picky hungry happy boy

tiny chumley keeps walking and feeling better every day,  but as the tushie man noted, there are a few anomalies from his exam that make baxter’s diagnosis less than clear cut, some things that i would like to see subside,  that the blood and urine work taken on wednesday may explain, or may not. time will tell, and as we wait,  please don’t be alarmed if we post with less frequency, or respond with less timeliness, in these next few weeks. some days even social media isn’t an escape, and it’s all about enjoying the real world as best we can.  have a good weekend, friends, and thanks for all the love and prayers ❤️ 

three days of the spinny

It’s been a rough few days for tiny chumley in the real world. Suddenly on Friday afternoon his world became spinny, his shorty legs unsteady underneath him, his eyes uncontrollably darting back and forth, his head turned and tilted, his little mouth drooly and his tummy so unhappy with his situation that it emptied its contents.  Luckily, there was no pain, no incontinence, no numbness or paralysis, no lingering nausea, nothing to strongly suggest that anything other than patiently comforting, waiting, and indulging his wildest food desires would be the best course for the weekend.  Tiny chumley’s symptoms were fairly consistent with idiopathic vestibular disease, or as it is called in more recognizable terms, old dog vertigo.  A sudden, lingering spell of crazy scary looking and feeling dizziness that can happen to an old dog for reasons nobody knows. At least not yet. A condition that often shows marked improvement after 72 hours. 

And just like clockwork, on Monday, he began to improve, his eye darting significantly slowed, and his world a little less spinny. Yesterday, he ventured off his bed more times that we probably would have liked, making his way over to us like a sailor in rough seas, ever hopeful to encounter a delicious fallen morsel of food.   

There are still some loose ends to tie up, a visit from his regular tushie man that we hope to have in the next day or so, actually managing the balance of baxter’s physical recovery, whatever that may look like, and, having been reminded once again that meals are more delicious with birthday meat cake, dealing with a voracious but stubborn little wolf who will be snubbing his plain ol kibble and lobbying for his dizzy dinner mix. As I get my keys to drive to the pet food store to buy more canned meat for little wolves, something tells me he has already won that battle. :)

nakey lunch

tiny chumley had a dental cleaning and a few bumps removed yesterday, nothing worthy of labs but things that the tushie man felt could require attention in the future, when our little wolf would be older and less spry and less capable of handling surgical intervention. better to take these things off when he’s strong and healthy, and his blood work and stats are fine, the tushie man said. which made total sense to all of us, save the little four legged boy who probably would have been happier noping and napping his way through yesterday. 

sheesh next time, mom, well let’s just say there does not need to be a next time . although the staying home from school for the next two weeks and me being nakey nakey parts are fine. and the xtra snackies :) 

adventures in aviation :)

faced with the inevitability of his situation, the little dachshund tried one last time to prove that all his efforts were simply adventures in wolf aviation. 

just a few more flaps, mom, and you will see! no tushie man for u , and definitely none for me. :)

wrong turn

whoopsie, sorry, how did i get up here? please do not let me interrupt anything here. my apologies really. i musta taken that wrong turn at albuquerque.  so... so yeppies, lemme just make like a poopie snake and smear on outta here. don’t worry, i did not see a thing.  i’ll be out of your hair in no-

whoa, whoa! hey, i’m just a wolfie tryna - wait wait,  hey, okay no need to turn me around, i was just on my way out and -  o, well, smello, doctor tushie man and miss helper lady,  how did i not notice u before ? hey, like i said, i was just on my way to cucamonga, and i guess i took a wrong turn, so, like, no need to bring out a cake or anything i’ll just be on my way. yeppies it is totally my fault, i’m gonna need to maybe finally update the ios on my iphoney . hey do u guys have wifi? can i maybe, yeah maybe i can just go back to the house and get my usb cable and i’ll come back and i’ll bring gummy worms for everyone one. special reserve yeppies u really gotta try some they are so delicious and yeah they are just so —

