can u smell the science all around me?

Beep beep boop. Beep beep boop..Why, hello my friends -  can u feel it? Can u smell the science all around me?  Can u taste it?? Cuz it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter reporting to you today from the confines of this very interesting and very white lab room. Which you are currently viewing on a monitor from the mom n dad waiting room.   I am here today to contribute my time and my tummy to science.  You see, some of u may remember that a couple years ago I went to the canine cognition center and I had a swell time taking tests that really didn't seem like tests at all.  In fact, they were so easy, it was like eating for free.  no work or nuttin.  And, I am glad to tell you that today's experience was just like that, only better, because the snackies just kept coming and coming and you can see in the image below that at times that I forgot all my training and did not sit or stay or anything, as excited as i was about finding the treats that they would hide under stuff.  And yet I still got snackies.  Which only makes me wonder why I have to wait and work so hard for them at home, but I guess that is a thesis I must work on for another day.

Anyhoo, these tests were a little different because they were prototypes and my participation would help refine each experiment.  And I was still fed the same if not more, which probably is why my mom didn't bother giving me lunch at all when I got home come to think of it, and to tell you the truth I didn't really even notice I did not have my usual lunch, as snackielicious as the study was.  Hard to believe, right? But the snackiefest was that fantastic.  Sorry Doctor Tushieman, but mom says I will be back on the diet wagon tomorrow and I promise I will do extra walkies to make up for it.

And I will be burning calories playing with this! My new squirrel buddy toyfriend, which I earned for my participation along with a writing pen that I let mom keep in her car cuz, well school is almost out and I do not want to see a pen again until September if u know what I mean. 

So that was my Friday, and I am Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you a super satisfying Saturday!!

i just use my paws :)

 

no, see, this is how u do it mom - i just use my paws. my neck will be just fine. :) :)

- baxter, 5.4 years old, hoping to prove that despite his mom's worries,  it is okay for him to chew on his antler.

dapper doxie duds: happy bunnies

 




but mom, what do u mean i cannot model gabriella's happy new dud for pictures?  i see that it is a little small but i think i can manage. watch... 

(fumble) (fumble fumble)

 

mom i know we are losing daylight 

but do not worry i will have this on in a jiffy.

(fumble)

(fumble fumble)

 okay, almos..

(hwwwwwwuuuuuuuuuuup!)

 






  
ok..(hwuuuuup!)   i cannot... (hwuuuuup!) 
i cannot do this for very..(hwuuuuuuup!)

mom hur..(hwuuuuup!)   mom hurr..(hwuuuuuup!) 

(hwuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!)  hurreee!!

 hee hee, mom i toldjoo i could do it.  i hope u like your new happy bunny harness gabriella!! :) :)

scenes from a restaurant: conversations with an only child

so anyhoo, mom n dad, that's why u should never let a walrus borrow your ladder except on wednesdays or holidays or date numbers cleanly divisible by 12.96541.... o hey,  did i ever tell u about why me n duk duk need a lion on our pirate ship?

ooo- sure!  i most definitely would like a snackietizer while we are waiting for our lunch if u do not mind.   (crunch crunch) o, kibble - dat's yummy! (crunchy crunch crunch)

(crunch crunch) 

hey, (crunch) whatchoo takin pictures of back there, mom? (crunchy crunchy crunch crunch)

hee hee, o my tail chub?  well, if u think that's funny, mom, i got a good one 4 u. o these are tasty. may i have help myself to a few more pieces of kibble please?  

okay.. (crunchy crunch crunch) so, after we put out flags..(crunch crunch)..me and duk duk worked on our mariners badge and didjoo know..(crunchy crunch).. that even though we live far from the coast, seafood.. (crunch crunch).. is always very close at hand and readily accessible? 

here, let me ..(crunch crunch) ..show you..(crunch crunch) ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(blink...blink...blink....)

okay, i apologize for such uncouthy behavior.

(blink.   blink.)

boy our food sure is taking a long time.

