cooties from heaven

Nobody really goes about their day thinking about the space above their head.  I mean, yeah, it's there.  And if a noisy bird flies by or say a rainbow appears, yeah, I look up.  But usually, my days are all about looking at eye level or below.  Actually, with tiny chumley in the house, it's pretty much always below, unless I am walking somewhere, or talking or looking at big boyfriend.  But my point us, the minutiae of life doesn't require us to be constantly attentive to that space up there.
Except maybe for tiny chumley, who often looks up in hopes that it would rain snackies from heaven. Subtract food from the equation, however, and he's like the rest of us, happily doing whatever he's doing at tiny chumley level, until something happens that makes him ever so aware that something awful just happened, in that space way up there. :)

 

a wolf whistles

 







i sure can whistle, remember, mom?  just stick your fingers in my mouth like u did last time forever ago and i can show u...














 

  hokay, hreddee? ....

(pfweeeoooOOOooOoooOooooOoooot!)

hee hee hee.  i hdid hnot hthay hanythingh habout hwistling hfrom hmy hmouth, hdid i?  :) 

 

front seat driver :)

ooo ooo - i see it! do not worry, mom,  i've got this.

beeep beeeeep!

 

beep beep beep! beep beep beeeeeeeep!

 

















sheesh, the service around here is apooping...














beep beep beeeeEEEeeoooEEEEeeeeeoooEEEeeeoooEEEeeeeeoooEEEeeeoooeeeep!

oh good. finally.

\

hey, dad..u missed a spot. :)

a study in pink

wolf and bee

the little dachshund could hardly believe his luck. it had been many years since his last encounter with his little bee friend, but there it was, perched on the side frame of the windowsill, smelling of lavender and honey and thyme and just the faintest whiff of iris.

why, smello, mister bee! thelittle dachshund squeaked most enthusiastically. it has been many years since we have seen each other, and in that time, i have always been hoping i would see you again, so that i may finally ask you something that i should have asked you long ago, something that i have been wanting to ask you for a very, very long time ...

mister bee, is it true that honey comes out your butt and if so, may i please lick it? :)

the overall wolfy package of ferociousness

hee hee, well, okay, mom, since i am still drying from my bath, i guess u can brush me. but make sure to keep any fur u collect for project u know what. and try not to leave comb marks because it would probably dry that way and, well, i feel like comb marks would significantly detract from the overall wolfy package of ferociousness if u know what i mean. :)

seven bean monkey chow chili

uh...

....oooooh. pheeeeeeeeeew!

kaaaack! mom, i never thought i would say this but...

well, for reasons that will become olfactorily obvious just about any moment now, can u please open the window? :)

wednesday's doot is full of woot :)

hee hee, yeppies i am happy how our swirly glitter weenies all came out too, duk duk.  

what a stroke of luck that chocobot and his unicorn friends decided to have their pre-easter eatsterparty at our heat cave the other week.  i mean, we both know that chocobot can really make a massive pile but who knew that a group of unicorns can make like, literally an olympus-sized mountain glittery poop. and in all sorts of colors too. yeppies, even our museum was not going to be able to hold that much. we were really lucky they used their magic to help us bottle some for our swirly weenies, weren't we? 

my favorite combination? well, i surprise myself by saying this, but i am not sure i have just one.  i mean, on the one paw or wing, u have the chocolatey poopie brown series, and they are all actually very pretty - not just the poopie gold and browns glitter mix which everybuddy pretty much knows i would like, but the other ones too - falcony greens and blues, and even cootieful pinks and reds. those combinations we made all go nicely with the brown they way grass and tomatoes do when show up on the back end if u know what i mean.

and,  on the other paw - no wing - we have the princessy purple series, with your choice of unicorn purples and holographic glitter, falcony greens and blues, and of course cootieful pinks and reds.  i just want to swirl them all and stare at them forever, dontchoo, duk duk?  what's that, oh right.  sorry mom 2 keep u waiting. let me go ahead and finish getting ready so we can get this photo party started and get everything ready to post for this Wednesday. it'll only take me a minute, mom.... (shuffle , shuffle)...okay that's on nice n snug.

now one last thing. i think i have my lines pretty much memorized, but, duk duk, if u would just hand me my script, we can tape them to the back here where i can see them if i need a remin-


 





-der. wait, what??? mom, we can't lose the mask.  u said this time me and duk duk had full creative authority on this project and what with spring and easter coming up,  i mean seriously, what better time for a ferocious bunny to be selling these sparkly incredibly awesome -

...okay FINE, he says with frost visibly dripping from his words if that were only a thing in real life.  but, a) the change notice is going 2 cost u 5 extra gummy worms for each of us  b) we are going to need an extra 20 minutes to prepare and c) can u please go downstairs and get my purple plaid top hat while me and duk duk write and rehearse our new script? 

okay, c u in a few. 









hee hee hee, that went even better than i expected.  and, thanks to the fact that we totally already wrote our plan b script ahead of time,  now we have a whole 20 minutes to goof off. :)

(hee hee, don't miss tomorrow's doot for our super special sparkly swirly glitter weenies, let's say around 11:00AM EST. and please remember, as these goodies are partly made from glass and contain small parts, we like to think of these as goodies for grown ups.  please enjoy responsbily. :) )

https://www.etsy.com/shop/kalyxcraftopia

a wolf walks into a banana store...

...well, i don't know. it probably looks okay, and it is very comfortable, but...hmmm.....

