trading places

 

 

mom, now that u know i am a very good boy and do not hog the bed or fall off or anything when it is just u and me, well, i am very glad dad is coming home 2day and i missed him very much butchoo think if i ask he might trade places with me and he can sleep in my bed and i can sleep here with u from now on? u know, just the two of us, bcuz, well, my new bed u got me is orthopedic so i am sure it would really be comfortable 4 dad and , well, dad really takes up a lot of space when we are all together,know what i mean? 

- baxter, 5.3 years old, happy that his dad is coming home from having spent the weekend with family out of town, but hoping he can continue enjoying the largesse of having an entire half of a queen sized bed to himself.

(hee hee,welcome home big boyfriend! :) ) 

every move u make

 

attention squirrels outside this window! 

 even though i have not been able to fully perform my chasing duties at all lately and you have taken over the bird feeders,

  

and even though i no longer have a kitty perch upon which to jump so that i can bark at u, 

and even though u are ignoring me right now.. know this my bird seed stealing friends...

i will be watching u..

...even if it means my mom's legs are going to fall asleep!!

tiny chumley's wonderful world of wonder

 

Tiny chumley quietly played while I was working yesterday, til finally he looked up with a very important question.

 mom, how come squirrels taste like duk?

squeeze me

Hee hee hee, tiny chumley's innocence always plays off nicely for some visual humor, especially when it comes to things as cushy as his tushie. Happy Friday!!  :)
 

haiku 4 u: leaves of grass

nibbling on grass
after a nice lunchypoo.
what could b better? :)

- baxter, 5.3 years old, on happily tending to his little garden's delights after training with his mom.

tarzan boys

 




 

hey duk duk of the jungle! watch out for that -

(THUD!!)

OOooo

...tree! 

eee hee hee hee hee heee!

call of the wild

Yesterday was dark and cold and windy and not at all the kind of day for a little dog to go walkies. But it was the perfect kind of day for a little wolf to play in his bed :)

eep op orp

Tiny chumley was running out of ways to tell me what he wanted by the time he came up with his last ditch plan.   He had already tried stare intensive telepathy but apparently my brain was not sufficiently developed enough to receive his signals.  He then tried to lure me Lassie style to the well of his ambition but coy looks and an exposed tummy only got him belly raspberries and tummy rubs - welcome diversions, but not at all what was required on this his second day of freedom, a day to be savored as much as every day of freedom should be, he now realized.  Last resort efforts had to be invoked.  It was time for kokospeak.

Kokospeak, tiny chumley knew, was hard enough for a gorilla, much less a stubby legged wiener dog with no fingers.  But somehow there had to be a sign that both he and I would recognize, he figured, something that would be the rosetta stone for this very important conversation.  And then it hit him.

Baxter raced out of my sight, nails clicking on the vinyl flooring and tags jingling til both came to an abrupt stop in where I could tell was the kitchen.  Or maybe laundry room since I left the door open, I thought to myself.  Oy, so much laundry yet to do.  Snorty noises, the sound of rifling around.  Laundry room it is.  I wonder if he's looking for a snackie in my pockets.

Baby dog trotted proudly back, head held high with something white and small in his mouth.   He proudly placed the little white cottony blob down on the floor and looked expectantly up at me, certain that this time I would know what he wanted and what we needed to do.  And he was right.

Even though it has been a long time since we've done it, part of our pre-walkie ritual often involves the both of us going upstairs to get a pair of socks, which he then would carry down for me with glee, scamping around with them until he was certain that I had come downstairs too and obtained a snackie with which we could perform our trade.  Slobbery socks to put on my feet for me, snackie for him to put in his tummy. And then we would go for walkies.  We hadn't done that in a while, but tiny chumley remembered.  And thanks to his kokospeak, so did I.

"Okay baby dog, walkies time it is!" I declared as I unglued myself from the laptop.

And off we both did walkie, happy as we could be. :)

maiden voyage

choo choo! all aboard the SS Poopie Snake, mateys!! :)

- baxter, 5.3 years old, on his first outing in his new zippy trailer , and maybe just a little confused about what sounds a pirate ship should make. :)

with this collar i thee promise..

Hee hee, with freedom, comes great responsibility...

yes mom i promise to try and remember not to go up and down the stairs by myself and i will no longer play jump the poopie snake even though it is the funnest game at school and yes i promise i will do better at barking only when people come up the drive way and not just when they walk by and if i catch a tiger by his toe i will most certainly let him go :)

the long and pokey road

Hee hee, yep, the doc called and gave us the all clear yesterday to release this little hound. We will take things slowly and of course be mindful of his jumping about, but here's hoping that baby dog's days of waking up with his mind on set on freedom are over for a very very very long time. :)

bedtime stories

All in all, tiny chumley has been a trooper with his cage rest,  letting himself be moved from one golden pokey to another to another to another and to finally another for the night, where he is left alone with piles and piles of blankies and george's gentle breath to keep him company while his dad and I are a few feet away in the bed that he had claimed over 50% ownership not shortly after he came into our lives.