(blink.)

hey didjoo know when i do my eyes like this, i can see stars?  

i think it is the milky way galaxy.  or maybe it is a whole new universe altogether, filled with rawhide meteors and planets made of cheese! ....hey, u know, i really think scooby doo could do a whole lot better for companions, dontchoo? i mean i like shaggy, but u never see them doing anything but solving mysteries and why wouldn't shaggy at least take scooby doo to the pet store or the park like we do, right mom? cuz even though solving mysteries can be fun it can also be scary and speaking of scary, please do not be alarmed by the poopie snakes me and duk duk left in the driveway to dry bcuz when they are ready we are going to take them down to the creek and try catching fishes with them . oh i cannot wait for our lunch to come, can u mom?  :)

scenes from a restaurant: part 1

boy, i sure wish duk duk and chocobot and lil pink puppy

could have come with me n mom n dad to this nice restaurant. 

already i can smell some wonderful things!

hey, what's a dog gotta do to get some service here?

uh-hmmmmm... uh-hmmmmmm.....uh-hmmmmmmmmmmm.  
dang, no steak or monkey chow.  but ooo, i see they have poop au vin and hasenpfeffer...

uh-hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...









 

um, mister waiter, may i please have the chargrilled kibble burger, medium rare, with gummy worms and green glitter with a side of bacon and cheese frenchy fries and a pink cotton candy sundae? but hold the tomatoes please bcuz i am on a diet.   o, and can i get the gummy worms and glitter on my burger but make sure they do not touch each other and can u please bring a dogduknunicorn bag out when u bring my meal bcuz i already know i will be taking some home for my friends and i want it 2 stay nice n hot. :) :)

memorial day

with gratitude and remembrance, today we honor those who have fallen in service to our country, and the families they left behind.

- baxter, 5.4 years old, duk duk the current, 0.5 years old, chocobot, 178 septaur cycles old, and lil pink puppy, 0.8 years old, while waiting for their ride to participate in their chipscout memorial day activities.

negotiation 101

 Hee hee hee.   Okay, in my defense, I have not purchased a pair of shoes in quite a while.  Years, I think.  Which is how I found myself in desperate need of a new pair of respectable summer walkies shoes. And I suppose how the online bargain shopping floodgate recently opened, because, well, I had a need to feed and I really don't want to be shopping for shoes like, all the time. Cuz u know, I got a blog to write and goodies to make and a tiny and big boyfriend to play with.

Tiny chumley of course, was rather disappointed as we made our way through the stack of packages that were on our doorstep yesterday.  Sniffing first with great anticipation that his dieting days might be over,  til realization set in that these were goods not meant to be either played with or eaten.

sigh... mom, really, nothing for me?? i am sorry to tell u but my tummy says these are hard times and  if u want to take a picture of me with your new shoes,  it will cost u five pieces of kibble or a strawberry.   but both if u want me to sit and perk my ears.  do we have a deal?? :)

i like to play

  

i like to play

on rainy days

and sunny days

and cloudy days

and windy days

and every day 

in between. :)

- baxter, 5.4 years old

dukkie and the tramp

hee hee hee. okay duk duk, i will play tramp this time butchoo totally need to help me find a moustache comb otherwise when it comes time to do the sphaghetti scene i will not be able to eat it much less see it. :)

i like tummy rubs :)

turning upside down

and thumping my tail gently,

i like tummy rubs. :)

- baxter. 5.4 years old, on the how to and joys of a nice mid-day tummy rub.

dapper doxie duds: otto n linus

dear diary,
yippee! it seems like forever since i have talked to you about modeling duds and lucky for me and my tummy, that streak is now broken.  cuz this is me, modeling the duds that my mom made for ike's brothers otto and linus!  and i will tell you all about them.

