the scentient sentinel

hee hee, dad, i’m pretty sure that is not how u use that thing.

no seriuously, dad, i’ve watched mom use it like a gazillion times and she never - i mean, u cannot be doing it right bc it doesn’t even smell in here and that pretty much is like the only reason why i personally would even consider - wait, what?

fixing it? what do u mean ?

but dad, i mean, if it is doing that all by itself...i mean, well, dontchoo see?? after all these years of “using” it, we were actually feeding it. and now, finally, it has evolved and become self aware and here u r taking its lid off trying to fix it when really there is nothing here at all to fix. in fact, we should be celebrating its ascent into sentience with like, a party or something really. not gutting it like some common - dad? dad r u even listening to me?

mom, can u please tell dad that he is interfering with a highly complex situation beyond his understanding and that he should put everything back and cease all operations immediately?

o and tell him if he finds any tightly wrapped packages of gummy worms marked top secret do not show duk duk on them - well if he finds anything like that, like behind its water tank or something, then i am pretty sure it did that. u know, because it became self aware and all. :)