Showing posts with label toyfriends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toyfriends. Show all posts

Friday, October 14, 2016

misDirection

oh, well nothing really, mom. i mean, well other than trying to grow a pair of antlers. is that what u were asking about? because i sure do not smell anything out of the ordinary. nopies, nosirree :)



Wednesday, October 12, 2016

exstinked

whoa duk duk, u were right. the air has been clearing for hours now and i am still dizzy! maybe next time we should really listen to mom and not play guess whose foofie inside anymore.  at least when we both have been preparing for days. that touch of stinky fermented tofu was pure genius by the way. i bet it tasted horrible but the effect was so worth it! i wonder how we will ever top..ooo hang on..



mom, may me and duk duk please borrow your credit card and order some surströmming, i mean, may we please order something important from amazon? we promise we will pay u back :) 


Monday, September 12, 2016

agent brown part 2













...and that's my robot chip! i have had it forever now, but it is nice to see it finally in person. the robot chip is pretty much the reason why i am transforming into a wolf but the process still takes a lot of time because the chip works with my body at a subcellular level.

anyhow, u guys wanna see the best part of the bioscan that the   
 multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction took of me before i destroyed it?  here, lemme swipe it to the updated graphic i made to take to school today for show n tell.














okay, so, as u might imagine, this scan was being performed just moments before i released the agent brown, and what the robot saw, and what the special doctor mister tushie man ended up seeing, and what i already could feel was..well, i think u can see why the robot singled me out from all those big dopey dogs. cuz, well aside from being perfectly ok and ready for anesthesia should i ever need it for the MRI when the special doctor mister tushie man really thinks i should get it which is not right now...well let's just say we finally have proof positive of what u know i know we all know we know and what we all can now see here...

that's right, there it is my friends, my no-longer-secret agent brown reserve, aka the mega poopie snake. master of olfactory disaster. u can run and u can hide, but u cannot escape, when i let it slide...


hee hee hee! anyhow, the special doctor mister tushie man pretty much admired how big my agent brown reserve was, and dad was like, "yeah he wouldn't poopies before we brought him" and i was like, "yeah dad, u know why now and u can thank me later with a trip to the chikky fila. saved the universe, yo" and then for some reason dad said i was not allowed to watch breaking bad anymore.  but anyway, so, yeah.  now we just wait and see and hope my neck doesn't flare up or at least if it does then we know we will go ahead with my MRI and then really see if i might need surgery or something. and in the meanwhile i will keep seeing doctor miss erin for my laser therapy and if i can ever calm my inner wolf we will also get me some more massages. oooh - i think i hear the bus coming! time to go!! :) :)


Friday, September 9, 2016

agent brown


and so i was like, "heck no, mom, it's a trap. i'll stay right here with u and dad, thank u very much."

what's that, lulu the tiger? it's okay, yeah, u guys can come closer and look.  and smell if u want. it does not really hurt anymore. lessee, where was i?


 








...oh,  so even though i turned my electromagnets on, the special doctor tushie man still managed to take me to the back, right? and that's where i see it. but nobuddy else does and i'm like, "uh, hello, anybuddy else see the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction? anybuddy??" nopies.  crickets. and a bunch of big noisy dopey dogs being dopey and a cat. well i think it was a cat. i never saw it, only smelled it.  but i am pretty sure it was a cat cuz it smelled like cheezy fish breath and raspberry lip gloss from all the kissy kissies they get on their head.



















anyhow, so i'm thinking, great, surrounded by dopey big dogs who are too dopey to do anything, and me without our emergency backpack. u know the one, that we packed with our mini travel trebuchet and my long bow and at least three different types of light sabers plus enough ammo and arrows and dragon glass to fight off at least two hoards of zombies and seven battalions of white walkers and orcs.  and probably one multimaster robomegamonster of doom and destruction probably, but i will never know because mom would not let me bring it. "too heavy for my back," she said...