this is otto's summer dud, made from a nice green and blue cotton batik and trimmed in solid green twill. it is super cool because not only did mom use vintage woven label trim, but she also put a squirrel charm on there that u cannot see very well unless u enlarge the image, but trust me, it is very cool and personally i would like one on one of my duds so mom if u ever read my diary, i forgive u so long as u remember this.













this is otto's winter dud and it is made from a super nice pendleton wool houndstoothy plaid.  and a swell silk necktie that my mom quilted to add texture. and just like his brother ike's winter dud, my mom made an etched and stamped copper tag with otto's name on it.  very dapper, right? :)

now every dog needs an all season dud and dontchoo think that a dud pieced together from double mercerized golf shirting materials would fit the bill, especially when there is a snackie pocket involved because the material is so stretchy  that if u are lucky enough to have more than one snackie to put in your pocket, you can? mom, if u are still reading my diary, i really would like one of these too please.













and last but not least, here is linus's happy trains n boats pieced necktie dud!  and it would probably be helpful to know that linus is actually technically ike and otto's uncle, because linus once belonged to ike n otto's mom's dad. but sadly, ike n otto's mom's dad passed away, and linus now lives with ike and otto.  so to help linus remember his dad now that he is gone, my mom made linus's duds out of some of his dad's neckties.  that way when he goes walkies, his dad will always be close by, hugging him and keeping him safe.



anyhoo diary, those are the duds for otto n linus and i hope they like them a lot - i know i did, and i could not even focus on them for very long on account of the visitors we had yesterday who were working on the house so as u can imagine it was quite a zoo around here and if you are still reading my diary, i do not believe you mom when you say it is of my own doing because u know i am barking to protect our house and those guys were so taking things away - even if they were replacing it with other things.  and they did not give me snackies.    which every grown dog knows is totally a barkable offense.

toodley-doo!
b. :)

and this little piggy...

was very snoozy after his wonderful walkie in the warm warm sun! :)

table manners

Always preferring to accompany us rather than be left home alone, tiny chumley has been happy to work on his outdoor dining table manners lately, sitting like a little gent at the table and patiently waiting until it is time to be served a little lunchtime snackie or two.

see mom, i can reach the table and everything.  i told u i do not need a booster seat.  but may we please get a doggie bag the next time we go to the hot dog place?  i like my kibble n all, but everything there smells so delicious!! :) :)

places 2 go, things 2 do

Although being part of craft shows has mostly cured me of my need to attend them and buy buy buy, it's still fun to get out when the weather is nice and go with big and tiny boyfriends for an early morning crafty stroll, before the crowds and loud music and heat settle in like unwelcome guests to our tiny little party.

This year, the weather was exceptionally fabulous for yesterday's show, and while I found myself intrigued and amused by one piece of art in particular, tiny chumley found himself equally intrigued and delighted to sniff ankles and shake hands with friends old and new for snackies, and by the promise of what he was certain he would find if he only looked hard enough.

xcuse me! make way, make way, let a doxie thru. beep beep! hey mister, watch out i'm right down here.  anybuddy know where the food trucks and little kids are? cuz i smell some serious snackie opportunities!! :)  

u cannot eat it or anything

ummm, r u sure this is what u were so exited about, mom?  u cannot eat it or anything.

- baxter, 5.4 years old, unimpressed and rather disappointed with my super cool thrift store score from yesterday.



Alright alright, tiny chumley and I do need to take pictures of the duds we finished yesterday (hee hee, yep I'm talkin to u, Otto and Linus!)  but well, I needed new summer walking shoes and heck I'll be passing the thrift store anyway and The Avengers doesn't start til 1:00 anyway so...wooty! I stumbled across the holy grail of vintage Pyrex Love.  Well, technically half since I only found 2 of the 4 bowls, but who's counting?  And I won't even tell you about the dresser that didn't have a price tag on it that so should have been mine.  Not that anyone here needed one.  Which is how it always seems to go when it comes to vintage scores. 

