Friday, October 3, 2014

the third sense, another short story by baxter and duk duk, as told from the perspective of the tiny red cabin in the woods, still in lieu of our thirty page essay on the pros and cons of a spice based universe economy, that were were supposed to write for writing class , only now it is sixty pages because of the story we turned in yesterday







The tiny red cabin in the woods was relieved that its inhabitants had decided to go in to town for the evening.  Restless people are not very relaxing, and nothing irked the cabin more than having people inside it who did not appreciate the solitude that it offered. Now that they were gone, the little cabin could relax and go back to its happy go lucky, cabiny ways.








 And yet, a strange sense of foreboding still haunted the cabin.  It had survived many rough winters in the woods, put up with noisy little children and snoring adults and even survived a freak rainshower of poopie snakes mixed with monkey chow.  But something about this foreboding feeling was different. A warm wind blew in from behind, bringing with it a piquant stink of curious and exceptionally malodorous quality and consistency, accompanied by a low, almost imperceptible gurgling noise. 


Hmmmmmmmm, the tiny red cabin in the woods thought, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....



O bother, the little cabin decided. I see no need to worry about things I can only smell and hear and cannot see.  I have stood here for many years now. And I will stand for many more. :)






Wednesday, October 1, 2014

the tiny red cabin in the woods, a short story by baxter and duk duk, in lieu of a thirty page essay on the pros and cons of a spice based universe economy, that we were supposed to write for writing class


The ferocious monster paused to watch from a distance as smoke billowed from the chimney that sat atop the tiny red cabin in the woods. There would be plenty of time to stomp the cabin to the ground, the monster thought to himself as he settled down onto the cool soft mossy ground.  He stretched out in the open and let out a big yawn, no longer worried about being seen by the cabin's inhabitants as he had only minutes ago watched them drive off to town, probably in search of more video games to play or movies to watch because really what else interesting can you do in a tiny red cabin in the woods while you are waiting for your dinner to cook over a fire you made with sticks you collected because there was nothing else to do, especially since there were no video games to play or movies to watch .

Normally the ferocious monster would have stomped on the cabin by now, but he knew that if he waited long enough, dinner would be ready, and rabbit stew tasted delicious regardless of how stomped it had gotten. He sniffed at the smoke as it wafted in his direction.  Eleventy, no, three o'ninesies more minutes to go.

Monsters usually stomp alone. It's more fun that way to have the whole cabin or town yourself to stomp because then you can look back and see all that you did yourself, he thought.  But as his tummy started to growl, the ferocious monster realized that this stomping would have been a lot more fun if his he had invited his friend, Dukalodon, to join him.  Not to eat him, but so he could play with him.  And then maybe eat him. Or at least try to. After he stomped the cabin and ate the rabbit stew.  :)



(hee hee, i hope u enjoyed our story and yep mom got me a super cool new monster hat from Michaels, modified by mom for ear holes :) )

Monday, September 29, 2014

mission impoopable


okay Cassie, remember this was not my idea and I only agreed to do it because your dad cannot walk u on account your mom is away visiting your grandypops and your furless sister little miss Sarah still has a super bad case of poison ivy. so my dad is walking u while my mom walks me. only u have to stay over there and walk behind me because even though technically u are still a puppy, I can already tell the cooties are coming in and me no needy that, what with poopie con only two weeks away.   

oh, and one more thing. do NOT even try to herd me from back there, got me?  my swirlies will see if u get too close and I've got a p-eeeew locked and loaded and ready to stink u up, capoops? and hey hurry it up already because the faster we walk, the faster we will get to bunny meadow and already I am worried that we might not get there before they all go back in there burrows for their mid morning naps and then there will be nothing to chase and it will all be your stinky fault for not walking faster. okay, not that there should be any after all that, but, u got any questions? 


