Showing posts with label dogfriends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dogfriends. Show all posts

Monday, April 29, 2019

pee eee arrrgh esss oh enn aaay ell esss pee aaay see eee

so, um, yeah, one of the main protection points in the daytime is the front door and seeing as how your fluffy butt is gonna b here for i guess a panty while,  maybe u can watch it while i help mom make some
stuff for our doot. but just remember, well u might not see it from where u r standing, but there is a blind spot over here in that corner and so u really have to - 

hey hey! per-son-al space, cassie. pee eee arrrgh esss oh enn aaay ell esss pee aaay see eee. personal space. 

sheesh! thank u. okay now where was i? 

Wednesday, April 24, 2019


okay, well, u will not be upstairs for long, right? okay..then i guess so. well, i promise i will try. but please do not take forever. i had hardly any time to..

hee hee, o looky.  speak of the azor poophai. the poop that was promised.  the poopsatz panterach. smela, goddess of stink. hee hee hee. u know the rules, cassie. fee fi fo hurl! i smell the stink of a cootie girl! whoforth ever so panty dares to traipse on the sacred ramp of ferocious wolfiness shall suffer the -

hey hey, i said whoforth ever dares to - 

i said -  aw come on! this ramp is only for - cassie u have plenty of space right over - 

moooom! can u please tell cassie my ramp is for little-  i mean ferocious wolves only?!?!?

Monday, March 4, 2019

young poopawan

uh, nopies, hankie. do not even think about it. this wolf’s neckmeat is completely off limits.  like infinity off limits. n - o - pee - eye- eee - s. in fact this wolf’s entire ferocious front half is a designated no chomping zone so if that is all u want to do, my little poopawan, then i suggest u leave this wolf alone and go elsewhere ... 


unless all u really mean to do is say smello and welcome, and to that end, i give u this piece of simple wolf wisdom:  real friends - hey are u listening? listen up.  real friends? real friends smell butts... 

...hee hee hee. :)

Friday, March 1, 2019


The little wolf happily munched away on his mid morning snackie, unaware that only moments later, his day would turn into an epic cootietastrophe. 

Friday, February 22, 2019

u deserve a break today

hey hey... hey mom..

do u think maybe we can itchday cootiecay pantymcay antspay and otogay the iikkychay iletfay? :)

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

nightmare on wolf street

o m g. this. cannot. be. happening. again.

Monday, February 18, 2019

elbow to elbow

seriously, cassie? i mean, it’s not even a question worth debating.  look. elbow to elbow. mine are smaller, nimbler, much more efficient mover of earth and stones. besides tracking in mud and leaves what do your crazy fluffy legs do of value? zilcho. nada. no thingy or thingies. u cannot even hold a snackie bone and gnaw on it without needing to borrow a giraffe’s neck... ugh, fine. we can ask her but make it snappy because chocobot’s cootie proximity protection spell is sizzling in overdrive and this wiener wolf does not want another bath just because mom thinks i smell when we both know - oh wait, here she is..

mom, dontchoo think my legs are like eleventy zillion times more ferocious than cassie’s? 

Friday, September 21, 2018

cooties from heaven

Nobody really goes about their day thinking about the space above their head.  I mean, yeah, it's there.  And if a noisy bird flies by or say a rainbow appears, yeah, I look up.  But usually, my days are all about looking at eye level or below.  Actually, with tiny chumley in the house, it's pretty much always below, unless I am walking somewhere, or talking or looking at big boyfriend.  But my point us, the minutiae of life doesn't require us to be constantly attentive to that space up there.
Except maybe for tiny chumley, who often looks up in hopes that it would rain snackies from heaven. Subtract food from the equation, however, and he's like the rest of us, happily doing whatever he's doing at tiny chumley level, until something happens that makes him ever so aware that something awful just happened, in that space way up there. :)

Friday, August 17, 2018

the ruffled grouse

“ stranger to ferociousness, the ruffled grouse, whose scientific name is bonasa umbellus, may be a dumb bell away up north, where they say that, when flushed, he flutters to a nearby limb and sits there, rubbernecking like a rube on a broadway bus.” hmmmm... “ blah blah, blah blah blah blah...”

“...blah blah long pants, which as the neighbors say, smells just like blah blah blah.” hee hee hee. “but the blah blah may be even lying right next to u, blah blah blahing up the whole room. and yet some say the grouse still has to blah blah to the blah blah panty pants because his mom is making him do it, solely on the unreasonable account of some blah blah falcon blabbing about the ruffled grouse not starting his summer blah blah reading yet...”

“...but hopefully the blah blah panty pants is way too dopey 2 even notice that the most of what the ruffled grouse is reading is - “

Thursday, May 18, 2017

while i protested, bleak and scary

stay with us? seriously??? here?? for a few hours? mom, just one cootie, one single cootie, has an infection radius of 50 meters. that means anyone standing within 50 meters of a contaminated individual has a one hundred percent chance - one hundred percent chance - of becoming infected. not to mention the cootie's rate of cellular mitosis is unparalleled to even the most virulent of infectious diseases. the justinian plague, the black plague, the bubonic plague - they will all look like minor colds compared to what can happen in just five minutes with her in this room. that's why the infected have to stand way over there and that's why SHE has to stand way over there. dontchoo understand, mom???

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

once upon a morning wary...

(sniff sniff...sniff sniff) (sniff...sniff) mother, why do i smell cooties wafting in from the hallway under our bedroom door?

(to be continued..)