 

wonderful. um, i know this is just my annual checkup and all but, can we just pretend we squeezed my charmin already? 

put a socky on it :)

well, i guess i understand because it is very difficult to not even think about licking it, what with it being right there and all. but..

instead of christmas stripes, do i think i can have a socky that looks like a ferocious dragon’s foot instead? 

dear diary :)

dear diary,

i know it has been forever since i have written u but now that i am home from school for  the next few days while i am healing from by bump removals and teeth cleaning , it seems like a good time to catch up. first off, unlike my uncle fritz who had ten teeth removed during his cleaning, i did not need any ferociousness removed all. but the tushie man did remove eight bumps, most of which were dermoids and stuff but two were sent off for histopoopology. so, crossing fingers and toes on that. but anyhoo, i am feeling pretty fine now, though let’s not tell mom or dad bc the extra snackies have been outstanding. well, except the extra piece of chicken that dad gives me with every meal. it tastes a little sospechoso. but i eat it anyway bc, u know, chicken. and, let’s face it, there’s probably a pill in there. 🙄. i figure i may as well eat it bc if i don’t and i spit out the pill, they just make me eat pill anyway and the second time there is no delicious chicken coating, just a thick slathering of bitter disappointment. 

later this week after the tile man is finished with our bathroom and i can take a break from wolfing, i am hoping i can get mom 2 take some pictures of me for halloween . my stitches are outstandingly rawwr, if i do say so myself. and yes i have not been licking them. well, mostly. which thankfully qualifies me for  no cone necessary status. 

um, lessee, what else? o i am very grateful for all my family and friends who have been thinking and praying and vibing for me and left comments and suchy such on the interweb. 

i read them at nitey nite in bed but have not had a chance 2 comment yet on all of them, mostly because yesterday on our first full day off from school me and duk duk used up all our internet allowance time watching old bugs bunny cartoons and researching level eleventy poop shape making techniques. 

so, yeppies, diary, that’s about it for now bc i see now that all the waiting i’ve been currently doing for mom and dad to come to bed is now over. and with that, i must bid u a fond

toodleydoo!

b. :) 

not just another manic monday

just remember, mom,  after all this u promised me the biggest strawberry ever. and if i have 2 wear a cone, then i get the second and third largest strawberries too, plus the new trebuchet that me and duk duk want, plus no visits from cassie for like, three months. and , also maybe a new bouncy fun house with four turrets and two slidey slides on either side. :)

good vibes for monday :)

well, i guess even duk duk noticed that one of my ferocious wolf bumps has gotten kind of big rather rapidly recently ... so...if u and the tushie man think so, i guess we can remove them...

but, well, mom...if u cannot go back with me,  can i at least take duk duk so he can make sure the tushie man does not remove any more ferociousness than he has to?

always on a sunday 🙄

mom..

i understand and accept why we are here..

but ...

why did u take me to the kind of place where they think being surrounded by pictures of cootietaminated girls in baskets is soothing? 

room 101

take my blood? r u serious, doctor mister tushie man?? i mean, i feel fine really. okay, okay, look, i admit i lick my tushie because i just like to. is that what u want me to say? because i just did. and, the last time cassie visited, i may have actually eaten a snackie crumb that may or may not have actually fallen out of her mouth. there, i said it. and not even duk duk knows that. and well, besides...i am not the wolf you seek.

hey, hey, i said, i am not the wolf you seek. aw come on, doesn’t anybuddy speak jedi around here?