say what?? sheesh Cassie, your dad said u did it twice already before we came and got u. we can't just stop cuz u gotta..I mean, who even does that? all poops should be safely deposited in a pup's  own backyard to preserve shape and stink integrity. that's puppy 101!  I have never pooped on my walkie. every poopie is precious. your poopie snake collection must be a sham-



okay fine. u do what u need to do but u are no longer part of this mission. me and mom will wait with u until u r done and then move on to finish mission while u and dad go back home that way. just follow the bend in the trail and be sure to stay clear of the foofie trap I set over by that tree. I laid it pretty low to try and pay back that big dog that barked at us. but since it is not very windy today, I bet by the time u pass it, the stink will still assault your nose pretty good. anyway, like I said me and mom are gonna keep walking to bunny meadow cuz there should be at least one bunny to chase and I have not chased one in forev-



oh Cassie, right there by the side of the walkway? mom do not even try to take a picture. that's like, so uncouth- wait, phoo-wee! is that as big as I think it is? Cassie that is massive. I mean, that snake is like, as much as I make in a day. only, massiver. impressively massiver. museum quality massiver! oo thanks dad. how did u know I was going to ask if u could bag that up for...hey hey, where are you going? hey wait up for me, wontchoo guys? that bag's for me dad, yes? we are all going home now, right? yeah let's go home. u lead, Cassie, and I will follow u. :)


Friday, September 26, 2014

s is for snackie head


...eighteen, nineteen, twenty threeve, two hundred, fliventy-six, sixenty-twelve, three o ninesies...um, mom? r u still there? can i let go now?? :) :)


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

video cuteness: cash n carry

dear diary,
even though it is superfun for me and duk duk to take my pedal car and pedal to the pet store ourselves, sometimes i think it is also very nice to go to the pet store with mom and dad, mostly because when me and duk duk go, we eat all our gummy worms on the way over and by the time we get there, we can never afford anything. and when me and mom and dad go like we did the other day, they give me cash so i can buy a bag of snackies and then i carry it to the car all by myself.






anyhoo, i must go now so i can ask mom if she will make me a pair of cargo pants that i can wear to school that has extra extra big pockets. that way, well, let's just say some movies have the best ideas. toodleydoo! b. :)

Monday, September 22, 2014

mega movie tease monday: little gladiators


dear diary,
this past weekend i went to my puppy friend hank's house and something tells me once he settles down a little more on the chompy chomp, he and i will be very good friends.  how do i know? well, because he and i are already planning to make our first feature film together.  u know, something that will feature lots and lots of action and probably gladiators and lions and u know, stuff like that.


in fact, we went ahead and made a demo trailer.  it's a little rough and the trailer ends abruptly,  but as Poop T Barnum said, always leave them wanting more.  

toodleydoo!
b. :)


Friday, September 19, 2014

tiny video friday: always end on a soft note :)

dear diary,
a couple days ago i saw a video shared by hank's mom of a puppy learning to ding a ding bell and i thought, gee, puppies are such suckers. but then my mom saw it and next thing i know, i am taking piano lessons during my lunchy lunch training time.

my first lesson was actually pretty fun. not only are the snackies plentiful, but i am learning a thing or two. like, well, if u extend your toes it dampens the sound, and well, it is very soothing to end a song in a soft note. so i think i will try to always end on a soft note, at least for now because i guess i will be doing this for a while and if i think too much about how i might be missing out on lunchy lunch toyfriend club, i'll just get - well, u know. and besides maybe one day me and hank can play a duet together because i hear he is a fast learner.  anyhoo, one day, i hope i can play my whole song i wrote for u yesterday in one take, but for now i spliced together my song into a twenty second video and if u have twenty seconds to spare,  i hope u like it very much. especially the part where i end on a soft note.

toodleydoo!
b. :)


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

the short way round








hmmmm, ancient dachshund dog bowl dog puzzle, eh? try to get the snackies out of the incredibly tiny triangle hole, eh? 

hmmm...hmmmmm...

hee hee, well, u know what they say..
 
 where there is a will...






 





...there is a way around!! :)
 
 




Monday, September 15, 2014

partners in rhyme


I like sitting in my dad's lap 
because it is comfy and warm like a hot monkey chow drink 
and sometimes, 
when one of us makes a foofie stink,
we will point the finger of blame at each other,
and mom does not know what to think.

