Wednesday, May 9, 2018

rocket boots

well, mom, because the only avenger who goes barefoot is the hulk. and, i can totally use them when me and duk duk climb mount everest this summer. :)

Monday, May 7, 2018

finders eaters :)

hee hee nopies, duk duk, i am pretty sure this one has only my name written all over it :)

Friday, May 4, 2018

mister mystery bug

the little dachshund waited patiently for something exciting to happen. if only he was born maybe a little less ferocious, he thought to himself. then maybe the bunnies would still be willing to visit his yard. and then he could chase them again and...then he realized he could never be any less ferocious than the bunnies could ever be less wary of him. he could only be who he was and right now besides being ferociois, he was also b o r e d. and then, it happened.

a mysterious bug landed on the window and the little dachshund could barely contain his excitment. “o mister mystery bug, if u r what i think u r, may i please smell u?”

”why of course,” said the mystery bug, who by now was becoming less and less mysterious.

“why thank you, mister mystery bug. i promise i will be gentle.” the little dachshund drew a deep breath and then squealed with delight. “it’s true! it’s true! just like teacher told us. u aren’t just any mister mystery bug. u are mister stink bug!!”

”why yesss i am,” said mister stink bug. “it is nice to finally meet someone who appreciates my stink as much as you seem to.”

“i sure do. sometime when my toyfriends and i are playing guess whose foofie, i hope u can join us, too. we can make some pretty doozy smells but nothing as doozy what i smelled just now! mister stink bug, before you leave, may i please ask one more favor?”

”of course, my new and treasured friend,” said mister stink bug. “in fact, if it is what i think it is, you do not even have to ask. just go ahead, it’s okay.”

“hee hee, thank you mister stink bug,” said the little dachshund as he extended his neck out as far as it could go. “i cannot wait to tell my mom about my day.” :)

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Saturdoot is coming :)

..hee hee, well let's not count our snakeys just yet lil pink puppy. but yeppies, if we help sell them all this Saturday on Saturdoot at noon and nine pm EST,  then mom said we can have all the proceeds! and u know what that means - we can refurbish our trebuchet and goto the candy store and probably have enough left over to get flames painted on the pedal car.  well., i mean, if we are good about not spending too much on gummy worms.  which is probably like,, maybe instead of spending money to paint flames, we can just ask mom if we can borrow some paint and chocobot can provide the glitter if u know what i mean. hee hee yeah, chocobot.  wait, what's that, lil pink puppy? really? u think so? which one?

oh yeah.. i see what u r saying.  i guess even though they are all different, they are all like that really, what with the ferociously cute little wolfie dangle on each of them.  i mean, his face is almost as expressive as mine is, right? yeah, for something so deceptively simple in concept, well we all know how much work goes into making them, but for something so simple sounding as a gilded fetching stitch brooch,  there is so much depth to them when u think about it. so much meaning behind it. and look at all the texture and colors.  they are all so pretty, it's like take everything good about spring and summer and roll it up on a stick.

and, well, who says u have to pin them on your clothes, especially if u r like me and half of the year u go nakey nakey except for a collar? i mean, what do u do then?  u could put it on your book bag or a pillow or display it in a shadow box, or just keep it by your computer and play with the dingle dangle while u wonder why every day isn't take your wolf to work day.  yeppies, i can totally see why these would be good mother's day pre-..

-sents.  mom, did u happen to make an extra one for us to gi-, um, i mean, do u have a fav-,  is there one we can keep borrow for, well, um, no special reason? we promise we would give u back 2 sunday. :)

Monday, April 30, 2018

the fetching stick :)

tiny chumley was more than happy to oblige this past weekend after he had exhausted the possibility that a bunny might be in our backyard. fetching? for snackies? uhm, like, yeppies!

The grass had grown long enough that sometimes he would lose sight of the stick i threw and bring back a different one, or sometimes a leaf, or sometimes nothing, accusing me ever so politely of a ruse i did not commit, and fully expecting his payment in full.

I like to think that every little wolf owner has a story about fetching. Some little wolves love to fetch. Others, like tiny chumley, fetch out of a certain kind of love, and others, love not fetching at all.

This week tiny chumley and I will be working on Etsy listings for our newest creation, a series of vibrant gilded fetching stick brooches, made with carefully fetched and aged hardwood sticks, gold toned leaf, hand formed pin assemblies, colorful pretty bits and bobs collected over years of making, and each adorned with a dangly little weenie pup whose pose and eyes pretty much adorably say it all.

