hinies and fronties

The grainy light of dawn can be a magical time for things to happen.  Especially for happy go lucky little wolves and the dads who love them. :)

hee hee hee. hee hee hee - o looky, we did it, dad! we did it! duk duk did not think i could do it because my legs are too shorty short but looky! i am totally touching my hiney toes with my fronty toes. :)

spanglish 101:

I will cornshark

  cornsharkaré

 

I am cornsharking
  
estoy cornsharkando

I cornsharked :)  

yo cornsharké :)

agent brown part 2

...and that's my robot chip! i have had it forever now, but it is nice to see it finally in person. the robot chip is pretty much the reason why i am transforming into a wolf but the process still takes a lot of time because the chip works with my body at a subcellular level.

anyhow, u guys wanna see the best part of the bioscan that the   
 multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction took of me before i destroyed it?  here, lemme swipe it to the updated graphic i made to take to school today for show n tell.














okay, so, as u might imagine, this scan was being performed just moments before i released the agent brown, and what the robot saw, and what the special doctor mister tushie man ended up seeing, and what i already could feel was..well, i think u can see why the robot singled me out from all those big dopey dogs. cuz, well aside from being perfectly ok and ready for anesthesia should i ever need it for the MRI when the special doctor mister tushie man really thinks i should get it which is not right now...well let's just say we finally have proof positive of what u know i know we all know we know and what we all can now see here...

that's right, there it is my friends, my no-longer-secret agent brown reserve, aka the mega poopie snake. master of olfactory disaster. u can run and u can hide, but u cannot escape, when i let it slide...

hee hee hee! anyhow, the special doctor mister tushie man pretty much admired how big my agent brown reserve was, and dad was like, "yeah he wouldn't poopies before we brought him" and i was like, "yeah dad, u know why now and u can thank me later with a trip to the chikky fila. saved the universe, yo" and then for some reason dad said i was not allowed to watch breaking bad anymore.  but anyway, so, yeah.  now we just wait and see and hope my neck doesn't flare up or at least if it does then we know we will go ahead with my MRI and then really see if i might need surgery or something. and in the meanwhile i will keep seeing doctor miss erin for my laser therapy and if i can ever calm my inner wolf we will also get me some more massages. oooh - i think i hear the bus coming! time to go!! :) :)

agent brown

and so i was like, "heck no, mom, it's a trap. i'll stay right here with u and dad, thank u very much."

what's that, lulu the tiger? it's okay, yeah, u guys can come closer and look.  and smell if u want. it does not really hurt anymore. lessee, where was i?

 








...oh,  so even though i turned my electromagnets on, the special doctor tushie man still managed to take me to the back, right? and that's where i see it. but nobuddy else does and i'm like, "uh, hello, anybuddy else see the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction? anybuddy??" nopies.  crickets. and a bunch of big noisy dopey dogs being dopey and a cat. well i think it was a cat. i never saw it, only smelled it.  but i am pretty sure it was a cat cuz it smelled like cheezy fish breath and raspberry lip gloss from all the kissy kissies they get on their head.



















anyhow, so i'm thinking, great, surrounded by dopey big dogs who are too dopey to do anything, and me without our emergency backpack. u know the one, that we packed with our mini travel trebuchet and my long bow and at least three different types of light sabers plus enough ammo and arrows and dragon glass to fight off at least two hoards of zombies and seven battalions of white walkers and orcs.  and probably one multimaster robomegamonster of doom and destruction probably, but i will never know because mom would not let me bring it. "too heavy for my back," she said...

..which makes me wonder... maybe next time, well if there is a next time i go to the special doctor mister tushie man because he did say i seem to be doing well enough that we could delay my MRI at least until we see what happens next time i have an incident...so, maybe next time i have to see him, which hopefully is maybe like, never from now, well hopefully maybe mom will let me bring my weapons backpack if we tie it to the hood of the pedal car and then we tie the pedal car to mom's car so we can tow it... 


























what's that chocobot?  oh yes, right. so, at that point i'm like, "sheesh, swell mom.  dragged back here and left on my own, staring into the face of the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction.  swell.  thanks for making me leave all my weapons at home, mom and dad. thanks a lot. "

and then, before i could even think another word, the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction shot at me with his inviso ray eyes, then it poked me with a needle. not once but twice and it even drew blood! by that point i only had my wolfy instincts to rely on, but the robot was so close and angled in such a way that i knew my ferocious fangs were not really going to be very effective.  so i did it.   i was really hoping to save it too because i could feel it was going to be a doozy, but i had to do it. there was nothing else left i could do.  i released the agent brown...if u know what i mean. 

yeah, lil pink puppy.  the robot pretty much dissolved immediately really.  then the techs came back and found me they were like, "yo dude what's that smell and what happened 2 you, ferocious wolf? " and i just said, "u would not believe me if i tried, my friend." so they wrapped me up and took me back out to mom and dad  and we went home and here i am. 

well, hee hee, okay, they also gave me the picture the robot took of me before agent brown came to town, if u know what i mean. i cannot wait to show u guys. let me get it and i will tell u what else the special doctor mister tushie man told me... (to be continued :) )

agent brown part one

and so i was like, "heck no, mom, it's a trap. i'll stay right here with u and dad, thank u very much."

what's that, lulu the tiger? it's okay, yeah, u guys can come closer and look.  and smell if u want. it does not really hurt anymore. lessee, where was i?