-baxter, 7.75 years old, enjoying time with his dad on a Saturday afternoon :) 



Friday, September 12, 2014

note to self: cherry tomato plants

There are several things I should try to remember when it comes to planning tiny chumley's cherry tomato garden next year.  Six plants are overkill. Four plants are plenty. Okay, five maybe, if I factor in bird and bunny theft. Christmas icicle tinsel, by the way, might have actually helped deter some birds this year so be sure to get a pack for a quarter when the thrift store holds their Christmas in July sale and drape them randomly on the cages.  Grape tomatoes are out, mostly because in all the years we have grown them, they never seem as tasty as the rounds. And through no fault of their own, yellow tomatoes are out, because I can never consistently pick them when they are ripe, nor do I have the gumption or interest in figuring that sort of thing out. Plus yellow tomatoes on a salad really don't look that great unless there are some red ones on there too. But I digress. 

The last and probably most important thing I should remember about tiny chumley and his tasty tiny tomato garden isn't really about the tomato plants, but about the window I thought was open just barely enough for sniffs and cuteness. And about a certain little determined doxie who happens to have a surprisingly stretchy extendo giraffe neck.

hee hee, mom are you trying to say remember to open the window wider next time because I am pretty sure I could eat even more tomatoes that way and that would be a win-win for both of us. and by us, I mean my tummy and me. just in case u were wondering. :) :) 



Wednesday, September 10, 2014

the black duk

well duk duk, with ten minutes to spare before we have to pedal to scopl, I guess we should really get started on last night's ecology reading assignment, dontchoo think? let's see what we have here. oh, it's "the black duck..."


"wariest of our waterfowl.."




moooom, are u sure today is a school day?? :)




Monday, September 8, 2014

hiney hole


well, okay mom, since we are still developing the pattern and this is only practice fabric, u can take a couple of pictures so we can study them for fit and make adjustments but remember, mum's the word because my Halloween costume is top secret and even though he thinks he knows what it is, not even duk duk knows what it really is. capoops? 



so, okay, I was thinking now that the front half looks pretty good, maybe we can focus on my back end because I think the hiney hole could be just a little bit bigger, dontchoo? but not so big that it would collect leaves and junk when we go trick or treating because that would be really scratchy. oh and not too small just in case I need to make a know whattie snake. :)



Friday, September 5, 2014

que blah blah, blah blah


gee, duk duk,  that's a good question. i am not sure what that would look like...


(gnnagghhngggnhaaanggghanggganhng!)


yeah...maybe something like that :) :)



Wednesday, September 3, 2014

ready..set..



dear diary,
hooray! today me, duk duk, chocobot, lulu the tiger, and lil pink puppy all have special permission to stay home from school because guess what - we are going to help mom load a fresh new litter of teeny tiny doxie treasure boxes to etsy! and this time, not only is it a double litter of sixteen boxes total, but some are nakey nakey, and some wear bowties,  and some wear flowers,  and some are even playing with a supercool ballie this time!  yup, i know, it is very exciting, isn't it? i cannot wait to help them find new forever homes!

anyhoo, me and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy have not yet decided on how we post the listings but if i have my way, we will be posting eight as we finish them during the day and then save the last eight for posting all at once at 8pm EST. or something like that.  it really depends on how much gumption we have, and we will try to sound the doot doot dooty doots via our instagram and facebook and twitter as best we can.


well diary, i best get on with my morning paw stretches because already i can tell i have a lot of typing ahead of me.  i hope u have a wondeful day!!

toodley-doo!
b. :)

PS - the boxes all usually show up in a special section of my shop but I cannot provide you the link yet because nothing is in the section yet!  so here is a link my shop just so u have it :)  ---> https://www.etsy.com/shop/kalyxcraftopia
 








Monday, September 1, 2014

my new friend hank :)

dear diary,
today i finally got to meet lulu's mom's new puppy and my new doxie puppy friend, hank! hank is now twelve weeks old and weighs five pounds and needless to say he is a real squeebert and neither of us could stay still long enough for pictures, so i decided to show you some videos from our first brunchmas playdate, which i figured u might want to see again and again and again so i posted them as viney videos.  all in all we had a lot of fun and the little misses came over and held him and everything! next time we visit together i think i will ask mom if she will make me a shark proof body suit because, well, let's just say that puppy teeth? well they are a whole lot sharper than u would think they are. especially when they are latched on to u like a crab on a finger, or in my case, a puppy on your neck meat.