Neither of us, I think, have gotten restful sleep since this all started.  Every night when I tuck the little kielbasa in, I see his eyes, optimistic and ever hopeful -  mom, are you sure i cannot sleep with you and dad tonight?  And every night I've had to tell him, No baby dog, not tonight.  But very soon our bedtime stories will have a new ending, and we both will be sleeping happily ever after. :)

little stowaways

Hee hee, today a peekypoo at the results from part one of pimping out baby dog's zippy trailer, a memory foam cushion insert that I cut and covered in dyed caribbean blue quilted and denim fabric, and piped in jaunty red for some zippy contrast.

oooooh so comfy! mom, are you sure you counted right for the number of days i have left in the pokey?  bcuz even though it does not have a pirate flag on it yet, me and duk duk are so ready for a study break and we are more than willing to take this for a spin now if u know what i mean. :)

solar powered

By the time I was ready to consider cutting down the memory foam mattress I bought to fit into Baxter's zippy trailer, it was too late.  Somepuppy of the sausage persuasion got to it before I could, and there he was, sleeping ever so soundly as his little loafy body soaked in the warm afternoon sun. 

please hold my calls, wontchoo mom? and tell duk duk we will start studying again just as soon as the sun goes down, okay? it is time to recharge my batteries!! :)

study buddies

dear diary,
as u might imagine i have tons of school work to catch up on from having been in the pokey so long and mom said if i do not start it soon then i might have to go to summer school which would really be da pits bcuz me and duk duk have already decided that once we earn enough gummy worms to buy our pirate ship which could be any day now we would spend all summer pirating the seven seas in search of the fabled lost treasure of princess petunia of poopythia.  so needless 2 say yesterday i started on my studies and duk duk even helped me with as much as he could remember before he fell asleep in class.  which as it turns out was quite a lot bcuz really he could not help me much at all with my astrometabiology homework but lucky for us we are only taking that class pass fail. 

anyhoo, as u can see by the stack of my books, i will be very busy this week so if you would please help me out by letting me know what's going on with the wonder pets and scooby doo i would really appreciate it bcuz i do not think i will be able to watch tv much at all this week and even though scooby doo still stinks at solving real mysteries, he still manages to solve them on television and  now i am wondering if the secret to scooby doo's powers lie with his scooby snacks and if so maybe i should ask mom to get me some so i can power thru my schoolwork.

toodleydoo!
b. :)

oh bother

well lil pink puppy, i am sorry that aunt baxterina won't be able to join your and chocobot's tea party today, but maybe if we r lucky she will visit us again real soon and we will have a picnic to celebrate! :)

behind the looking glass

Polleny windows and golden wire walls have been a bit of a barrier to tiny chumley's enjoyment of spring, but hopefully at the end of this coming week, the tushie man will clear him for release from the pokey, and all will be right as rain again.

Watch out world, this little dachshund has a lot of catching up to do.  :)

dapper doxie duds: rocky & penny's mad men sunday picnic in the park

Did you ever wonder what dachshunds wore for duds back in the Mad Men days when even casual wear seemed, well, dressy?  Did boy doxies walk in the park dressed like their dads in a bowling shirt  or a camp shirt made of comfy double mercerized cotton with a contrast textured woven panel inset?  Did little girl doxies go to their picnics dressed like Betty Draper wearing duds that had a seamed and fitted bodice and removable flare skirt,  done up in a lovely shell pink cotton and embellished with layers of pretty picot edge and floral jacquard ribbons, and made even happier with a row of cheery pearlescent flower buttons along the spine? 

Sadly, I suppose the answer is no.  But lucky for Baxter's modern day friends Rocky and Penny, they won't have to wonder at all what it's like to go for a picnic in the park dressed as little men and ladies want to be dressed.  Happy Friday friends!! :)

wait wait wait - did i just hear...?  mom! wait - don't say goodbye just yet!!  hang on...

  okay where's the picnic? :)

mr pitiful

dear diary,
if u have any ideas on looks that might work on mom n dad to help me get out of the pokey, please let me know, because yesterday, when i pulled out the big guns with my mr pitiful look, it got me nuttin.  well okay, it did get me a very tasty strawberry that my tummy and i enjoyed very much but we are still here in the pokey and i have run out of ideas for poopie songs to sing, not to mention mom said i needed to focus on something more couth-y and i do not want to start on my school work yet.    please let me know if u come up with anything soon, okay diary? 

toodley-doo,
b. :)

lessons from the pokey warden - lesson 1: never show the inmate your escape route..