 








...oh,  so even though i turned my electromagnets on, the special doctor tushie man still managed to take me to the back, right? and that's where i see it. but nobuddy else does and i'm like, "uh, hello, anybuddy else see the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction? anybuddy??" nopies.  crickets. and a bunch of big noisy dopey dogs being dopey and a cat. well i think it was a cat. i never saw it, only smelled it.  but i am pretty sure it was a cat cuz it smelled like cheezy fish breath and raspberry lip gloss from all the kissy kissies they get on their head.



















anyhow, so i'm thinking, great, surrounded by dopey big dogs who are too dopey to do anything, and me without our emergency backpack. u know the one, that we packed with our mini travel trebuchet and my long bow and at least three different types of light sabers plus enough ammo and arrows and dragon glass to fight off at least two hoards of zombies and seven battalions of white walkers and orcs.  and probably one multimaster robomegamonster of doom and destruction probably, but i will never know because mom would not let me bring it. "too heavy for my back," she said...

..which makes me wonder... maybe next time, well if there is a next time i go to the special doctor mister tushie man because he did say i seem to be doing well enough that we could delay my MRI at least until we see what happens next time i have an incident...so, maybe next time i have to see him, which hopefully is maybe like, never from now, well hopefully maybe mom will let me bring my weapons backpack if we tie it to the hood of the pedal car and then we tie the pedal car to mom's car so we can tow it... 


























what's that chocobot?  oh yes, right. so, at that point i'm like, "sheesh, swell mom.  dragged back here and left on my own, staring into the face of the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction.  swell.  thanks for making me leave all my weapons at home, mom and dad. thanks a lot. "

and then, before i could even think another word, the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction shot at me with his inviso ray eyes, then it poked me with a needle. not once but twice and it even drew blood! by that point i only had my wolfy instincts to rely on, but the robot was so close and angled in such a way that i knew my ferocious fangs were not really going to be very effective.  so i did it.   i was really hoping to save it too because i could feel it was going to be a doozy, but i had to do it. there was nothing else left i could do.  i released the agent brown...if u know what i mean. 

yeah, lil pink puppy.  the robot pretty much dissolved immediately really.  then the techs came back and found me they were like, "yo dude what's that smell and what happened 2 you, ferocious wolf? " and i just said, "u would not believe me if i tried, my friend." so they wrapped me up and took me back out to mom and dad  and we went home and here i am. 

well, hee hee, okay, they also gave me the picture the robot took of me before agent brown came to town, if u know what i mean. i cannot wait to show u guys. let me get it and i will tell u what else the special doctor mister tushie man told me... (to be continued :) )

jiffy pup

unkie d, i am still waiting here like u told me to but remember, if u need any help at all, just say the word and I can be there in a jiffy:) 

news worth sharing :)

mom...

hey mom...

mooom!

i just pooped a churro :)

thank u miss Debbi

the hmmmm. left eye. right eye. left eye. right eye. both eyes...left eye. right eye...left eye... 

yeppies dukduk, even though the dizzy is kind of nice, I think maybe for now I should just put my old ones on so we can read the letter miss Debbi included with our lovely package. 

oh yes I can see one hundred and threeventy nine percent better now. left eye. right eye. left eye. both eyes. yup totally better. okay, where were we?

dear Baxter and family....mm-hmm, o I see, mm-hmm mm-hmm, love miss Debbi! oh how swell - that was really really nice of miss Debbi to send us these super cool goodies. my neck feels better already. doesn't yours duk duk? 

well okay be that way. but u know I know u know I know u know whose fault that was and u know what they say about wolves and full moons anyway. it is not my fault u did not get the memo. 

what's that? oh yeah we should totally ask her...

mooom - if we promise to write miss Debbi a thank u note tonitey nite after we finish our chores, may we please go ahead and play with the cards and eat the snackies she sent us? :) 

20/20

hmmmm..hmmmm...well, I guess I can give them a try...but...well, I am not really sure I need new glasses for school, mom. I mean, my old ones are perfectly fine. and maybe I might need stronger ones for seeing duk duk's butt more clearly from across the classroom in case new teacher sees old teacher's email recommending that we be seated separately. but we pretty much took care of that already when chocobot helped us hack into - I mean, when chocobot helped us track down the reference books we needed for our special summer studies projects report. 