I love how these little pretties turned out. You might also say they are quite..fetching! Ha I suppose that’s why I usually leave the marketing to baxter and duk duk. Who most defintely will be working the channels this week to get the word out so do stsy tuned. The doot, by the way, will be this Saturday the 5th of May, at noon and nine pm eastern standard time.
Happy Monday !! :)

Friday, April 27, 2018

every wolf knows

Tiny chumley happily buzzed about the backyard yesterday morning, sniffing his way through chest high grass and periwinkle, with his tail held high and perkily wagging to and fro like the hips of a dashboard hula girl. This time of year, it’s not the digging that interests tiny chumley so much as it is the smells, the faint, molecular trails of evidence that validate what the little wolf inside him already knows to be true - bunnies. Somewhere. But not sure where yet.

When the little kielbasa is in wolf mode, there’s no calling him to come back so we can go inside. There’s only me, and my gas mask, and the billion quadrillion pollen particles that I attempt to dodge as I go get him. By the time I reach down to carry him home, his displeasure is expressed by his little ears, pulled back and pasted flat, and ready to tell all who would hear his protest, Time to go inside isn’t dictated by sneezy moms, every wolf knows. Time to go inside is after you catch the bunny.

Luckily, forgiveness is only a lunchy lunch bowl away. And while I spent the afternoon toiling away on my
computer, tiny chumley blissfully slept by my side, snug as a bug on a sheepskin rug. :)

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

wolf sized

..well, mom... i was just thinking that..well... i mean, i know we started this when i was little, but i am practically a full grown wolf now, so i was just thinking...

well i was just thinking that maybe
it is time that me, u, and dad got a bigger bed, dontchoo think, mom? :)

Monday, April 23, 2018

perthonal beth

hee hee i prometh, mom, u hwill noth regreth thith becauth i haf been practithing. thith whithle hwill be tho good, hit will be hmy perthonal beth. juth hang on a hthec while i relakth hmy lipth and focuth...hokay, hready?


hee hee, ta-thaaaah!

peee-eeew. hokay u can hleth go hnow my eyeth r tharting 2 wather from the thmell . :)

Friday, April 20, 2018

strawberry beret

hee hee hee, o delicious strawberry, now i have freed u from the refrigerator, i promise to smell u and lick u and chomp u all ov- uh oh - mom’s coming!! rats, what a day to not be wearing pants. hmm, quickly now where to hidey the straw...eek, out of time..

why smello, mom. can i help u with something? :)

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

well done

(sniff sniff)(sniff sniff) oooooOOOOoooooooOOOooooo! chicken!!

dad, can u please cook mine medium #rawwwr? :)

Monday, April 16, 2018

split decision

...hee hee, no they’re not. no. no they’re not. nopies. nope. nope. nope...duk duk! no, they’re not. no they’re not. nopies. nope. nope. nopes. capital n-o-peees. nope. no they’re not. duk duk, what u r suggesting is totally ludicrous. i mean, not only is your assertion scientifically unfounded, it’s just flat out delusional. no. nopies. negapoopies. what, did we wake up in bizarro world because well, sure, in that case, maybe. but not here. not here in the only world that matters because newsflash, my friend, bizarro world is not real. so nopies. no. never. nien. nunca. okay, fine , we’ll ask mom...

mom, are wolves are less ferocious than falcons?

Friday, April 13, 2018

when u ask your dad 2 carry u for a very good reason :)

hee hee, i know it is just a storm drain, dad, but trust me, i smell something in there that would bite my toes and my tail off :)

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

choosy wolves choose wolf juice

smello, it’s me, baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to u from home today because i am lucky enough to get home visits for my laser therapy. this reporter wolf’s hints for a successful laser treatment includes: barking, more barking, more barking, and oh yes, a large amount of wolf juice (that’s what the barking is for, really. o, and recipe follows..)

wolf juice
- 6 clean empty roller ball bottles
- 1/2 tablespoon corn starch mixed in 1/8 c of water to form a slurry
- about 1 to 1 1/4 cups chunky chicken water (no chunks)

note: this recipe makes about 6 roller bottles worth of wolf juice but u do not have to make that much. also, if u do not have chunky chicken water on hand, simply boil a boneless chicken breast in some water until the breast is cooked. cut or shred chicken into chunks and voila, now u have chunky chicken in chunky chicken water.

to make wolf juice, we will be making basically a very thin gravy. too thin and the wolf juice will spill out of the bottles, too thick and nothing will come out of the bottle. anyhoo, simply bring the chunky chicken water to a boil and add corn starch slurry. stir maybe about a minute, to make sure everything stays mixed and to prevent the formation of globs. once things have thickened (it will be slight), remove from heat and let cool. fill roller bottles and enjoy!