..which makes me wonder... maybe next time, well if there is a next time i go to the special doctor mister tushie man because he did say i seem to be doing well enough that we could delay my MRI at least until we see what happens next time i have an incident...so, maybe next time i have to see him, which hopefully is maybe like, never from now, well hopefully maybe mom will let me bring my weapons backpack if we tie it to the hood of the pedal car and then we tie the pedal car to mom's car so we can tow it... 


























what's that chocobot?  oh yes, right. so, at that point i'm like, "sheesh, swell mom.  dragged back here and left on my own, staring into the face of the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction.  swell.  thanks for making me leave all my weapons at home, mom and dad. thanks a lot. "

and then, before i could even think another word, the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction shot at me with his inviso ray eyes, then it poked me with a needle. not once but twice and it even drew blood! by that point i only had my wolfy instincts to rely on, but the robot was so close and angled in such a way that i knew my ferocious fangs were not really going to be very effective.  so i did it.   i was really hoping to save it too because i could feel it was going to be a doozy, but i had to do it. there was nothing else left i could do.  i released the agent brown...if u know what i mean. 






yeah, lil pink puppy.  the robot pretty much dissolved immediately really.  then the techs came back and found me they were like, "yo dude what's that smell and what happened 2 you, ferocious wolf? " and i just said, "u would not believe me if i tried, my friend." so they wrapped me up and took me back out to mom and dad  and we went home and here i am. 

well, hee hee, okay, they also gave me the picture the robot took of me before agent brown came to town, if u know what i mean. i cannot wait to show u guys. let me get it and i will tell u what else the special doctor mister tushie man told me... (to be continued :) )


























































agent brown part one


and so i was like, "heck no, mom, it's a trap. i'll stay right here with u and dad, thank u very much."

what's that, lulu the tiger? it's okay, yeah, u guys can come closer and look.  and smell if u want. it does not really hurt anymore. lessee, where was i?


 








...oh,  so even though i turned my electromagnets on, the special doctor tushie man still managed to take me to the back, right? and that's where i see it. but nobuddy else does and i'm like, "uh, hello, anybuddy else see the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction? anybuddy??" nopies.  crickets. and a bunch of big noisy dopey dogs being dopey and a cat. well i think it was a cat. i never saw it, only smelled it.  but i am pretty sure it was a cat cuz it smelled like cheezy fish breath and raspberry lip gloss from all the kissy kissies they get on their head.



















anyhow, so i'm thinking, great, surrounded by dopey big dogs who are too dopey to do anything, and me without our emergency backpack. u know the one, that we packed with our mini travel trebuchet and my long bow and at least three different types of light sabers plus enough ammo and arrows and dragon glass to fight off at least two hoards of zombies and seven battalions of white walkers and orcs.  and probably one multimaster robomegamonster of doom and destruction probably, but i will never know because mom would not let me bring it. "too heavy for my back," she said...









..which makes me wonder... maybe next time, well if there is a next time i go to the special doctor mister tushie man because he did say i seem to be doing well enough that we could delay my MRI at least until we see what happens next time i have an incident...so, maybe next time i have to see him, which hopefully is maybe like, never from now, well hopefully maybe mom will let me bring my weapons backpack if we tie it to the hood of the pedal car and then we tie the pedal car to mom's car so we can tow it... 


























what's that chocobot?  oh yes, right. so, at that point i'm like, "sheesh, swell mom.  dragged back here and left on my own, staring into the face of the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction.  swell.  thanks for making me leave all my weapons at home, mom and dad. thanks a lot. "

and then, before i could even think another word, the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction shot at me with his inviso ray eyes, then it poked me with a needle. not once but twice and it even drew blood! by that point i only had my wolfy instincts to rely on, but the robot was so close and angled in such a way that i knew my ferocious fangs were not really going to be very effective.  so i did it.   i was really hoping to save it too because i could feel it was going to be a doozy, but i had to do it. there was nothing else left i could do.  i released the agent brown...if u know what i mean. 






yeah, lil pink puppy.  the robot pretty much dissolved immediately really.  then the techs came back and found me they were like, "yo dude what's that smell and what happened 2 you, ferocious wolf? " and i just said, "u would not believe me if i tried, my friend." so they wrapped me up and took me back out to mom and dad  and we went home and here i am. 

well, hee hee, okay, they also gave me the picture the robot took of me before agent brown came to town, if u know what i mean. i cannot wait to show u guys. let me get it and i will tell u what else the special doctor mister tushie man told me... (to be continued :) )


























































Friday, September 2, 2016

thank u miss Debbi

the hmmmm. left eye. right eye. left eye. right eye. both eyes...left eye. right eye...left eye... 

yeppies dukduk, even though the dizzy is kind of nice, I think maybe for now I should just put my old ones on so we can read the letter miss Debbi included with our lovely package. 



oh yes I can see one hundred and threeventy nine percent better now. left eye. right eye. left eye. both eyes. yup totally better. okay, where were we?



dear Baxter and family....mm-hmm, o I see, mm-hmm mm-hmm, love miss Debbi! oh how swell - that was really really nice of miss Debbi to send us these super cool goodies. my neck feels better already. doesn't yours duk duk? 

