hmmmm....
...hmmmmm...
...hmmmmmmm...
hmmmm...okay on the count of three we both pick our favorite. ready? one, two, three!
hey, we both picked the same one! but how could we not, really?sw7010. aka, white duck. hee hee, yeah, i like how they misspelled duk, too. makes it more pizazzy. and with this new paint on our bedroom walls, maybe when we go to bed a night, it will help us dream even more ferocious dreams. okay, should we tell mom?
mom, i think we have a winner. :)
...hee hee, say it!...duk duk, i said, say it! hee hee hee nopies, there is no way i could even be crushing your trachea because we both know for reasons i have already apologized for multiple times that u do not have one.
besides, that’s what u get for being best friends with a ferocious wolf. now, say it and i will let go, so say it already!! boy, for a one winged falcon u sure are strong... but luckily, i am stronger! so say...peeeeee-eeeeeee-eewwww. kaaack. kaaack. hee hee hee, okay u win. omg duk duk that was a doozy.
o hi mom. um, nothing really. we were just reading and..wait, what do u mean stop playing silly smelly games? we were just sitting here and suddenly out of nowhere this giant foofie cloud came up and...okay, fine. i said okay. pupscouts honor. have a nice time at the grocery store and we love you too bye.
hee hee, and that concludes another smellytastic meeting of the royal order of falcons. :)
well, we were just thinking, mom, that he probably really deserves it on account of all the eggs he takes without really asking. and then, when he gives them out, he gets all the credit when what did he do, really? i mean, he has all year to come up with something original that he can make himself and he has all year to come up with something fun to do but what does he do? every year he gives out chicken eggs he stole from, u guessed it, chickens, and every year if u r really not luckee, he makes u scary santa sit on his lap for pictures at the mall. only it is worse because u do not even get to ask him for presents or anything so u pretty much dressed up and stress pooped for nothing. not to mention the humiliation of the whole experience really - i mean, u probably do not understand that on account of not being natural born predator like me and duk duk, but trust me, wolves and falcons do not just sit on their prey’s lap if u know what i mean.
o, and the jelly beans that everyone thinks he poops? not even. chocobot says he poops pellets just like every other bunny cuz he saw him pooping at last easter’s invitation only tgiafter easter disco party. which he only started holding after he found out about our tgidiscofriday parties and u know he knows we know which is why he did not invite us.
so, anyway, i guess what me and duk duk are trying to say is, yes, we think it is perfectly fine to ask if u would help us rent a backhoe so we can finally dig a big enough hole to finally trap him and finally when we do, we finally can go rawwwr on him and finally that would be that. cuz ima wolf. and he’s a falcon. and rawwring is what we do. :)
we promise to read the letter first. now may we open it, mom ?
okay okay, i am going as fast as i can, stink butt. besides if some dukkie didn’t sit on my glasses we would not have this problem, would we?? alright now where was i? o yes...’and even though duk duk is a poopie butt, please enjoy this very special gift. love, miss debbi.’ oh looky and over here is a clue! ‘unlock the secret of the wizard, and seven special wishes will be granted.’
whoa, duk duk. a supercool magic wizard!! i wonder what his secret is...
hee hee hee. omg, duk duk, i am really impressed with how these turned out.
i mean, just look at them. and they are stickers, too. yeah, i think we should print at least eleventy gazillion more, too. this sprocket thingy is so cool.
uh-oh, i think i hear mom’s car!
(shuffle shuffle shuffle)
why hello, mom. looky - while u were gone we made u a sticker of us for your car so that way we are always with u even when we are not. can me and duk duk help u bring in the groceries? i am certain u must be tired. not that u look it or anything. u look fresh as a poopie snake. i mean, in a good fresh made sort of way. not like a poop mushie or anything.
wait, what’s that? take the sticker picture now? well, um....o i forgot , can u give duk duk a bath first? he really stinks because i think he stepped in uknowwhat and well, i know how u do not like us being stinky and all... :)
yes, mother, do not worry about a thing. we know it is only borrowed and we promise not to touch it in any way whatsoever until u get back from the grocery store. poops honor. okay, we love u, too. bye bye.
is she gone? hee hee hee, right? like, seriously, it’s a bluetooth device. why would we even need to touch it? okay, duk duk, u go get the tripod while i pair up and then we can get this party started...
kaaack! kaaaack! hee hee hee. fooowhee, even with my mask on that was a doozy and a half, duk duk. thank goodness we made sure fresh air is only a tent flap away. what’s that? o, yeppies, i totally agree. although even if we could get gjetost, i am not really sure there will be a next time because technically we promised mom that we would never play guess whose foofie inside the house again much less in the bedroom where we all sleep at night. hee hee, yeah, i guess we do make that promise every time. but seriously how could she expect us not to play after she made us this incredible blankie fort? it’s pretty much like she was telling us to play, right? i mean - uh-oh, i hear mom coming...
