a wolf, a falcon, and a crocodile :)

whoa, duk duk. whoda thunk mom would actually find us a present from korea that is as ferocious as we are. this is incredible.

and u say he is all ours, mom? and when he wakes up, he will not bite our toesies? cuz u know i have sensitive toesies. and duk duk, well he barely even tolerates my chomping on him and we are best friends.

mm-hmm. okay. i see your point. i mean, here i am a wolf and all and most of the time i control my ferociousness, too. except when i am hungry because seriously, hungry is as hungry does, right?

well, i am still really impressed u were able to get him in your suitcase without losing at least a pinky. thank u, mom. and do not worry, all our chores will be done by the time u get back from the grocery store. yeppies. okay we love u too and smell u later...

i cannot wait til he wakes up, can u, duk duk? i mean, just look at the size of his mouth. i bet u he has a million teeth in there. no, maybe eleventy jillion. and when he yawns, i bet we could probably fit my whole
head in there. or my plumpty rumpty even. or a whole falc-

-on. um, duk duk, can u please get me my iphoney so we can google how to make crocodile-proof body armor?

baxter and duk duk's day at the bazaar (part 3 - no bag necessary)

hmmm, well i am not sure that would leave us enough for the pedal ride home and they still are very blue and not pink like i want them..so i guess i am just gonna have to take them off and..what's that?

okay, two bags of gummy worms and throw in some orange flippy flops for my friend here and u have a deal, no bag necessary!

hee hee, wait'll everybuddy sees us in school this year, right, duk duk?? :)

baxter and duk duk's day at the bazaar (part 2 - and not a gummy more)

hee hee omg, duk duk, the way they fit, it is like these flippy flops were made for me!

u do not think they make my ankles look less ferocious, do they?

okay okay, do not get your feathers in a fluffle, duk duk. i was gonna do it already...okay, there. and still as comfy and awesome as ever. oh she's coming back...

miss market stall braavosi bazaar mom lady, me and duk duk will give u one bag of gummy worms for them and not a gummy more. :)

baxter and duk duk's day at the bazaar (part 1 - market pettiquette)

whoa, duk duk, those flippy flops are supercool!! but i bet if i show too much interest, she will ask a wing and a leg for them. and that's a lot of dark meat if i do say so myself. yeppies. besides i should really try them on. let me ask her.

miss market stall braavosi bazaar momlady, may my friend and i please try on this pair of really unimpressive flippy flops that probably will not even fit right and are an ugly blue color?

step five: watch your mom make your flippy flops and then oo and aw at them while the glue dries :)

mmm-hmm. mm-hmmm. oic. a skip tooth sawblade. not a flame throwe then. ok. ok. yes with an xacto blade and a drill bit - we would have done that wouldn't we have, duk duk? o, i see - a straw for the toesie part so the ribbon does not get smooshy weird. okay, yes, we would have done most all of that. except maybe for the part where we would have probably slightly burned a few feathers but seeing as how that would have been extra, it would have been a bonus step. like the way sometimes u get a bonus question on your test for extra credit and if u answer it right it makes up for the other questions u did not answer right bc u did not study really and otherwise u would have gotten a zero instead of a one. okay, okay, some stuff we forgot to take pictures of..and, that's it? hee hee, yay are we all done? well i mean except for the glue drying part?


may we see them, please, mom?

oooOOOOOOooooooooOOOOooo!

step four: if u get caught, think fast and deflect deflect deflect

hee hee, yeah, and maybe after, we can use it to carve our names on the unknowwhat by the uknowwhere. boy it is taking forever for that thingy 2 heat up. maybe i should go over and check on -

- uh-oh, i hear mom coming. if she finds out we will be grounded forever and not jusy til school starts again. quick turn off the thingy and help me get my safety gl--

oh hello mother. u smell nice today.
did u know we pooped and peed behind the sofa today? i will show u while duk duk stays here and does dukky things. and then maybe after, we can watch u finish our flippy flops? :) (ickqupoopay ukdpoopay ukdpoopay, eanclpoopay pupoopay ilewhpoopay ewpoopay reapoopay onegpoopay).

