Wednesday, March 21, 2018

what happens when a wolf finds out there is no more chicken left to make chunky chicken water


okay, mom, i am all buckled in so let’s get a move on that chicken is not buying itself u know :)

Monday, March 19, 2018

helium

the little dachshund stared at his mother in disbelief. ‘yes i can, mom’ he told her. ‘this might take a second, but let me show u.’

the little dachshund took in several hwoops of air as they continued their walkie, swallowing down every hwoop and then hwooping more.

‘now,’ said the little dachshund, whose voice by now sounded like he was speaking thru the release valve of a pressure cooker, ‘do not be worried if my back side goes up first. that’s just the nature of process really. but let’s keep walking and any second now u will see...’

a faint whistle noise started to fill the air, squeaking and sputtering in a fashion that oddly seemed to complement sound of nails clicking on the pavement.

‘wait, i just need to adjust..hwooooooop...okay i think i got it,’ said the little dachshund. the whistling noise started again. despite the brisk pace of their walkie, the air surrounding the little dachshund and his mother started to smell faintly of day old gummy worms. the whistling grew louder as the clicks of his nails grew fainter until finally, there was nothing left to hear but the steady whistle, and nothing left to see but a little dachshund, floating happily by his mom. :)


Friday, March 16, 2018

halo

why no, mother, it certainly could not have been me. i have just been sitting here soaking in the sun. :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

simple question:)


mom, dontchoo think maybe it is time for dad’s nails to get done instead? :)

Monday, March 12, 2018

love, miss debbi


we promise to read the letter first. now may we open it, mom ?


okay okay, i am going as fast as i can, stink butt. besides if some dukkie didn’t sit on my glasses we would not have this problem, would we?? alright now where was i? o yes...’and even though duk duk is a poopie butt, please enjoy this very special gift. love, miss debbi.’ oh looky and over here is a clue! ‘unlock the secret of the wizard, and seven special wishes will be granted.’


whoa, duk duk. a supercool magic wizard!! i wonder what his secret is...

Friday, March 9, 2018

little black coat


do not worry, mom, we will not be cold at all. duk duk has his feathers and i have my down coat. and besides, we will only be at the creek long enough to look for hippos and if there are not any we will come right back and order some online. o, speaking of which, and on a totally unrelated note, may we please borrow your credit card for some very important learning related purchases? :)

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

sewing nerd alert: how to recover a retro aluminum office side chair (with help from a little wolf) in mostly pictures


Our house has gotten fuller since tiny chumley came into our lives, not only because our lives are more enriched, but because, well, we just have more stuff. So it hardly made any sense for me to buy the chair i spied at the habitat restore a few weeks ago, but there it was, sitting in sadness outside along with all its other buy one get one free wooden misfit counterparts. Just begging to be saved.


Naw, we don’t need it, I thought as I started looking to see how easily it might be recovered. Screws on the seat underside - yeppies, but the back, hmm, oh, screws, and a weird but surely manageable tab in slot system! Metal chairs like this were always kind of cool so, eh, even though I can’t find another chair to bogo, I guess I would only be out four bucks so... sold!

The tricky part of doing an office chair of any sort is that fabric usually cannot be affixed using a staple gun. This basically turns the project into a sewing project, using traced patterns, upholstery thread and a curved upholstery needle. In tracing patterns, be very generous with seam allowances and where possible always serge (or zigzag atitch) the edge of each piece to keep things tidy and to provide the all important channel for threading fishing line where needed, because..


...once threaded all around, (or in this case 3/4 around) pull the fishing line taut on the fabric for the front of the seatback to create a sort of shower cap effect . This helps the fabric conform to the curves of the piece, while the large seam allowance I mentioned earlier helps minimize the wrinkles at the visible outer edge. Once the front fabric is smoothed and secured using pins, sew the back fabric in place using the curved needle and upholstery thread.


The seat bottom for this was a bit more of a challenge than I anticipated because I couldn’t easily pry open the little tabs that were holding the vinyl hostage. Plan B was to create a surface on the underside onto which I could sew the cover fabric. So just as I did with the back of the seat back, I traced a pattern and used it on fabric that had been interfaced to improve body and durability. For the seat bottom underside fabric, I also added a dart and some breather holes. After filling in some missing foam and taping all the vinyl cracks and otger susceptible areas to hopefully minimize future splits, I covered the seat bottom with a bit of batting temporarily held in place with sulky spray, then covered that with a dark indigo denim that folded over to the underside. Then and only then was it time to hand sew the denim to the piece I had made and put darts in, being careful to use clamps to maintain proper slack and tension in the denim so that the seat bottom could go back on the chair the way it was intended, with a lip over the edge.


