ferociouser :)

what? no, mom, seriously. here, let me help…

rawwwr! 

okay, which one? :) 

thilly :)

thufferin thuccothath! hee hee, thee? wonth thoo thart, thoo canth thtop! he thaw theethaws hby the theethore. i could hdo thith all thay! 

today i am sixteen :)

hee hee o m g! 

my birthday crown is even better than i imagined! it is so incredibly ferocious! i am sure mom will not mind if a wolf tries it on before everybuddy gets here. 



hee hee, hey look at me i’m king of the wol - wait nope nopies nope abort abort!  



mom, i regret to inform you that physics of ferociousness are such that it will be impossible for me to wear this lovely crown u made without putting the universe at great risk. the combination of two extreme powers of ferociousness that u see before you are not simply additive, they are logarithmically exponential.  i wore the crown for like two seconds and already i could feel the fabric of the universe tearing.  maybe if we hurry, we could go with a plan b for my birthday picture , u know, with me just being here next to it. although, a wolf cannot guarantee anything because he has already been standing next to it for all this time. 

well, i might be able to channel some of the ferociousness to my funny bone but even then i am just not sure we can get the results we r … rawwr … the results we r .. hee hee phoowee… rawwr… the results we r looking… 

..for.   um, maybe we should just skip to the part where we bring out my meat cake?  i will wait here. gee, i wonder what is taking duk duk and  chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy so long. they should be here by now.



hee hee ooOOOOooooOOOoooo!  now that’s what i’m talking about. . 



sixteen carrot candles on a meat cake bigger than my head! and all my favorite fruits! wait’ll duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy see  - 




hey hey! where did everybuddy come from so fast?? 




hee hee, just remember, no touchies just lookies… boy, if only dad was as fast as u guys are when the cake comes out. o wait i think i finally hear him! 




hee hee , happy birthday 2 me! :) 

have yourself a wolfy little christmas :)

butt we have to, mom. it is the merriest time of the year, u know.  or at least it will be we share all me and duk duk’s latest genius idea with the world….well, sure we can still doot before christmas. my birthday monday, one day for pictures, one day for listings and maybe some last minute marketing, and poopso facto voila we doot our new tiny book and related (f)Art on thursday, noon and nine pm est!   i mean, u r practically done, right? all u have to do is finish everything and finish my birthday crown and make my birthday cake and wrap all my birthday presents and take my birthday picture this weekend. ezpz.  and 2 help out, me and duk duk can do all the menu planning and cooking until then. in fact, dontchoo think tonitey nite would be a good nite for turdelini poopanara with shaved carpoopio and poop nuts? it will be absolutely smellylicious! :) 

all is bright and usually funny :)

rawwwwr!  rawwwwr!  rawwwwwr!

what?? mom, u know i cannot help it anymore. i’m a wolf not puppy.  plus, the holidays can always use a little more merry merry rawwr rawwr, dontchoo think? :) 

(psst - besides tiny chumley’s magical Edelpoop teeny weenie musical wonderlands, here is a peek at some other goodies we will be dooting on cyber brown wednesday, noon and nine pm est, in very limited quantities. ) 

 

happy stinksgiving:)

hee hee, now that we have the hang of this thing, duk duk, we can make gazillions and paste them everywhere!! u know, it really is too bad thanksgiving is just one day. i mean, there aren’t any presents or anything like that, but nobody is watching u all year long, either. u can just be u, no strings attached. and there’s the eating, and more eating, and more eating, and if u r lucky, there is more eating after that. i can see why everybuddy is thankful on thanksgiving. 

 me? hmmm. well, i am grateful today, obviously. and for u and your smelly butt, mom, dad who both have smelly butts but apparently it is not appropriate to tell them that so u just kind of have to enjoy it peecretly, chocobot even tho he has been a chocobutt lately, lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy and, well, all our friends in cyberspace, of course, and…. o i am grateful that on days like 2 day cassie keeps her smelly butt at home. and for finding this thing, and for having the password to mom’s amazon so we can order more refills and - 

o snap i hear mom coming! 

