Thursday, March 26, 2009

Duk Duk attacked by unknown assailant

Duk Duk the squeaky stuffed toy duck is in critical condition after suffering an apparent maul attack late yesterday evening in his family's home. No longer able to speak, Duk Duk has not yet provided any clues as to the reason he may have been mauled.

A source close to Duk Duk who wishes to remain anonymous has this to say about the incident, "Duk Duk was always a good friend. I can't imagine why anyone would do this to him. I mean, sure he's fuzzy and his little neck with the plastic thingy in it was just the right size for crunching and when you shook him he'd squeak and squeak and then when you shook him more....uh, hey is that my cell phone I hear? Can we pick up on this later?"

Based on forensic evidence, police at the crime scene believe the suspect to be around fifteen inches high and seventeen pounds. If you have any information that might be useful in solving this crime, please contact local authorities immediately.


Unknown said...

LMAO! Tweeting about this!

firstyouleap said...

I have another suspect at my house!

Mike said...

I happen to know another wiener dog that strikes with force, removes any squeeker, and disappears into nothingness... Love your blog!

Anonymous said...

Dachshund Luke would fit the bill and past records confirm he has attacked many small squeaky furry things. However, he has been under surveillance since his last incident that involved a rather violent removal of a squeaker from an orange furry carrot.