choo choo! choo choo!

okay, dad, only because we are going for a longer walkie,  I will go with u n mom in this thing but we have to do it exactly as we agreed, okay? okay.

hee hee hee, intitiate undocking protocol  alpha wolf falcon bravo. turn starboard left at impulse speed. 

on my mark, engage warp thrusters in three, two, one...blast off!!

hee hee hee, faster dad, faster! choo choo! choo choo! all aboard the poopiestar zippy express! choo choo!! :)

a fist full of gummy worms: how to recover a saddle chair in pictures,plus not enough words to really help with that so good luck but key is to hem your edges such that you can run fishing wire thru and pull things tight like a shower cap then u staple carefully

There are some who might think the biggest challenge of recovering a three dollar saddle chair scored from the thrift store is developing a pattern, or redrawing the pattern with completely new seam lines, or picking the right fabric and cutting fit models. Or finding an extra set of grabby hands to help with fitting and futzing and stapling until everything is smooth and taut and ready to begin its useful life anew.  

But there are those of us graced with the joy of living with sausagey boys and girls who know that the biggest challenge of them all, of doing any project really, is trying to do all of that, with a curious and helpful little wolf planted firmly on your lap :) 

oooo recover a saddle chair? no problemo, mom. just hand me the sharpie and some scissors and I promise me and duk duk will have your pattern drawn up in a jiffy. and for just a few gummy worms more, we can not only recover the chair for u but also machine embroider any monogram u would like, so long as your monogram is four letters long and uses the letters p and o. and o and p. :)  

and seriously, we have only just met

...uh huh. uh huh. oh, i see. so u mean like a jelly donut that's oozing jelly, right? only instead of oozing all over the table, the jelly is kind of oozing on my spinal cord and that can press on my nerves and that is what is causing my pain probably. and there is no peanut butter involved at all, right?..no peanut butter...but a lot of pain...okay. yes, i see, special mister doctor tushie man.  thank u for drawing it for me that was very helpful...






 

 



and...u r sure my diagnosis has nothing 2 do with my not wanting to take a snackie from u, right?  because honestly it smelled delicious but when i was little, my mom taught me not to take snackies from strangers and seriously, we have only just met...

...and, that whole thing where i was too distracted to listen to mom when u wanted to see how far i would move my head so u asked for my leash and i turned on my super duper deluxe  nobuddys-taking-me- anywhere electromagnets? u did not take that personally, right? like, that has nothing to do with what u r saying either, right special mister doctor tushie man? 

..mm-hmm. okay i see...










 

 

 

 

and...so, we will schedule my preanesthesia x-ray and blood work in a few weeks to make sure i can have the MRI so we can see what's what and really decide from there what to do. and in the meanwhile,  i can probably still go to school when it starts, and i can go for simple walkies around the block and stuff like that.  just no running, or jumping, or toyfriend club, or any general displays of ferocious wolfiness of any sort...

 

 well...yeah.... i guess that all sounds doable...

 

 except..maybe, well...

 if i catch duk duk stealing my gummy worms again, am i at least allowed to pound him a little bit?

 

sun day

Sunday came a little earlier in our world this week :) 

wolfy gate

Even when they served only to keep a little wolf from trundling up the stairs by himself, the golden gates of tiny chumley's xpen jail have always been a source of ear pasted back on his head displeasure. Clanky, and in his mind a rickety disaster waiting to fall on him, the taller than necessary golden gates also became a source of displeasure for me and my less than able, still unfreezing shoulder. Something about tiny chumley's jail time needed to change if we were to both survive this ordeal. 

Some wire grid cube shelving panels from the reuse store seemed like a good option to help a little wolf out. A few zip ties later, the little kielbasa's new enclosure is just tall enough to keep him secure, but no so tall that either of us live in fear of hurting ourselves one way or another. And, it seems, it is the perfect height for a little wolf to poke his head over the top and slather on the guilt trip that is my daily penance for keeping him so confined. 

hey mom, this new gate thingy is really nice cuz u can pet my head n stuff and it is easier to lift me out and I like how I can see over it okay, but, u do know I am not getting any younger, right? a wolf needs to run and play and well, u know, do wolfy things with his best friend falcon :)

one tomato, two tomato :)

ooooOOOooOooOoOooo! I spy one tomato, two tomatoes, three tomatoes four,

 five tomatoes, six tomatoes, seven tomatoes more! :) 

pirate quality assurance

..hee hee, okay duk duk take your time getting the shipping box from the garage because this pirate's gotta arrrrrr! arrrrrr! arrrrrrr! arrrrrrr! arrr-

oh why, hello, mother.  yes, do not worry me and duk duk promise to pack and ship this special order puppy pirate hat out today. I was just testing it to make sure the puppy could still wear it even when he is full grown.  see? it may not be as big as our regular sized hat, but it is still equally adorable, dontchoo think, mom?  :) 

(psst - if you are interested in getting an adorable pirate hat for your tiny tennis ball sized noggin wolf, tiny chumley and  I made two extra and they can be found in the shop in the links below)
 https://www.etsy.com/listing/457904104/pirate-hat-for-tiny-heads-numero-uno
 https://www.etsy.com/listing/471395937/pirate-hat-for-tiny-heads-numero-tres

cheese that does not smell like cheese :)

When I was little, I remember some of the best souvenirs I would ever receive were the tiny wrapped bars of airline soaps my aunts give me from their flights to goodness knows where.  So tiny and magical, even normal sized bars of soap were always something I would squirrel away, much for some of the same reasons I now realize that poopie snakes are so precious to tiny chumley. From its lovely smell and often awesome packaging, from its variety of interesting shapes and colors and the chemical processes required to bring it to life, soap is a wonder to behold.

