watermelon wednesdays

the little dachshund wiggled with glee. even though i have been out of school for over a week now, he thought to himself, summer vacation does not really start until i get to chomp my first chomp of delicious watermelon. :) 

wet :)

but, mom, why shouldn’t chasing bunnies in the rain count as taking a bath?? we ran thru the stinky purple flower lavender and everything. :) 

tgidiscofriday:)

the little dachshund quietly slept in the sun, dreaming of chasing bunnies and recharging his batteries for disco party later that night. :) 

hypothesis

um, nopies, mom, i have no idea why the kitchen floor is all sticky with honey i mean some unknown gooey substance. maybe some bees broke in, made some sandwiches for their friends, and had a party last nitey nite? i mean, it is just a guess and all, because me and duk duk are such sound sleepers really. :)

noon time in the garden of smelly and ferocious:)

hee hee, hurry, dad! we do not have much time before duk duk will get sospechoso and start looking for me! 

hee hee hee, totally worth saving all those gummy worms!  

okay, now remember, mom, when i say go, u text duk duk and tell him to drop everything and come out back for a code brown beta tango emergency. and then, just as he gets all oooo and ahhhy over his statue and before he passes out, take the picture. or actually, maybe go ahead and just do the whole thing on video. okay? okay. now hang on a second while i hold my breath and ...

 (pfeweeOooOoooooOooooot!) 

... okay, go! :)

strawberry season :)

the little dachshund stared into the big blue planter, his nose twitching with glee. hee hee, just two hours, twenty three minutes, and seven more seconds until our first strawberries of the season are ready to chomp! his experienced little nose told him. some delicious things, the little dachshund knew, were worth the patience of waiting. :) 

sunday hurl

okay, okay, mom. i totally promise me and duk duk will clean up our mess but let me just see who is at the back door because i specifically stated in the delivery instructions that the special uknowwhat me and duk duk ordered be delivered in back so that no buddy will know and that way we can have it all to ourselves and not have to share with - 

aw great. 

sorry nopies wrong house AGAIN, cassie. sheesh what a maroon! cantchoo even tell your smelly backyard from mine? i mean seriously, your poops are like, shapeless, unsophisticated, boulders. they are so lazy, they’re practically a crime against poopmanity.  hee hee, why they’re so awful, even i would show u how to make them better but it’s too bad u can’t st- 

what?? mom! what do u mean invited her to brunchy brunch??? 

4 minus 1 = more 4 me :)

the little dachshund paused in his tracks, his ferocious ears now alerting him to conditions that caused him to consider a change in his evening plans. sneaking up and pounding duk duk while he takes his evening bubble bath would certainly be fun, he thought to himself, but there can only be one thing making

the sound i am hearing, and popcorn for three is much more delicious than popcorn for four. :) 

warp speed

mom, seriously, if u are not going to put the pedal to the metal then can u at least pull over and let me drive?  :) 

blurry monday

Socks were one of the first forms of snackie currency here in tiny chumley’s little world. Back when stairs were something to be raced down, back when a certain little someone’s sausagey body was made of rubber and flubber, we walkied every day, if not even twice a day. And it always started with me, pulling out a pair of socks, and handing them to a very happy boy who would chomp them then race ahead of me, confident in knowing that not only were walkies forthcoming after i put them on, but that a snackie payment in full would be made in exchange for a slobbery wet pair of expertly delivered socks.  

Over the years, for a multitude of reasons, our habits have changed. But one thing will always remain certain. No matter how he delivers them, no matter if we end up going for a walkie or just stay downstairs, successfully delivery of socks will always mean snackies for a certain happy little sausagey boy. And that, my friends, is everything  :) 

bark-1-1

well, mom, i think it should be obvious, but clearly the barkmergency involves two very empty things. one of them being my food bowl, and the other my tummy. :) 

call of duty

...so i would go like, rawwwwr!!! and that would be that really.  so next time we see a bunny, how bout we just let a ferocious wolf do his job, okay? :) 

yesterday good sigh

um, mom, just so u know, the whole not being insufferable all day was a yesterday mother’s day thing. today is a whole new normal day. and this wolf has plenty of catch up wolfing to do :) 

cotton mouth

the little dachshund sometimes wondered why would wake up thirsty, especially after the dreams where his mother gave him a delicious peanut butter filled kong toy. :)

the incredible bulk :)

mom, it does not matter if the tushie man said i should lose a pound. i promise u, u don’t want 2 see me when i am hangry. :) 

window wolfing

mom, if i promise to try and be 25 percent less insufferable, then do u think i can come back outside and, u know, hunt for bunnies while u garden? :) 

probably maybe

well, i was just wondering if maybe me and duk duk could skip school today and, u know, rawwwr around for bunnies. and then, maybe we can help figure out if we can offer the special top peecret u know whats that we finished forever ago in time for a mother’s day doot. like on, o, maybe on may 2nd?  :) 

smelling season

hee hee, um, nopies, mom, u can goto the store without me today. a wolf is busy. :) 

poop deck :)

well, dad, what i was stinking i mean thinking was, well, u see, at least in the navy, they don’t just call it a deck, really, do they? and, well, i know we are not in the navy or anything, but everything is better with poop on it, dontchoo think? :) 

poopsterity

sometimes the little dachshund wondered why when he woke up from his nap, he would see his mom and dad staring at him, smiling with camera in hand as though they had just taken his picture. maybe, he groggily surmised, he looked even more ferociouser when he slept, and mom and dad of course would need to capture such a sight for poopsterity. :)