happy hello ween :)

well, i know sewing pleather and sewing tiny are really difficult, mom, but i am really disappointed. because yesterday u said that they were all done, which i took 2 mean obviously that they were ALL done, including chocobot's and lulu the tiger's and lil pink puppy's costumes, because basically they are just the same as mine, only different shaped and sized. i even had your status down as green in our project master file report as little as three hours ago.but  now here are at t minus twenty4 hours about to start our dry run with the little misses, and Project OompaWonkaWinked is totally in deep poopies. which, on any other day would be just fine because, well, u know, poopies.  but we are talking candy here, mom, candy, and the one opportunity a year to get lots of it for free. 

okay, so, our scientifically optimized trick or treat schedule requires us to be at house number one by five pm, so with travel and snackie time, plus a little foofie factor thrown in for good measure, the new and final costume dropsqueak deadline is three pm.

well, we've got a dry run and u have work to do, so i won't keep u any longer, mom. and i would like to thank u for your time and contribution to Project OoompaWonkaWinked thus far.  bye mom, we'll see u after the dry run.

 




hee hee, finally, a use for all that mumbo jumbo speak i always hear dad using on his work calls.  u don't think i was too hard on her, do u, duk duk?  yeah, u r right, there is no room for babies in project OWW.

okay, so, when we go to the little misses house, remember, duk duk, since u won the guess whose foofie game, u are U Know Who.  and that means u have to do all the talking - candy recall, effective immediately, but this time instead of blueberries, it turns people into falcons, or wolves, or tigers, yadda yadda yadda.  u can improvise a little to keep it from sounding too scripted, but stay in character and remember to work with what we have. main message is, candy defective, sincere apologies, we are here to take it back 4 u and my very cute and diminutive u know whats will gladly help u.  what u say will be very important because i think on my own people will look at me and be like, who's the witch wearing the shiny hurricanes onesie? (siri, research note to self: does tim burton like hockey?)

now, the plan is for the rest of us to be quiet and just collect the candy, but if prompted, we have 2 be ready to sing and dance.  lulu the tiger and chocobot, have u both been eating chocobot's special glitter this week and practicing the helium foofie?  good. 

 well, alrighty then, i think we're ready to start this dry run.  all together on three.  one. two. three...

good morning starshine, the earth says hello! :)

 

 

another brick in the wall

...hee hee, and last but not least, the u know what for the u know what so we can u know what!

boy, i sure thought it would stink that mom is making us make our own lunchy lunches this year for school, but, i think it is going to turn out quite nice, dontchoo think, everybuddy? 

i mean, we have so many good ideas, the hardest part was figuring out what not to pack for our first day of school, really. 

I sure hope we packed enough peanut butter and smelly jelly cuz once everybuddy sees how the u know what u know whats the U know whatter, they are all gonna want one. ooh - how are we doing on time? 

okay, duk duk and lil pink puppy, u guys keep working on getting our lunchy lunch box 2 shut,  and I will get out of my jammies and fire up the pedal car while chocobot and lulu the tiger get our backpacks and tell mom we are on our way :)

c.o.d.

um, no, mister man in brown, there is nobuddy here by the name of bd poopsalot. and i checked with my mother just like u asked me to and nobuddy here is expecting any c.o.d. delivery of a mega fortress of magnitude quad suspension compound action hyper spring loaded tri bucket trebuchet.  but maybe, if i close this door and u pretend 2 walk away and bring it to the side of the house, u might find a tiger and a unicorn who might know a thing or two and they just might b able 2 help u. :)

midday in the garden of gruesome and gore

..yeah i know those stinky bassets totally deserved it. and besides, losing my digging privileges for two days and having to read this book isn't too bad really because well, a) it's raining out anyway, and b) do not tell mom, but this book has not been too bad so far, dontchoo think, duk duk?  i mean, sure there are words in it, but everybuddy knows u can just skip that stuff so long as there are pictures to look at.
 

and yeah, i submit that the pictures certainly could be way more gruesome. and i question whether this book is really a work of nonfiction like it thinks it is, because look at how close all the boys and girls are standing to each other.  nobuddy does that in real life. that's how u catch cooties.

but, hmmm, well, now that i've said that out loud, i take back what i said about these pictures not being very gruesome. because, well, since the girls are totally not standing over there, u just know that any moment the boys will turn into cootie infected zombies. and then things will really take a turn, what with the whole zombiefication process turning their eyes red, their feet into mighty meat tearing talons, and their beaks into razor sharp precision pecking instruments of gore. nobuddy would stand a chance and then the world would be ruled by zombies and nobuddy would care anymore where u pooped or how many gummy worms u ate or even bother with school or chores...

