Showing posts with label dogfriends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dogfriends. Show all posts

Thursday, May 18, 2017

while i protested, bleak and scary


stay with us? seriously??? here?? for a few hours? mom, just one cootie, one single cootie, has an infection radius of 50 meters. that means anyone standing within 50 meters of a contaminated individual has a one hundred percent chance - one hundred percent chance - of becoming infected. not to mention the cootie's rate of cellular mitosis is unparalleled to even the most virulent of infectious diseases. the justinian plague, the black plague, the bubonic plague - they will all look like minor colds compared to what can happen in just five minutes with her in this room. that's why the infected have to stand way over there and that's why SHE has to stand way over there. dontchoo understand, mom???


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

once upon a morning wary...


(sniff sniff...sniff sniff) (sniff...sniff) mother, why do i smell cooties wafting in from the hallway under our bedroom door?

(to be continued..)

Friday, December 18, 2015

thank u please










 wait wait, okay I'm ready, mom...
  
Dear Miss Saundra, Cocoa n Emmy,
Thank you for the lovely and very funny holiday towels. Not only was it very thoughtful but I really like the detailed embroidery on it and it will be a perfect merry addition to greet our guests in the power room of me and duk duk's heat cave.  Also, I really really appreciate that u did not include any cooties on them.  I know it must be difficult, Cocoa and Emmy, on account of your naturally having lots and lots of cooties, but you did a wonderful job standing over there and me and duk duk thank u for that as well. 
Your Grateful Friend, Baxter. :)








 






















okay, mom, i finished my thank u to miss saundra n cocoa n emmy. now can i have the treats they sent me? 

















please? :) :)
 












Wednesday, September 9, 2015

wolf wagon

hee hee, choo choo! hurry little miss sarah! we have to catch up!! choo choo! almost there...almost there... 



hee hee, yeah, so this is my anti cootie mobile and over there is where u stay, Cassie. like, do not even bother thinking about coming over here 2 lick me  because all I have to do is pull my head in and zip the flap and voila, nana nana boo boo. so do not even try it, nosiree.



choo choo! choo choo! hee hee yep, what a great idea this was. I am totally protected from big dogs, panty dogs, barky dogs, girl dogs that do not know how to stay over there (hint hint present company included). I mean seriously, what's not to love about..oo hey...


um, Cassie, can u please poop on that leaf for me? :)


Monday, September 7, 2015

the cassieodrama strain

nope nope nopies nope. not gonna happen nope nope no thank u nope nope nopies nope...mom, cooties...nope nope nopies nope..mom, she's gonna...nope nope no thank u no picture is worth - nope nope...mom I really think we should..


eeeks incoming! incoming! bwoop bwoop! someone activate emergency contamination protocol Cassie-alpha-8 and tell duk duk to get my shower cap and fill the bath immediately with undiluted maximum strength anti-cootie formula!! bwoop bwoop!!




Wednesday, October 29, 2014

#dangerSCARY


dear diary,
there is only one thing scarier for me to show you this wednesday before halloween and since me and duk duk's costumes are still #topsecretSCARY,  today i am showing you the kind of scary i like to call #dangerSCARY, because any second now, my neighbor puppy friend cassie could come up and lick you, or jump on you, or roll you, or slobber all over you. and you would most definitely get covered in cooties.  these are all of the kinds of dangerous and scary things that could happen to you, when you enter ...the Cassie Zone. 

doo-bee-doo-doo, doo-bee-doo-doo,
b. :)







Monday, October 27, 2014

personal sheeshus

Sometimes all a little boy can do when things don't go his way is cope, as only a little boy can. :)





Monday, September 22, 2014

mega movie tease monday: little gladiators


dear diary,
this past weekend i went to my puppy friend hank's house and something tells me once he settles down a little more on the chompy chomp, he and i will be very good friends.  how do i know? well, because he and i are already planning to make our first feature film together.  u know, something that will feature lots and lots of action and probably gladiators and lions and u know, stuff like that.


in fact, we went ahead and made a demo trailer.  it's a little rough and the trailer ends abruptly,  but as Poop T Barnum said, always leave them wanting more.  

toodleydoo!
b. :)