Tomorrow, baby dog, I promise,  a return to regular programming! :)


  

schnoz deep

Hee hee, strawberries. Even when they are purchased from the store and secretly stowed in the lowest pot on the deck, they are still nature's wooty gift to little nosy dachshunds. :)

daily agenda

...and after we look for strawberries and tomatoes in my pots on the deck, we can walkie to the creek and while we are there we could have a picnic and look for bunnies and then we can come back home and open the windows to bark at the people walking by and then dad can join us for our evening walkie and of course we will have dinner and then i will sleep with u on the sofa and if i am lucky i might get another snackie and then we will brush my teeth and then we all will go to bed!

- baxter, 5.4 years old,  bright eyed and perky eared, and even not when asked, always ready with an idea on how we should spend our day. :)

feelin dozy

Even though the little kiebasa wanted to stay wide awake to bark at the late afternoon passers by, tiny chumley and his little noggin nodded in and out of dreamland yesterday, the result of having missed out on a full night's sleep thanks to overnight thunderstorms.

ooo me so sleepy! mom, i will do my best to listen but if i fall asleep, u will wake me up when you see something i should bark at, wontchoo? :)

no thank u

no thank u doctor tushie man.  there is no need to put me on the table, really.  i am very comfortable right here and my neck feels just fine.  :) :)

- baxter, 5.4 years old, hoping to pass off a partial white fib in hopes of avoiding the veterinary inevitable.


Yep, it's true. Baxter's momentary moments of pain made a small comeback appearance - once on this past Weds which prompted his vet visit, and once we think on Sunday though neither big boyfriend or I saw what he was exactly doing to know for sure if what we heard was indeed a  quick pain yip.  And of course ever since then and between episodes the little chum's been acting quite normally.  We're monitoring the pain's frequency and duration to determine when best to pursue further diagnostic, but for now and under doc's orders, other than losing weight and playing nicely with his toyfriends, tiny chumley can continue living a low impact, pokey free lifestyle.  :)

tastes like peanut butter

o yummy yummy!

are you sure that my diet

starts today, boo hoo?

- baxter, 5.4 years old, on enjoying one last gelato hurrah before having to lose to 2.5 pounds to get back to the vet's recommended weight of 17.5 pounds. 

happy mother's day :)

 
okey dokey, i think mom's breakfast is ready!  time 2 wake her up and get her out of bed by telling her we barfed monkey chow all over the family room rug! 


- baxter & his toyfriends, various ages, on having picked flowers and saved their snackies from the past week so they could put together a breakfast tray for their mom on mother's day, and on hatching a plan on how to bring her to it since nobuddy could figure out how to bring it to her in bed without spilling it.

tin men

dear diary,
guess what!!  yesterday i met opie and andy taylor, u know, from the andy griffith show,  but boy are they nothing like i thought they would be - in fact i think they might be robots, which would be really cool, but i think they have been standing outside for so long that they rusted stiff, just like the tin man. so next time we go to the park i think i will try to remember a can of oil and see if that helps, bcuz i really want opie to take me to his fishing hole and i can help him dig for worms.

anyhoo my walkie was very nice and i hope u had a nice walkie too!

toodley-doo!!
b. :)

video playbox: sunshine day

Hee hee, some puppy was very happy he got to decide what we could do on yesterday's very sunny afternoon.  Wanna join us? :)

Hope you have a sunshiney weekend!! :)

come out come out wherever u are

o mister turrrrr-tle! i hope u will visit me this year!!!

- baxter, 5.4 years old, on happily hunting through the houttuynia yesterday in search for his barking friend mister turtle.

rapoopzel rapoopzel, let out your mighty bark

Especially now that tiny chumley doesn't have the elevated assistance of a kitty perch, I often catch passers by looking quizzically at our house when they first hear the little kielbasa barking at them from high up in his tower.  Squinting as they peer around, wondering who the mister noisy is, and often times giving up as they continue walking out of range.   And giving the little kielbasa full satisfaction of a job well done.

mom! didjoo see how i scared them off?  do u think it was my pearly white fangs or my super big hackles or my barking that did it??

