Friday, October 26, 2018

powdered sugar yeah


hee hee hee - today must be our lucky day because looky, duk duk, mom forgot to put away this year’s halloween handout candy! and u know what they say - finders poo-


-pers. aw come on, not smarties again!! we may as well be handing out, like, air, or boiled potatoes, or, i dunno....what’s the word for whatever that something is that makes you think, ooo looky! but then for no good reason at all, it totally underwhelms? what’s that, duk duk? yeah, like my school perform- hey, that’s not fair. at least i am not a product of deceptive advertising. this wolf does not promise to deliver anything to anyone other than the wolfiness in which i excel. candies, by definition, should be a delicious sweet treat, flavored with possible fruity or chocolatey overtones. these so called “candies” do not deliver on any of these critical traits.

hee hee, yeah, i agree, duk duk. ashes to ashes, dust 2 dust. and a lot of fun in the process. lemme ask her..


hey mom, um, for no particular reason, may we please borrow your hammer and googles?

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

poppin


mom, do u think maybe when dad comes back with our boba tea, well, do u think maybe he and i could switch seats and he would let me pop the clutch and pop a wheelie? i mean, i am pretty sure i can do it with dad’s car because i watched a you tube video, but duk duk says i have to prove it. :)

Monday, October 22, 2018

room 101


take my blood? r u serious, doctor mister tushie man?? i mean, i feel fine really. okay, okay, look, i admit i lick my tushie because i just like to. is that what u want me to say? because i just did. and, the last time cassie visited, i may have actually eaten a snackie crumb that may or may not have actually fallen out of her mouth. there, i said it. and not even duk duk knows that. and well, besides...i am not the wolf you seek.


hey, hey, i said, i am not the wolf you seek. aw come on, doesn’t anybuddy speak jedi around here?


look, doctor mister tushie man, duk duk is just right outside and i know if i could have just a moment to talk to him, i am sure we can arrange something that would not only sate your vampric needs, but also provide for years of interesting research. because well, duk duk’s blood, well it posesses a very unique regenerative property that enables super strength, rapid healing, and enhanced broadway / live theater abilities, including but not limited to singing, tap, and acting, qualities most of which i am certain a fine man like yourself could use to enhance -



o wait, what’s that? we are done already? that was quick...and painless. um, doctor mister tushie man, u know all that stuff i just said and all? well, u know i was just pretending, right? and, well, what happens in room 101 stays in room 101 am i right or am i right? o and hey - where’s my snackie? :)

Friday, October 19, 2018

statistically significant


dear diary,
after finally collecting several years worth of data, i am fairly certain that the tushie man does not know how to read. and that is all i really want to say about that now. bc despite making yet another and very clearly worded sign, u can pretty much guess what happened👉😱z


anyhoo, i hope u have a wonderful weekend.

toodleydoo!
b :)

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

after school delight

eeeeeEEEEEeeeeEeeeeek! hey, that’s MY bowl!! no touchy, no touchy, cassie! SHEESH. can’t a wolf even have a little time to decompress after he gets home from a long day of not listening in school? ay yi yi. now i gotta waste a whole month’s worth of gummy worms just to send my bowl thru the hydrosonic decootaminator like a zilloon times. arrrrrrgh. seriously cassie if u would just learn - ugh, u are not even listening! moooom?


mom, i cannot believe i am asking this, but...if this cassie coming over thing is going 2 keep being a habit, are there any after school programs that u can at least temproarily enroll me and duk duk into? i mean, like, even for math or reading or something??

