Operation Dinosaur Bone

dear diary,
yesterday i had a grand ol time gnawing on a giant rawhide bone that mom gave me for being good all week long. it was so big, i was sure it came from a dinosaur! at first i didn't know what to do with it cause it was so big, but once i found a quiet space under the coffee table, i settled down and started gnawing away. you can imagine my disappointment when mom came back like half an hour later to put my bone away. i barely finished half of one of the knots! she said i might get sick if i ate too much in one day and that she would keep the bone safe in the laundry room until i could have it again later this week. later? like WHEN is that??? do i even know how to tell time???

then this morning i got all excited cause I thought she was going to give it to me when she came out of the laundry room but all she had was my morning snack. i tried to show her my disappointment by snubbing it. i even spat out the piece of kibble she put into my mouth. but it turns out my tummy wasn't very happy with that decision and so a couple of minutes later i snuck back to the pile of food and ate it. duk duk laughed at me because he said the whole thing made me look like a maroon. i really need to come up with something better cause i don't think i'm gonna be able to hypnotize her again. duk duk thinks i should spring this new look on her that i've been workin on. do you like it? i try to make my body look as tiny as possible and then i do this shivering like i've been starving out in the cold. i know, it's summer and like a hundred degrees out, so i'm not sure if it's gonna work or not. if you got any ideas on how i can get at that bone, please let me know.

toodles,
b.