Hmmmmmm.  Well, baby dog, maybe it was all three.  :)
 

mister bubbles

 

why, no, mom, i am not aware of anybuddy here who needs their nails done.  perhaps u meant the stinky bassets next door?

- baxter, 5.4 years old, with paws folded, and smelling fresh and clean from his after stinko de mayo bath. :)

eat stink dog duk

Hey everybuddy, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you today about the weenie roast & adoption festival this past Saturday, which I didn't know was even happening til after me n duk duk set up our Stinko de Mayo Stinkebration.  So my first ever visit to the weenie roast was brief but very fun all the same because as you might imagine there was still plenty of stink to enjoy.  And I found a giant tray of what I think was weenie soup that totally wished I could have enjoyed too but mom said I had to choose between it or Stinko de Mayo so I told my tummy sorry and moved on bcuz I heard my friend Miss Mandy from The Green Olive Pet Company might be there and I wanted to say hi before we ran out of time.

Anyhoo, this is me, excited and happy to be standing line for what I thought was the Poopley's Believe It or Not Giant Poopie Snakes of the World exhibit.  Bcuz u know, shouldn't every weenie festival have that?















But, just like the fella behind me, I was very disappointed to find out it was only a line for buying tee shirts.  The tees were cool and my dad bought one but still, u know.  Giant Poopie Snakes of the World Exhibit...

Lucky for me I did not have to stay disappointed for very long because even though I never did run into Miss Mandy,  I ran into the giant box of kibble samples that Miss Mandy left for everybuddy and I got to take one.  I have not tried it yet but before u fall over in disbelief let me tell u where mom and dad took me next. 











YESSSsss, strawberries! And the best part? We really did not have to pick them bcuz the strawberry farm already had picked ones u could buy so while I stayed in the car with my dad, mom got us a gimungous flat and next thing u know we were all headed back home and yeah you know I had to rest up on the ride back because not only were we going to raise a lot of stink once I got home, but there was going to be lucha and everything. 

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter hoping you had just as wonderful a weekend! :)

the stinkover

What's a puppy to do after a long day of stinkebrating for Stinko de Mayo?  Why, go down to the local gelato bar for a tiny cup of  k-9 krunchy peanut butter dairy free gelato of course.  Cure for the common stinkover. :)

stinkebration stagnation

dear diary,

well diary, here it is the wonderful morning of stinko de mayo and can u believe me and duk duk have not been able to start stinkebrating yet?? all bcuz mom said our guess whose foofie event from last year was so noxious that we now have to do anything stinky outside.  which is a bummer bcuz it is already hot out and only going 2 get hotter.  And even though i put the first tee  i could find so i would not get sunburned, mom says we have to wait til it gets cooler out and well, quite frankly, i am not sure how much longer me or duk duk can keep some forms of the stink we planned waiting if u know what i mean.  

anyhoo diary, i hope u are having a wonderful Stinko de Mayo Saturday and i look forward to hearing all about how u celebrated your day!

toodley-doo!

b. :)

20/20

Most years, after the squirrels and birds have taken their cut of the bounty,  tiny chumley is lucky if he harvests one, maybe two little malformed red strawberries, but I am always charmed by how he pleased he is with his little irregular finds, gobbling his treasure so quickly that I often wonder if he tastes them at all.

This year, I was almost certain he'd be able to harvest something respectable, a juicy red berry shaped berry that was, well, berry sized.  We'd been checking on his future prize all week, ooohing and ahhhing every morning at how big his nicely formed strawberry was getting before hiding the growing greenish white berry beside a white flat rock. Tiny chumley's hidden treasure.  The secret in our secret garden. 

But much to both our dismays, secrets always have a way of being found out. Yesterday morning we checked by the white rock and found a berryless nub.  And I found myself in front of a very disappointed little boy.