Monday, October 15, 2018

rear view mirror


hee hee, let’s hurry, mom. i just laid a foofie trap :)

Friday, October 12, 2018

little protector


hee hee, do not worry, mom. i can protect u wherever u go, just by standing with u here between your legs, like this. :)

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

pack wolf :)


see, dad? it is ezPz really. but i should stop talking now so i do not drop them. :)

Monday, October 8, 2018

chasing rainbows

hee hee, hurry, dad! chocobot says at the end of every double rainbow lives a dragon that foofies gumdrops and poops gummy worms!! :)

Friday, October 5, 2018

fifty shades of wolfiness


What happens when a certain little wolf decides on his own to turn his first day of calendar photo shoots into a free for all comedy hour? Pretty much this really. :) #comedygold

Monday, October 1, 2018

pee-atsu


hee hee, okay i will b right there, mom. just as soon as dad finishes massaging my ferocious shoulders. :)

Friday, September 28, 2018

hook, line, and stinker :)

um, well, i guess u could say me and duk duk are still here at home and not in school because, well...because today is a school holiday. for, um, just wolves and falcons. and we forgot 2 tell u because...well, because it is a really new school policy that they only decided yesterday. u know, just to give the kids a break from all that ferociousness. and...as for our spiderman ps4 game and gummy worm super mega pantry order that was just delivered, it is just a coincidence, really. because me and duk duk were just getting ready to ask u if we could help u with chores today. u know, because we are home and all. well, i mean we can start helping just after duk duk comes back from wherever he went which i am sure has nothing to do with anything really. so, um, yeppies, that is pretty much it. can i get u some monkey chow tea or anything? :)

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

banana shark :)


“o yes, mother,” the little wolf promised, “as a bona fide ferocious wolf, i promise not to chomp your delicious banana when u r not looking. wolf’s honor and everything! please, feel free to read your book.”

no sooner than his mother start reading did the little wolf giggle as he drew air through his gills and opened his mouth wide to reveal not one nor two but three rows of razor sharp teeth. besides, he thought gleefully to himself as took a giant chomp, everybuddy knows that sharks like bananas.

Monday, September 24, 2018

eau de taun taun


(sniff sniff)...(sniff sniff sniff sniff).......(sniff)...(sniff sniff)...


hee hee hee. yeppies, duk duk, pretty sure things definitely smell worse here on the inside. :)

Friday, September 21, 2018

cooties from heaven

Nobody really goes about their day thinking about the space above their head.  I mean, yeah, it's there.  And if a noisy bird flies by or say a rainbow appears, yeah, I look up.  But usually, my days are all about looking at eye level or below.  Actually, with tiny chumley in the house, it's pretty much always below, unless I am walking somewhere, or talking or looking at big boyfriend.  But my point us, the minutiae of life doesn't require us to be constantly attentive to that space up there.
Except maybe for tiny chumley, who often looks up in hopes that it would rain snackies from heaven. Subtract food from the equation, however, and he's like the rest of us, happily doing whatever he's doing at tiny chumley level, until something happens that makes him ever so aware that something awful just happened, in that space way up there. :)


















Wednesday, September 19, 2018

chester mcZippyZappy


hee hee, sorry for wiggling so much doctor miss erin - the new zippy zappy zip zapper tickles!

Monday, September 17, 2018

we deserve a break 2day


hee hee, mom, what with us being so luckee with the hurrycane and all, and well, we have been cooped up 4 so long, do u think maybe me and dad can go to the mickey me midnitey nite drive thru for some frenchy fries? :)

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

please say nopies


mom, am i going to have to share this with cassie?


(ps there probably will be no blog posty friday or monday so do not worry :))

Monday, September 10, 2018

little dog big wolf


hee hee, okay, mom, from all the way up there on the ladder, am i still ferocious? :)

Friday, September 7, 2018

tiny tomato harvest


okay, mom. i promise not to eat any of the delicious cherry tomatoes here in this bowl until u and dad come back home.

yeppies. no buddy will eat not even a single precious tomato in this bowl. no eatey nada en este frutero. not on this wolf’s watch. wolf’s honor. all the tomatoes in this bowl are safe and sound! okey dokey, bye bye, i love u too. have fun on your errands with dad. smell u later..

hee hee hee, nobuddy said anything about the tomatoes that accidentally fall out of the bowl when a wolf is not looking... :)