Monday, September 1, 2014

my new friend hank :)

dear diary,
today i finally got to meet lulu's mom's new puppy and my new doxie puppy friend, hank! hank is now twelve weeks old and weighs five pounds and needless to say he is a real squeebert and neither of us could stay still long enough for pictures, so i decided to show you some videos from our first brunchmas playdate, which i figured u might want to see again and again and again so i posted them as viney videos.  all in all we had a lot of fun and the little misses came over and held him and everything! next time we visit together i think i will ask mom if she will make me a shark proof body suit because, well, let's just say that puppy teeth? well they are a whole lot sharper than u would think they are. especially when they are latched on to u like a crab on a finger, or in my case, a puppy on your neck meat.

anyhoo shark suit or not, i sure hope me and hank can get together and play again soon.  i have not yet seen his poopie snakes although mom says they are little peanuts, which would be a nice addition to our collection. 

happy labor day monday and toodleydoo!
b. :)


Sunday, May 18, 2014

stink marks the spot :)


hee hee, no need to be shy, frankie junior my puppy friend who lives in the next neighborhood. go ahead and let the force guide your nose to its destiny!



ooh your nose is cold, Frankie j! Houston, nasal docking procedure with lunar foofie module b.a.x. is a success.  repeat, nasal docking procedure with lunar foofie module b.a.x is a success. commencing second phase lunar module de-pressurization in three, two, one...(pfweeeeeoooeeeoooo!)



hee hee yeah u like it Frankie? the secret ingredient is canned stinky salmon. u should ask for it the next time your mom takes u to the pet store. not only does it make your poop stink, but if u r lucky u might also get the butt scooties. and, if for some reason u cannot find the salmon stuff, try eating some cat poop if u can find it. you will not get quite the same dry down as with the salmon stuff and the base notes are a little earthier, but the taste and texture pair well with both regular low fat kibble and gummy worms, so you can eat it either as a main course, a side, or even dessert.  what's that Frankie? yeah sure I can wait a sec.  I got a million of these so be sure to get your biggest one!



Frankie's gotta go back inside his house and get his pencil and notebook so he can write all ths down.  oh, if he's going back inside, that reminds me -


hey Frankie j! bring a couple of your toys and I will show you how to start your own secret club!! :)




Monday, May 12, 2014

iambic pooptameter :)












i do not play with girls -
























but girls do play with me -
























and so i stand here in the grass -














 








hoping that this too shall pass!














#namethatpoet :)











Monday, April 14, 2014

be my guest :)
















oh yes, your ears do smell very nice, cassie!

but here, let me tell u something my puppy friend.  i know it is sunday and all and normally we do not learn things on account of there being no school on sunday, but since u only just started puppy kindergarten, and i am older and wiser than u, well, let me tell u sumptin because  sniffing ears is nice n all, but real dogs? 










real dogs sniff tushies! here..be my guest!! :) :)


 

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

the life of littles

Tiny chumley didn't like it at all the fateful afternoon a couple weeks back his neighbor puppy friend Cassie accidentally rolled him with her massive and playful paws.  Now he asks her to keep her distance, at least until she is a little older and wiser, but he's happy still to have her visit along with the little misses as she did yesterday and share in the duties of being hugged and squeezed and kissed all over. 



Yesterday was not only the second day of spring break, but it was also, as luck would have it, open window weather. So while little miss Sarah and I worked for her first time on a sewing machine, while little miss Julia made tea party invitations and while Cassie puppy napped a little ways over there, tiny chumley lay his little sun warned noggin on the windowsill, and sniffed the air for bunnies and kitties, and all was happy in everyone's happy little world :) 


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

body language

dear diary,
some things are better left unsaid. but that doesn't mean u cannot say them without ever having said anything at all.  i sure hope she gets the hint.

toodley-doo!
b. :)









Monday, March 10, 2014

teeny tiny viney videos: floats like a poopie snake and stinks like a B


Cassie, I am told, has yet to really bark in her new home. But I think a few more pouncy playtime sessions with her happy little noisy ground hog sized friend will change all that soon enough. :)






   hee hee, do not worry cassie my new friend, soon enough we will bark the same language and i can tell u all the best places to find bunny poop in your yard! :)

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

my new friend Cassie


dear diary, 
guess what! the little misses got a new puppy this past weekend and her name is Cassie. she is only three months old and already she is as big as me, only taller and fluffier. but not so big yet that the little misses cannot carry her around, which is kind of a relief because they used to always want to carry me. she so far has been very quiet and likes to eat bunny poop and pine cones and assorted floor junk, which is pretty cool for a girl.


now, I know what u r thinking, and I have been thinking about it too. but because she is a puppy and still has a lot to learn, I thought I would stand over there because I do not think she even knows where there is, much less here yet. plus this past weekend it was so nice out that mom backed her car out into our driveway and I turned it into a comfy and warm makeshift anti-cootiesphere. Cassie is going to the vet this week for her cootie shot by the way so maybe this weekend we can be in closer proximity and play together and I can show her the ropes for sniffing out bunnies and chasing squirrels.


anyhoo, I have to pack my lunchy lunch for school now so I will smell u later.   

toodleydoo! 
b :)

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

goodbye molly & millie





As we grow older, it seems we collect more than gray hairs and stories of our aches and pains, we collect names.  Of those whom we have met who touched our lives, whom we have loved, and inevitably lost.

