect the birdfeeders that dad just refilled.

speaking of which, if u see the squirrels at the birdfeeder today, can u please tell them to come back and we will squirt - i mean play - with them later? thank u diary.

toodley-yawn!
b. :)

school picture

mom, my tummy is a little rumbly and me so bored. 
is there anything i can do to earn a snackie?

Why, yes, my little friend, in fact I just finished setting up this display so we can take your picture for the school yearbook. What do you think?

meh, it's okay i guess.  do i have to pose with this stuff? i'm four years old now.

Hmmm... well, baby dog, no I guess you don't have to.
And you are old enough to dress yourself now. How bout
you pick out some things from your closet and come back
when you are ready?

yippee! i will be right back.

And if you see duk duk tell him his turn will be next.

yeah yeah sure mom. tee hee hee, okay are u ready?

ta-dah!

hee hee hee, best school picture ever! i can't wait til everybuddy gets a load of me in the yearbook! :)b

sleepyhead

oh me got up so early today to watch the royal wedding on tv but it is taking forever. somebuddy please wake me up when the queen's flower dorgis walk down the aisle?

double posties: guess who

dear diary,
hee hee hee, so me n duk duk have been playin retro video games this week and guess what one we are playing now.  i'll give u a hint - it looks a lot like the picture below, only well, namewise, the real one has an e and an r in it, and mine replaces it with a u and a t. if  u think u know it, tell me what the actual name is and the name of my character. and i hope u figure it out, cuz if u do diary, u are so an honorary member of me n duk duk's new cultured club! and u know what that means, more snackies for everybody!  

toodley-doo ,
b. :) 

my trip to the zoo

Hey, it's me, Baxter! Mom was busy doin stuff so she asked me to write today's post. So I thought I would be your roving rover reporter reporting to you today from outside the reptile and amphibian pavillion of my local zoo.  Even though there are many cool frogs and lizards to look at, today we are going to take a look at a very special snake here at the zoo, one that is very rare and some say very scary. In fact, it is so rare that I have never seen anything else like it.  And I think it is so scary that I decided to let you choose yourself if you want to see it.  So I took a picture of it earlier, and if you are feeling brave, please click on the name of the snake below and you too can share this very special and unique experience.

boiga x. cremen talloria irregularis

HEE HEE HEE! APRIL FOOL! Say hello to my leetle poopie snake!! Do u like it, cuz i totally made it myself!! Oh duk duk was right, this is so worth all the extra chores we will have to do when mom finds out what we did!

I hope you enjoyed my report. This is Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you a very happy Friday! :)

my special thank u :)

hello world! i have never sung before so i hope u will forgive me if i am a little out of tune and my moves aren't exactly right.  but i really wanted to do something special to thank u all your support and if u like it maybe me and duk duk will make more, cuz we totally had fun makin it.  so with further ado - oh wait,  duk duk thinks u should watch this in full screen and so before u hit play,  click on the little arrowy thing over on the lower right of the video - okay, without further ado, here is my special performance 4 you.   :) b

nuttin honey / revenge of the duk!

 

dear diary,
boy with mom getting ready for taxes and dad workin, it was really a slow day today, except for when i got to bark at the postlady for bringing a package for duk duk.  which he took straight to the toybox, come to think of it. boy i wonder what was in there, they way he was laughing and giggling.  oh well, if it weren't so cold n cloudy out i might have followed him, but i was so cozy sleepin on my lambskin woolie that i decided to stay put.

anyhoo, methinks i will go to bed early tonight and maybe tomorrow on thursday i will get to see what duk duk got.  i am sure it is something really cool.

toodley-doo!
b.


  




MWAH HA HA HA HA HA. it's after midnight and some dogs should really remember to logoff the computer before they go to bed. that package? totally super cool predator vision night goggle cam. yeah u know why i got 'em, my friend. consider yourself duk dukked!!





ps - good luck tryin to mess with my iphone cuz i totally hid it.

pps - hey guess what, we can totally play super mario kart on the wii after school 2day cuz I found us some new batteries for the controllers!   your pal, d.

i will bend like a reed in the wind

dear diary,
boy, hidin from duk duk all day took some serious effort! i am so glad i earned my camo for canines badge in pup scouts cuz those skills totally came in handy.

whoops! i think i hear duk duk coming so i best get back to hiding.  hope u have a swell thursday! later today i guess i will need to face the music with duk duk but i am thinking maybe before that i should go dig up some worms from the backyard for him, just to help smooth things over.

toodley-doo!
b.   :)




ps - mom says a day without a picture of me is like a day without sunshine, and even though it is really me under here and it was sunny out, i guess to make mom happy, here is another picture of me. taken when the coast was clear and after i took tinky outside.  cuz i know u would want to know that. :)

messin with duk duk

dear diary,
boy was i totally wrong about that spycam mom got me.  it's the best thing in the whole world, even if u can't eat it.  cuz looky, what do u get when u mix one doxie,  a best friend duk that embarrassed u in front of all the backyard squirrels by tellin them i still sleep with my mom n dad, and spycam u hid in the bathroom?  hee, hee, hee, see for yourself!! 







i cannot wait to post this on facebook and tag him in it!  well i better hide my toothbrush and make myself scarce for a while.   let me know if u see a one winged duk with a spycam, will ya?


toodley-doo!
b.

