while we are waiting for frenchy fries :)

blaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhghhhaaaaarrrggghggghghaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgg...

...gggggllllarrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhaaarrrrrrrrrrrrllllhaaarrrrrghh...

...uurrrrrrhhhhaaaarrrrggggggggggllllhhhaaaaaaaaaaaarrgghhhhhhluuuurrrrrgggggllllrrrrrr...

okay dad, guess it. 

hee hee nope. a drooly stinky snorey basset sleeping on his back! your turn! :) :)

woke up this morning

Our free 30 day trial of Amazon Prime ends very soon, which I suppose bodes well for all of us couch potatoes, save for one little dachshund who perhaps has become a little too enamored of a certain family drama that he won't be able to finish.

but mom, it's like this.  u pay the annual fee, and me and duk duk will make sure it is worth your while, capoops?  no poop strings attached or nuttin.  how can it get better than that? now do we got a deal or what? :)

the poopzillapranos

okay, in u go, tiny godzilla, my friend!!

hee hee, now remember, the deal is, when duk duk comes home from swimmies camp today and tries steal my gummy worms like he has been doing EV-ery day this summer, u jump out and scare the living badookies out of him. like, full on busted. take a picture and everything. and skype me when the deed is done using the ipoop mini i gave u.  which u can use by the way while u r waiting cuz it'll be a few hours. but keep the volume down will ya because duk duk's got spidey senses like a hawk, you got it?

now, any questions before we close the drawer?

no way, really?? bad enough to make your paint peel off? surely u must be exagg-

(sniff sniff sniff)

ka-zowee!! i wonder why..oh that's right, this used to be the curing drawer for me and duk duk's pooperoni stand.  which would have been a total success if the stink didn't get so bad that mom found out and made us take it all outside. and then of course it just had to rain and all our work went straight down the - 

 

okay okay, simmer down. u can have an extra kibble for the smell but u better get the job done and done right, capoops?

oh hello mom... how long have u been, oh u know, standing there?? :)

i can do anything :)

The unbridled optimism that every doxie seems to possess is one of the many traits that I find endearing.  Although their extruded little bodies and shortened stubby legs often leave them challenged under circumstances which would otherwise be easy for dogs of normal stature, our tiny wolves persist, resourcefully finding ways to get the job done as only a dachshund can.  Particularly, I suppose, when it comes to matters of filling their happy little rumbly tummies.

hee hee, mom, no need to check on me.  i was just going to, well, i was just going to u know..okay, well, mom, did u forget to give me this snackie because i smelled it all the way over from there and i saw that u were busy and i thought, well, rather than bothering u...well, i just thought i could, u know, parkour over and help myself.  :)

ridgeback

dear diary,
legend has it that i and others of my sausagey kind are of german descent,  but personally, i think i am at least part rhodesian. and direwolf. definitely ferocious land protecting direwolf.

toodleydoo!
b :)

nubbly nub nub

well dad, while I have got u here, and,  since I have been a good boy and all with my nails n everything, well, man to wolf, do u think me and duk duk could try learn 2 grill a steak with u this weekend? it is item number threeventy twelve on our list of #madskills we want to learn this summer. :)

booster seat please :) :)

I know there is an air of spoiled dachshund whenever people see the little kielbasa settled into his own blankie covered chair whenever we take him to lunch with us, but there is indeed a very practical side to this arrangement of cuteness.  Perched high enough for waiters and waitresses to coo at him, when he is in his own chair, he is also too high up to be hoovering up Cheerios and floor crumbs and ketchup spills, and he is too high up to be bothered by other dogs and their curious noses.  Which isn't to say he might still feel tempted to bark at them, but at least he is within easy reach to distract and refocus, so that the zen of lunch for everyone can be quickly restored.

There is hardly a downside at all for our little lunchtime chair arrangement, save for the times when it seems that our chairs are a little too short or the tables too tall, and some puppy is left adorably staring into granite. 

um, mom, can u please let me know when the waitress lady brings me my donut? :)  

happy dependence day

....now now now now now...take us take us take us to the candy store right nowwwww!

(crickets)

pleeeeeeeaaase? :)

two dollars and five cents :)

well, mom, if u let us borrow all of it,  with July fourth coming up and all,  well, me and duk duk thought we might could buy the super mega blast blammo rainbow firecracker dragon explosion expansion pack with bonus bottle rocket defender p-52 flash candles that we saw in the big white tent in the parking lot at Wally World. oh, and we could buy a box of sparklers, and a box of snap n pops, and maybe some silly streamers and skippy jacks too :)

seventh day

 

...and 

on the seventh day

 it rained 

snackies

 from heaven.

 :)

dapper doxie duds: the lion poops tonight

 do not worry mom, me and duk duk have got this so please, feel free to go outside and help henry gumption with all the yard work that still needs to be done. and, i bet u we will be done sooner than u can say peter pooper pooped a pile of poopy poopers! 

okay i love u too, bye mom. 

hee hee, my puppy friend frankie junior sure is tiny. i hope i can get this thing to stay on for more than just a few...

 

hwuuuuuuuuuuup! okay duk duk - hurry and take the picture before it..

(kasproingggg!)

 




..pops open. hee hee, oh well, i guess i am too big to fit frankie's super cool dud. now we will have to go to plan b.

(shuffle shuffle, shuffle shuffle, fweep foo fwobble!)






















beedy beedy beedy. i. am. frankie.  junior... puppy. robot. lion... take. me. to. your. pooper... beedy beedy beedy...duk. duk. i. think. we. are. done. here...beedy beedy beedy...how. about. we. play. another. game. now...beedy beedy beedy.

