c.o.d.

um, no, mister man in brown, there is nobuddy here by the name of bd poopsalot. and i checked with my mother just like u asked me to and nobuddy here is expecting any c.o.d. delivery of a mega fortress of magnitude quad suspension compound action hyper spring loaded tri bucket trebuchet.  but maybe, if i close this door and u pretend 2 walk away and bring it to the side of the house, u might find a tiger and a unicorn who might know a thing or two and they just might b able 2 help u. :)

midday in the garden of gruesome and gore

..yeah i know those stinky bassets totally deserved it. and besides, losing my digging privileges for two days and having to read this book isn't too bad really because well, a) it's raining out anyway, and b) do not tell mom, but this book has not been too bad so far, dontchoo think, duk duk?  i mean, sure there are words in it, but everybuddy knows u can just skip that stuff so long as there are pictures to look at.
 

and yeah, i submit that the pictures certainly could be way more gruesome. and i question whether this book is really a work of nonfiction like it thinks it is, because look at how close all the boys and girls are standing to each other.  nobuddy does that in real life. that's how u catch cooties.

but, hmmm, well, now that i've said that out loud, i take back what i said about these pictures not being very gruesome. because, well, since the girls are totally not standing over there, u just know that any moment the boys will turn into cootie infected zombies. and then things will really take a turn, what with the whole zombiefication process turning their eyes red, their feet into mighty meat tearing talons, and their beaks into razor sharp precision pecking instruments of gore. nobuddy would stand a chance and then the world would be ruled by zombies and nobuddy would care anymore where u pooped or how many gummy worms u ate or even bother with school or chores...

...boy i cannot wait 2 turn the page now, duk duk, can u? just stay close 2 me because i am pretty sure things are about 2 get super scary. :)

secret agent dog

mom, dontchoo u think the elves of rivendell were really secret dachshunds in disguise? 

.

fuzzy cute

hmmm, well I guess maybe, mom. but can u please do not tell duk duk about the extra gummy worm for doing my nails early? :) 

baxter and duk duk's teeny tiny stories for little puppies: the little shark

The little shark knew that things would look very funny if people ever saw him. He was, after all, a ferocious shark, and he had traveled many miles from the safety of the ocean to seek the treasure that his tummy had promised would be there if he only looked hard enough.  And now here he was, guided by his tummy to the vacant den of a little wolf, searching for his delicious bounty.

boy, this place stinks of bubbles and poopie clouds, the little shark thought to himself as he sniffed about the little wolf's den, and some fruity smell i cannot exactly place.  kind of like gummy fish only...hmmmm... Before the little shark could finish his thought, he spied what he thought to be his prize and ferociously chomped down on it as all sharks must do, with his eyes rolled back and ears firmly pressed back against his head to protect them from the awesomely loud crunch crunch crunchy sounds of...wait, nothing?  sheesh!, the little shark proclaimed. Clearly the little wolf had already eaten all the good crunchy gut parts and was saving the rest of the duk for later.

The little shark's tummy gurgled as he continued to shark around the den.  He had never seen a land trebuchet before but knew from school that it bore similarities to his and his best seal friend dunt dunt's ocean trebuchet. mostly in the tension spring mechanism and the moment arm, he remembered, which his visit now confirmed to be one hundred percent true.  The little shark's tummy grumbled louder.

After chomping on every animal he found in the little wolf's den and finding them devoid of their precious crunchy guts, the little shark began to wonder exactly what it was his tummy thought he would find here.  And then he spied it. A delicious bone he figured that was probably half the size of his body when the little wolf first found it, now only a third of his size because the little wolf had been chomping on it.  And now it was the little shark's turn to make it disappear. :)

il bassotto flatulento aiuta suo padre a rendere mozzarella

...hee hee, okay dad, now that the curds have formed the next thing u have 2 do and this is very very important...


(pfweeoooOOoOOoot!)

hee hee hee, u have 2 cut the cheese!!  :) :)

 

the princess and the unicorn

hee hee, before you take the picture, please make sure my buns are even, mom.  princess leia's buns are always even. :)

I'm not sure what I find so endearing about this behind the scenes picture from our little unicorn appreciation day shoot, but whatever the reason, it seems like a perfect photo to close the week. Go out and make your fun this weekend, even if it means getting help from your mom to put on your Leia buns :) 
 

happy unicorn appreciation day :)

The slow, hot days of summer vacation can go by a little faster when there are unicorn holidays to celebrate, made up songs based on Christmas carols to sing, and happy go lucky friends to share them with. :)  

 

 

 happy unicorn appreciation day my friends :)

o meaty thighs

O meaty thighs,

how I love that u help me run and play,

but maybe one day u could deflate just a little,

so my hiney paws know what it is like to touch the ground when I sleep. :) 

here comes gassy boo boo

The tiny orchestra that is tiny chumley's little tushie has been warming up lately.  A soft serenade of barely perceptible little tweeees and pfwooOOooOooops that sometimes make themselves known more boldly in other ways, thanks to the smattering of new Fromm kibble that I thought we should start slowly mixing in to his regular food this week before we run out of it.  From my perspective, with any luck, the musical score for this transition will be a short one, but I know a certain little gassy boo boo who would be more than happy if this were the never ending soundtrack of his life.

hee hee, mom, is there any way we can wait til school starts to change my kibble? i am pretty sure i can create three new notes and at least two new octaves by then! :) :)

soon 2 b delicious

oooOOOOooOoOoo! mom, I can help u eat that no problem!! :)

turkey chicken whole grain barley whole grain brown rice and wholegrain oats

We were a team, tiny chumley's kibble and I. One half cup of kibble twice a day and all would be well.  Shiny coat, bulky lean muscle mass, and firm, dog and duk museum quality stools.  Sure there were couple of recalls a few years ago, but you learned from that, right? I forgave you. tiny chumley forgave you. But I guess that wasn't enough. 