A happy skippy little boy met me in the middle of the hallway upstairs, a sure sign that somepuppy has been keeping tabs on his mom and dad while he's been in the pokey.  Watching and learning with one eye open all while he was pretending to sleep under cover of warm blankies, woozy and sluggish from muscle relaxers and intellectual under stimulation.

"baby dog!", I did declare to the happy-to-be-free dogggie before me. "How did you get out?"

Baxter's tail wagged proudly as I kneeled down to scoop him up and put him back in the pokey that I had only moments earlier set up in his dad's office so I could get dressed and buy a few goodies to pimp out tiny chumley's zippy trailer.

Oh there it is, I realized when I put the little kielbasa back down and he started again in the direction of his path to the promised land where freedom reigns and walkies happen every day.  The ex-pen walls I had set up amidst all the boxes that were awaiting a trip to the thrift store had unintentionally created a mini funhouse maze, a perfect  lowrider pathway for little pent up doxies anxious to stretch their legs and roam free again.

This was, actually, mostly my fault. Baxter's new found maze management skills, that is. For days now we have been able to get by with sloppily placed walls and giant gaps and haven't had to worry at all about the little kielbasa actually busting out.  The trick, I knew, was in keeping things seemingly precarious enough so that Baxter wouldn't even try to nudge at things, as strong as his skitter instinct is.  But all the lifting in and out of the pokey has taken a bit of a toll on me ergonomically speaking, and so these past few days I've been moving parts of the gate like a fence so I could get in and out more easily, and sometimes yes, encouraging him to take a step or two down the maze-like path of freedom so that I could more easily pick him up and take him where he needed to go.  Little did I know how this would sharpen somepuppy's stealthy navigational skills.

So now the walls are much better secured for my little pokey break puppy.  No gaps, no connections to make hidden pathways to the promised land.  But the whole experience makes me wonder, what else has he learned while watching me through the golden wires of his pokey prison walls?

pssst - can u keep a secret?  don't tell mom but i know where she keeps the snackies by her desk and i know where mister tiger goes to sleep when we are not playing with him!!

yippee yippee ya ya ya-ya!

Hee hee, okay,  I hardly know how to explain myself,  except to say that sometimes, a person needs a break from researching herniated cervical discs and wading thru the murky stew of risk and uncertainty.  And sometimes, when those breaks happen and say a person's internet research time is spent in seemingly less productive ways? The end result is the happy arrival of a sporty little something for a certain special little someone.

 wooty woOT! mom, it's the ibibyaya s980 petzip happy trailer!! the ibibyaya s980 petzip happy trailer!! only eleven more days to go and then we can yippee yippee ya ya ya-ya! yippee yippee ya ya ya-ya!

hee hee,  voulez-vous promener avec moi? :)

basket love

dear diary,
well diary, i am writing 2 u today with unfortunate news that operation duk and daffodil was a complete and utter kaflooey-louie.  but in our defense, nowhere in the secret ops chipscout manual does it tell u not to overindulge in monkey chow milkshakes the night before a big mission, which u think it might should considering while we were waiting for the easter bunny 2 arrive, me and duk duk both had a serious case of the foofies and that made our tea party totally unattendable  if u know what i mean.  so our lovely tea party had 2 be called off on account of stink, and with it, operation duk and daffodil.

lucky for us, though, by the time we packed up our gear and met up with chocobot and lil pink puppy back at the pokey, well wouldn'tchoo know we could hardly believe our eyes at what was waiting for us because right there in the pokey was an easter basket filled with yummy yummy treats!  somehow the easter bunny must have snuck past us and somehow he  managed to get in thru the pokey bars and somehow he even got the basket thru the bars without harming nary a thing.  yep,  something tells me we could learn a thing or two from the easter bunny when it comes to executing secret ops missions.

anyhoo,  diary, i hope u had has wonderful an easter as we did!

toodley-doo!
b. :)

duk and daffodil

shhhhhh, be vewy quiet...Operation Duk and Daffodil is now under way and we are expecting the easter bunny to arrive at any moment!!

