tooter hole :)

aw sheesh, cassie mc panty pants, it is too early in the morning for your smelly breathy breath. give a wolf a break already.   

besides, if u r gonna stink up the place, then u have to do it properly, from your tooter hole, not your pie hole. like this. 

(pfweeeooOooooOoooooOoooot!)

hee hee, see? putrid, with a touch of ferocious.  or as i like to call it, just another wednesday morning.   :) 

towering cootieferno :)

uh, exsqueeze me.  all panty mc panty pants stand way over there, remember?? sheesh! 

what happens in cootietown should really stay in cootietown

dear diary, 

sometimes in ferocious pursuit of something to fill his tummy, a wolf gets too close to the flame and as a result, accidentally catches a serious case of the cooties. on the plus side, a wolf gets to stay home even though school started this week. but on the minus side, while a wolf stays at home, his best toyfriend duk duk plans to plaster this picture all over school. and as a result, a wolf plans to pound his best toyfriend. sometimes things just have a way of working out, don’t they? :)

toodleypoo!

b. :)

socially distant :)

fine. if u r gonna be here for a while, cassie, i guess u may as well make yourself useful.  stand here and watch for bunnies, while i take my nap. a wolf needs his ferocious sleep, u know. 

but make sure to stay over there. i’ve already had like eleventy cootie shots and i still feel a little woozy because some slobbery mcpanty pants still thinks every water bowl she finds is communal. yessiree, a good nap is just what this wolf needs. remember, you stay over there cassie and it will be all be - 

aw great. 

schadenfoofie :)

aw great. 

mom, is it too late for me to sign up for summer school? 

butt for the sake of science

the little dachshund knew what he was doing was risky, but for the sake of science, and in hopes of being able to finally make a lasting, effective cootie vaccine, he sniffed.  :) 

cootietagion-19

aw great...

mom, i know they taste awful but do we have any more antibiotics left? 

pee eee arrrgh esss oh enn aaay ell esss pee aaay see eee

so, um, yeah, one of the main protection points in the daytime is the front door and seeing as how your fluffy butt is gonna b here for i guess a panty while,  maybe u can watch it while i help mom make some

stuff for our doot. but just remember, well u might not see it from where u r standing, but there is a blind spot over here in that corner and so u really have to - 

hey hey! per-son-al space, cassie. pee eee arrrgh esss oh enn aaay ell esss pee aaay see eee. personal space. 



sheesh! thank u. okay now where was i? 

poopnarok

okay, well, u will not be upstairs for long, right? okay..then i guess so. well, i promise i will try. but please do not take forever. i had hardly any time to..

hee hee, o looky.  speak of the azor poophai. the poop that was promised.  the poopsatz panterach. smela, goddess of stink. hee hee hee. u know the rules, cassie. fee fi fo hurl! i smell the stink of a cootie girl! whoforth ever so panty dares to traipse on the sacred ramp of ferocious wolfiness shall suffer the -

hey hey, i said whoforth ever dares to - 

i said -  aw come on! this ramp is only for - cassie u have plenty of space right over - 



moooom! can u please tell cassie my ramp is for little-  i mean ferocious wolves only?!?!?

young poopawan

uh, nopies, hankie. do not even think about it. this wolf’s neckmeat is completely off limits.  like infinity off limits. n - o - pee - eye- eee - s. in fact this wolf’s entire ferocious front half is a designated no chomping zone so if that is all u want to do, my little poopawan, then i suggest u leave this wolf alone and go elsewhere ... 

unless...

unless all u really mean to do is say smello and welcome, and to that end, i give u this piece of simple wolf wisdom:  real friends - hey are u listening? listen up.  real friends? real friends smell butts... 

