in a six (or nine) wolf open sleigh!

hee hee, yeah duk duk, i do not know which one i would pick, either.

i mean, well, with six teeny weenies, the mark six is already a powerful, above entry level option. and it is really cool, what with the tiny frosted gold chain reins...

and the rich red corninthian leather sleigh built for speed and comfort

but the mark nine in ferocious fang white with after market pro x4 internal methane combustion coupling system? well that’s just top of the line, isn’t it?

i mean, it is like the first vehicle ever whose interlinked coupling system relies solely on the foofie generated by teeny weenies. and no tiny chain reins means a quieter ride that allows u to truly enjoy the true and gassy noises of your ride. plus, i mean have u looked at the payload?

the mark nine red corinthian leather sleigh is capable of hauling eleventy gigsnakes to deserving boys and girls everywhere!

yeppies, duk duk, they take so long to make, we only have these two sleigns to offer for cyber brown wednesday, but hopefully we can get mom to make after the holidays. and besides, our storybook teeny weenie mecharamas will be available too and they would be perfect for leaving out all year round.

what’s that, duk duk? hee hee hee, o lemme check..

nopies, not smelly enough! i guess we know what we will be doing today!! :)

beauty and the beast

hee hee, mom, do u think maybe u can ask duk duk to do it because my ferocious ear flappies still need twenty more minutes of deep conditioning. :)

interview with the FArtists : cyber brown wednesday fart fair

well, this year, we wanted to answer the question, what do the teeny weenies for the rest of the year, u know, like, when they are not helping santa.

and, well, to answer that question, me and duk duk thought long and hard, and drew on the depths of our life experience as a ferocious wolf and falcon. hang on -

duk duk, why r u poking at - no, technically it applies to both - cantchoo see we are in the middle of a very professional - okay, okay, fine...

sorry, i meant a ferocious wolf and a ferocious falcon. anyhow, to answer your question, which really, answers our question, when the teeny weenies are not busy helping santa, we felt they would have very normal, very rich lives. playing on the merry go round, living in cute houses, and helping others in a variety of contexts. and, well, what with santa's deep and nostalgic connections in the literary world, the help context that most intrigued us is how they might go off and appear and help in other beloved (mostly) children's stories. hee hee, all while making them their own, of course.

o u mean like, why now? why cyber brown wednesday? well, we started the project in earlier this year, thinking we would be finished in time for a cyber f(ine) art fair in late summer. i mean, we have been going to school for forever now so making peeoramas should be second nature to us, right? but me and duk duk kept having more and more ideas on how to make them cooler with all sorts of interesting details. like, the tiny tiara and tiny handstitched leather shoes and boots? and tiny red leather sleigh?

all things we had to get mom - i mean, all things our talented team had to not only learn how to make, but figure out how to make on a miniature scale.

and then after we made a few peeoramas, we thought, well, these are really cool, but what if we could add movement? you know, to engage the viewer and draw their minds deeper into these little worlds, through the very powerful sensations of touch and motion? so that took some time to figure out. and of course, as u might imagine, fabricate. but we think the results are really worth it and hope others will, too..

hmm, a preview of everything? well, me and duk duk are working on a few stop motion videos to debut our collections so our friends should stay tuned to our instygram, instygram stories, and facebook because we hope to be posting them soon. that way u can see what they look like when they are moving.

so anyhoo, if all goes well we hope to be dooting our teeny weenie peeoramas and mecharamas at our cyber brown wednesday (F)art fair on the 28th of november at nine eastern standard time. o and sometime after that, we hope to debut our new christmas ornament and after that we will have to see what have time to post because do have some tiny dachshund treasure boxes and some teeny weenie trees to finish up.

hm, is there anything else to add? well, mostly that we hope our teeny weenies will all find wonderful homes and we hope that everyone will enjoy the pocket sized tidings card we are enclosing with our orders this year. they are smaller than the postcard we usually like to include, but this year we thought it would be nice to make something that can be put in a wallet or purse so it can be taken everywhere. and we printed it on special pearly card card stock to give it a nice subtle, calming and peaceful sheen. like frost on a window on the night before christmas. i would show it to u but we did not want to spoil the surprise for our friends.