crowning glory

dear diary,
well diary, as you might be aware, duk duk and i have been working on project monkeys in space for like forever now. well, mostly doing fundraising in the form of saving our kibble n worms so we can buy the monkeys cuz i hear they cost a lot. well, the good ones anyway, the trainable kind that u can use as a butt-ler afterwards, and not the grouchy kind that might throw monkey poo at u if u know what i mean.

anyways, me and duk duk kinda got the munchies yesterday night after mom n dad went to bed and, well, let's just say the funding for project monkeys in space kinda suffered a setback of epic proportions.

so duk duk and i were stuck trying to think of ways we could earn more kibble fast and wouldn't u know that mom said her little ontrapuhnoors - wait apparently that's not spelled right - entrepreneurs should consider a fundraiser. and wouldn't u know she had just the thing we could sell.

ooo, i was thinking, sign us up! maybe mom made greeting cards of the poopie snake i made the other day, or even better, castings so we could paint them gold and offer them as paper weights. and this time duk duk could be the model cuz he could be the duk that laid the golden poopie in our ad campaign.

but, no such luck. mom came back with a half dozen sparkly girly crown things and said "looky at these pretty little treasures! there are only a half dozen of them all together in three different designs, and i just know there are six lucky doxie girls out there who would love having their very own, very well made, very sparkly princess crowns. and i can even help you and duk duk with the ribbon and instructions on how to tie it on their heads so everything stays neatly in place! it can be your very own project mister universe!"

mom was so excited i really didn't have the heart to say anything but i think u can tell by my face what i was thinkin when it came time to start taking pictures for our ad campaign.



yeah, this is me in the Princess Diana. and yeah, u know what duk duk was doin when mom wasn't looking.  laughing his feathers off.

but don't worry, diary.  moments later i remembered that this was all for a good cause and i got really into it. cuz at sixteen bucks, plus shipping, i'm thinking we'll be able to turn a few little doxies into the queens and princesses they really are and we can buy like a whole zoo of monkeys! and i hate to admit, but these things really are very pretty!

well, mom said duk duk and i could use tomorrow's post to tell u more about our crowns so i best get ready for it. duk duk already set up our email to take questions and everything. i am so excited!! :)

toodley-doo!
b.

poultry flavored

Some conversations between husband and wife as they brush their teeth for bed should never have to start like this:

"Hey hwile ah hwuz ghon, hwif toofbruf didjoo yoosh fur babee dawg?"

Yeah, you know what the answer to my question was. Total toothbrush interruptus.

me likey dat: my snackie plate

hey, what's that?

is that what i think it is?

santa forgot to eat the snackie i left for him.

how awful that he missed out on such a delicious snackie.
u don't think he didn't want to eat it cuz i took a tiny nibbleypoo, do u?
i had to make sure it tasted good.

hmm, maybe i should mail it to him.

but maybe he didn't really want it
and he lives so far away.

and my tumbly is feeling a little rumbly...

nommy nom nom.
oh santa won't miss just this one little snackie, will he?
next christmas i promise to leave out a whole plate full.

(tee hee, thank u madeline for making me my very own personalized snackie plate for christmas! luv, b.)

M R duks

Looky, Baxter, M R ducks!

m r not.

O S A R, C M wings? and C D E D B D feet?

l i b. m r duks!












(tee hee - happy new year everybuddy! i so enjoyed my walkies yesterday i think i will go for another one today. and i so hope i see more real duks! luv, b.)

the ghosts of christmas presents

dear diary,
boy am i bummed! duk duk and i were watching a christmas carol on tv last night, and I sorta fell asleep during it, so duk duk filled me in on what i missed, and he told me all about these ghosts, u know, the ghosts of christmas presents, all spooky n oooo-ooo-oo-ooey? u know, that come with very presents i was thinkin i wanted from santa claus? sheesh why doesn't anybody tell me these things?

even though i am four now, i really don't want to be dealin with ghosts, so lucky for me haven't typed my letter to santa yet. now i am so going to give him a piece of my mind. well, not really, cuz luckily duk duk says he is not afraid of christmas present ghosts and we agreed i will santa to give him my presents. i am so lucky duk duk is my pal! here is the letter duk duk helped me write.



well that is all for now. things might be a little bare under my tree this year but really, that's okay. cuz i got my mom n dad n all my toyfriends to keep me company and that's all that matters, isn't it? :)

toodley-doo!
b.

happy thanksgiving

Hey, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you today about Thanksgiving. The first Thanksgiving. Now, you may think you already know everything there is about this holiday, but my friend duk duk has discovered a little known and very cool fact. Yep, my ancestor, Baxter Henry Klementius Skipjack, was at that very first Thanksgiving. My great great great great great great great - uh, how bout we just call him super great - granduncle! He came over on the Mayflower along with everybody else, and helped the pilgrims hunt rabbits and turkeys and planted corn and everything! Here's picture of him, sitting at the dog's table on that very day. Super cool, right? And boy does his Thanksgiving meal look TASTY!



Speaking of meals, I'm afraid I must cut my report short as I am sure hoping it might be time for mine. And believe me, I am so thankful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!!

Luv,
b.

tiny yoda

hee, I posted this on Facebook yesterday but thought it needed a proper home here in Kalyxcornucopia world.

feed me u will, young jedi. it is your destiny!

it's also double posties today so feel free to scroll down and check out what else has been going on in the microverse! have a happy weekend! :)

ham cam

hey, whatcha got there? a camera?
mom said i was done takin pictures for today.

but i see u have a snackie so between u and me,
i think we can work something out.

u ready?

cheeeeeeese!

tee hee hee hee! payment in full please! :)