well okay be that way. but u know I know u know I know u know whose fault that was and u know what they say about wolves and full moons anyway. it is not my fault u did not get the memo. 

what's that? oh yeah we should totally ask her...



mooom - if we promise to write miss Debbi a thank u note tonitey nite after we finish our chores, may we please go ahead and play with the cards and eat the snackies she sent us? :) 




Friday, August 26, 2016

oh nothing really

why am I rubbing my paws together? oh nothing really, mom. and me and little duk duk were certainly not planning anything that may or may not involve poopie snakes if that is what u were wondering :) 

Friday, July 29, 2016

happy unicorn appreciation day :)







.....o chocobot, we really love u, yes we doooo-OOOOoooOOooOOoooooOOOOOO!
















 



hee hee, okay no wait lil pink puppy not yet. first we have to say it and then we can all u know what...ready, and a one and a two and a three..


























happy unicorn appreciation day, chocobot!! :)



 okay now let's dig in!! :)

 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

poopiekinesis


well, duk duk, seeing as how we have nothing but time on our hands while we watch mom work, maybe if we stare at the snackie jar long enough, it will finally happen. :)  


Wednesday, July 6, 2016

the hungry little wolf :)

'o our dear mother will never notice just one tiny tomato missing from today's bountiful harvest,' the mighty and ferocious wolf told his watchful falcon friend. and then he ate another... 


Monday, July 4, 2016

happy 4thie day

hee hee, okay okay.."four score and threeveteenzillion years ago, our founding fathers stepped foot on a new continent and pretty much decided after a while that it would be nice to have a holiday in the summer where u could grill stuff and stream movies and be thankful for air conditioning. they took this idea to their founding fathers thinking they might want to celebrate too, only our founding fathers forgot that their founding fathers neither possessed space travel or time travel capabilities so they had no idea what air conditioning or movie streaming was really about. or movies, really.  so, our founding fathers jumped back on their dragon and flew to the moon - well they called it the pendants back then - so they flew to the pendants and told the people and wolves and Falcons who were preparing for the party to go ahead and plan it without their grand founding fathers but to hurry up because any minute now a sand snake was going to surface and if they did not blast off soon it would really mess up their party plans. and as they blasted off one of the ferocious wolves declared, 'smell u later, poopinators!' and although technically he was not on the ground when he said it, because he was still in the pendant's air space, well, that is why we still know it as our declaration in the pendants. oh, and through the years really, not much has changed about how we celebrate in the pendants day except now when we party  on the 4th, we also play disco music." okay I think that should be good enough, dontchoo duk duk? now we can settle down for a nice nappie and some cheese  and - 



um, yes mom we finished our very throughly researched blog post for the Fourth of July. it has a picture we made and everything :)


Friday, July 1, 2016

twelve little duks :)

Twelve little duks on a hot summer day, popped out of the wolf's heat cave so they could play! :)


Wednesday, June 22, 2016

a flock of duk duks


hee hee, mom, with all of duk duk's cousins in town, I think we are going to need a bigger swimmy pool :)  


Wednesday, May 25, 2016

we must be gigabillionaires

the hee hee yeah duk duk, it is really small, isn't it? like, super duper tiny small. I thought it would be eleventy hundred times bigger based on the photos mom took, dontchoo duk duk?  oh hang on a sec, I think mom is saying something 2 us...



okey dokey mom, I promise me and duk duk will return it to madwilly as soon as we are finished looking at it...


boy, if this is the size mansion that millionaires built, then we must be gigabillionaires :)


Wednesday, May 4, 2016

reloaded

whoa, duk duk, déjá vu . :) #jedilaserlightsabertherapyagaintoday


Wednesday, April 27, 2016

post twits :)

wow, duk duk, u r right. this is really archaic. they call these post its but u cannot even link these to an alarmed calendar event much less set a hyperlink to your Instagram or Twitter feed. 

 
it's like, yeah they are post-its, but post it where? post it on your blog? nopies. post it on your Pinterest? nopies. post it to your etsy shop? nopies. post it on your linked in? nopies.