eight little snackies :)

hmmmm, well, mom, they all look really delicious...

are u sure i can only have just one? :)

turnout 2018

hee hee, yeah, hey thanks for voting, mister, come back next year....thanks for voting, other mister, hope it was swirly...o yeah, i see u earned a sticker, too. thanks for voting..hey lady, come back next year. o and miss, thanks for voting...what’s that? this? no, this is for next year’s election. u see..

wolves are so ferocious, they have to vote early so as to not scare off or influence any other voters. and falcons, well, they can early vote, too, but like i was telling duk duk - sometimes the danger in mixing falcons and wolves is that their, um, votes can be so sm-

wait, what’s that? o sorry, i did not mean to keep u - thanks for voting and do come back next year. in fact, come sooner because we can always use more votes, no matter what shape they are. yeah, okay bye bye.

hey thanks for voting, hope it was delightful. yeah thanks lady and mister smell u later...

mom, i do not see any gas masks. r u sure everyone gets a voting sticker for being a good boy or girl and pooping outside today?

paydirt

(sniff sniff) (sniff sniff) (sniff sniff sniff)

(snooooooooooooooooooooort) hee hee oo yes, perfect!!

hey, duk duk, go tell chocobot to bring his chocobutt over here cuz i think this wolf just found the perfect uknowwhere for our uknowwhat. :)

buzzkill

four fingers? no ocho. no wait, are those even fingers? they look kind of fun house swirly but...okay, mom, ima gonna say u r holding up three curly fries and one two three..and four thumbs. now can i have more halloween candy bc i have only had eleventy pieces for breakfast and it is not every day me and duk duk get to stay home from school. :)

happy cootieween

hmm. oo yeah, it looks really good, but i think it goes on the other side.

yeppies, like that! boy, considering we to make our halloween costumes ourselves this year and considering we only had an like an hour to make them all, i think we did pretty good this year, dontchoo, duk duk? i mean, i know we spent most of the time on my costume but u have to admit, it is pretty genius really. like, it is pretty much the scariest thing ever, really, right?

okay, now help me with my chin strap...eeeks! not too tight, a wolf’s gotta eat some gummy worms on the road, u know. okay yeah, that’s better.

yeah, i know they are kind of puffy even for her. maybe we can make flaps for when we do our calendar pictures. but for tonight these will totally work bc the puffy balls just add to the goofy, right? and really, i am already feeling like its eleventy hundred degrees out. but when all the folks get a load of me they’ll be like, omg just take all of my candy already! it will be totally worth it!

okay everybuddy, before we get this show on the road, just remember, it is still me under here. now lemme get into character....(hwuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!)

PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT!! PANT PANT PANT PANT!! :)

hee hee, (PANT PANT) happy (PANT PANT PANT) halloween my (PANT PANT) friends!! :)

remember remember the first of november :)

 

hee hee, yeppies, mom, that’s it. that's our tagline.  me and duk duk really think it’s a winner. i mean, seriously. creatively i think it is our best work by far, and that is saying a lot considering our shop has been open for, what, ocho years or so now? trust us.  we didn't just binge mad men for all the kissy kissy u know.  

and besides, here, see? we already made up all the artwork and there it is for all the world to see, "now even more ferocious". all u have to do is post it and tell everybuddy that the magic starts dropping into our kalyxcraftopia etsy shop the day after halloween. u know, november first, when me and duk duk continue the tradition and update the shop with our supercool new 2019 desk calendars...

...and when we will expand our christmas card collection to include our latest masterpiece, Joy to the World, which we think is pretty neato because me and duk duk decided to recreate the mistletoe card  photo shoot from when i was almost five years old, only now i am almost twelve years old, and how cool is that?

so, yeppies, we even made artwork for our new wintery wolfy hello friend postcard that we would show u now if somedukkie didn't spit gummy worm juice all over our keyboard when we were watching funny you tubey videos.  but i guess that way it can be a supercool surprise everybuddy can look for in the shop, as will be the wallet sized, take it with u always everywhere little gifty surprise we will be including with all our holiday orders this year. 