Put everything back together and then voila!


super cool new chair for the foyer!


or, as tiny chumley would like to remind me, super cool new chair for a wolf in the foyer, dontchoo mean, mom? :)

Monday, March 5, 2018

sun soaking :)


A tiny adventure to score some bulky items meant the little kielbasa couldn’t use his snoozer when he accompanied me to our desination this past weekend, leaving him feeling quite disappointed that he couldn’t exactly see where we ended up, but blissfukky happy thar that he could soak up the sun :)

Friday, March 2, 2018

under the bus

hee hee hee. omg, duk duk, i am really impressed with how these turned out.


i mean, just look at them. and they are stickers, too. yeah, i think we should print at least eleventy gazillion more, too. this sprocket thingy is so cool.


uh-oh, i think i hear mom’s car!
(shuffle shuffle shuffle)


why hello, mom. looky - while u were gone we made u a sticker of us for your car so that way we are always with u even when we are not. can me and duk duk help u bring in the groceries? i am certain u must be tired. not that u look it or anything. u look fresh as a poopie snake. i mean, in a good fresh made sort of way. not like a poop mushie or anything.

wait, what’s that? take the sticker picture now? well, um....o i forgot , can u give duk duk a bath first? he really stinks because i think he stepped in uknowwhat and well, i know how u do not like us being stinky and all... :)

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

told the pet sprocket


yes, mother, do not worry about a thing. we know it is only borrowed and we promise not to touch it in any way whatsoever until u get back from the grocery store. poops honor. okay, we love u, too. bye bye.


is she gone? hee hee hee, right? like, seriously, it’s a bluetooth device. why would we even need to touch it? okay, duk duk, u go get the tripod while i pair up and then we can get this party started...

Monday, February 26, 2018

luckee

and the little dachshund squeed, ooo, a package for me!! :)

Friday, February 23, 2018

yippee there will be #supersundaydoot

do not worry, mom. we have it all worked out. duk duk said he will help u finish up the cootie protection amulet listings today while i go out and dig :)

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

if weather >=70 then todo= “dig” else doot=“sunday”

Though the little kielbasa and I are very close to finishing up another batch of cootie protection amulet necklaces (yay they’re so pretty by the way!!), tiny chumley’s ever expanding blanket of snowy white fur is wistful reminder that his pleas to go outside and dig in the loamy soil of spring should not be ignored. And so, with temps in the 70s as it has been with random irregularity, our makey pauses...


and we dig and sniff deeply into the soil...


and we wash..


and we look deep into the neighbor’s backyard, plotting our next ferocious fenceline fracas with stinky bassets.


and we think, we can probably start telling everyone we are planning to have a necklace doot this sunday at nine pm EST, but stay tuned because it kind of depends on the weather because there are many holes that need to be dug this week :)

Monday, February 19, 2018

lessons unlearned :)

kaaack! kaaaack! hee hee hee. fooowhee, even with my mask on that was a doozy and a half, duk duk. thank goodness we made sure fresh air is only a tent flap away. what’s that? o, yeppies, i totally agree. although even if we could get gjetost, i am not really sure there will be a next time because technically we promised mom that we would never play guess whose foofie inside the house again much less in the bedroom where we all sleep at night. hee hee, yeah, i guess we do make that promise every time. but seriously how could she expect us not to play after she made us this incredible blankie fort? it’s pretty much like she was telling us to play, right? i mean - uh-oh, i hear mom coming...

um, mom, before u lose consciousness from the overwhelming stench we just made, me and duk duk just wanted to tell u..whoops, there she goes. too late.


u know, u think she’d have learned by now to put her gas mask on before she starts looking for us.

Friday, February 16, 2018

year of the dog

um, just hthuffing fortune hookieth tho we can hthart celebrating the year of me. :)





Wednesday, February 14, 2018

happy valentine’s day :)

well, mom, i mean, we were just wondering..


i mean since u did such a nice job with mine and all...and, well, on account of u not letting us stay home on seriously like the most contagious and cootieriffic of all days...

well, before we goto school today we were wondering if u could make duk duk some cootie protection too. :)

Monday, February 12, 2018

hypoopthetically speaking

..well, if it had 2 happen, i suppose i would be like..

“eeeeew thanks for the smelly valentine flowers i guess, but next time just wear gloves and leave some gummy worms in my locker cuz that way me and duk duk can share them okay?”


yeppies, i am pretty sure that’s what i would do. :)

Friday, February 9, 2018

quality control inspection


mom, did u remember to put a poopie snake in each and every package like we asked u to? :)

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

have chompers will chomp :)


mom, u got anything else that needs expert wolf fixing? :)

Monday, February 5, 2018

tiny product tester


well, mom, i know it is risky, but a wolf’s gotta do what a wolf’s gotta do. especially with our cootie protection cyber craft fair being tomrorow nite and all. everything has to be substantiated and in order. just gimme a sec to take off my collar...


whoa..i can feel it protecting me already. this one is really pretty but it might be a little big for today though. i mean, in the miniscule chance that things go wrong, i need to be nimble, know what i mean? okay, lemme try another one..


hee hee, o yes, this one will do. it’s a little smaller so i won’t trip on it. i really like how they all turned out, dontchoo mom? i mean, like, they are all so pretty with the gold and the red stuff and the shiny and the matte and the subtle iridescence. nobusdy who does not know would ever know their true cootie protective powers, on valentine’s day or any other day really. and if they work on a ferocious wolf like me, then they would pretty much work for everyone.


well, i guess we should get this test over with so we can finish adorning some of them with dingly dangly pearls and make our etsy listings. lemme just ask duk duk 2 hide my collar and..


okey dokey. i think i am ready as i can be. cassie can come inside now. :)