Researching alternate kibble brands for the little kielbasa wasn't exactly on the radar for things to do this past weekend, but news that tiny chumley's brand was discontinued meant that was exactly what we had to do.  The good news is that there are plenty of four and five star options available nowadays, and the not so great news is that there are plenty of four and five star options out available nowadays. From the ingredients themselves to their sourcing, to where the kibble is made and its nutritional analysis, and to even the kind of facility in which the kibble is made, there are a lot of factors to consider and prioritize.

To narrow the field down a bit and minimize disruption to the little kielbasa's digestive tract, we started with a look at ingredients, hoping to keep them as close as possible to his current food so that the transition won't be confused by the addition of novel ingredients like tapioca and potatoes and non-chicken and or turkey based primary meats.  (I know, it's a little confusing since tiny chumley is so obviously holding tight to his score sample bag of potato and duck food in the picture below, but I think random treat snackie food, which is how we will use this, is different than regular daily eat a lot of it food. if you know what I mean, as Baxter would say, and ps do not tell duk duk about the duk food, he most definitely would also say.)  

After sitting on the floor yesterday perusing ingredients at the little kielbasa's favorite pet store, we narrowed the list down to specific recipes from Wellness, Merrick, Candidae, Fromm Family and perhaps one from Lotus.  Now comes the hard part, working in the gray zone of cross referencing whatever info might be available online with the differences in fat and protein and other nutritional content data, to come up with the one we should transition test.  I am pretty sure tiny chumley himself won't mind whatever we pick, but I do hope his little body will be just as agreeable, for many many years to come. :) 

u know what :)

It's been rather busy this week in top secret makey world, learning and researching stuff and juggling the progress on multiple projects, all while tiny chumley spends his days as he usually does, sometimes helping me, sometimes sleeping in the sun, sometimes eating and digging, and of course barking, and sometimes plotting his own little top secret adventure with his merry little band of toyfriends. :)

...hee hee so we are agreed. this weekend we will finish digging the backyard mega pit and start filling it with u know what so we can u know what in time for u know what so u know what can u know what. unless it u know whats, in which case we u know what by the u know what so we can u know what. any questions? :) :)

wooty hoo :)

dear diary,
yesterday a special package came in the mail from my friend miss debbi and words cannot even express mom and dad's glee at what was inside, or mine either because looky - she sent us a lovely doxie pin, and a card that was addressed to mom and dad but had a super secret howdy message on the outside that I know was just for me.  u know, from one wolf to another. one lucky wolf to another, I should say. especially since that pin she gave us? he is totally holding purpley pink flowers which everybuddy knows is the universal secret stand over there or suffer the stink of purple flowers sign. so when mom wears it and I am by her side, no worries on walkies!

well diary, I have to go so I can ask dad if he can help me write a proper thank u note to miss debbi and then I am going to ask duk duk if he wants to pedal with me 2 the store so we get the gummy worms he owes me back and a frame for our Wolf card so we can hang it in our heat cave.

toodleydoo!
b :) 

wolf and little wolf

...and this, Hank, is a poopie snake I made just last week. i would say it is a grade A/b on account of the corn specks and eye watering pungent aroma,  but u can see physically that it is a little short on account of the fireworks that night if u know what I mean. oh and if u can, if u want to keep your snakes museum quality like this one,, try to poop inside, or as close to the house as u can. and never ever poop on a walkie.  u might think your mom is doing u a favor by picking them up and bagging them nicely, but nopies, u will never see them again.  now, next on our lessons for little puppies agenda is interacting with girls and for that we will need Cassie and our cootie suits...

front seat driver

well, okay maybe I would need just a few big books to sit on but see mom, I can steer just fine. and duk duk is really good with the brakes and the gas plus dad's car is air conditioned so that way our gummy worms will not melt like they would if we took the pedal car. :)

giant blueberry

the little dachshund sat patiently, trying his best to ignore the racing putter patter of his heart, and the twitchy twitch twitch his curious wet nose.  there was no need to rush, he knew.  soon enough, he delicious giant blueberry would be in his tummy, and that would be the end of that. :)

haffie horn honn hthuh hob hay

uh, hood humbuffee het hmee hown hweethz? 

 

laundry day

 pheeeew-wee, duk duk, u were right. "and I thought they smelled bad...on the outside!!". hee hee, I wish the next dryer load would hurry up and finish so we can cover our back door and quadruple our stink power. :)

baxter and duk duk's tiny tales for little puppies: pop! (part 1)

the little dachshund could not believe his luck.  there before him it lay, a tiny kernel of unpopped popcorn. the little dachshund had always heard popcorn pop, and he had always smelled popcorn pop, and he had even tasted delicious popped popcorn, but he had never ever actually seen popcorn actually pop. and so the little dachshund patiently waited, waiting for his tiny popcorn kernel to pop...