 

- baxter, 5.25 years old, first class junior grade unicorn commando attack force chipscout, primed and ready to execute Operation Duk and Daffodil, a top secret ops mission that he and f.c.j.g.u.c.a.f.c duk duk devised wherein f.c.j.g.u.c.a.f.c duk duk - codename  "yellow bunny" -  uses the lovely tea party that they've set up to engage and distract the easter bunny long enough for f.c.j.g.u.c.a.f.c baxter - codename "the daffodil" - to sneak past the otherwise occupied easter bunny and his forces to covertly access the easter bunny's basket caravan and secure the easter bunny's spiced jelly bean reserve (bcuz nobuddy likes spiced jelly beans) so that they - yellow bunny and daffodil - can take the surplus yucky jelly beans to the candy store and trade them in for delicious gummy worms which they then intend to split 55-45, or 45-55, depending on who u talk to about whose job is harder.


Hee hee, Happy Easter!! :)

friday night's alright for fretting

two more weeks? but mom, if i am still in the pokey on sunday, how will the easter bunny give me my easter basket??

what a good boy gets

ooooOOOOoooo...hee hee hee,  yummy yummy yummy i've got love in my tummy!

- baxter, 5.25 years old, happy 2 find out it ain't all bad in the pokey. :) :)

poopship troopers

dear diary,
yippee!! me n duk duk's chipscout badges finally arrived yesterday and so mom put mine on my uniform and looky! yep, my official chipscout outfit is now complete!! and once i am out of the pokey, everybuddy will know that i am part of troop number 238, special attack force stealth commando unicorn squadron.  and that i earned a level 1 in swimming  and that i earned my mountain camping badge and that i earned the most coveted badge of all, the golden poopie boulder badge - in recognition of outstanding effort and achievement in the field of, yeah u guessed it, pooping!  and as a matter of fact, the only thing missing from this picture besides my neckerchief and neckerchief slide is the emergency snackie snack that every chipscout carries in their emergency snackie snack pocket.  And that is only because since my meals have been cut back because I cannot go walkies and I am in the pokey, well u know my tummy delared an emergency. so let's just say there was a emergency snack attack earlier if u know what i mean.

anyhoo, mom says i am only allowed to wear my uniform for a few minutes so i really must go now bcuz duk duk n lil pink puppy n chocobot are all due home from school any minute now as i write this and i want 2 make sure they know when they come up the driveway that they will be walking into the home of an official first class junior grade unicorn commando attack force chipscout. hee hee, i hope u r having as wonderful a day as i am!

toodley-doo!

b. :)

buns of glory

hello pretty sun
and lovely springtime flowers,
o how i miss u! 

- baxter, 5.25 years old,  on enjoying yesterday afternoon's pokey relocation to a sunny open window :)

etsy fresh: new paper goodies! :)

dear diary,
 well it turns out staying home from school is not all it is cracked up to be, especially when your toyfriends still have to go and u r left to spend time in the pokey all by yourself wrapped up in a warm blankie with george gently blowing on u (well okay, the blankie and george parts were very nice but the being by myself in the pokey not so much if u know what i mean).




 anyhoo, to help pass the time and to help earn money to buy our pirate ship, mom said i could help her add new paper goodies to etsy and looky, without duk duk and chocobot and lil pink puppy 2 distract me i loaded a ton of happy new birthday cards, an anniversary card, and cards for fathers day and mothers day, cuz u know, some of us have more than one mom or dad to shop for and bcuz no two moms and dads are alike, why should their cards be?

any-anyhoo, diary, that is what i was up to yesterday.  today, mom said if the weather is still nice we might set up my pokey so i can help her get ready for our visit from the easter bunny...i sure hope it involves setting up poopie snake filled bunny booby traps.

toodley-doo!
b. :)

where toyfriends dare

(whispering) pssst - hey, duk duk! i got the ipad u baked in the cake u gave me yesterday but i do not know how turn on the netflix. maybe we should get lil pink puppy to squeeze thru the pokey bars with chocobot bcuz lil pink puppy is the only one who knows how to work this thing and then by the time u climb over we can all start watching and hopefull finish before mom gets home.

  hurry up duk duk, wonderpets is starting and it is the one about the unicorn!!

um, pardon me, but besides not telling mom about this, u r welcome to join us but before you do, would you please close the curtains so we can see the screen a little better? thank u :) :)

poopillon

dear diary,
well it is my fourth day here in the pokey and bcuz he is lying right next to me i am whisper writing to tell you a very big secret.  r u ready cuz here it is - not only does he snore really loud and steals your kibble when u r not looking but scooby doo stinks at solving mysteries.  especially ones that involve getting u both out of the pokey if u know what i mean.  so next time if u ever have an opportunity to choose your pokey mate, think twice about choosing scooby doo.  and even though she is a girl u might want to pick strawberry shortcake bcuz at least she smells like strawberries and cake.  which is more than i can say for useless scooby poopie bottoms doo.

anyhoo, i hope u r having a wonderful sunday and i promise 2 write again soon.

toodley-doo!
b. :)

the poopie dumpling gang

 



 


well boys, i see we have ourselves a bona fide d-i... d-i-l-l-i...no, no, wait, d-i-l-i-m-m-u-....i see we have ourselves in a fine predica-dica-dookiement we do.  chocobot, how's about u trade in them keys u found for some grub for us whydontcha and in the meanwhile me n duk duk will think up another way to bust me out of this here pokey..