step three: try not to get caught by your mom using tools u r not allowed to use

hee hee, it may be overkill but finally, we are playing with fire!! well, a really hot cuttermajiggy anyway. or whatever that thingy is. just lemme get my fire goggles on and...

oh yes, dad. do not worry we have watched mom do it a million times. we are practically professionals.
okay, c u later.

hurry, duk duk, we need 2 finish this before mom gets home so we can show her how responsible we really are.

hee hee hee, okay, duk duk, it is time to ignite the flaming sword of poopsilon !...

step two: test your pattern for fit and make a master pattern

hmmmmmm....hmmmmm....hmmmmm..

yeppies, maybe a bit bigger all around so my ferociousness does not frighten the ground and nobuddy accidentally stomps on my toesies.

oh, and while we are at it, we should probably make it a little rounder and wider in the toe box, right, duk duk?

hee hee, okey dokey! now all we need to do is put in our ppe and cut the base out of our flippy floppy material!

but hmmm, this stuff is too thick for us to cut with the scissors mom normally lets us use. hmmmm...

hee hee, o yes, duk duk, i spy them too! r u thinking what i am thinking? let's ask dad. he's so busy he's bound to say yes without asking too many questions. :)

step one: u make a pattern

hee hee, yeppies if mom follows our specs carefully our new flippy flops are going to be so cool! just look at how ferocious my paw shapes turned out! okay okay, duk duk. after u help me do my hiney feet we will do yours next. what? oh right. let me ask her.

mom, may we have more tracing paper? enough for two wolf hiney feet and one set of falcon talons please :).

appyhpoopay nicornupoopay preciationappoopay aydpoopay :)

hee hee, yeppies, duk duk, i will miss them all too. but at least they are all going to very good homes and this way we can really focus on what's really important today and celebrate in style.

oh u r right. mom will be here any minute. i think we better call in the big guns if we are ever gonna get finished tearing down our booth so we can get to the store and spend all the money we earned on u know what for u know who today.  

hee hee, yeah i know he still has not figured it out. if it's not about princesses or rainbows or medieval cartography or interdimensional time travel, unicorns can be so clueless.  okay okay hang on he's finally here...

smello chocobot! i hope princess prettypink is recovering from her umpteenth bout with cooties. okay hey, lil pink puppy and lulu the tiger, clear the blast zone!


(bwoooop pinggg!)


oh yes, nice job chocobot. one of these days u r gonna need 2 remind me why that does not work in our heat cave or on any of the areas specified on our chores list. 

o i think i hear mom coming.  now remember, lil pink puppy, ixnpoopay outabpoopay ethpoopay
artyppoopay orfpoopay ocobotchpoopay ndapoopay eepkpoopay imhpoopay usybpoopay tilunpoopay ewpoopay etgpoopay ackbpoopay romfpoopay ichaelsmpoopay ithwpoopay apoopay arcpoopay ullfpoopay fopoopay itterglpoopay.

hee hee, okay mom,  me and duk duk are ready for u to take us to the nowhere special store now.  chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy are going to stay here and help wrap orders. :)

art of (wolf) war

hee hee nodukkie gets out of the ferocious wolf hold until he fesses up and admits to - pheeeeeeew! hey no fair, duk duk! u just released a class five stink defense on a class one offense position and u know what that means. some dukkie is gonna get a serious pound- oh hang on i think mom is calling...

oh yes mom, me and duk duk will work on our fart fair listings shortly. we just need 2 finish something first. :)

ps - in addition to our fine art at our f(ine)art fair, me and duk duk also hope to be offering a few more teeny weenie christmas trees so if u missed out or need to add more to your collection, stay tuned for the 10am est doot on friday :)

interview with an artist wolf and artist falcon

hee hee hee, well mom lady interviewer, that is a very good question. i think duk duk would agree with me in saying that we think that people will be pleasantly surprised by the delicate balance of richness and restraint we used and the vibrant subtlety of the work we created for our very first fine art fair. we want our work to challenge the viewer, yet also charm them, and sometimes secretly, sometimes not so secretly, take them to their happy place. to that end, me and duk duk focused primarily on four different themes for this show.

