under the bus

hee hee hee. omg, duk duk, i am really impressed with how these turned out.

i mean, just look at them. and they are stickers, too. yeah, i think we should print at least eleventy gazillion more, too. this sprocket thingy is so cool.

uh-oh, i think i hear mom’s car!
(shuffle shuffle shuffle)

why hello, mom. looky - while u were gone we made u a sticker of us for your car so that way we are always with u even when we are not. can me and duk duk help u bring in the groceries? i am certain u must be tired. not that u look it or anything. u look fresh as a poopie snake. i mean, in a good fresh made sort of way. not like a poop mushie or anything.

wait, what’s that? take the sticker picture now? well, um....o i forgot , can u give duk duk a bath first? he really stinks because i think he stepped in uknowwhat and well, i know how u do not like us being stinky and all... :)

told the pet sprocket

yes, mother, do not worry about a thing. we know it is only borrowed and we promise not to touch it in any way whatsoever until u get back from the grocery store. poops honor. okay, we love u, too. bye bye.

is she gone? hee hee hee, right? like, seriously, it’s a bluetooth device. why would we even need to touch it? okay, duk duk, u go get the tripod while i pair up and then we can get this party started...

lessons unlearned :)

kaaack! kaaaack! hee hee hee. fooowhee, even with my mask on that was a doozy and a half, duk duk. thank goodness we made sure fresh air is only a tent flap away. what’s that? o, yeppies, i totally agree. although even if we could get gjetost, i am not really sure there will be a next time because technically we promised mom that we would never play guess whose foofie inside the house again much less in the bedroom where we all sleep at night. hee hee, yeah, i guess we do make that promise every time. but seriously how could she expect us not to play after she made us this incredible blankie fort? it’s pretty much like she was telling us to play, right? i mean - uh-oh, i hear mom coming...

um, mom, before u lose consciousness from the overwhelming stench we just made, me and duk duk just wanted to tell u..whoops, there she goes. too late.


u know, u think she’d have learned by now to put her gas mask on before she starts looking for us.

happy valentine’s day :)

well, mom, i mean, we were just wondering..

i mean since u did such a nice job with mine and all...and, well, on account of u not letting us stay home on seriously like the most contagious and cootieriffic of all days...

well, before we goto school today we were wondering if u could make duk duk some cootie protection too. :)

have chompers will chomp :)

mom, u got anything else that needs expert wolf fixing? :)

save the doot date: baxter and duk duk’s cootie protection cyber craft fair (just in time for valentine’s day) :)

dear diary,
have u ever found yourself in the awkward position of being surrounded by cooties and having no way to escape them? have u ever wished u could always have protection from cootie infested uknowwhos who will never understand how to go stand over there, without having to constantly get more and more anti-cootie vaccinations? do your anti-cootie booster shots seem less effective lately? well, do not worry, my friends, because me and duk duk have got u covered with all the super cool cootie protection items that we have made for our first ever cootie protection cyber craft fair.

that’s right, just in time for valentine’s day, we will be dooting in very limited supply a variety of items we designed and helped mom make to help protect u from cooties, capitalizing not only on the protective powers of smell and fun..

but also the mystical powers of amulets, which we made in a variety of shapes so that they will be perfect for keeping in your pocket or putting around your neck. here u see one we will be making into a necklace.

anyhoo, i suppose i should get back to helping mom finish the amulets, so, i would like to close my saying i hope u r able to save the date and join us for our cootie protection cyber craft fair doot this tuesday the 6th at nine pm eastern standard time! :)

toodley-doo!
b :)

what ever happened to duk duk monday

okay, now remember, duk duks, technically, u all are not supposed to be out at the same time, so it is very important that u stay out of sight unless it is your day to be out. which is why, when mom comes back from the library with duk duk monday and they pull in the driveway, i will go down to greet and distract them while you two sneak into the car and get the bag of potatoes that hopefully duk duk monday was able to secretly purchase from the convenience store next door. duk duk thursday and duk duk friday will meet u out back to help u hide the bag under the deck for now and then we will all regroup back in the heat cave to figure out how we can move the potatoes to the kitchen island without mom knowing so we can finally restart project putrescent. :)

puffy jacket weather

what?? i am not too big. i just look puffy because i am wearing the down jackie mom got me. and beaide, some dukkie should thank his luckee stars its not filled with his feathers, thank you.