Even though we always know from the beginning of our relationship that it is likely we will be adding the names of  our tiny little four legged friends to our list, it never eases the pain when that day arrives, nor does it  provide much comfort for the days thereafter when the world so rudely keeps on spinning. Tiny chumley's list of names grew by two these past few days, and it is with a heavy heart that today we must say goodbye to our friends Molly and Millie, and promise that we will remember them and all our friends whom we have lost, all the rest of our days.  Rest in peace sweet girls, and warmest of hugs to your families <3 br="">




Thursday, September 19, 2013

my friend pretzel :)



dear diary,
our plan to skip school was going along pretty well until lunchtime, when it became very obvious that neither of us wanted to eat acorns we collected when all we had to do was turn back into ourselves and sneak back inside to get the blender and make ourselves some monkey chow milkshakes.  which also was going along pretty well til mom followed the extension cord on out to where we were making our milkshakes and then the jig was up.  and now not only do we have to rewrite our walrus report but we have to write teacher a note explaining why we missed school and also apologize for being so difficult (mom's words not ours because really, it was not so hard doing what we did).  oh, and some other stuff but i forget right now and i am sure mom will remind me.

anyhoo, in some ways i am glad we turned back into ourselves and will go back to school, because later that day, i ran into my friend preztel, and  he said that auditions for the glee club are going to start next week, which means really really need to put the pedal to the metal and work on my new routine. and order my tap shoes.

well diary, i guess that is all for now because me and duk duk have to go work on our walrus report. again.

toodleydoo!
b. :)



Saturday, May 18, 2013

rideys with baxter: my new friend emil





Well hello everybuddy, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, continuing my in depth reporting today from under the superlatives tent here at the Wiener Dog Roast, where things are at the moment definitely slightly roasty because I am in the sun.  But do not worry, because as soon as dad puts me down, I will turn my bluetooth mic on again and we will see about interviewing a very special guest. Okay dad you can put me down now.









(Now, this fella here just won the prize for having traveled the longest distance to get here.  And judging by his mom and dad's super cool outfits or by the language I know I must use to talk to him, I think you might be able to tell where they came from. Okay,  I will ask him now if he has time for an interview, just like my teacher told us to say it in class)
















His name is Emil and he came all the way from Germany, where his mom said dachshunds are actually not very popular at the moment. But at least you can find more standard sized ones there, which means I would not be the only little kielbasa in town if you know what I mean.


















Unfortunately, Emil turned out to be a bit of a charmer with my mom, and although he was very friendly, I did not want mom to share any more of my delicious venison snackies with him and so I sort of had to put an end to our interview early...




Speaking of having to leave early, I have to run and explain to mom why there was an email from teacher talking about finding cardboard cutouts of me and duk duk at our school desks Friday afternoon. And why mom found star trek matinee movie ticket stubs in our backpacks. All I can say is, I hope our relationship with our wii this weekend will still be long and prosperous.  This is Baxter your roving rover reporter, wishing you a Stellar Saturday! :)

Friday, May 17, 2013

rideys with baxter: no no, thank You!







Hello! It's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you again from the Wiener Dog Festival while my mom is still scratchy scratchy.  As hard as it is for me to believe, here at the Wiener Dog Festival, I learned that some doxies do not like their tushies sniffed.









And some doxies, well they do not even like their brother's tushie to be sniffed. Even when you have his brother's permission.







Lucky for me, mom provided enough of a distraction that I could get the data I needed, and I even figured out a better way to collect it!
































So with my newly invented stink trail survey technique, not only could I do my research in secret, but it also went a lot faster.





In fact, it was so fast, I even had time to share a little stink of my own, and I was in the perfect place where it could be enjoyed by all.



In my next post I will tell you about my very special new friend Emil, and a few more interesting from the Wiener Dog Roast .  This is Baxter your roving rover reporter,  wishing you a Foofieriffic Friday! :)