 






so, um, anyhoo, yeppies.  i think u have everything u need for now, so maybe if u do not mind paying in gummy fish this time that would be swell because me and duk duk want to go to the creek after school today and hunt for gummy bears. :)

powdered sugar yeah

hee hee hee - today must be our lucky day because looky, duk duk, mom forgot to put away this year’s halloween handout candy! and u know what they say - finders poo-

-pers. aw come on, not smarties again!! we may as well be handing out, like, air, or boiled potatoes, or, i dunno....what’s the word for whatever that something is that makes you think, ooo looky! but then for no good reason at all, it totally underwhelms? what’s that, duk duk? yeah, like my school perform- hey, that’s not fair. at least i am not a product of deceptive advertising. this wolf does not promise to deliver anything to anyone other than the wolfiness in which i excel. candies, by definition, should be a delicious sweet treat, flavored with possible fruity or chocolatey overtones. these so called “candies” do not deliver on any of these critical traits.

hee hee, yeah, i agree, duk duk. ashes to ashes, dust 2 dust. and a lot of fun in the process. lemme ask her..

hey mom, um, for no particular reason, may we please borrow your hammer and googles?

poppin

mom, do u think maybe when dad comes back with our boba tea, well, do u think maybe he and i could switch seats and he would let me pop the clutch and pop a wheelie? i mean, i am pretty sure i can do it with dad’s car because i watched a you tube video, but duk duk says i have to prove it. :)

room 101

take my blood? r u serious, doctor mister tushie man?? i mean, i feel fine really. okay, okay, look, i admit i lick my tushie because i just like to. is that what u want me to say? because i just did. and, the last time cassie visited, i may have actually eaten a snackie crumb that may or may not have actually fallen out of her mouth. there, i said it. and not even duk duk knows that. and well, besides...i am not the wolf you seek.

hey, hey, i said, i am not the wolf you seek. aw come on, doesn’t anybuddy speak jedi around here?

look, doctor mister tushie man, duk duk is just right outside and i know if i could have just a moment to talk to him, i am sure we can arrange something that would not only sate your vampric needs, but also provide for years of interesting research. because well, duk duk’s blood, well it posesses a very unique regenerative property that enables super strength, rapid healing, and enhanced broadway / live theater abilities, including but not limited to singing, tap, and acting, qualities most of which i am certain a fine man like yourself could use to enhance -

o wait, what’s that? we are done already? that was quick...and painless. um, doctor mister tushie man, u know all that stuff i just said and all? well, u know i was just pretending, right? and, well, what happens in room 101 stays in room 101 am i right or am i right? o and hey - where’s my snackie? :)

statistically significant

dear diary,
after finally collecting several years worth of data, i am fairly certain that the tushie man does not know how to read. and that is all i really want to say about that now. bc despite making yet another and very clearly worded sign, u can pretty much guess what happened👉😱z

anyhoo, i hope u have a wonderful weekend.

toodleydoo!
b :)

after school delight

eeeeeEEEEEeeeeEeeeeek! hey, that’s MY bowl!! no touchy, no touchy, cassie! SHEESH. can’t a wolf even have a little time to decompress after he gets home from a long day of not listening in school? ay yi yi. now i gotta waste a whole month’s worth of gummy worms just to send my bowl thru the hydrosonic decootaminator like a zilloon times. arrrrrrgh. seriously cassie if u would just learn - ugh, u are not even listening! moooom?

mom, i cannot believe i am asking this, but...if this cassie coming over thing is going 2 keep being a habit, are there any after school programs that u can at least temproarily enroll me and duk duk into? i mean, like, even for math or reading or something??

rear view mirror

hee hee, let’s hurry, mom. i just laid a foofie trap :)