today i am fifteen :)

(pfweeooOooOoooofweeeeooooOOOOooooOooooOooooOOOOooooOooooooooOOOooooOoooOooOoooOoooooOoooOOOOooOoOOOooooOoOOOOOOooooOooot!)

hee hee hee hee! o yeah, twenty days of eating nothing but fizzy fermented monkey chow smoothies have totally paid off. try and top that, my ferocious frien- uh oh.  smello?  first one 2 say foofie gets a bag of gummy worms. nobuddy? hee hee, totally gassed out! anybuddy? smello? 

um, mom, seeing as how everybuddy is unconscious, maybe we should wait on the group photo and do my individual birthday portrait first. :) 

early and only :)

hee hee hee, race car red for the win! and lovely new bowls and even a new kitchen bed. so luckee this wolf is! i wonder what i did to - hmmmm…. uh oh. 

mom, these are really nice and all, butt, they are not, like, my early and only birthday presents, are they?? 

o christmas me 2.0

…o christmas me, o christmas me, how smelly are thy poopies! o christmas me, o christmas me, how smelly are thy poopies! forever brown, and snakey shaped, an odor that you can’t escape! o  christmas me, o christmas meeeeeeeeeee, how smelly are thy poooooo-peeeeeeees!

hee hee okay, mom, that’s the last verse. now may we please goto the store and get some brown duct tape like u promised? part of the whole 2.0ing of christmas me is so we can make the leftover swirly light into a poopie u know. :) 

totally maybe :)

hee hee hee , oooooooOOOOoooOOooOooo! finally!!!

pick one??? what do u mean i cannot have them all?? okay fine…

gnom gnom gnom.. hmm… maybe… 

gnom gnom gnommmy gnom. gnom gnom. slurp slurp…. okay a solid maybe also. on the station and on each of the different bowls. 

slurp slurp slurpey slurp. definitely maybe, but…hmmmmmmmmm….

mom, rather than pretending, dontchoo think it would be better if i try each setup with actual kibble and stuff? 

loose lips stink ships, or, how to get ahead on cyber brown wednesday :)

hee hee hee, okay dad, i will tell u but u have to keep it a peecret. it is quite simple really…

our first doot will be at noon eastern standard time and our second doot will be at nine pm eastern standard time. during each doot, me and duk duk plan to offer a whole 6 instant gazillionaire adventurer’s wallets (instant because we will be including one very precious eleventy zillion bags of gummy worms bank note, and one very important poooie snake credit card), 3 full trio sets of teeny weeny wonderlands magical poops +planets series (they are numbered uno dos tres and so on) , and there will be teeny weeny wonderlands which can be ordered individually under their particular squadron sector,  which also corresponds to what is printed on the front side on the blue background and indicates how many trees are in each display - cachinnant (one big one little tree) , tempus (three little trees), and ergo amici (one big tree). and because they are all different, these individual teeny weeny wonderland boxes have their own designation, alpha, beta, gamma, delta, and so on. additiona l ferociousification may be selected when ordering from the drop down. one can choose to enjoy them as is, or add a mystery pee spot, a hidey poop, or both a mystery pee spot and a hidey poop. 

this is our amazing first doot selection . and even tho mom made us offer pink, well, me and duk duk made sure it was decootiefied.

and see? here is what i was saying - the top three are the sets for the first doot and then bottom shows boxes alpha thru iota which may be ordered individually under each squadron listing cachinnant thru ergo amici. 


and this is our equally impressive second doot selection! hee hee, u might notice that the majority of wallets here are actually mostly colored after certain ferocious animals u already know. there would have been a more me now colored one but the gray leather mom ordered was not skived down to the thickness she needed so we can just pretend i am still baby poooie brown. 

i really like how all our magical planets turned out, dontchoo? the teeny weenies look so happy to be spreading the pee and poop joy! 

so, anyhoo, yeppies, that is it. hee hee so simple, right? o, one more thing - we made a timey wimey doot time translator chart. so our friends living elsewhere can finally figure out when the doot starts! 

hee hee okay so now that’s it really. i hope u can keep a secret, dad, because this cyber brown wednesday will be so pooptacular! now can we go downstairs and eat a block of cheese before mom comes back? :) 

just add money :)

dear diary, 

as u might can imagine, me and duk duk managed to use up a lot of mom’s toner printing all the money we needed to run our day to day fun. so, then we thought, why not print up credit cards? because then we can spend even more and not have to worry about anything. except for maybe how to keep together our money and our credit card and my pedal driver’s license, and well, everything for when we go on our adventures. so that is why me and duk duk asked mom to help us make the gazillionaire adventurer’s wallet, a slim, minimalist 4 pocket wallet hand stitched with the finest vegetable tanned italian leather scraps! and i am so excited to tell u that we liked ours so much, that we asked her to make some for cyber brown wednesday so our friends can enjoy them, too.  i really like them a lot because the slots look like hills and mountains, and of course there are teeny weenies running all amongst them. o! and, to add to the genius of our idea, every wallet ordered on cyber brown wednesday will come with its very own eleventy zillion gummy note and poopie snake credit card, so you or your lucky gift receiving recipient can become an instant gazillionaire, just like us. hee hee, welcome to the club. 