um, so yeah, ooo looky is that a bumblebee I see hovering on that flower way over there? yeppies these new glasses are swell mom :)

it is going to be such a doozy:)

hee hee, okay that's a wrap everybuddy!   I am so glad mom convinced us to work on our 2017 calendar now, aren'tchoo duk duk? it is going to be such a doozy!! :) #comingprobablyinoctober #onlyatkalyxcraftopia #staytuned

oh nothing really

why am I rubbing my paws together? oh nothing really, mom. and me and little duk duk were certainly not planning anything that may or may not involve poopie snakes if that is what u were wondering :) 

choo choo! choo choo!

okay, dad, only because we are going for a longer walkie,  I will go with u n mom in this thing but we have to do it exactly as we agreed, okay? okay.

hee hee hee, intitiate undocking protocol  alpha wolf falcon bravo. turn starboard left at impulse speed. 

on my mark, engage warp thrusters in three, two, one...blast off!!

hee hee hee, faster dad, faster! choo choo! choo choo! all aboard the poopiestar zippy express! choo choo!! :)

a fist full of gummy worms: how to recover a saddle chair in pictures,plus not enough words to really help with that so good luck but key is to hem your edges such that you can run fishing wire thru and pull things tight like a shower cap then u staple carefully

There are some who might think the biggest challenge of recovering a three dollar saddle chair scored from the thrift store is developing a pattern, or redrawing the pattern with completely new seam lines, or picking the right fabric and cutting fit models. Or finding an extra set of grabby hands to help with fitting and futzing and stapling until everything is smooth and taut and ready to begin its useful life anew.  

But there are those of us graced with the joy of living with sausagey boys and girls who know that the biggest challenge of them all, of doing any project really, is trying to do all of that, with a curious and helpful little wolf planted firmly on your lap :) 

oooo recover a saddle chair? no problemo, mom. just hand me the sharpie and some scissors and I promise me and duk duk will have your pattern drawn up in a jiffy. and for just a few gummy worms more, we can not only recover the chair for u but also machine embroider any monogram u would like, so long as your monogram is four letters long and uses the letters p and o. and o and p. :)  

and seriously, we have only just met

...uh huh. uh huh. oh, i see. so u mean like a jelly donut that's oozing jelly, right? only instead of oozing all over the table, the jelly is kind of oozing on my spinal cord and that can press on my nerves and that is what is causing my pain probably. and there is no peanut butter involved at all, right?..no peanut butter...but a lot of pain...okay. yes, i see, special mister doctor tushie man.  thank u for drawing it for me that was very helpful...






 

 



and...u r sure my diagnosis has nothing 2 do with my not wanting to take a snackie from u, right?  because honestly it smelled delicious but when i was little, my mom taught me not to take snackies from strangers and seriously, we have only just met...

...and, that whole thing where i was too distracted to listen to mom when u wanted to see how far i would move my head so u asked for my leash and i turned on my super duper deluxe  nobuddys-taking-me- anywhere electromagnets? u did not take that personally, right? like, that has nothing to do with what u r saying either, right special mister doctor tushie man? 

..mm-hmm. okay i see...










 

 

 

 

and...so, we will schedule my preanesthesia x-ray and blood work in a few weeks to make sure i can have the MRI so we can see what's what and really decide from there what to do. and in the meanwhile,  i can probably still go to school when it starts, and i can go for simple walkies around the block and stuff like that.  just no running, or jumping, or toyfriend club, or any general displays of ferocious wolfiness of any sort...

 

 well...yeah.... i guess that all sounds doable...

 

 except..maybe, well...

 if i catch duk duk stealing my gummy worms again, am i at least allowed to pound him a little bit?

 

sun day

Sunday came a little earlier in our world this week :) 

wolfy gate

Even when they served only to keep a little wolf from trundling up the stairs by himself, the golden gates of tiny chumley's xpen jail have always been a source of ear pasted back on his head displeasure. Clanky, and in his mind a rickety disaster waiting to fall on him, the taller than necessary golden gates also became a source of displeasure for me and my less than able, still unfreezing shoulder. Something about tiny chumley's jail time needed to change if we were to both survive this ordeal. 