I guess once u r done say like writing a reminder or drawing an awesome poopie snake, then u can post them on your wall but not even like, your Facebook wall. so like, u literally just post them to your wall. literally. with no likes or anything later.  it's crazy, right?

yeppies, duk duk, I think u r right. it is a sacrifice we will have to make. let me ask her...



mom, a) thank u very much for these lovely post its u found at homegoods, b) we are sorry we used your credit card without asking and c) well, for as long as I am in jail, if me and duk duk promise never to do it again and promise to stay off amazon and stop setting up Amazon Subscribe and Save orders for gummy worms and possibly other items u may or may not have realized we have already set to convenient auto delivery every two weeks, well, if we promise all that, do u think we maybe might can have my iPad mini back? :)


Monday, April 25, 2016

ob-la-di, ob-la-da

Despite his time in jail, life goes on for a little kielbasa and his toyfriend, especially with help from the springtime scents wafting in from an open window :)

hee hee, duk duk did u smell that? i think the stinky bassets ate turkey and cheese yesterday. no wait (sniff sniff). hee hee sorry, the turkey was me.  (pffewweeooooop! sniff sniff) hee hee, yep, definitely me. :)

Friday, April 22, 2016

everything is orange



hee hee, whoa, duk duk, r u sure we are not on a merry go round because everything looks so orange and swirly now. :) #byebyegabapentin #hellovalium #jaildaynumero5 #donotworryitisreallynotsoorangeorswirly 




Friday, April 8, 2016

#trueWolfStories part 2 (guts and glory)

 




...so i'm like "hrop thith one thoo?? dhad, you're kiddingh hme. the whole reathon hwhy hwe hwent thlooking hin hower backhyard hwas hthoo theck and hthee if there were henny more. i caughth hit hfair andh thquare." 













 















then the hungry wolf in me decided, "hnope. hnope. hnoth afther hlast thime no thirree. hnot gonna hrop it. hen-oh-capithal peeth."
































it seemed like things were going nowhere, but then i had an idea. "hey hmom, hdo u hrememberr hwhat hwe talkedth habout hearlier? hafter the hfirth bunny? hif u hlet me do hthat hthen i hwill hrop it.  do hew haff a hdeal?"


"i hthaid, do hwe haff a hdeal?"




















yesssss!






and that, my friends, ends the reenactment portion of our #trueWolfStories for today. thank u anton the little lion for volunteering to play the role of bunny numero dos. 

now duk duk, if you would pull the blinds so we can start the video portion of our - what's that, lil pink puppy? oh yeppies the second bunny i caught was like a whole week older so naturally it was bigger, just like anton here. it was probably my biggest catch to date as a wolf, really. i know, so impressive, right?  and, yeppies it hopped away, back into the periwinkle patch where i cannot tinkle in for the next few weeks because mom says they need to get bigger and smarter.   any more questions?

well, lulu the tiger, u see, me and duk duk pretty much knew mom would never let us record and post what we really would want to if i ever caught a bunny and gave it the real wolf treatment, so we came up with a discreet but awesome design we could use to post a picture of my wolfy success facebook and instagram, and we came up with a plan on how we could make a video that would pretty much capture the essence of what we know would happen when a wolf uknowhats a bunny, without it, being, well u know, too #rawwwry. so mom agreed to let us do all that. speaking of which, without further ado, please now enjoy the video portion of our #trueWolfStories.  Ladies and gentlewolves, me and duk duk present to u, guts and glory. :)



Wednesday, April 6, 2016

#trueWolfStories as reenacted to friends (part 1)







...so she finally comes back to the deck and by now i'm at the door waiting to for someone to open it and i'm like, 'hmom, hlooky!! hno hinner hfor hme hthankth cuth i cauth hmine! hcan hyou pleeth hopen hthe hdoor hnow htho i can heath hit inthide hon hmy hthnackie blankee?'  

only i do not think she could hear a word i said over all that screaming.  then,  when she finally stops and tells me to u know what...





..i'm like, 'hrop it? harr hyou hidding hme??'  but i do,  because i thought maybe she just wanted come close and see it better because really who would not want to see that, right? especially since otherwise i am pretty sure all she could see were tiny feet sticking out, what with my mouth being so ferocious and wolfy big.

anyhow,  i dropped it, but she stayed where she was standing and she called me to come to her which i'm like, well, okay, duk duk's inside and none of the dopeys are out, so yeah, sure, let's go get dad bcuz i bet he will want to see it too.
 
so mom carries me to the front where dad was mowing the lawn and she blah blah blahs then dad blah blah blahs and then we all go back to admire it but dad gets the shovel and next thing i know and long story short, no bunny stew for dinner ...



 










...but yeppies.. (ptoo)... thank u, blinky,  for volunteering to help me with my reenactment and maybe now if u could just lie still on the plate i brought for just another minute,  just so everybuddy can get a feel for size, yes?  yes like, oh yes like that... now, where was i? oh i know! what happens a week later.... (to be continued) :)