um, well, dad, i guess...well... okay, i guess maybe it could be almond roca...and, well, i guess maybe it could be possible that the almond roca was coincidentally deposited on the snow yesterday night during a time when it appeared i was fulfilling my promise 2 poop outside...
but technically it was not wasted
and tecnically i did drop a load outside. so i feel i met my quota, dontchoo?
okay, everybuddy, she’s here!
oh hi, mom. um, sorry but this tfc meeting is for wounded toyfriends and special reconstructive surgeon lmj only :)
hee hee hee. oh yeah, this is totally going to work.
what??? snufflupagus? okay fine, duk duk. roll it up so my nose shows but that’s it. besides, if ima gonna wear it all day at school i guess it would be good to have a second blow hole. well, i mean a second smell hole. wait, i guess i still need to clarify. a blow hole slash smell hole for breathing in. which technically makes this new hole the one (and only) blow slash smell hole for that particular purpose. because the other blow slash smell hole that we already accommodated is really more of an blow out-
(sniff sniff) mom?
um, o nothing really. just getting ready for school. and well, u know how my ears get really cold ? and, well, the rest of me really? and u know how i cannot wear my puffy coat during class anymore for, well, reasons? well, tadaah - solution. say hello to the shai hulud 3000. now with two blow holes.
wait, what, mom?
hmmm...
hmmmmmm..
hmmmmmmmmm..
nopies, mom. i do not think that wearing this will affect my ability to learn any less than i already do in school :)
sheesh! no, cassie. if i told u once i told u eleventy majillion times already...
..ima wolf not an ewok. :)
ooo, i like it! and maybe we could try the baby rosy pink flat one next. u know, with the sparklies on it over there? that would be very valentiney too. but, u know, in a subtle yet sophisticated way. kind of like how when u add frenchy onion soup mix to monkey chow chili, it kind of helps bring the olfactory equivalent of unami to the afterparty if u know what i mean..
hee hee oh yes me likey! okay i think we have our nose option number eleventy twelventeen! u are going to try and make as many weenies as we have valentiney options, right mom? :)
well, mom, i was just thinking. today is only eight days into the new year. and, well, my paws are still really cold from playing outside in the snow. and, i know we talked about doing them today but here i am all nice and snuggled into dad’s lap so, well, maybe we should just wait and do my nails like, o..maybe never? :)
what?? i am not too big. i just look puffy because i am wearing the down jackie mom got me. and beaide, some dukkie should thank his luckee stars its not filled with his feathers, thank you.
now make way make way, let a wolfie in. it's freezing out-
(kaaack) here. foo-whee! omg, people, decency much? i mean, serously. it smells like, like.. fermented cheese in there . (kaaack).
hee hee, everybuddy knows to make a stink really spectacular u need the nuanced notes produced by a ferocious carnivore's biome. now lemme in quick cuz i think this instant pot's about to blow. :)
wait, what do u mean u cannot make inflatable poopie snakes, mom? we agreed before that me and duk duk are in charge of the makey ideas and this is our list. if it's on the list, it's on the list.
and inflatable poopie snakes are definitely on the list. :)
hee hee, like a hawk in search of prey, the dark wolf surveys his land while he waits for his handlers to finish readying themselves for a nice winter walkie...
how many people would he frighten on his walkie? , the dark wolf wondered. and not by any particular effort on his part, but just by merely being the ferocious something that they were seeing.
as he watched the girl handler approach him and open the door, his hackles bristled under the puffy cape santa had given him, in subtle acknowledgement thst his second handler was talking at him from be-
what? ugh. dad!! a dark elf?? sheesh, i toldjoo already the dark wolf is not, i repeat not any kind of elf. the dark wolf is the primary protector/collector of poops of all shapes and sizes and he fights inpoopstice against the downtrodden. not an elf. repeat, not an elf. nope. nopies. nope. just because his head gets cold and this was the only hat he could fi- nope. nopies. daaaad.
mom, can u please tell dad if he cannot kindly refrain from bothering the dark wolf during our walkies then he will be asked to remain at home for said duration of our walkie?
dear diary,
today i am busy spending time with my family but i thought i would share a peek at some of the things we got for christmas and a picture that is pretty representative of what our christmas morning was like. because, well, u know, ima wolf. anyhow i hope u have a merry rest of today :) :)
um, well mom, no reason, really. but if u happen 2 find any presents from santa for a nellie mc smelly, can u please let me and duk duk know? :)
okay, that one..o, maybe a million times. no wait, a million and one times.
hee hee, what's that, duk duk? oh yes, by apples in stereo. i will look that one up next.
oh no, not again! seriously why bother even making an app for something that may as well be easier and more reliable if u trained a monkey to do it using punch cards and an abacus.
now we have 2 start all over again.
boy, i sure hope santa appreciates how busy we been spending all this time trying to stay good. how many days is it til christmas again??
