WANTED: Motorized rotisserie spit bed with paw-actuated sunscreen baster, dachshund sized, to ensure even tummy tanning and prevent tan lines, thereby reducing future confusion regarding whether or not I need a bath. For purchase or rent thru summer. Serious offers only, contact T. Chumley by leaving a mark at fire hydrant #345.
11 comments:
hehe did he get a sunburn there? or is that just his tummy coloring? or...DIRT?? oh wait..that's the debatable issue isn't it?
Baxter, hire me as your personal assistant and i'll turn you over properly to get an even tan ;)
i'm well qualified. I like the sun, and i'll even take you to the beach!
Oh, Baxter. Come to Arizona. We'll have that tummy tan in no time! It was 102 here today and Frankie collapsed in the sun like the little pork loin she is! :)
Dear Cousin Baxter,
We are in agreement with Alli and Frankie. Sunny Arizona is made for doxies like us. Sun bathing is all day every day guaranteed. No wet paws ever again aside from a swim in the pool. Feel free to visit our domain in Phoenix at anytime.
love,
your (former Chicago) Doxie friends,
Chloe & Madeline
hahaha! I had that problem, too. My tummy got darker and my Mom thought it was dirt... she scrubbed and scrubbed me... and then started laughing because she realized I was just tan. haha! She's so dumb. She didn't know dogs could get tans. She bought me some sunscreen, but when ever she tries to put it on me I run away as fast as I can.
~Milly
Hi, Baxter!
My tummy looks dirty all the time and like Milly... my moms has an scrubbing obsession... it took some time for her to understand it is caused by the tanning sesions I have here!
I hope you find the perfect solucion for a natural and complete tan!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza
B - I just got back from the pool, where I had a nice tanning session myself. (Well, except ex-boyfriend was also at pool, but anyway.) I would happily be your tanning butler! (And nice shot of your HP tattoo. Are you getting ready for the "Deathly Hallows" scene debut during tonight's MTV Movie Awards?)
Needs butter.
oooh buttah! if somebody put that on me, Joey & Maggie, I'd be lickin myself like all day long! Which wouldn't be a bad thing in my book, especially if it were peanut buttah!
hee - nope, jiorji, that's all tan, well, except for my mark of zorro tat, and my inner thighs where i am pink as a piggy still! oooh, u sound like u would be a super personal assistant for me! do u also give belly rubs?
oh allie n frankie n chloe n madeline - mom says one day she will take me to arizona so we can shop for beads. which didn't sound too interestin to me so maybe i can just hang with you guys and chew on some 'hide by the pool.
o lemme tell ya, lorenza n milshelb mom, i really didn't deserve that bath the first time mom thought i was dirty. mom totally owes me like a get out of bath free card for that one. which i am totally usin this summer cuz we haven't been going playgroup you see, and that's when i normally get a bath, but this summer? i've been without a bath for over three months now! yeah i know, i'm totally stinkin and i love it! i just wish mom wouldn't comb me so much.
hi kerri! what a bummer your ex boyfriend was there! i would have totally peed on him for you! ooh, is the mtv awards on tonight? i gotta run n hide the remote from mom n dad so they don't change the channel on me!
Aw Baxter you are sooooo cleaver. I would like one of those myself.
hehehe
Speaking as a dermatologist - I just can't condone that tanning!!! :) Will have to research dog tanning and skin cancer. Surely you can use some of the sunscreen I sent?? I make sure Ike, Otto, and Linus stay "pale"!!
Oops, sio, I didn't want to take advantage but now that you mention it - so what SPF, and with Baxter liking to lick lotion, and so would be any problems with him, uh, ingesting the sunscreen? Cuz I'd be totally up for doin it!
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