now make way make way, let a wolfie in. it's freezing out-

(kaaack) here. foo-whee! omg, people, decency much? i mean, serously. it smells like, like.. fermented cheese in there . (kaaack).

hee hee, everybuddy knows to make a stink really spectacular u need the nuanced notes produced by a ferocious carnivore's biome. now lemme in quick cuz i think this instant pot's about to blow. :)

baxter and duk duk's infinite christmas playlist

okay, that one..o, maybe a million times. no wait, a million and one times.

hee hee, what's that, duk duk? oh yes, by apples in stereo. i will look that one up next.

oh no, not again! seriously why bother even making an app for something that may as well be easier and more reliable if u trained a monkey to do it using punch cards and an abacus.

now we have 2 start all over again.

boy, i sure hope santa appreciates how busy we been spending all this time trying to stay good. how many days is it til christmas again??

spa day

hee hee, do not tell mom but u know, i think she was right.  these slippers are so cozy and perfect for lounging around after a long day's pedaling to and from school.  and putting mom's face cream on my paws beforehand? pure genius! already i can tell my pads will be smoother than a baby's blankie. what's that? oh yeah, we totally need amend our christmas list and ask santa for two jars of that gooey stuff. one for us and one 2 re-replace the nilly frosting we substituted in mom's jar so she would worry about what hap-

oh, why, hello mom. u look lovely and hydrated today. wait, what was that? oh.  nopies we have not been in your bathroom at all today. in fact, we have just been sitting here being good for goodness sake really. why do u ask? :)

today i am eleven :)

hee hee hee, ooOOOooooOooo! i smell blueberries and i smell strawberries and i smell carrots and i smell chicken and i smell duc- i mean, i smell watermelon..mom may i please open my eyes now?

oooOOOOOoooOOOOoooooOOOoo! it is even taller and deliciouser looking then i ever imagined! :)

hypopetically speaking :)

well...i kind of see your point about the work and all, mom, but...well...

if santa brought us a manatee, we could name him hugh and it would totally be worth it, dontchoo think? :)

o christmas glee

hee hee, okay mom, turn it on..

ooOoooOOOOoOooooooOooo!

thanks, mom! this is exactly what we wanted. now we just need to put a red ballie on top and it can dry while we are at school. and then, when we get home, we will make our masterpoop video and then we can post it this evening and everything! :)

black friday :)

do not worry, mom, we have it all figured out. here, let us show u. duk duk, u know what to do - wolf and falcon assemble!

hee hee hee - hey hey - no pokesies back there, duk duk, unless u wanna unleash the olfactory equivalent of poopnarok... again. hee hee, i know! i wonder what mon puts in the turkey brine. or maybe it was the sausage stuffing. and the sweet potatoes. all that fiber. its pretty much nature's gunpowder really, hee hee hee. what? oh, ok okay.

see mom? snug as a smooshed poopie snake in sneaker treads. no way we will get separated. now will u take us to the wally world so we can buy an eleventy hundred inch led ultra high def 4k hd tv for the heat cave?

(ps - do not forget about our own little cyber brown wednesday event! we have been busy behind the scenes with a very special makey for it. oh and we are not sure exactly when we will be dooting yet but maybe probably in the evening and hopefully that gives us time to preview a few things in either or monday or wednesday morningblog posty :) )

mega sunday teeny christmas weenie tree doot :)

hee hee yeppies, mom, in addition to our classic teeny weenies on glittery snow covered birch slab base in tiny double and single tree style in either pretty natural or festive green colors, me and duk duk made the more of the biggie smalls tree and we even expanded our selection of super adorable modern leather wrapped block bases and we even have a few double weenie ones too! and u can choose the topper u want and in addition to being able to add ornaments, for the biggie smalls we are thinking maybe u can choose to add a poop on the stoop and everything! well, probably - me and duk duk have a lot to do before our sunday doot at nine pm eastern standard time. and it might take us a little while to fill orders bc the trees are customizable, but do not worry we will promise we will fill each and every order so that way we can take it easy the week of thanksgiving :)

happy halloween :)

hee hee hee, yeah, duk duk, mom really did a super job with it didn't she?

whodathunk it is only papier mache! yeah i know this year's costume is really genius. even if people actually figure out who i am, they really will not know Who I am after chocobot does his thing, right??

 okay, first, lemme take my collar off and make sure the specs are what we specified in our drawings..

hee hee, yep,  i think this will work just fine really. 

well, i guess there is no time like the present. okay chocobot, remember if this is gonna hurt u need to give me fair -