We foraged around in the pot.  There were other little miscroscopic berries forming, but none were as close to being ready for a little dachshund's tummy as the one we had been nurturing. Little rain clouds were forming over mister happy's tiny noggin.   Hmmm, I thought.  I guess it's time to make our own rainbow.

Baxter was still foraging around in the pot by the time I came back from inside the house, one hand slightly behind my back.  "Ooo, squirrel!" I declared with fingers crossed, and leaned over to work some magic while the little kielbasa scanned his backyard.

With no real squirrel threat to address, Baxter's attentions quickly refocused on the strawberry crime scene.

"Oops, false alarm.  Sorry baby dog.  But hey - what's that - right there, under the leaf? Is that what I think it is? "

oooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!

"Oh no jumping! Here let me get it for you..."

o yummy!! mom, how did we miss this one?  boy do we need new glasses!

Hee hee, yep baby dog, I guess we do. :)

dog on a hot wood deck

Even though summer doesn't officially start until June 20th this year, here at our house, with a little boy happily baking out back on the deck and the faint smell of roasted wiener dog gently perfuming the air, summer started yesterday.  :)

u r invited : stinko de mayo

 Hey everybuddy, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, only today I am not reporting to you, I'm inviting you, to me n duk duk's first ever worldwide Stinko de Mayo celebration on this Saturday, May 5th.  Now, you may not know about the ancient Mayo aliens that visited our planet long ago, but we do, because we just turned in a report on them for our history class  (thank goodness for dukkipedia!).  Anyhoo, the aliens chose to land in what we now call Mexico 5 gajillion years ago on May 5th and needless to say because their journey was so long that when the door to their spacecraft opened, well, let's just say the only thing that people remember about them other than introducing poopie snakes into the planet's ecosystem is how stinky they were.  And just as quickly as the Mayo aliens came, they left! And although the people of earth were very sad to see the Mayo aliens go, they were equally happy that their stink was gone and that the they left such wonderful poopie snakes.  So to honor this occasion they carved out a great canyon in the arid region of what was then upper Mexico,  and vowed to celebrate this occasion annually on the day of their arrival, May 5th.  Only for some reason as millions of years passed, people forgot about this wonderful holiday and not very much is known about how it is celebrated.  So yeah u know after reading all that we had to do something about it.  Only we thought, why limit the celebration to Mexico when the whole world can celebrate? So this Saturday, May 5th, me and duk duk hope you will join us in celebrating this very special day in however fashion you see fit.  And, we even created a Stinko de Mayo facebook event so u can put it on your  calendar and everything!  Just remember though, as the surgeon general reminds us,  please stink responsibly.

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you a very happy Wednesday !! :)





 

where there's a will, there's a dachshund

There aren't many things I'd say the little kielbasa misses about being in the pokey, except for maybe the one thing that now motivates him every morning to be my noisy little under the desk foot warmer.

moooooom, he'll gently whine like a slow leaking air mattress,  sometimes even putting a paw on my foot for extra emphasis, whhhhy isn't it tiiiiiiime for lunchhhh yeeeeet?

"Hush baby dog," I'll tell him as I rub his furry little head and comfort him, "lunch will be here soon enough and leaking air isn't going to make it come any faster."

Quiet, for all of 30 seconds before the leaking begins again. mooooom, whyyyyy caaaan't lunchhh be nooooooow?

"Ba-by doogg," I'll say with what I think to be the singsongy voice of authority.  "Enough alreadeeeee"

moooo-oo-ooom!, he'll leak back, putting his head on my foot so he'll be sure to know if I decide to move elsewhere.

 "Baby doggg" moo-oo-oom! "Baby dooggg!" moo-o-ooom!"Bay-bee doooggg!" mooooo-ooo-om!...

I'm not sure I can tell you how long this back and forth lasts without thoroughly embarrassing myself, but so far, I've been able to outlast the little kielbasa's willful leaking til sure enough, eventually there is silence. But oddly, lunch seems to be getting earlier and earlier these days.... :)