Wednesday, April 20, 2016

jail break

Yesterday a certain little wolf received a scolding. If I could turn back time, I would know now to react differently, but when I heard his little whimper yelps from a room away, my heart sank. The little kielbasa had been doing fine all morning.  Now off the Gabapentin he was prescribed for pain at the emergency hospital, he was happier,  skippier,  and his tail much more waggy.  And he was surprisingly content to lie in the cradle of his little red bun crate, sunning by an open window in an xpen contained space that allowed me to work nearby, yet also sit with him on occasion to enjoy each other's company.  Orders were filled, emails answered. Noon arrived quickly.

"Stay here, my little friend," I told him as I caressed the warm soft fur of his sun warmed face. "It's time for lunchy lunch. I will be right back with both our lunches and they will be very delicious and we can eat them together right here!   Do not go anywhere.  Stay right here and I will be back very shortly." A kiss on his forehead sealed our deal, and I climbed out of tiny chumley's little jail.  

I had been gone for two and a half  minutes when I heard his painful squeaks over the hum of our microwave. Feelings of dread and worry and wonder fueled my fears as I made my way back to the living room.   Did he turn too fast in bed? Did something fall? How bad will it - 

The distance I had expected to dash was halved when I found the little kielbasa on the opposite side of his golden prison, shaken and still on the rebound from his painful event,  with sad little droopy ears and a furrowed forehead and tail now no longer happy as it had been only moments ago. My little wolf had found a weakness in his makeshift prison cell, and successfully shimmied his way to freedom by way of a low lying pathway under my cutting table.  
The giant gasp I let out foreshadowed for tiny chumley an imminent shower of disapproval.  "Naughty!" I scolded him, "So naughty!" tiny chumley's body shrank under the weight of the words that flowed, his brown eyes seemingly getting moister and sorrier, and little head melting into floor with each word I uttered.   After my brief scolding, I swiftly but carefully returned him to the safety of his improved gilded cage. 

Thankfully, tiny chumley seems physically and emotionally no worse for wear.  But I remain scarred by the experience, feeling careless and stupid for not having checked for the weakness in his cell, feeling frustrated for being able to comfort tiny chumley in familiar ways, and most of all, feeling awful for having scolded a sweet little wolf who was only trying to make way to his mom. 

Scars of this nature are an unusual thing. They can forever burden us and lock us in a world of insecurity and isolation. Or we can become stronger for having earned them, and use them as lessons to guide us into becoming better, more compassionate soulsI have learned a lot from having a sweet little wolf in the house.  And I promise I will learn some more. :)


Jane said...

Baxter, I am sorry you got into trouble, but please forgive your Mom (which I know you have already) but I know she was scared when she heard your cries. Hope you are still getting better today and be careful, ok?

Anonymous said...

The appeal of food is so strong in them. I'm sure he was only afraid of missing lunch. Each time I let Penny chase a bunny I wait for the Yelp but yet I open the door. These fragile little backs are strong yet so weak. Do we live in the moment as they do? No we don't. Who's is the happier more joyful? Probably them. We are burdened by fear, what ifs and grief. Stay put little man and let yourself heal again. Your mamas heart is with you, do what she says. Age does is no kindness in these matters. Remember mamas shoulder is like what you endure. Both of you behave !!!!

Jen said...

Aw I'm so sorry to hear. Little Donut has IVDD too, she's still recovering from back surgery but healing like a champ. Lots and lots of strict crate rest and snuggles and head skritchies. She misses hunting but it's for the best, she still has her big booming bark :) Have a safe and speedy recovery Baxter!

Anonymous said...

Hey little B, healing takes time and sometimes that takes a lot of patience from an inquisitive little wolf! Soon enough you will be back to your skippy, hoppy and happy self. Wally & B

Jill Scoggins said...

Rusty had surgery for his IVDD last year (June 19) and he has healed nicely. Except for the faintest of scars on his back, you'd never know his back legs dangled useless for 4 days while we watched and waited and hoped and prayed that meds alone would bring my little goofball wiener back to normal. They didn't but a very skilled doggy surgeon did. And now he runs and plays and barks and digs and does all the other dachshundy things that dachshunds do. It was expensive and it was hard to keep him quiet in his laundry basket bed for 4 weeks while he healed but it was oh-so-worth it.

I'm hoping and praying Baxter won't have to have surgery but if it comes to that, do know that there is life after IVDD surgery and I have a goofy barky bouncy big-nosed boy to prove it. Good luck to you, I wish you the best.