Some wire grid cube shelving panels from the reuse store seemed like a good option to help a little wolf out. A few zip ties later, the little kielbasa's new enclosure is just tall enough to keep him secure, but no so tall that either of us live in fear of hurting ourselves one way or another. And, it seems, it is the perfect height for a little wolf to poke his head over the top and slather on the guilt trip that is my daily penance for keeping him so confined. 

hey mom, this new gate thingy is really nice cuz u can pet my head n stuff and it is easier to lift me out and I like how I can see over it okay, but, u do know I am not getting any younger, right? a wolf needs to run and play and well, u know, do wolfy things with his best friend falcon :)

one tomato, two tomato :)

ooooOOOooOooOoOooo! I spy one tomato, two tomatoes, three tomatoes four,

 five tomatoes, six tomatoes, seven tomatoes more! :) 

pirate quality assurance

..hee hee, okay duk duk take your time getting the shipping box from the garage because this pirate's gotta arrrrrr! arrrrrr! arrrrrrr! arrrrrrr! arrr-

oh why, hello, mother.  yes, do not worry me and duk duk promise to pack and ship this special order puppy pirate hat out today. I was just testing it to make sure the puppy could still wear it even when he is full grown.  see? it may not be as big as our regular sized hat, but it is still equally adorable, dontchoo think, mom?  :) 

(psst - if you are interested in getting an adorable pirate hat for your tiny tennis ball sized noggin wolf, tiny chumley and  I made two extra and they can be found in the shop in the links below)
 https://www.etsy.com/listing/457904104/pirate-hat-for-tiny-heads-numero-uno
 https://www.etsy.com/listing/471395937/pirate-hat-for-tiny-heads-numero-tres

cheese that does not smell like cheese :)

When I was little, I remember some of the best souvenirs I would ever receive were the tiny wrapped bars of airline soaps my aunts give me from their flights to goodness knows where.  So tiny and magical, even normal sized bars of soap were always something I would squirrel away, much for some of the same reasons I now realize that poopie snakes are so precious to tiny chumley. From its lovely smell and often awesome packaging, from its variety of interesting shapes and colors and the chemical processes required to bring it to life, soap is a wonder to behold.

As I grew older, the practicalities of liquid soap overshadowed bar soap, but bar soap still holds a unique fascination for me that until recently I always thought would be something I would appreciate as the work of others. At least the hard core stuff, because I've done melt and pour but not the kind you make from scratch with danger lye and fats and all the smelly stuff that makes handmade soap so cool. And thanks to the light shed upon me by my very can-do makey friend Robin, and the continued (but getting better yay) limitations thrust upon my by my slowly but surely unfreezing shoulder, I have been suiting up and making cold process soap this summer.

I'm pretty excited that I am now at the point where I can play with the aspects of soap making - actually of any making - that interest me. When I can add smell and color, influence design, shape and feel, develop packaging, and think about how it might be something that would prove shop worthy.  This past weekend, tiny chumley and I completed test batch number 6, adding charcoal, and earl grey tea flecked inclusions,  and a dollop of silk melted in lye water and turned into the invisible luxury that is silk enriched soap.  Or at least I think so anyway, because I won't find out for another 6 or so weeks when the soap has cured and it is ready for use.  (Okay if you are really in the know, then as baxter would say, u know i know u know i know that i know u know i know i could use it sooner than that if i really wanted to. But I am not. Or at least I am going to try not to because the cure time is six weeks.)

My experiments in soap making aren't exactly a secret by any means, but for one little wolf, all the smells and delicious looking bottles of oils and the parts of the process where he has to be kept safely away have all built up a curiosity that can hardly be contained anymore, making his current jail time feel that much more restrictive, and raising his suspicions as to what exactly is going on up there. 

mom, I know it does not really smell like cheese from here but if u r making cheese that does not smell like cheese, I am compelled 2 remind u of the agreement made in the fair incarceration act of 2015 which states and I quote, "the little wolf food tax rates for 2016 shall include a 3 percent surcharge regardless of physical involvement in the creation and manufacture of said taxable and edible product. all taxes are due immediately and must be paid in full to said little wolf regardless of incarceration status.  form of compensation shall be determined by the following: a) if the product is completely edible with no anticipated digestive distress then the three percent surcharge shall reflect the amount of product by weight or volume as mutually agreed upon by both parties or by a ferocious falcon in the event that both parties cannot come to satisfactory closure on this matter. b) if the product contains edible ingredients but the final product deemed inedible by traditional and accepted dietary assessment methodologies, then the three percent surcharge shall be applied against the resulting average of six months worth of pre-incarceration meal sizes and payment made in kibble. c) if the product is completely made of -" wait, I would go on but I am pretty sure I smelled olive oil when u were making it, so really, whether it is b or c I think it is best to just pay up now, dontchoo think, mom? :)

 

 

smell hole

Summer heat and humidity isn't exactly welcome in our house this time of year, but when a bored and very much jailed little wolf needs the kind of sensory stimulation that only Mother Nature can provide, sometimes you just gotta find a way to a compromise.

oooooOOoOOoo an insulated smell hole! 

thanks mom! what a great use for all those air filled packing thingies we get in all our amazon packages. now, I was just wondering, well, u see how I have all this space on the ledge? well, dontchoo think a nice bowl of chunky chicken water would fit on it just perfectly? :)