anyhoo shark suit or not, i sure hope me and hank can get together and play again soon.  i have not yet seen his poopie snakes although mom says they are little peanuts, which would be a nice addition to our collection. 

happy labor day monday and toodleydoo!
b. :)


Sunday, August 31, 2014

brunchmas morning :)

good morning morning world! just a few more minutes in bed please and then I will get up and start making brunchy brunch. :)


Friday, August 29, 2014

little buddies

 






















hee hee, oooo - didjoo smell that, duk duk? i think that was cassie's - no wait, the wind is coming from the north...top notes of  (sniff sniff) turkey and rice...eleven..no, make that seventeen weeks old at least...delightfully rancid (sniff sniff)  in a blue cheesy way.. and, i detect a slight trace of slobber.  aged stinky basset neighbor poop. definitely stinky basset neighbor poop. :)  

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

floats like a meatloaf

Taking tiny chumley for a swim is something I would like to do with him before he gets too old and bony and easily chilled for that sort of thing.  I'd love to see him paddle around like a sentient meatloaf, his body bobbing gently as his four little legs take turns paddling him around and around and around.  His head, I imagine, would be held just high enough out of water to act as his visual rudder, being the first to point in the direction he would like to go, and patiently putting up with the waves lapping at his face while it waits for the rest of his body to float in line.


Swimming was the furthest thing from my mind when the little kielbasa and I ventured out into our backyard yesterday afternoon.  Short changed of a full lunchy lunch training experience because I was consumed with makey, Baxter took full advantage of my guilt and merrily bolted off, sniffing out every nook and cranny of his yard before deciding to get down to the serious business of digging.  And digging he did, for minutes on end while I said hello and chatted with the little misses' mom by the fence.  By the time she and I were done, every inch of tiny chumley was happily covered in dirt.

I picked up Baxter and took him over to our latest lazy iteration on a paw washing station, our giant almost chumley sized salvaged-metal-fire-pit-bowl-turned-extremely-ginormous birdbath, left on the ground while it awaits a thrift store score base of some sort.  Recent rains had filled the bath to the brim, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by my little friend as I started to lower him into it.

I had expected a bit of random rebellious wiener wiggle, but surprisingly, as his body got closer and closer to the water, his little legs started to move in slow but regular fashion.

Right front paw out and under, left front paw out and under, right back paw out and under, left back paw out and under.  Right front paw out and under, left front paw out and -

Did he just...was he doing a pre-paddle?  I had seen a video of Baxter's friend Molly do it, but Baxter as far as I knew has never even been for a swim.

I pulled him back up and started lowering him again, even more slowly this time with chest and body supported and legs free. My eyes were fixed on him. Baxter's eyes were fixed on the water.

Right front paw out and under, left front paw out and under, right back paw out and under, left back paw out and under.

It would turn out that the water in the birdbath still wasn't deep enough for Baxter to even float, but I love how his little swimmy instincts seemingly kicked in. Tired from all the digging and paws freshly washed, we returned to our sunny spots in my studio, both of us dreaming of the swims yet to come. :)

 





Monday, August 25, 2014

back to school :)


















hee hee, look everybuddy! there goes the school bus!!























i sure am glad we pooled the last of our summer gummy worms to buy a parking pass.  i usually do not look forward to the first day of school, but today is a whole different story now that we can pedal to school every day ourselves!

what's that, lulu the tiger? 

oh yeah, i guess it is time to get this show on the road. commencing pre-pedal checklist ops number 3758delta9ner for the inaugural mission of pedalcraft HMP JamiahBunnyCakesPootenpenny!

okay everbuddy just like we rehearsed...








  
 

 




duk duk, homemade locker stink pucks?

lil pink puppy, thermoses?

lulu the tiger, lunchy lunch boxes?

chocobot, pencils and notebook paper?



okay houston, i think we are a go...everyone hold tight and get ready to pedal off in 

three...two...one...blast o-


















..um, houston, could somebuddy open the door please? :) :)













Friday, August 22, 2014

sushi me :)


I like chicken, I like rice,
I Iike carrots, thinly sliced.
Squeeze them smoosh them, stack them high,
You make sushi, I'll bring pie!!! :)

- Baxter, 7.7 years old, writing the poetic praises of his special snackie treat of the week :)