it’s my birthday and i’ll chomp if i want to :)

...12...13...14! oooOOOOooooo! i smell fourteen carrot candles!!  and blueberries and tomatoes and mmmmmmeat! i definitely smell meat!! hee hee, okay, first, a wolf must make his birthday wish ....

and then, a wolf must patiently wait for his toyfriends to arrive... even if they are a little late.. tho...maybe,  they will not notice just a tiny nibble from the back side here. just, one tiny itty bitty little nibble that nobuddy will 

notice at all... 

hee hee well maybe just a tiny nibble more...

uh-oh... too late -

it’s chomping time!! :) 

today i am 14 :)

dear diary,

today i am fourteen years old, and i must tell u, i have never felt or looked as rawwier as i do now. my only hope is that later today at my birthday party, i get tons of presents and a delicious meat cake to match my ferociousness. anyhoo, what with today being my special day, mom said me and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy can do whatever we want and we chose to play guess whose foofie all day long. so i really must go because my bowels about to explode. in a good, i have been preparing or this all week long sort of way.  

tooldley-doo!

b. 

top secret

mom, if u r making my birthday crown, can u please make sure it is super ferocious? 

sleeping in :)

nopies, mom, i am pretty sure me and duk duk have the day off from school today. u know, like a personal choice holiday. :) 

better rawwrs and gardens

see, mom? the plant shelf is nice and all, but this room looks a lot better with some ferocious in it. :)

dog gone good beer :)

sure, mom, i will hold your ponytail holder for u. but maybe in exchange can u make sure everybuddy knows about the supercool and very magical seven teeny weenie sleigh mecharamas we will be dooting this cyber brown wednesday at noon abd nine on eastern standard time? and maybe show them two of the nine incredibly awesome etched and patinated dachshund necklaces we will also be dooting? and maybe if it ever gets sunny enough to take good pictures for the listings, maybe just maybe we can also doot a few of the super experimental tooled leather ornaments we helped u make, using that incredible vintage doxie stamp u have? :) 

happy eatsgiving :)

..and i am grateful for duk duk, chocobot, lulu the tiger, lil pink puppy... and all my friends in cyber world... and..the little misses..gummy worms...and...blah blah blah blah blah...peace on earth...u know, all that junk and stuff. 

okay, now may i please have some turkey before duk duk comes back from his swimmy swim? 

meanwhile in other future doot makeys

um, just dyeing some paper for me and duk duk’s next genius idea. o, which reminds me, mom, may we use some of your dye...that we...are already using? :)

picture perfect :) DOOT TODAY

There’s always something to be learned with a dachshund in the house. Their mix of stubborn and adorable, of perseverance and determination.  It usually means they get their way. Like, practically all the time. Because they have mastered the art of being patiently impatient. Because, in the garbled words of Captain America, I can do impatient all day. 

That’s pretty much what tiny chumley was telling me from the moment I grabbed some extra kibble for our photo shoot for today’s wooly bear hat doot. My objective? Cute well posed photos of a patient little wolf modeling . adorable hats . For today’s doots. His objective?  Snackies. In my mouth. Now. 

A hand full of hastily handed out snackies later, I reviewed the photos I took of my little hat wearing model, and realized that most of them weren’t quite exactly the perfectly posed little boy looking into the camera photos of yore.  And yet, chock full of personality, they were more perfect than any perfectly posed photo could be. 

And so the listings for today’s wooly bear hat doots at noon and nine pm eastern standard time will have a happy mix of posed and less posed shots. Because being perfect is overrated. And being imperfect? Well, that is everything.  And I hope these hats help your little wolves achieve perfect holiday photo imperfection, too. :) 

bouncy bouncies

hee  hee, um, nopies, mom, me and duk duk have not finished our sunday chores yet. but, may i please finish doing bouncy bouncies with dad first? we are almost at the part where he blasts me off to the ceiling and then i try not to hurl on the way back down. :)

lumpy smelly

hmmmmmmmm....(sniff sniff)....

...hmmmmmmmmmm...(sniff sniff)...uh-oh..

um, mom, u didn’t happen to wash my blankie did u? the lumpy one? the lumpy smelly one? the one i asked y not 2 wash because it may or may not have been hiding my secret stash of uknowwhats? 

wednesdae

hee hee, well, dad and i were stinking maybe today we could go for a walkie to the ice cream store. u know, for a gummy worm sundae. because wednesdays are the new sundaes :) 

one foot forward :)

what, mom? how come? well, u see..

..a wolf always has to be ready to take action. u know, like to run, or to pounce, or to stalk, or to chomp. anything ferocious really. it all starts with one foot forward. always. :)

dance lesson

hee hee, sure mom, i can show u how to dance the swoopie poopie. first, u put your left paw out, wag your tail, and, well i think u might know the rest ... :)

it came from above

the little dachshund had been patiently sitting by the front door, convinced as he always was that something interesting was bound to happen if he waited long enough.  

his tummy started to rumble. i know that technically it is past our yesterday dinner time but today is today, mister tummy. and today time is different than yesterday time. so we still have another hour to go before mom will give us our meal. besides, something tells me that if we leave now we totally will be missing out on ... hey do i hear the same humming i do? 

no sooner did the little dachshund ask the question than it appeared before him, a small, buzzy craft cautiously hovering up the steps, awed by the ferociousness it had just spied. 

hee hee, why smello, mister alien craft! do not worry i will not chomp you. and please, come inside, we have much to discuss. :)

windy day :)

see, mom? i am not blowing away at all. so now maybe can i go dig in the backyard and finish the foundation for me and duk duk’s new wolf and falcon cave? 

root cellar

the little dachshund sneaked over to the kitchen, opening the cabinet under the sink for the eleventy hundredth time. 

hee hee, yeppies, it still works!, he thought to himself as the light from the cabinet limned the shadows of his sausagey body. every single time i open the door. like clockwork really, only lights - especially not motion sensor ones - lights are not anything like clocks, so i guess maybe i should say ..well, whatever really. all that matters is that it comes on and goes off. absolutely perfect-o! 

and with one last giggle, the little dachshund started emptying the cabinet, hoping to make room for the most magnificent of his overwintering poopie snake masterpieces.  

pandemoween

well, maybe instead of trick or treating this year, we can just buy the mega bags of candy we like and eat it ourselves.  

when a wolf wants 2 know

hee hee hee. hmmmm....hmmmmm...

nopies, no buttons or switches anywhere....i wonder if maybe i ...

o smello, mom. i was just..um.. well.. okay, i guess i am just gonna ask it...how can i get this thing to smell the way it smells when u and dad sit on it? 

hot cross buns :)

even though it would be another year before the tushie man visited again, the little dachshund felt it was best he stayed prepared. :)