As I grew older, the practicalities of liquid soap overshadowed bar soap, but bar soap still holds a unique fascination for me that until recently I always thought would be something I would appreciate as the work of others. At least the hard core stuff, because I've done melt and pour but not the kind you make from scratch with danger lye and fats and all the smelly stuff that makes handmade soap so cool. And thanks to the light shed upon me by my very can-do makey friend Robin, and the continued (but getting better yay) limitations thrust upon my by my slowly but surely unfreezing shoulder, I have been suiting up and making cold process soap this summer.

I'm pretty excited that I am now at the point where I can play with the aspects of soap making - actually of any making - that interest me. When I can add smell and color, influence design, shape and feel, develop packaging, and think about how it might be something that would prove shop worthy.  This past weekend, tiny chumley and I completed test batch number 6, adding charcoal, and earl grey tea flecked inclusions,  and a dollop of silk melted in lye water and turned into the invisible luxury that is silk enriched soap.  Or at least I think so anyway, because I won't find out for another 6 or so weeks when the soap has cured and it is ready for use.  (Okay if you are really in the know, then as baxter would say, u know i know u know i know that i know u know i know i could use it sooner than that if i really wanted to. But I am not. Or at least I am going to try not to because the cure time is six weeks.)

My experiments in soap making aren't exactly a secret by any means, but for one little wolf, all the smells and delicious looking bottles of oils and the parts of the process where he has to be kept safely away have all built up a curiosity that can hardly be contained anymore, making his current jail time feel that much more restrictive, and raising his suspicions as to what exactly is going on up there. 

mom, I know it does not really smell like cheese from here but if u r making cheese that does not smell like cheese, I am compelled 2 remind u of the agreement made in the fair incarceration act of 2015 which states and I quote, "the little wolf food tax rates for 2016 shall include a 3 percent surcharge regardless of physical involvement in the creation and manufacture of said taxable and edible product. all taxes are due immediately and must be paid in full to said little wolf regardless of incarceration status.  form of compensation shall be determined by the following: a) if the product is completely edible with no anticipated digestive distress then the three percent surcharge shall reflect the amount of product by weight or volume as mutually agreed upon by both parties or by a ferocious falcon in the event that both parties cannot come to satisfactory closure on this matter. b) if the product contains edible ingredients but the final product deemed inedible by traditional and accepted dietary assessment methodologies, then the three percent surcharge shall be applied against the resulting average of six months worth of pre-incarceration meal sizes and payment made in kibble. c) if the product is completely made of -" wait, I would go on but I am pretty sure I smelled olive oil when u were making it, so really, whether it is b or c I think it is best to just pay up now, dontchoo think, mom? :)

 

 

smell hole

Summer heat and humidity isn't exactly welcome in our house this time of year, but when a bored and very much jailed little wolf needs the kind of sensory stimulation that only Mother Nature can provide, sometimes you just gotta find a way to a compromise.

oooooOOoOOoo an insulated smell hole! 

thanks mom! what a great use for all those air filled packing thingies we get in all our amazon packages. now, I was just wondering, well, u see how I have all this space on the ledge? well, dontchoo think a nice bowl of chunky chicken water would fit on it just perfectly? :) 

a mighty storm

tiny chumley's paw sticks out on occasion, something that would be kind of cute were it not for the fact that it is a probable indicator of nerve root pain and symptomatic of something likely far more serious.  

we've been able to manage his condition medically, but with recent and more frequent bouts being triggered by increasingly innocuous activity, we seem to be headed slowly but surely into the murky waters that many cervically disc challenged dachshunds have sailed in before. the most immediate next step, considering further diagnostics and plotting our course from there, all while a certain little wolf shows his displeasure with the prospect of seeing so many tushie men and women, and the return of the dreaded golden gates of jail.   

mom, like it is not even bad enough that school will be starting this month and I know we still have many things to be thankful for, but jail time too? If it helps me stay out, I promise I will try not to be as ferocious a wolf as I usually am and I will show u during my laser treatment today so u can see for yourself :)

happy unicorn appreciation day :)

.....o chocobot, we really love u, yes we doooo-OOOOoooOOooOOoooooOOOOOO!
