anyhoo, here is a peek at a few of the card wallets we will be offering and do not be alarmed if we do not blog posty regularly this week, what with us being busy making etsy listings and then eating and well, mostly eating really. which reminds me, i would also like 2 wish u a very happy thanksgiving! okay now i really must sign off and help mom with the listings before duk duk’s family arrives. 

toot-dley doo!

b :)

hee hee, and i thought they were pretty on the front side :) 

wolf tank :)

well, mom, that is the family discount rate. two chomps are usually fifteen bags of gummy worms each. as it is now, u may have two toesie chomps and kiss my tummy for only 10 bags. or, 8 if u pay the difference in cherry tomatoes. :) 

tiny present :)

ooOOOOooooOooOo! a package for me!

hee hee, i do not have my glasses on to read the note  but i can totally smell i mean tell it is from my friend miss debbi!

and looky, she wrapped it so nicely… in christmas paper. gee, i guess this means technically i should wait to open it for at least, o, eleventy more weeks then.  sigh, if only santa was not watching. hmmmm….hmmm…

o i know!

hee hee, a wolf cannot help it if his present accidentally opens while he moves it to his heat cave for safe keeping. :) 

under where :)

hee hee, um, well, just being super nakey stealthy and hoping u will drop a snackie, mostly. 

nakey lunch

tiny chumley had a dental cleaning and a few bumps removed yesterday, nothing worthy of labs but things that the tushie man felt could require attention in the future, when our little wolf would be older and less spry and less capable of handling surgical intervention. better to take these things off when he’s strong and healthy, and his blood work and stats are fine, the tushie man said. which made total sense to all of us, save the little four legged boy who probably would have been happier noping and napping his way through yesterday. 

sheesh next time, mom, well let’s just say there does not need to be a next time . although the staying home from school for the next two weeks and me being nakey nakey parts are fine. and the xtra snackies :) 

secretaries of the treasury

hee hee, no, u stink more, duk duk! no wait, i mean i stink more! u? no, i stink more!  hee hee, no, i stink more! 

okay, can we just agree to disagree because we really need to finish this before mom gets home and finds out we used her printer again without asking. i mean, seriously, how can she think that projects like this are a waste of toner? this is probably like, the most genius and mature thing we have ever come up with, really, what with this paper currency being the ultimate representation of a fungible, fiscally responsible financial system, backed by gummy worms. which are probably like, the most stable valuable commodity like, ever really. this money, our money, will be more valuable than gold. more valuable than kibble. more valuable than - dare i say it? even more valuable than poopie snakes. waste of toner indeed! why, when we are done printing our money, we can buy mom even more toner than she ever needed! that’s the power of gummy worms, yessiree. 

hee hee, what’s that, duk duk? o yeppies, let’s print a zillion more sheets before she gets home so we can be gazillionaires. :)  

u say candy i say banana :)

hmmmm….hmmmmm…hmmmm…

well, are u sure it was halloween candy wrappers?  because usually that sort of thing happens with a banana peel. which me and duk duk were definitely not eating yesterday night. :) 

reTreat Tuesday :)

hee hee, yeppies, definitely still as ferocious as sunday.  okay everybuddy now remember, the whole reason why we agreed not to eat our candy haul and get all dizzy like we usually do is so we can go back out today and offer to take everyone’s leftover halloween candy off their hands. timing is everything, really. because if u try late on sunday people will be like nopies go away we are going to eat all of it, but by monday they will be like, wow the room is starting to spin and by tuesday , well by today they will be like, i think i’m going to hurl, please, take all of it! which is why we all have to be in peak physical form because i think we will get at least eleventy hundred pounds on our street alone! hello? u guys know  i can’t turn my head down with this thing on - why isn’t anybuddy saying anything??

 

aw great.  some buddies just couldn’t refrain from helping themselves to some candy after all, could they? well, i can’t pedal by myself.  now how am i gonna get all the candy home? ? hmmmmm. o i know..

mom, can i borrow your phone so i can uber a dump truck? :) 

happy ferocious joyful :)

Sometimes the best a little wolf can do is quietly wait until it is time for him to once again become the beacon of all that is happy, ferocious, and joyful. :) 

plans within plans :)

um, well, u see, if u leave the tub filled after u r done, me and duk duk may or may not need to finish what we started. after u turned on the water and apparently walked away while it was filling. but before u got in. because, well, in retrospect i guess it is kind of funny really, us stinking i mean thinking that nobuddy was going to get in the tub and u know, that the water was just filling the tub for no reason really. except for me and duk duk to do what we may or may not have done. that we are hoping to finish. um, u r planning to shower after your bath, right, mom? 

sleepy tongues of the week :)

:)