Friday, December 18, 2015

thank u please

 wait wait, okay I'm ready, mom...
Dear Miss Saundra, Cocoa n Emmy,
Thank you for the lovely and very funny holiday towels. Not only was it very thoughtful but I really like the detailed embroidery on it and it will be a perfect merry addition to greet our guests in the power room of me and duk duk's heat cave.  Also, I really really appreciate that u did not include any cooties on them.  I know it must be difficult, Cocoa and Emmy, on account of your naturally having lots and lots of cooties, but you did a wonderful job standing over there and me and duk duk thank u for that as well. 
Your Grateful Friend, Baxter. :)


okay, mom, i finished my thank u to miss saundra n cocoa n emmy. now can i have the treats they sent me? 

please? :) :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

wolf wagon

hee hee, choo choo! hurry little miss sarah! we have to catch up!! choo choo! almost there...almost there... 

hee hee, yeah, so this is my anti cootie mobile and over there is where u stay, Cassie. like, do not even bother thinking about coming over here 2 lick me  because all I have to do is pull my head in and zip the flap and voila, nana nana boo boo. so do not even try it, nosiree.

choo choo! choo choo! hee hee yep, what a great idea this was. I am totally protected from big dogs, panty dogs, barky dogs, girl dogs that do not know how to stay over there (hint hint present company included). I mean seriously, what's not to love about..oo hey...

um, Cassie, can u please poop on that leaf for me? :)

Monday, September 7, 2015

the cassieodrama strain

nope nope nopies nope. not gonna happen nope nope no thank u nope nope nopies, cooties...nope nope nopies, she's gonna...nope nope no thank u no picture is worth - nope I really think we should..

eeeks incoming! incoming! bwoop bwoop! someone activate emergency contamination protocol Cassie-alpha-8 and tell duk duk to get my shower cap and fill the bath immediately with undiluted maximum strength anti-cootie formula!! bwoop bwoop!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2014


dear diary,
there is only one thing scarier for me to show you this wednesday before halloween and since me and duk duk's costumes are still #topsecretSCARY,  today i am showing you the kind of scary i like to call #dangerSCARY, because any second now, my neighbor puppy friend cassie could come up and lick you, or jump on you, or roll you, or slobber all over you. and you would most definitely get covered in cooties.  these are all of the kinds of dangerous and scary things that could happen to you, when you enter ...the Cassie Zone. 

doo-bee-doo-doo, doo-bee-doo-doo,
b. :)

Monday, October 27, 2014

personal sheeshus

Sometimes all a little boy can do when things don't go his way is cope, as only a little boy can. :)

Monday, September 22, 2014

mega movie tease monday: little gladiators

dear diary,
this past weekend i went to my puppy friend hank's house and something tells me once he settles down a little more on the chompy chomp, he and i will be very good friends.  how do i know? well, because he and i are already planning to make our first feature film together.  u know, something that will feature lots and lots of action and probably gladiators and lions and u know, stuff like that.

in fact, we went ahead and made a demo trailer.  it's a little rough and the trailer ends abruptly,  but as Poop T Barnum said, always leave them wanting more.  

b. :)

Monday, September 1, 2014

my new friend hank :)

dear diary,
today i finally got to meet lulu's mom's new puppy and my new doxie puppy friend, hank! hank is now twelve weeks old and weighs five pounds and needless to say he is a real squeebert and neither of us could stay still long enough for pictures, so i decided to show you some videos from our first brunchmas playdate, which i figured u might want to see again and again and again so i posted them as viney videos.  all in all we had a lot of fun and the little misses came over and held him and everything! next time we visit together i think i will ask mom if she will make me a shark proof body suit because, well, let's just say that puppy teeth? well they are a whole lot sharper than u would think they are. especially when they are latched on to u like a crab on a finger, or in my case, a puppy on your neck meat.

anyhoo shark suit or not, i sure hope me and hank can get together and play again soon.  i have not yet seen his poopie snakes although mom says they are little peanuts, which would be a nice addition to our collection. 

happy labor day monday and toodleydoo!
b. :)

Sunday, May 18, 2014

stink marks the spot :)

hee hee, no need to be shy, frankie junior my puppy friend who lives in the next neighborhood. go ahead and let the force guide your nose to its destiny!

ooh your nose is cold, Frankie j! Houston, nasal docking procedure with lunar foofie module b.a.x. is a success.  repeat, nasal docking procedure with lunar foofie module b.a.x is a success. commencing second phase lunar module de-pressurization in three, two, one...(pfweeeeeoooeeeoooo!)

hee hee yeah u like it Frankie? the secret ingredient is canned stinky salmon. u should ask for it the next time your mom takes u to the pet store. not only does it make your poop stink, but if u r lucky u might also get the butt scooties. and, if for some reason u cannot find the salmon stuff, try eating some cat poop if u can find it. you will not get quite the same dry down as with the salmon stuff and the base notes are a little earthier, but the taste and texture pair well with both regular low fat kibble and gummy worms, so you can eat it either as a main course, a side, or even dessert.  what's that Frankie? yeah sure I can wait a sec.  I got a million of these so be sure to get your biggest one!

Frankie's gotta go back inside his house and get his pencil and notebook so he can write all ths down.  oh, if he's going back inside, that reminds me -

hey Frankie j! bring a couple of your toys and I will show you how to start your own secret club!! :)

Monday, May 12, 2014

iambic pooptameter :)

i do not play with girls -

but girls do play with me -

and so i stand here in the grass -


hoping that this too shall pass!

#namethatpoet :)