what's that? oh no i am sorry, to maintain the joys of surprise, we cannot specifically share theme specifics nor will we preview all our fartwork now, but i can tell you we hope the themes capture the essence of nostalgia and beauty through our use of carefully selected imagery, materials, and color. as conceived and imagined by a wolf and falcon, of course. next question?

yes, i can see how one might think that, but nopies, there may some sly references to it, but with this series of fartworks we also wanted to challenge ourselves and as such there is no direct depiction of it. visual metaphors maybe. but yes i can say with absolute certainty there is no literal depiction of poopie in our work for this show. besides, that is what cyber brown wednesday is for.

how many pieces for the fair? oh, um, hmm. i think maybe 13 or 14, right, duk duk? it really depends on if we can get the kind of bubble gum remover that wont eat thru canvas if u know what i mean. what?? no, mom, okay, i know u told us we could not chew bubble gum inside but taking away our wii for three weeks is hardly commensur- um, yeah okay okay, duk duk, i agree. can we please get back to the interview, professional lady miss interviewer?

okay, yes, we decided we really like the look and feel of small but chunky canvas so that is what we used as the base for most of our fair fartwork. and we finished the sides and put hangers on the back and everything so no additional framing is needed. our biggest piece is hmmm...8x8 inches and then smallest is 3x3 and most are a nice 1 3/4 inches deep. like i said, chunky. meaty, like my rumpty dumpty.

oh yes, a great last question. our summer pop up cyber fart fair starts this friday at 10:00 am est. only at kalyxcraftopia. thank you for interviewing us and we hope 2 smell u there bc we think you will really like it. oh and here is one of our supercool fartfair posters. :)

call it donezo :)

hee hee, yeppies, duk duk, i think they are turning out pretty good, too.

yeah i know! i mean, could we be any more geniuser with this project? here we are not having to ready any more of those kissy books, having fun making supercool fine art from stuff we have on hand, and when we finish, we can put it all in mom's etsy shop and host the kind of summer art fair even we can attend, because nobuddy overheats while shopping online like they would if they were outside shopping in all this danger heat.

yeah i cannot wait til we are donezo so we can work on our art fair poster. see that's another genius thing - i mean why more people do not call them fart fairs is beyond me. fine art. fart. bob's your uncle really. welcome to baxter and duk duk's summer donezo fart fair! date tbd.

oh ps do not tell mom but i am really glad she took us to the art museum last week. it was really quite inspiring, wasn't it? all the styles and textures and colors. all the details and sometimes lack thereof. i really think as a wolf and a falcon we have something original and awesome to say thru our art, dontchoo? okay okay enough talking more arting..

hee hee, hmmmmmmm. okay, wing me the red paint, will ya, duk duk? i think this one needs a red ballie and then we can call it donezo. :)

chesties with besties :)

hee hee, okay okay, duk duk. just let me post this to instygram and then we can ask mom if she will take us to see wonder woman again. :)

a study in pink

and now we break for a very special sponsored announcement :)

hee hee, yeah, duk duk, our tiny poopers turned out swell again this year - i am so glad mom let us off the hook for helping her make them so that we could focus on making the video for our back end marketing campaign. hee hee, if u know what i mean. oh hang on...

what's that, mom? oh yes we are about to do that now. we were just waiting it to load.

o is it ready, duk duk? okay lemme start...

ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our presentation of "the cootie" starring me,a wolf, and cassie, the cootie, to bring u this very special sponsored announcement, written and directed by a wolf and a falcon :). 

(okay duk duk hit the arrow 2 play...) :) 

time and relative stink in space

hee hee, see little miss julia? i told u, no matter how big u get, all of us will always fit because it's totally bigger on the inside. now make way and let a wolfie in. :)

specifically

um, well, mom, before we answer that, can u please tell us what u specifically mean by "smelly"? :)