blurry monday

Socks were one of the first forms of snackie currency here in tiny chumley’s little world. Back when stairs were something to be raced down, back when a certain little someone’s sausagey body was made of rubber and flubber, we walkied every day, if not even twice a day. And it always started with me, pulling out a pair of socks, and handing them to a very happy boy who would chomp them then race ahead of me, confident in knowing that not only were walkies forthcoming after i put them on, but that a snackie payment in full would be made in exchange for a slobbery wet pair of expertly delivered socks.  

Over the years, for a multitude of reasons, our habits have changed. But one thing will always remain certain. No matter how he delivers them, no matter if we end up going for a walkie or just stay downstairs, successfully delivery of socks will always mean snackies for a certain happy little sausagey boy. And that, my friends, is everything  :) 

bark-1-1

well, mom, i think it should be obvious, but clearly the barkmergency involves two very empty things. one of them being my food bowl, and the other my tummy. :) 

call of duty

...so i would go like, rawwwwr!!! and that would be that really.  so next time we see a bunny, how bout we just let a ferocious wolf do his job, okay? :) 

yesterday good sigh

um, mom, just so u know, the whole not being insufferable all day was a yesterday mother’s day thing. today is a whole new normal day. and this wolf has plenty of catch up wolfing to do :) 

cotton mouth

the little dachshund sometimes wondered why would wake up thirsty, especially after the dreams where his mother gave him a delicious peanut butter filled kong toy. :)

the incredible bulk :)

mom, it does not matter if the tushie man said i should lose a pound. i promise u, u don’t want 2 see me when i am hangry. :) 

window wolfing

mom, if i promise to try and be 25 percent less insufferable, then do u think i can come back outside and, u know, hunt for bunnies while u garden? :) 

probably maybe

well, i was just wondering if maybe me and duk duk could skip school today and, u know, rawwwr around for bunnies. and then, maybe we can help figure out if we can offer the special top peecret u know whats that we finished forever ago in time for a mother’s day doot. like on, o, maybe on may 2nd?  :) 

smelling season

hee hee, um, nopies, mom, u can goto the store without me today. a wolf is busy. :) 

poop deck :)

well, dad, what i was stinking i mean thinking was, well, u see, at least in the navy, they don’t just call it a deck, really, do they? and, well, i know we are not in the navy or anything, but everything is better with poop on it, dontchoo think? :) 

poopsterity

sometimes the little dachshund wondered why when he woke up from his nap, he would see his mom and dad staring at him, smiling with camera in hand as though they had just taken his picture. maybe, he groggily surmised, he looked even more ferociouser when he slept, and mom and dad of course would need to capture such a sight for poopsterity. :) 

wabbit seasoning

hee hee mom, u totally should have come with me and dad on our walkies. i chased at least eleventy zillion rabbits :) 

in pursuit of poopiness

the little dachshund wasted no time in going back inside his house. it is not every day that things like this happen, thought the little dachshund with a sense of urgency reserved only for the utmost important of matters. i mean, practically anyone can poop a snakey, he thought as he raced to find his best toyfriend duk duk. and even i can poop a corkscrew now. but, to find a cube shaped poopie? in my own backyard??  with news so important, the little dachshund did not even notice the numerous empty bags of gummy worms that surrounded his best toyfriend when he finally found him. “duk duk! duk duk! code cube! code cube! grab your binoculars and get your fluffy butt outside. if we hurry we might can finally catch up with mister wombat and ask him how he makes it!” 

:) 

getting 2 know u

rawwwwr! rawwwwr! rawwwwwwr! o hang on..

(pfweeeeOooOoOoooOooooooOot!) 

heehee hee hee, hoo-whee! that scored a perfect eleventy on the sphincter scale if i do say so myself! not that i have to, now that our new squishee mallow friends are with us. why, i am certain they, too, will attest to the violently putrefactive and pungent, yet subtly sweet jelly bean scented aroma of an expertly generated - 

what??? u think THAT was uncouthy ?? no, i’ll show u guys uncouthy. duk duk, open the window and batten down the hatches because we are gonna make a foofie the likes of which only poops hulud has smel-

o, why, smello, mom. what did u say? what are we smelling, i mean doing ?? well, nothing really. i mean, me and duk duk were just playing quietly with our new squishee mallow friends. and, u know, normal stuff like that. is it time for lunchy lunch yet? :) 

touchdown

um, dad, i know i was being insufferable again, but do we really have to carry me like a football?  i mean, i feel like it really sends the wrong message. u know, like me being diminutive and adorable, instead of menacing and ferocious. :)

24 hours ago :)

whoa, duk duk! are u peeing what i am peeing??

like, seriously, the easter bunny left us all this??  how could he - i mean, seriously like i have been looking everywhere for Avery for your hatch day present. like, for forever now. so cool. tho i must admit, u r way ferociouser. o, and  happy hatch day by the way my friend, u get more and more ferocious every day. on and looky! and we even got a dexter, which totally makes sense because dragons are like the third most ferocious being, next to wolves and falcons. and there is no way anyone should make a wolf squishee on account of it being so ferocious that it would scare everyone in the store and well, u know, there would be a lot of “clean up aisle 7! “s going on.

hee hee, i guess we should not have been scaring the easter bunny away all these years after all.  but, u know, ferocious is as feroc - omg LOOK...

he left us a magic chicken that poops jelly beans!! 

hee hee, i guess technically we should be asking mom, but i am sure mom will not mind if we have a little beany bean nibble before brunchy brunch, dontchoo think, duk duk ? two for me and one 4 u :)

backyard concerto

mooom! i know u said i have to stay on the deck while u r busy planting stuff down there, but my glutey flute is playing a ridiculously peppy concerto right now and trust me, u do not want the finale to happen up here. :) 

forbidden snackie

what am i doing? um..nothing?...well, okay...i was just stinking, i mean thinking that what with your new summer shoes being leather,  and seeing as how they smell so delicious i mean how they look so plain, that maybe a wolf can help rawwr your new shoes up a little. u know, wolf style. with ferocious chomp marks, and gashes and, u know, rawwr stuff.  to complement the big shiny buckles, in a balanced rough meets refined sort of way.  it is a really genius idea, dontchoo stink? 

what?? mom. nopies?? but i know u got them off peebay so it is not like the end of the world if i chomped them, and they smell so delish-. fine... 

okay, how about i just chomp just this one so i can show u what it looks like? i promise u will not be disappointed. :) 

twenty zillion

moooom, while u r in the kitchen can u please bring me back a snackie? or two ? or twenty zillion?  :) 

dinosaur days

some days, when his mom would run errands and he would be left home with his dad, the little dachshund knew that his day would be boring . but sometimes on those days, the little dachshund knew that when his mom came back from the store and his pack was back together again, that those days could become the most interesting ever. :)