Monday, April 9, 2018

white duck :)




hmmmm...okay on the count of three we both pick our favorite. ready? one, two, three!

hey, we both picked the same one! but how could we not, really?sw7010. aka, white duck. hee hee, yeah, i like how they misspelled duk, too. makes it more pizazzy. and with this new paint on our bedroom walls, maybe when we go to bed a night, it will help us dream even more ferocious dreams. okay, should we tell mom?

mom, i think we have a winner. :)

Friday, April 6, 2018

say it

...hee hee, say it!...duk duk, i said, say it! hee hee hee nopies, there is no way i could even be crushing your trachea because we both know for reasons i have already apologized for multiple times that u do not have one.

besides, that’s what u get for being best friends with a ferocious wolf. now, say it and i will let go, so say it already!! boy, for a one winged falcon u sure are strong... but luckily, i am stronger! so say...peeeeee-eeeeeee-eewwww. kaaack. kaaack. hee hee hee, okay u win. omg duk duk that was a doozy.

o hi mom. um, nothing really. we were just reading and..wait, what do u mean stop playing silly smelly games? we were just sitting here and suddenly out of nowhere this giant foofie cloud came up and...okay, fine. i said okay. pupscouts honor. have a nice time at the grocery store and we love you too bye.

hee hee, and that concludes another smellytastic meeting of the royal order of falcons. :)

Monday, April 2, 2018

keep calm and cootie on

hee hee hee - ooo looky, something new! i wonder if this is the thing mom said she is going to recover for mister randy and miss bonnie. mom said mister randy has had this stool forever so i bet there are lots of interrsting things to smell...

(sniff sniff) (sniff sniff) hmm..(sniff sniff)....hmmm... (sniff sniff)..long hair...tiny...uh!

girl cooties.

mom, please do not worry or anything, but can u please call the tushie man immediately and ask him to bring a cootie vaccine asap?

Friday, March 30, 2018

easter, finally :)

well, we were just thinking, mom, that he probably really deserves it on account of all the eggs he takes without really asking. and then, when he gives them out, he gets all the credit when what did he do, really? i mean, he has all year to come up with something original that he can make himself and he has all year to come up with something fun to do but what does he do? every year he gives out chicken eggs he stole from, u guessed it, chickens, and every year if u r really not luckee, he makes u scary santa sit on his lap for pictures at the mall. only it is worse because u do not even get to ask him for presents or anything so u pretty much dressed up and stress pooped for nothing. not to mention the humiliation of the whole experience really - i mean, u probably do not understand that on account of not being natural born predator like me and duk duk, but trust me, wolves and falcons do not just sit on their prey’s lap if u know what i mean.

o, and the jelly beans that everyone thinks he poops? not even. chocobot says he poops pellets just like every other bunny cuz he saw him pooping at last easter’s invitation only tgiafter easter disco party. which he only started holding after he found out about our tgidiscofriday parties and u know he knows we know which is why he did not invite us.

so, anyway, i guess what me and duk duk are trying to say is, yes, we think it is perfectly fine to ask if u would help us rent a backhoe so we can finally dig a big enough hole to finally trap him and finally when we do, we finally can go rawwwr on him and finally that would be that. cuz ima wolf. and he’s a falcon. and rawwring is what we do. :)

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

spa day :)

hee hee, okay okay, duk duk, do not get your feathers in a bunch. i toldjoo, i can come down there as soon as i’m done with my mini ferociou whisker facial and ear wrap :)

Monday, March 26, 2018

these are not those :)

why, nopies, mom, i did not hear or see anything like that. and u would think i would notice, too, because i have just been sitting here waiting for duk duk to come back with some sunscreen really. u know, so we can do a little tummy tanning together. this time of year is always so nice for timmy tanning, isn’t it? well, anyhoo, if anything changes i will let u - sorry, what’s that? what’s what between my toesies?

oh, um, wow. hmm. would u look at that - they look just like the ones u said were missing! only, of course, these are not those otherwise they would be missing too, wouldn’t they, mom? :)

Friday, March 23, 2018

smelly side up :)

well, mom, i guess usually i do like to face george, but today seemed like a good day to serve things smelly side up if u know what i mean. :)