 

hee hee, last one to the creek is a rotten poopie snake! :) 

me, as tall as a labrador

wow duk duk, u r so right. I could totally see the bunnies better if I were as tall as a Labrador pooptriever! :)

my snackie shelf :)

how long do I plan on sitting here by the window watching out for kitties in our backyard? oh, I dunno. more than a little while I guess. why do u ask, mom? :)

still life

Sometimes there isn't much for a little kitty poop eating dachshund to do when he isn't allowed to roam unsupervised in his backyard while his mom and friend Henry Gumption do yard work on a hot hot day. And so he sleeps his afternoon peacefully away in breezy air conditioned comfort, til finally it is time for everyone to come back inside, and his happy little pack is whole again. :)

no more gruel please

Tiny chumley isn't normally a picky puppy when it comes to his meals, but spending a weekend with his kitty friends and tasting their delicious kitty kibble always seems to temporarily put his tongue at odds with his tummy when he gets back home.

mom, thanks for dinner and all but, well, i really do not think i can eat this.  are you sure sammy did not send us home with a bag of his super delicious ocean fresh teeny tiny kitty kibble kuts? :) :)

 

fountain of couth

ooooOOOOooOoOoooooo! thanks for showing me, sammy! when we get home me and duk duk are so gonna try that. :)

happy Father's Day weekend :)

give...dad...the...gift...of..frag..oh, duh, fragrance!  give dad the gift of fragrance. 

gee duk duk, we've been celebrating Father's Day every day and did not even know it. :) :)

get crafty: simplicity 1808 (doxie not included)

So, I'm a little bit blurry on how it all exactly happened, but I think the prequel goes something like this. Last summer, I started buying a few thrift store shirts to frankenstein into something new.  As summer turned to fall and fall into winter, the pile languished. Then this spring, somebody I know got a new sewing machine.  Then patterns started popping up on my pinterest feed from the somebody I know who got a new sewing machine, and I liked what I saw.  I started hearting. Then I created a make folder.  And then, I clicked. And then I fell, hook line and sinker down the makey rabbit hole, lured in by what is now the story of my life on things I find on Pinterest and elsewhere, a sewing pattern that had been discontinued. The Lisette Portfolio Dress/Tunic to be exact, Simplicity pattern number 2245.  Discontinued. The fact that it had been discontinued only made me want it more.  The little square detail and cute roundy neckline that's not on the new and improved version, the mid panel piece that made nice front pockets for carrying goodness knows what.   It would be so pretty in the linen I bought forever ago from the garment district in NYC.  Oh how could you be so cruel as to discontinue this pattern, shopping gods?  If I'dve only found you a couple years earlier, I would have been able to buy this pattern at Joann's for a dollar on a good sale day.  But now, if I wanted to make it and be part of the cool girls club, if I wanted to scratch that festering giant creative itch by getting the pattern off ebay,  it was gonna cost me a small fortune.  So, I better darn well get my people pattern sewing skills in order before I do that.  And that is where we begin this summer's ongoing crafty story, because, well, you may not be aware of it, but almost everything usually make and sew is done with my own intuition, my own newspaper drawn patterns, and my own sewing rules.  Taking the time to patiently interpret someone else's instructions and cut out precise pattern pieces, marking dots and making notches?  Uuuuuuugh.  Buckle up people, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Project number 1 on the Road to Lisette finished up a couple of weeks ago with a dress for little miss Sarah (Simplicity 1787).  Trust me, if they had this in an adult size, our story would have ended here cuz it's close enough to Lisette 2245 to make me happy. But they didn't. And I'm not sure this would linen up as well as the 2245.  And it seemed like a good idea to start with a kids dress anyway, because little miss sarah and her mostly still stick straight body would be much less of a challenge to fit than me.  Skills Improved: cutting and marking patterns, consistently sewing with a 5/8" seam allowance, following almost all the directions, setting in sleeves.

Today's project, Project number 2, was fueled by another Pinterest encounter from a post a person had made a year ago.  A giant schlumpy 2XL unisex souvenir T from madwilly's, henry gumption's and my trip to the beach,  transformed into something smaller and way more flattering with the help of Simplicity 1808, and some additional piece work. Yeah, I didn't realize until I was beyond the point of no return that tiny chumley and I would be coordinating twinsies if he ever wears his h r d puffnstuff dud when I wear this tee, so, there's that.  And even though I have a serger, I didn't use it so, no peeking on the inside.  But all in all, a superfudgeable keeper pattern with very happy results!  Skills addressed: transferring a pattern to freezer paper, working with knits, using a pattern sized to my high bust size rather than regular bust.  Skills regressed: following directions (I read zilcho and just made it the way I saw fit to make it).










Well, if you've read this far and you're still awake, congratulations, because I know this post is rather rambly.  And if you don't sew, you might also be feeling as tiny chumley has been feeling these past couple of days.  Waiting for something interesting to happen that involves a super cute little dachshund.   And I promise, tomorrow, we'll be back to regular monday wednesday friday cuteness programming.  Happy Thurday, friends! :)

b is for bored

mom, the little misses get to miss the last two days of school and get to go to funfun Princess spendy world and get to go to splooshy station USA and get to go to crazy captain karl's cartoony corner for kids, cats, and canines and that is all just in the first week of summer vacation.  

so..no, I do not think it would be too much trouble if u would take me and duk duk to the robot store after school today and to the movies and the swimmyquarium this week once school is out. :)

fruit of the day

these are no-i-cant-aloupes...

hee hee, but these...are yes-i-can-aloupes! :)