um, mom, before u lose consciousness from the overwhelming stench we just made, me and duk duk just wanted to tell u..whoops, there she goes. too late.
u know, u think she’d have learned by now to put her gas mask on before she starts looking for us.
well, mom, i mean, we were just wondering..
i mean since u did such a nice job with mine and all...and, well, on account of u not letting us stay home on seriously like the most contagious and cootieriffic of all days...
well, before we goto school today we were wondering if u could make duk duk some cootie protection too. :)
dear diary,
have u ever found yourself in the awkward position of being surrounded by cooties and having no way to escape them? have u ever wished u could always have protection from cootie infested uknowwhos who will never understand how to go stand over there, without having to constantly get more and more anti-cootie vaccinations? do your anti-cootie booster shots seem less effective lately? well, do not worry, my friends, because me and duk duk have got u covered with all the super cool cootie protection items that we have made for our first ever cootie protection cyber craft fair.
that’s right, just in time for valentine’s day, we will be dooting in very limited supply a variety of items we designed and helped mom make to help protect u from cooties, capitalizing not only on the protective powers of smell and fun..
but also the mystical powers of amulets, which we made in a variety of shapes so that they will be perfect for keeping in your pocket or putting around your neck. here u see one we will be making into a necklace.
anyhoo, i suppose i should get back to helping mom finish the amulets, so, i would like to close my saying i hope u r able to save the date and join us for our cootie protection cyber craft fair doot this tuesday the 6th at nine pm eastern standard time! :)
toodley-doo!
b :)
okay, now remember, duk duks, technically, u all are not supposed to be out at the same time, so it is very important that u stay out of sight unless it is your day to be out. which is why, when mom comes back from the library with duk duk monday and they pull in the driveway, i will go down to greet and distract them while you two sneak into the car and get the bag of potatoes that hopefully duk duk monday was able to secretly purchase from the convenience store next door. duk duk thursday and duk duk friday will meet u out back to help u hide the bag under the deck for now and then we will all regroup back in the heat cave to figure out how we can move the potatoes to the kitchen island without mom knowing so we can finally restart project putrescent. :)
what?? i am not too big. i just look puffy because i am wearing the down jackie mom got me. and beaide, some dukkie should thank his luckee stars its not filled with his feathers, thank you.
now make way make way, let a wolfie in. it's freezing out-
(kaaack) here. foo-whee! omg, people, decency much? i mean, serously. it smells like, like.. fermented cheese in there . (kaaack).
hee hee, everybuddy knows to make a stink really spectacular u need the nuanced notes produced by a ferocious carnivore's biome. now lemme in quick cuz i think this instant pot's about to blow. :)
okay, that one..o, maybe a million times. no wait, a million and one times.
hee hee, what's that, duk duk? oh yes, by apples in stereo. i will look that one up next.
oh no, not again! seriously why bother even making an app for something that may as well be easier and more reliable if u trained a monkey to do it using punch cards and an abacus.
now we have 2 start all over again.
boy, i sure hope santa appreciates how busy we been spending all this time trying to stay good. how many days is it til christmas again??
hee hee hee, ooOOOooooOooo! i smell blueberries and i smell strawberries and i smell carrots and i smell chicken and i smell duc- i mean, i smell watermelon..mom may i please open my eyes now?
oooOOOOOoooOOOOoooooOOOoo! it is even taller and deliciouser looking then i ever imagined! :)
well...i kind of see your point about the work and all, mom, but...well...
if santa brought us a manatee, we could name him hugh and it would totally be worth it, dontchoo think? :)
hee hee, okay mom, turn it on..
ooOoooOOOOoOooooooOooo!
thanks, mom! this is exactly what we wanted. now we just need to put a red ballie on top and it can dry while we are at school. and then, when we get home, we will make our masterpoop video and then we can post it this evening and everything! :)
do not worry, mom, we have it all figured out. here, let us show u. duk duk, u know what to do - wolf and falcon assemble!
hee hee hee - hey hey - no pokesies back there, duk duk, unless u wanna unleash the olfactory equivalent of poopnarok... again. hee hee, i know! i wonder what mon puts in the turkey brine. or maybe it was the sausage stuffing. and the sweet potatoes. all that fiber. its pretty much nature's gunpowder really, hee hee hee. what? oh, ok okay.
see mom? snug as a smooshed poopie snake in sneaker treads. no way we will get separated. now will u take us to the wally world so we can buy an eleventy hundred inch led ultra high def 4k hd tv for the heat cave?
(ps - do not forget about our own little cyber brown wednesday event! we have been busy behind the scenes with a very special makey for it. oh and we are not sure exactly when we will be dooting yet but maybe probably in the evening and hopefully that gives us time to preview a few things in either or monday or wednesday morningblog posty :) )