 



hee hee, okay no wait lil pink puppy not yet. first we have to say it and then we can all u know what...ready, and a one and a two and a three..

happy unicorn appreciation day, chocobot!! :)

 okay now let's dig in!! :)

 

poopiekinesis

well, duk duk, seeing as how we have nothing but time on our hands while we watch mom work, maybe if we stare at the snackie jar long enough, it will finally happen. :)  

pleeeeeease?

well, okay mom, i promise to be a good boy while u check my teeth for tartar but in exchange, maybe u can promise that after we finish I can have an entire dad sized bowl of delicious strawberries, tomatoes, and corn. 

pleeeeeeese? :) 

etsy fresh: hello my friend summer fun postcard ocho pack :)

dear diary,
sometimes the best of plans gets pooped on by factors outside your control. like me and duk duk's latest top secret, very ferocious rainbow Smelly project for our etsy shop?  totally rescheduled to the cooler shipping months of fall. because, well, i cannot tell you much about that on account of our product being top secret.  but, we are happy to tell you that in the meanwhile,  we restocked mom's shop with our  first Smelly project, the tiny reed diffuser ambient aroma experience set! so if u missed out or if u just realized u had more places to smell that u originally thought, or maybe if u realized a friend might like or need one too, or were maybe u were wondering what falcon burps and wolf paws smell like, now is the time to score it.

 oh! and, if your summer has been kind of going like ours and if it's not been one thing it's another and next thing u know here it is the middle of summer and u haven't even crossed off a third of your summer fun list yet?  well, maybe it is time to put away that list and just have some simple ez-pz fun.  like, well, u know, besides sniffing our tiny diffuser set, maybe u want to catch up with family and friends by sending them a cute hello. or, maybe u can ez-pz redecorate your personal space like we did for mom, with the super cool cards from the special new set we just added to our shop, the  hello my friend summer fun postcard ocho pack.  we call it ocho  because u get eight, and it includes seven of the gifty postcards we have sent out in the past with our orders, plus a super cool new one that me and duk duk made just for this set. i like to think of the ocho pack as a study in wolfiness, because this set of postcards pretty much shows me from when i was a little red wigglepup, all the way thru to the wolf that i am today. but whether or not u display them in chronological order or jumble them to meet some other design criteria, or whether or not u send them to friends or keep them, or maybe write some friends and keep some postcards? well whether or not u do any of that is entirely up to you. which is just how summer should be.

well diary, it has been fun catching up with you and i hope u will consider enjoying the new goods we put in mom's kalyxcraftopia etsy shop,  but i regretfully must bid u adieu so me and duk duk can call chocobot and convince him to come home before thor comes thru yesterday's rainbow portal  and gives us a hard time about the whole poopin a loki and thor me shebang.  it is not even really that we are concerned that his visit is justified or that he might use his hammer on us, so much as it is his breath stinks way more than u think it would cuz he's like, a zillion years old, and pretty much the only thing u can do to keep from passing out is hope that he doesn't realize the only reason u have a unicorn in the room is to hope that your unicorn will rainbow foofie just enough to neutralize said breath without him noticing else he might get provoked into a super long monologue about respect and power and blah blah blah and then you're like, okay, thor, please, keep going but we've been talking so long i really need to make a poopie snake so i will be right back. but when you're outside you're like, uh oh, dang, feels like i got a loki hangin. but u can't ask your dad to thor me with thor around, so u walk back in all dainty like hoping thor won't notice your dingly dangly or the o-d-o-r.   which u actially gte away with but just as thor's wrapping up,  your mom walks in and she's like, two sniffs in the air and says, hey, who pooped a loki?? and where's that incredibly foul breathy smell coming from? and then we all get thored by thor some more.


toodleydoo!
b :)

delicious monday

oooo, I smell chunky chicken water and  corn and garden fresh cherry tomatoes! I love the #deliciousmondays of summer, dontchoo, duk duk? 

sausage and plaid hot pocket

There are sounds in his household that every little wolf learns to recognize and act accordingly. A knock at the front door requires ferocious and incessant barking, tiny chumley knows, while the sound of the dryer opening merits a prompt and speedy appearance by the laundry room door, lest he miss out on becoming the roasty toasty sausagey center of a lavender and vanilla scented, hot laundry pile shaped bun.   And the sound of his lunchy lunch being made? Well that requires a wolf's full and focused attention, no matter what it his he might already be doing. :) 

hand me downs

hthaz hokay hmom, I hoo noth hare hwhat hullor mhy hoothrush ith htho longh ash ith hath hpoultree fhlavored hoothpathe hon hit. :) 

the not so secret life of pet wolves

well mom, if u cannot see the irony of leaving me at home all alone on a Sunday afternoon while u and dad go see the secret life of pets with the little misses and their mom and dad, then I think I am perfectly ok keeping my back turned and letting my tail and ears speak for all of me. 

something 2 b jelly about :)

hee hee well mom, I guess if u make us more corn on the cob, me and duk duk could make u one too. :) 

the hungry little wolf :)

'o our dear mother will never notice just one tiny tomato missing from today's bountiful harvest,' the mighty and ferocious wolf told his watchful falcon friend. and then he ate another...