- baxter 5.25 years old, upon realizing he probably should have paid more attention in his spelling and vocabulary class, and that the keys his poopie dumpling gang rustled up to break him out of the pokey won't work without a keyhole to put them in.

visiting hour

hello, duk duk, chocobot, and lil pink puppy!! me so glad u could stop by for a visit. :)
- baxter, 5.25 years old, patiently biding his time in the pokey , all with a little help from his toyfriends.

 

pokeyed puppy

Staring at the tiny white hairs that comprise tiny chumley's ever expanding milk moustache, I can't help but feel our time left together here on Earth with Baxter is already short enough.  If we are lucky, if things are as I hope them to be,  we will celebrate at least another ten Christmases together, another ten birthdays, another ten but hopefully more years of yippee skippee squirrel chasing, hole digging, poopie snake making eventually just snooze all day happy go lucky joy.   Ten years that in my mind have never felt so short.  So I hate it when things happen now that detract from our ability to enjoy one another's company.  But maybe it is because we have over enjoyed each other's company already that we find ourselves at this point, where for the second time in his life, Baxter's neck pain has flared up.

Although Baxter's symptoms are much less significant than his friends who have suffered from IVDD bouts recently, I have spent more than a few sleepless nights worrying and researching about what to do, and if or when to do it.  Talking with vets and friends and crawling through dodgerslist and the rest of the internet, hoping that there would be an instant cure for the intermittent yips-if-he-moves-the-wrong-way cervical pain that ails my little tiny boyfriend. Wishing that everything didn't have its risks.  Wishing that he could be made of the bouncy rubber that he thinks he's made of, rather than the fragile glass that I've been treating him as lately.

But I've come to realize and mostly accept that at this stage in the game, and with the help of anti inflammatories, pain meds and cage rest, it is really the passage of time that will hopefully help my little kielbasa.  The very time that I already feel I no longer have in abundance.  But, no matter where this might take us, I know I will take what I can get from my time with Baxter here on this planet. Whether we spend it together frolicking in the sun, or lying quietly side by side, separated by the walls of an ex-pen, this time, our time no matter how it is spent, will always be mine to treasure.

Three weeks in the pokey, my little friend.  And I will be with you all the way. :)

milk moustache

hello, milk moustache!

mom sighs when she looks at u,

but i think you're cool.  :)

- baxter, 5.25 years old, and his mom, on the little white hairs that are slowly migrating to his upper lip and beyond.

double posties: easter is almost here!

Yippee, today is double posties day because  I just looked at my calendar and realized just how quickly time flies!  But lucky for all of us,  it's not too late to visit the kalyxcraftopia etsy shop and send your favorite homies and homettes a happy little Easter greeting, courtesy of u know who. 

And do not worry if you need different quantities, as always please feel free to etsy convo and if you are looking for other goodies, not only is the Peter Cottontail Easter card there too, but also the Tomodachi Dog and Bunny Friends card and art prints and a whole lot of other fun and happy cards and tiny tiny gifties that you might want to include in this year's Easter basket!  Happy Spring, friends!! :)

ps - don't forget to scroll on down a bit  or clicky here to checky checky what the little b's been up to in his happy little world.  :)

loan application

well mom, let me first say we are prepared to pay u back in poopie snakes plus fifteen percent interest, thirty and maybe even forty percent interest if u would remember to feed me canned food and fiber more often.   and, if we r lucky and while we are out at sea and find someone to actually pirate, we might even be able to pay u back in valuable pirate treasure!  but to answer your question, no, in case it does not fit in the bathtub, i do not know where we would park our giant pirate ship when we are not using it.  and no, i do not think me and duk duk will have any problems being together for so long out at sea because as captain of our pirate ship,  i-
 

duk duk! will u quit poking me? i won the captain's tag fair and square and we would not even have to be asking mom for a loan if u didn't eat all the gummy worms we were saving to buy our pirate ship in the first place, mister poopie breath! 

ummm, yes...so....do we have a deal mom?  pleeeze?? :)