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

do u have anything in a full banana? :)

a great disturbance in the Force

pssst, mom! can u tell if doctor miss erin is almost done back there with my light saber laser therapy? bc i have been really really really trying hard to hold it back, but i am sensing a great disturbance in the Force. if u know what i mean. :)

plans within plans

hee hee, yep u got us mom! we were totally trying to april fool u into believing we would actually want 2 read something, but in retrospect i guess it was a pretty lame-o idea bc u know us so well. hey, speaking of well, well i guess me and duk duk will put everything away and maybe we will just lie here in the nice warm sun for a while.  so, if u do not mind, maybe me and duk duk will catch up with u in the sewing room in, o, i dunno, maybe a few hours?. :)

(...annnd, she's gone!  phew! okay, duk duk,  let's hurry up and do this!)

"Danny Dunn and the Homework Machine", by jay williams and raymond abrashkin.  boy u r right, duk duk,  finally, i think we have found a book worth reading.  i sure hope it comes with technical drawings, dontchoo? :)

crop husbandry 101

As a certain little kielbasa wolf and his little wannabe falcon toyfriend get older, I like to think they've gotten a little wiser about how to fill their bottomless tummies, having spent hours together as best friends do, dreaming up ways to augment their diet with the foods, tastes, and smells they love so dearly. 

Sometimes, their ideas are brilliant, if not cracked in their wisdom thanks in no small part to the haphazard absorption of things they have barely bothered to learn in school.   But, it all makes sense to them, and who am I to stand in the way of such cuteness and earnest optimism? :)





...well, mom, in a word, yeppies.  i am confident we could introduce project UknowWhat into our garden growing plans for this year with minimal impact to existing staff workload, space utilization, and irrigation infrastructure. in fact, i doubt we would need any of those resources at all due to the recent discoveries me and duk duk have made with respect to where UknowWhats come from. let me explain...

(duk duk, if you could please just move that there so i can focus on...okay... okay yeah that's good.)

as i was saying, mom. it is ez pz really...



 
 

 

you see, these are peanuts ...

...and these? these are peanut eggs.   :)

happy valentine's day :)

hee hee, yeah I know, right duk duk? i mean, when mom told us we had 2 be even nicer with our valentine's day cards we have 2 hand out at school this year, i thought it would be impossible. but i think we did a pretty good job all and all.  plus really, it is kind of redundant to tell all the girls they stink because they probably already know it, as many times as we tell them.  and looky, we are so polite in saying thank u and we even included a helpful directional arrow so there is no confusion what they should do after we give them our cards. now. all i need to do is get out of this bowtie from our reed diffuser photo shoot and prep our cootie vaccines while u print the cards and..oh wait, i think mom is talking 2 us...yes, mom, we finished our valentines but we are still in the sewing room but not for long because we still have to print them and i need to...okay we will wait...
 

sheesh, seriously, mom? but i was going 2 change out of it.  yes i know today is also school picture day but if i wear it 2 school, u know that all of the girls will think i did it because of valentine's day and none of the girls will even bother reading our valentines very carefully at all and then nobuddy will stand over there and then there will be a epic giant cootietastrophe the likes of which no cootie vaccine would ever be able to adequately protect us.

 

it came from above

whoa, duk duk, if that is what i think it is, i am glad we decided at least one of us should put on our PPE. 
 




legend has it that any two beings who come in even relative proximity to this object are subject its severe mind altering effects...

...ultimately causing the transmission of an epic bout of cootie contamination. :)

a dog and a duk walk into a christmas party..

yeah i know it stinks, right, duk duk?  like, why even bother with a secret santa christmas party if has to be at a place where u have to dress up and be all serious and proper and stuff? no funny hats? no blinking glitter christmas sweaters? sheesh! and who knows if i will be even able to do the electric robot in this get up that mom made me. i guess that's what we get for not being able 2 hear what the girls on the class party planning committee were saying on account of them having to stand way over there.  and for not reading the meeting minutes or their gajillions of email. or u know, pretty much not participating in any capacity whatsoever.  but really who has time for any of that?   oops, we should probably keep an eye out - our ride should be here any minute now.

hee hee hee. at least the dress code did not say anything about wearing signage, right, duk duk?  :)

 

   

 

curiouser and curiouser (part 2): he knows

"he's making a list, and checking it twice! gonna find out who's naughty or nice, santa claus is - " okay great job stamping it lulu the tiger,  now lemme sign it.. your friend, Baxter.  " - coming, 2 town!" okay that's another card finished. next!! oh wait, u are right we need to put a stamp on it. lil pink puppy, it's your turn. hee hee, boy i thought mom making us do our own christmas cards this year would really stink but actually with us splitting up the work, it's been really fun, hasn't it?  

now where was i in our song? o i know.."he knows when you've been pooping, he knows when you're a- "

hee hee, oo very nice postage stamp placement, lil pink puppy. keep this up and soon u can help me and duk duk help mom with packing etsy orders. okay,  let's start a new postcard.  duk duk, batter up...

"he knows when you've been pooping, he knows when you're awake, he knows when you've been bad or good..." wait, that can't be right? 

 "he knows when you've been pooping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good..."
 
 sheesh, duk duk, santa sure seems 2 really know a lot about what we are doing whether we want him 2 or not.  i wonder how he knows and if he has ever been charged with invasion of privacy...

pantalones de goma

dear diary,
you would think after all this time, the tushie man might remember what to touch and not to touch when he comes for my annual checkup. but every year,  just in case to make sure he remembers, me and duk duk always like to make sure it is abundantly clear. and every year, no matter how we say it, it seems he does not listen.

i sure hope next year mom finally finishes making me my rubber pants.

toodley-doo!
b. :)

hallo mijn moeder

hee hee, okay duk duk i will do it.  just hurry up n go hide cuz i hear her coming.

 why hallo mijn moeder! i was just coming 2 find u.  my nails feel really long.  would you please trim them for me?

hee hee hee....oh goody! okay, i will just wait here while u go get dad and the nail thingy and the...wait, what???

mom, u do know today is april first, dontchoo??