...boy i cannot wait 2 turn the page now, duk duk, can u? just stay close 2 me because i am pretty sure things are about 2 get super scary. :)

the princess and the unicorn

hee hee, before you take the picture, please make sure my buns are even, mom.  princess leia's buns are always even. :)

I'm not sure what I find so endearing about this behind the scenes picture from our little unicorn appreciation day shoot, but whatever the reason, it seems like a perfect photo to close the week. Go out and make your fun this weekend, even if it means getting help from your mom to put on your Leia buns :) 
 

happy unicorn appreciation day :)

The slow, hot days of summer vacation can go by a little faster when there are unicorn holidays to celebrate, made up songs based on Christmas carols to sing, and happy go lucky friends to share them with. :)  

 

 

 happy unicorn appreciation day my friends :)

u know what :)

It's been rather busy this week in top secret makey world, learning and researching stuff and juggling the progress on multiple projects, all while tiny chumley spends his days as he usually does, sometimes helping me, sometimes sleeping in the sun, sometimes eating and digging, and of course barking, and sometimes plotting his own little top secret adventure with his merry little band of toyfriends. :)

...hee hee so we are agreed. this weekend we will finish digging the backyard mega pit and start filling it with u know what so we can u know what in time for u know what so u know what can u know what. unless it u know whats, in which case we u know what by the u know what so we can u know what. any questions? :) :)

we so luckee

ooooOOoOoOooOOoooo!! delicious snackies!! boy that sure was nice of miss pam and bailey to send us this package, wasn't it, duk duk? sometimes i think we are the luckiesy dog and duk in the whole world!

and looky - they even sent us more awesome poop bags refills so we can fill our next litter of tiny pooper poop bag dispenser and snackie holders! 

hee hee, "chasing baxter".  like u would really have 2 do that if u were gonna give us a bag of poopie. we'd be like just standing there saying, "yes please, fork it over", right duk duk?

yeppies. we should totally write miss pam and bailey a very nice thank u card today. well, maaaybe just after..

last one to eat eleventy threeve snackies is a rotten poopie snake!! :) :)

summer vacation: dia uno

hee hee hee, u got that right, duk duk.  all we need 2 do is find a trampoline and -- oh, hi mom. what's that? o, just getting ready to, um, well u know, mom...do nothing in particular really. :)

#truestories

so, yesterday, me and duk duk decided to make me a motorcycle helmet out of biodegradable packing peanuts because, well, we had a ton of them, and all u do is just stick them together with water and, well,  u know, we thought me wearing a big ol packing peanut helmet would be really funny for today's blog posty. and so, anyway, while we were making it, the post lady arrived and u could tell she was going to bring us a package, so i asked mom 2 take off my helmet real quick and set it aside because u know, i was gonna get all barky and stuff. and, anyhow lo and behold the postlady brought us the zucchini noodle maker we ordered, so well, long story short, while mom and duk duk were busy making cucumber curly ribbons up on the countertop because we did not have any zucchini because none of us thought our package would arrive so quickly, well, my helmet smelled so popcorny delicious, and it was just lying there so...well, i sort of ate it. before we could take pictures. and that was pretty much our yesterday. which brings us 2 today. and u know, this picture of duk duk and me, not wearing my packing peanut helmet :)

friday night lights

..hee hee, first let me say, pato pato, i am so glad u and anka anka could come visit us this weekend! and that's right, since none of us have our blindfolds with us, duk duk and anka anka will go first and we will have 2 guess what they ate. if we both get it right then they have 2 give us each a gummy worm and we get another turn.  if we get it wrong, then we will have to give them each a gummy worm and it is their turn to guess.  the team who gets the first threeve consecutive answers correct before mom tells us to stop wins.  if mom tells us to stop before either team reaches the goal then the game is a draw and we follow secret rendezvous protocol number alpha tango ocho to meet at the new location to start a new game.  if a player runs out of foofie, he can call on his teammate to substitute for him.  if both team members fail to produce a foofie within the agreed upon sixty miss-a-poopie time limit, then the other team gets to decide whether or not the empty team's time limit can be extended, and if so, the other team also gets to decide the means by which they can earn the extension. if the other team decides against time extension, then the empty team must fork over 1.5 gummy worms for each loss on their next turn.  and, if at any time a poopie shows up, the pooping team must collect it, categorize it, seal it carefully, and donate it to our impressive poopie museum. and then game immediately goes into spin and speed overdrive, which needless to say, involves spinning and speeding.  any questions? :)
 

 

there will be #poopiedoot :)

 
Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to u today on some very special additions and surprises coming tonight at nine o'clock PM EST to my mom's Kalyxcraftopia Etsy shop.  Now, everybuddy knows the first rule of makey design and product development is to start with what u know and love, and figure out how u can add your own unique voice to it.  Like, u know, how a dog bowl is a dog bowl but some just seem way awesomer than others because they speak to u in some way?
 
 




So, when mom asked me and duk duk earlier this year if we could help her develop a new product for our shop, we started with this simple rule.  And, well, you know how me and duk duk know poop and snackies, and we know how everybuddy seems to like collecting poop and eating snackies?  We decided to design this for mom to make - (dunt da dahhhhh!) - say hello to our super cool, super new, super funny and super cute Tiny Pooper poop bag dispenser and secret snackie holders!!

Me and duk duk will be busy working on the etsy listings all day today not only for our first litter of Tiny Poopers, but also - for our friends who like to carry more than just poopie bags and snackies on their walkie, like, say maybe also an iphoney and keys and stuff, - we sized up our design and developed our new Walking Weenie Wiener Walker compact crossbody purse, which we will also debut tonight at nine o'clock PM EST.   So I hope u will watch for the #pootiedoot and be there because we have been busy coming up with awesome slogans and everything.