quick help me hidey hide all these  - whoops, too late. 

what? um, we were doing nothing really. is this the, um, thingy u want us to use to print all stickers for the name cards?  :) 

drumstick :)

um, not a turkey leg, mom. i am one hundred percent wolf meat. :) 

there will be doot :)

hee hee, i know, me and duk duk’s idea is genius, right? now hurry up and start making, mom. there are only 29 more making days til cyber brown wednesday. less if u factor in thanksgiving and, u know, family time and irl time. :) 

the scentinel:)

the little dachshund roused from his deep evening sleep, keenly aware that his nose would never wake him unless something good was happening. hmmmm, he wondered only for a very brief moment as his eyes locked on what his nose already knew. sleeping, he knew, could always wait until later.  “mom, i was sleeping but now i am awakey wake and surely u need help finishing those strawberries, dontchoo?” :) 

the most wonderful season of the year :)

the little dachshund breathed a sigh of relief. not only was today a brand new day, it was a day when he would not have to worry about anyone slobbering on his head, or drinking his water, or stepping all over him. or, more importantly, he thought to himself with the utmost of gratitude, he would not have to worry about catching cooties. “after i help u with chores and projects today and take my wolfy recharge nap,” the little dachshund excitedly suggested his mother, “maybe we can make pizza poopbolis and plt sandwiches for our picnic. u know, the one we should definitely have now that the weather is cooler and the leaves are falling and the world is getting all orange and brown and yellow.” 

breathless :)

(pfweeeeoooOOOOooooOOOOOoooooOoot!) 

hee hee, um, sorry… 

but a wolf’s gotta do something to improve the  panty mc pant pant air in here. it’s almost lunchy lunch time. :)

no ifs ands or smelly butts :)

now, cassie, mom is going 2 open this door. u stay here while a ferocious wolf goes out does his business. in private. no ifs ands or smelly butts. okay? okay. 

hey hey, what the - 

ewww eeew eeeew! cassie! no touchy! no touchy!

sheesh!!!

mom, r u sure this top peecret project u r working on for cassie is worth it?? 

waterproof

how long? well, as long as a wolf has to, really. 

i mean, mom,  u have already made it very clear that a wolf has 2 b civil when usmellwho comes  over this morning, but..

that doesn’t mean his head has to get all slobbered on, does it? 

eructation nation :)

(blearrrrrrrrrrrk) (blurghokkkkkk) (bwa-aaaaaaa-aaaak) hee hee (bwooooo-ooo-oooook) (uk-hwoooooooooooook) hee hee hee  (guh kwaaaa oook) (bwaaaaa-ooooooo-uk) (op aaaaaa-

what?? inconsiderate? u said to de-gas before bed and technically u r not in bed yet so we are not in bed, only me and dad. and besides, a wolf is too being considerate. i did all the smelly stuff outside already :)

j is for jelly

Sunny Monday mornings were made for naps in the sun :)  

if u like poopie coladas

standing in what he thought was the utmost of courteous locations given the frequency of flatulent foofies emanating from his own ferocious behindy hiney, the little dachshund peered out from behind his mother’s legs as he answered his father’s question.  “nopies, sorry, dad,” said the little dachshund with sincere conviction, “as u r aware, in wolfspeak, we have many different words for pooping in many different weather situations, but there is no word for pooping in weather like this. because a wolf cannot poop in weather like this. hee hee, um, at least not outside…” 

some dry, some wet :)

what? it is just a song me and duk duk made better, because, u know, a wolf is very hungry, most of the time. and he definitely likes canned food mixed in with his kibble nowadays, am i right or am i right? so, anyhoo, ipso poopto “sunrise, sunset” from fiddler on the roof becomes “some dry, some wet”, from our upcoming holiday musical spectacular, pooper on the stoop. we r still working out the casting but u want us to maybe sing it 4 u later? :) 

first in flight :)

hee hee, u want 2 fly, too, mom?  it is really fun! me and dad are giving rideys, five for a bag of gummy worms. act now and get three bonus poopie de loops , i mean loopy de loops.   it is up to u if u want to poopify them. :)