look, doctor mister tushie man, duk duk is just right outside and i know if i could have just a moment to talk to him, i am sure we can arrange something that would not only sate your vampric needs, but also provide for years of interesting research. because well, duk duk’s blood, well it posesses a very unique regenerative property that enables super strength, rapid healing, and enhanced broadway / live theater abilities, including but not limited to singing, tap, and acting, qualities most of which i am certain a fine man like yourself could use to enhance -

o wait, what’s that? we are done already? that was quick...and painless. um, doctor mister tushie man, u know all that stuff i just said and all? well, u know i was just pretending, right? and, well, what happens in room 101 stays in room 101 am i right or am i right? o and hey - where’s my snackie? :)

statistically significant

dear diary,
after finally collecting several years worth of data, i am fairly certain that the tushie man does not know how to read. and that is all i really want to say about that now. bc despite making yet another and very clearly worded sign, u can pretty much guess what happened👉😱z

anyhoo, i hope u have a wonderful weekend.

toodleydoo!
b :)

cooties from heaven

Nobody really goes about their day thinking about the space above their head.  I mean, yeah, it's there.  And if a noisy bird flies by or say a rainbow appears, yeah, I look up.  But usually, my days are all about looking at eye level or below.  Actually, with tiny chumley in the house, it's pretty much always below, unless I am walking somewhere, or talking or looking at big boyfriend.  But my point us, the minutiae of life doesn't require us to be constantly attentive to that space up there.
Except maybe for tiny chumley, who often looks up in hopes that it would rain snackies from heaven. Subtract food from the equation, however, and he's like the rest of us, happily doing whatever he's doing at tiny chumley level, until something happens that makes him ever so aware that something awful just happened, in that space way up there. :)

 

chester mcZippyZappy

hee hee, sorry for wiggling so much doctor miss erin - the new zippy zappy zip zapper tickles!

strawberry shortlegs

mom, after doctor miss erin finishes laser light sabering me, do u we could go get a strawberry slushie boba with extra strawberries and bubbles? :)

choosy wolves choose wolf juice

smello, it’s me, baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to u from home today because i am lucky enough to get home visits for my laser therapy. this reporter wolf’s hints for a successful laser treatment includes: barking, more barking, more barking, and oh yes, a large amount of wolf juice (that’s what the barking is for, really. o, and recipe follows..)

wolf juice
- 6 clean empty roller ball bottles
- 1/2 tablespoon corn starch mixed in 1/8 c of water to form a slurry
- about 1 to 1 1/4 cups chunky chicken water (no chunks)

note: this recipe makes about 6 roller bottles worth of wolf juice but u do not have to make that much. also, if u do not have chunky chicken water on hand, simply boil a boneless chicken breast in some water until the breast is cooked. cut or shred chicken into chunks and voila, now u have chunky chicken in chunky chicken water.

to make wolf juice, we will be making basically a very thin gravy. too thin and the wolf juice will spill out of the bottles, too thick and nothing will come out of the bottle. anyhoo, simply bring the chunky chicken water to a boil and add corn starch slurry. stir maybe about a minute, to make sure everything stays mixed and to prevent the formation of globs. once things have thickened (it will be slight), remove from heat and let cool. fill roller bottles and enjoy!

chikky likky stick

o chikky likky stick,
thanks for keeping me busy
while i get lasered :)

wolf and wolverine

...well, okay mom... i do not really want to say anything more about it after i say it out loud, but yeppies, it was the mousey trap in the garage.

but after u kiss my boo boo to make it better, and u let duk duk back in the room, can we please stick with the wolverine story? :)

agent brown part 2

...and that's my robot chip! i have had it forever now, but it is nice to see it finally in person. the robot chip is pretty much the reason why i am transforming into a wolf but the process still takes a lot of time because the chip works with my body at a subcellular level.

anyhow, u guys wanna see the best part of the bioscan that the   
 multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction took of me before i destroyed it?  here, lemme swipe it to the updated graphic i made to take to school today for show n tell.














okay, so, as u might imagine, this scan was being performed just moments before i released the agent brown, and what the robot saw, and what the special doctor mister tushie man ended up seeing, and what i already could feel was..well, i think u can see why the robot singled me out from all those big dopey dogs. cuz, well aside from being perfectly ok and ready for anesthesia should i ever need it for the MRI when the special doctor mister tushie man really thinks i should get it which is not right now...well let's just say we finally have proof positive of what u know i know we all know we know and what we all can now see here...