...hee hee hee. :)

peripetia

The little wolf happily munched away on his mid morning snackie, unaware that only moments later, his day would turn into an epic cootietastrophe. 

u deserve a break today

hey hey... hey mom..

do u think maybe we can itchday cootiecay pantymcay antspay and otogay the iikkychay iletfay? :)

nightmare on wolf street

o m g. this. cannot. be. happening. again.

elbow to elbow

seriously, cassie? i mean, it’s not even a question worth debating.  look. elbow to elbow. mine are smaller, nimbler, much more efficient mover of earth and stones. besides tracking in mud and leaves what do your crazy fluffy legs do of value? zilcho. nada. no thingy or thingies. u cannot even hold a snackie bone and gnaw on it without needing to borrow a giraffe’s neck... ugh, fine. we can ask her but make it snappy because chocobot’s cootie proximity protection spell is sizzling in overdrive and this wiener wolf does not want another bath just because mom thinks i smell when we both know - oh wait, here she is..

mom, dontchoo think my legs are like eleventy zillion times more ferocious than cassie’s? 

cooties from heaven

Nobody really goes about their day thinking about the space above their head.  I mean, yeah, it's there.  And if a noisy bird flies by or say a rainbow appears, yeah, I look up.  But usually, my days are all about looking at eye level or below.  Actually, with tiny chumley in the house, it's pretty much always below, unless I am walking somewhere, or talking or looking at big boyfriend.  But my point us, the minutiae of life doesn't require us to be constantly attentive to that space up there.
Except maybe for tiny chumley, who often looks up in hopes that it would rain snackies from heaven. Subtract food from the equation, however, and he's like the rest of us, happily doing whatever he's doing at tiny chumley level, until something happens that makes him ever so aware that something awful just happened, in that space way up there. :)

 

the ruffled grouse

“...no stranger to ferociousness, the ruffled grouse, whose scientific name is bonasa umbellus, may be a dumb bell away up north, where they say that, when flushed, he flutters to a nearby limb and sits there, rubbernecking like a rube on a broadway bus.” hmmmm... “ blah blah, blah blah blah blah...”

“...blah blah long pants, which as the neighbors say, smells just like blah blah blah.” hee hee hee. “but the blah blah may be even lying right next to u, blah blah blahing up the whole room. and yet some say the grouse still has to blah blah to the blah blah panty pants because his mom is making him do it, solely on the unreasonable account of some blah blah falcon blabbing about the ruffled grouse not starting his summer blah blah reading yet...”

“...but hopefully the blah blah panty pants is way too dopey 2 even notice that the most of what the ruffled grouse is reading is - “

this...cannot...be...happening...

while i protested, bleak and scary

stay with us? seriously??? here?? for a few hours? mom, just one cootie, one single cootie, has an infection radius of 50 meters. that means anyone standing within 50 meters of a contaminated individual has a one hundred percent chance - one hundred percent chance - of becoming infected. not to mention the cootie's rate of cellular mitosis is unparalleled to even the most virulent of infectious diseases. the justinian plague, the black plague, the bubonic plague - they will all look like minor colds compared to what can happen in just five minutes with her in this room. that's why the infected have to stand way over there and that's why SHE has to stand way over there. dontchoo understand, mom???

once upon a morning wary...

(sniff sniff...sniff sniff) (sniff...sniff) mother, why do i smell cooties wafting in from the hallway under our bedroom door?

(to be continued..)

thank u please

 wait wait, okay I'm ready, mom...
  
Dear Miss Saundra, Cocoa n Emmy,
Thank you for the lovely and very funny holiday towels. Not only was it very thoughtful but I really like the detailed embroidery on it and it will be a perfect merry addition to greet our guests in the power room of me and duk duk's heat cave.  Also, I really really appreciate that u did not include any cooties on them.  I know it must be difficult, Cocoa and Emmy, on account of your naturally having lots and lots of cooties, but you did a wonderful job standing over there and me and duk duk thank u for that as well. 
Your Grateful Friend, Baxter. :)








 






















okay, mom, i finished my thank u to miss saundra n cocoa n emmy. now can i have the treats they sent me? 

please? :) :)

 

 

wolf wagon

hee hee, choo choo! hurry little miss sarah! we have to catch up!! choo choo! almost there...almost there... 

hee hee, yeah, so this is my anti cootie mobile and over there is where u stay, Cassie. like, do not even bother thinking about coming over here 2 lick me  because all I have to do is pull my head in and zip the flap and voila, nana nana boo boo. so do not even try it, nosiree.

choo choo! choo choo! hee hee yep, what a great idea this was. I am totally protected from big dogs, panty dogs, barky dogs, girl dogs that do not know how to stay over there (hint hint present company included). I mean seriously, what's not to love about..oo hey...

um, Cassie, can u please poop on that leaf for me? :)