today i am seventeen

hee hee ooooOOOOooooOooo! hey hey, mom, hurry up and put it down here where a wolf can see already!

oooo, made with teeny weenies and thrifted vintagey goodness.

finest quality, superior workmanship…

truly pooptacular! and it is just how a ferocious wolf envisioned it!

um, so i know duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy are not back yet from princess prettypink’s holiday partyrama but u think maybe i can try my birthday crown now? uknow, just 2 make sure it is ferocious enough? 

hee hee, wait’ll everyone gets a load of me!

  

hee hee, ooo, i thought a wolf was feeling  ferocious before, but this birthday crown is 

totally taking it to the next level! i cannot wait til duk duk gets - 

 

uh oh, a wolf is feeling tingly tangly woofy - 

RRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRR! 

um, mom, can u maybe make my crown maybe seventeen percent less ferocious? just enough so a wolf can still enjoy his meat cake 
without, u know, eating his toyfriends. :)

today i am sixteen :)

hee hee o m g! 

my birthday crown is even better than i imagined! it is so incredibly ferocious! i am sure mom will not mind if a wolf tries it on before everybuddy gets here. 



hee hee, hey look at me i’m king of the wol - wait nope nopies nope abort abort!  



mom, i regret to inform you that physics of ferociousness are such that it will be impossible for me to wear this lovely crown u made without putting the universe at great risk. the combination of two extreme powers of ferociousness that u see before you are not simply additive, they are logarithmically exponential.  i wore the crown for like two seconds and already i could feel the fabric of the universe tearing.  maybe if we hurry, we could go with a plan b for my birthday picture , u know, with me just being here next to it. although, a wolf cannot guarantee anything because he has already been standing next to it for all this time. 

well, i might be able to channel some of the ferociousness to my funny bone but even then i am just not sure we can get the results we r … rawwr … the results we r .. hee hee phoowee… rawwr… the results we r looking… 

..for.   um, maybe we should just skip to the part where we bring out my meat cake?  i will wait here. gee, i wonder what is taking duk duk and  chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy so long. they should be here by now.



hee hee ooOOOOooooOOOoooo!  now that’s what i’m talking about. . 



sixteen carrot candles on a meat cake bigger than my head! and all my favorite fruits! wait’ll duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy see  - 




hey hey! where did everybuddy come from so fast?? 




hee hee, just remember, no touchies just lookies… boy, if only dad was as fast as u guys are when the cake comes out. o wait i think i finally hear him! 




hee hee , happy birthday 2 me! :) 

happy stinksgiving:)

hee hee, now that we have the hang of this thing, duk duk, we can make gazillions and paste them everywhere!! u know, it really is too bad thanksgiving is just one day. i mean, there aren’t any presents or anything like that, but nobody is watching u all year long, either. u can just be u, no strings attached. and there’s the eating, and more eating, and more eating, and if u r lucky, there is more eating after that. i can see why everybuddy is thankful on thanksgiving. 

 me? hmmm. well, i am grateful today, obviously. and for u and your smelly butt, mom, dad who both have smelly butts but apparently it is not appropriate to tell them that so u just kind of have to enjoy it peecretly, chocobot even tho he has been a chocobutt lately, lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy and, well, all our friends in cyberspace, of course, and…. o i am grateful that on days like 2 day cassie keeps her smelly butt at home. and for finding this thing, and for having the password to mom’s amazon so we can order more refills and - 

o snap i hear mom coming! 

quick help me hidey hide all these  - whoops, too late. 

what? um, we were doing nothing really. is this the, um, thingy u want us to use to print all stickers for the name cards?  :) 

fifteen candles :)

“o what a beautiful birthday cake! hurry, dad, put me down! it smells delicious!!” squealed the little wolf dachshund as his body wiggled with delight. 



“o happy day! i smell carrots and strawberries and blueberries and turkey too! i know i promised to make my birthday cake last by only taking one bite now and saving the rest for later…

but why take one bite,

when a chompy two will do?” :) 

today i am fifteen :)

(pfweeooOooOoooofweeeeooooOOOOooooOooooOooooOOOOooooOooooooooOOOooooOoooOooOoooOoooooOoooOOOOooOoOOOooooOoOOOOOOooooOooot!)

hee hee hee hee! o yeah, twenty days of eating nothing but fizzy fermented monkey chow smoothies have totally paid off. try and top that, my ferocious frien- uh oh.  smello?  first one 2 say foofie gets a bag of gummy worms. nobuddy? hee hee, totally gassed out! anybuddy? smello? 

um, mom, seeing as how everybuddy is unconscious, maybe we should wait on the group photo and do my individual birthday portrait first. :) 

reTreat Tuesday :)

hee hee, yeppies, definitely still as ferocious as sunday.  okay everybuddy now remember, the whole reason why we agreed not to eat our candy haul and get all dizzy like we usually do is so we can go back out today and offer to take everyone’s leftover halloween candy off their hands. timing is everything, really. because if u try late on sunday people will be like nopies go away we are going to eat all of it, but by monday they will be like, wow the room is starting to spin and by tuesday , well by today they will be like, i think i’m going to hurl, please, take all of it! which is why we all have to be in peak physical form because i think we will get at least eleventy hundred pounds on our street alone! hello? u guys know  i can’t turn my head down with this thing on - why isn’t anybuddy saying anything??

 

aw great.  some buddies just couldn’t refrain from helping themselves to some candy after all, could they? well, i can’t pedal by myself.  now how am i gonna get all the candy home? ? hmmmmm. o i know..

mom, can i borrow your phone so i can uber a dump truck? :) 

tis the season :)

mom, r u sure this whole cute as a button and spread good cheer thing is going to help me back on to santa’s nice list? i mean, it was only one bag of gummy worms that melted on the radiator. and how does he know if i left it there or maybe duk duk did? 

stinkfalcon day

okay, mom, we’ll be leave in just a couple seconds. i am watching duk duk lock  up the poopie snake museum as we speak and then we will get our books and pedal off to school. 

hee hee, maybe more than a couple seconds if he - o yeppies, hook, line, and stinker! stinkbombs away!!  never try to outsneak a wolf when gummy worms are on the line! 

hee hee, i do not know if the groundhog even saw his shadow yesterday, butt no matter what, we definitely are gonna have at least six more weeks of stinking fun :) 

simply irresistible:)

 rawwr!

rawwwwwwwwwr!

RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRR!!

hee hee, got any questions? :) 

introducing the ferocious wooly bear hat. rawwwr tested, wolf strong. debut dooting this sunday in a tiny variety of cheerful and ferocious woolens and cashmeres, with more to come later this year :). 

wolfstache

hmmmmm.  hmmmmm....

well, mom, it is definitely mostly kind of what i was thinking...

but...maybe we can use another scrap 2 make it little bigger? like, longer. and poufier. 

o and definitely more handlebar-ier!  the most ferocious wolfstaches are always swoopy doopy with curlicues and everything! :) 

finders rawwwers

yes, mom, i am still looking for them...yes,  i know we are putting away the christmas stuff now and trust me i have been looking for them as hard as i can. i promise, when i find them i will bring them right 2 u. okay? okay. 

hee hee hee, rawwwwr! rawwwwr!

rawwwwr! 

rawwwwwwwr!

hee hee hee! rawww-rutt roh!

um, smello, mom. hee hee, hey why looky here, look what i just found  :)