that's right, there it is my friends, my no-longer-secret agent brown reserve, aka the mega poopie snake. master of olfactory disaster. u can run and u can hide, but u cannot escape, when i let it slide...

hee hee hee! anyhow, the special doctor mister tushie man pretty much admired how big my agent brown reserve was, and dad was like, "yeah he wouldn't poopies before we brought him" and i was like, "yeah dad, u know why now and u can thank me later with a trip to the chikky fila. saved the universe, yo" and then for some reason dad said i was not allowed to watch breaking bad anymore.  but anyway, so, yeah.  now we just wait and see and hope my neck doesn't flare up or at least if it does then we know we will go ahead with my MRI and then really see if i might need surgery or something. and in the meanwhile i will keep seeing doctor miss erin for my laser therapy and if i can ever calm my inner wolf we will also get me some more massages. oooh - i think i hear the bus coming! time to go!! :) :)

agent brown

and so i was like, "heck no, mom, it's a trap. i'll stay right here with u and dad, thank u very much."

what's that, lulu the tiger? it's okay, yeah, u guys can come closer and look.  and smell if u want. it does not really hurt anymore. lessee, where was i?

 








...oh,  so even though i turned my electromagnets on, the special doctor tushie man still managed to take me to the back, right? and that's where i see it. but nobuddy else does and i'm like, "uh, hello, anybuddy else see the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction? anybuddy??" nopies.  crickets. and a bunch of big noisy dopey dogs being dopey and a cat. well i think it was a cat. i never saw it, only smelled it.  but i am pretty sure it was a cat cuz it smelled like cheezy fish breath and raspberry lip gloss from all the kissy kissies they get on their head.



















anyhow, so i'm thinking, great, surrounded by dopey big dogs who are too dopey to do anything, and me without our emergency backpack. u know the one, that we packed with our mini travel trebuchet and my long bow and at least three different types of light sabers plus enough ammo and arrows and dragon glass to fight off at least two hoards of zombies and seven battalions of white walkers and orcs.  and probably one multimaster robomegamonster of doom and destruction probably, but i will never know because mom would not let me bring it. "too heavy for my back," she said...

..which makes me wonder... maybe next time, well if there is a next time i go to the special doctor mister tushie man because he did say i seem to be doing well enough that we could delay my MRI at least until we see what happens next time i have an incident...so, maybe next time i have to see him, which hopefully is maybe like, never from now, well hopefully maybe mom will let me bring my weapons backpack if we tie it to the hood of the pedal car and then we tie the pedal car to mom's car so we can tow it... 


























what's that chocobot?  oh yes, right. so, at that point i'm like, "sheesh, swell mom.  dragged back here and left on my own, staring into the face of the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction.  swell.  thanks for making me leave all my weapons at home, mom and dad. thanks a lot. "

and then, before i could even think another word, the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction shot at me with his inviso ray eyes, then it poked me with a needle. not once but twice and it even drew blood! by that point i only had my wolfy instincts to rely on, but the robot was so close and angled in such a way that i knew my ferocious fangs were not really going to be very effective.  so i did it.   i was really hoping to save it too because i could feel it was going to be a doozy, but i had to do it. there was nothing else left i could do.  i released the agent brown...if u know what i mean. 

yeah, lil pink puppy.  the robot pretty much dissolved immediately really.  then the techs came back and found me they were like, "yo dude what's that smell and what happened 2 you, ferocious wolf? " and i just said, "u would not believe me if i tried, my friend." so they wrapped me up and took me back out to mom and dad  and we went home and here i am. 

well, hee hee, okay, they also gave me the picture the robot took of me before agent brown came to town, if u know what i mean. i cannot wait to show u guys. let me get it and i will tell u what else the special doctor mister tushie man told me... (to be continued :) )