This is Baxter your roving reporter wishing you the Poopiedootiest of Mondays! :)

PAC-P.U. :)

 



whoa, duk duk, do i look fuzzy 2 u? because i sure feel fuzzy. but at least that is all over, and the tushie man's lady was supercool enough to send us some pictures of my procedures. speaking of which...

 i am thinking maybe we find out where the tushie man got his gas mask and his gas from bc let me tell u, that stuff really knocks u out like u would not believe.  better than monkey chow chili foofies and kitty poop tarts combined.  but unfortunately it does not smell nearly as bad so u know, it would not be nearly as fun.

 








what's that? yeah, i do not know, duk duk. i would tell u more about what happened, but really, i have no idea. except, sheesh, i woke up and there no flaming bunny tattoo...

but the tushie man did give me some super cool dissolving stitches from the cyst he removed.

and mom does not think so, but  i am pretty sure i might be getting a gold pirate tooth from where tushie man took out my loose one. and if not, well, at least if i try hard enough, i bet i can probably whistle all on my own now. i might not like him poking around my u know what, but duk duk, i have to say, i do like my tushie man and the tushie man's lady a LOT.

boy, the tushie man was right, this sleepy stuff does wear off pretty fast. quick duk duk, help me practice my pitiful groggy face before i forget how to make it...  










hee hee, this face already got me a big bowl of chunky chick-- um, chunky water,  and i bet if we play our cards right, it can get us at least eleventy five bags of gummy worms too!! :) :)

little coneflower

well, duk duk, I am sure glad that got cleared up. I guess I was really hungry when the tushie man said it, because I sure thought he said ice cream cone and of course how could u say no to that no matter if u r getting an eye thingy removed or not?...  hey, can u scratch my nose for me?

wow, I see this might be a problem for both of us. good thing this is only our test run so that way we can work out the kinks. how bout maybe we take off the yellow part?

yep U just have 2 look for the snaps cuz remember that time when mom first made it for me and we wore it for easter? that was the year u got us banned from..okay okay, i will get off our bed but I call dibs on my same spot so no stealing it when we are all done or I will pound u...hee hee, yeah I guess u r right I guess I should save the pounding for after my stitches dissolve. okay, is that the last one? 

hmm, full range of head motion but I cannot reach my eyes with my paws. a fit that is not too loose or too snug. yes this is much better than that blue thingy we got when I got frankentushied. now if I can only resist rubbing my head on the floor we will be set!

although if I do, maybe mom would make me a new one with propeller shaped blades instead of marigold petals. :) 

flaming bunnies

yep, that's it, duk duk.  right there on my lower eye rim. 

the tushie man said it has got to go and so I get 2 stay home from school on Tuesday and mom said u can stay home too.

I wonder if the tushie man will use a sword like zorro did when he visited me when I was little.

well, I think zorro used a sword. I kind of was asleep for all of that and do not remember much. which is why I guess he left his mark on me, come to think of it...  

I sure hope the tushie man will let me have a say with my new mark. I'm thinkin flaming bunnies, dontchoo think, duk duk? :)

fun for a dog and a duk

well I'll be...

...i guess u r right, dukduk...

poopie snakes do not slink down the stairs after all.

meet me at the end of the nile

 
sigh. well, duk duk, i guess we better tell chocobot n lulu the tiger n lil pink puppy 2 get ready. today is going 2 be another school day after all. 
 

cloudy with a chance of snow

...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope..nope...nope..nope..nope...
nope...nope... o there i see one! aw nopies just a feather...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope
...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...o maybe!. rats nope just some dryer lint..nope...nope...nope...nope..nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope....nope...nope...
nope...nope....nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope.........

a dog and a duk walk into their school to hand out their homemade valentines...

 

hee hee, it sure was a good idea to make our own valentines this year, dontchoo think, duk duk?








 

i mean, sure it took us a lot of time to  think of what to say,  and then it took us forever to design them on the computer...

and here it is early friday morning and we are still trying to finish them up. but  a) everybuddy's who's anybuddy's bound to agree they're comedy gold, b) this year at school, we can finally give something back to all the mushy cootie contaminated girls at school, and c) we can also remind said girls about what is most important about valentine's day too.  espcially since mom will not let us bring our cootie fallout shelter 2 school. it's a win win win really, dontchoo think, duk duk?












 and,  what with us using all the right pleases and thank yous and all, well, surely we will not get in trouble with teacher for handing them out. if there is anything at all i have learned from watching house of cards, it's that manners are everything when u have something important 2 say.  anyhow, i think this was the last valentiney to cut so..

duk duk, u finish punching all the lacy stuff around the edges...

and i will start coloring all the... oh snap, is that the time i think it is? quick u get everything together and tell chocobot n lulu the tiger n lil pink puppy to be ready in three and i will....moooooooooom!

mom, sorry 2 use my outside voice but may we please have a ride to school today so we can finish our valentineys in the car?  :) :)