#truestories

so, yesterday, me and duk duk decided to make me a motorcycle helmet out of biodegradable packing peanuts because, well, we had a ton of them, and all u do is just stick them together with water and, well,  u know, we thought me wearing a big ol packing peanut helmet would be really funny for today's blog posty. and so, anyway, while we were making it, the post lady arrived and u could tell she was going to bring us a package, so i asked mom 2 take off my helmet real quick and set it aside because u know, i was gonna get all barky and stuff. and, anyhow lo and behold the postlady brought us the zucchini noodle maker we ordered, so well, long story short, while mom and duk duk were busy making cucumber curly ribbons up on the countertop because we did not have any zucchini because none of us thought our package would arrive so quickly, well, my helmet smelled so popcorny delicious, and it was just lying there so...well, i sort of ate it. before we could take pictures. and that was pretty much our yesterday. which brings us 2 today. and u know, this picture of duk duk and me, not wearing my packing peanut helmet :)

on being a boy in a girl filled world - tip #32 by baxter and duk duk :)

Rather than move mountains, sometimes the best thing u can do is quietly walk away from it and hope nobuddy notices and tries 2 follow u.  :)

men at work

hee hee hee - do not worry mom, now that i am helping, me and dad will have our new hostas planted 4 u in a jiffy! :) :) #happymemorialday

friday night lights

..hee hee, first let me say, pato pato, i am so glad u and anka anka could come visit us this weekend! and that's right, since none of us have our blindfolds with us, duk duk and anka anka will go first and we will have 2 guess what they ate. if we both get it right then they have 2 give us each a gummy worm and we get another turn.  if we get it wrong, then we will have to give them each a gummy worm and it is their turn to guess.  the team who gets the first threeve consecutive answers correct before mom tells us to stop wins.  if mom tells us to stop before either team reaches the goal then the game is a draw and we follow secret rendezvous protocol number alpha tango ocho to meet at the new location to start a new game.  if a player runs out of foofie, he can call on his teammate to substitute for him.  if both team members fail to produce a foofie within the agreed upon sixty miss-a-poopie time limit, then the other team gets to decide whether or not the empty team's time limit can be extended, and if so, the other team also gets to decide the means by which they can earn the extension. if the other team decides against time extension, then the empty team must fork over 1.5 gummy worms for each loss on their next turn.  and, if at any time a poopie shows up, the pooping team must collect it, categorize it, seal it carefully, and donate it to our impressive poopie museum. and then game immediately goes into spin and speed overdrive, which needless to say, involves spinning and speeding.  any questions? :)
 

 

baxter and duk duk's teeny tiny tales for puppies: no grabsies, no chompsies, no messy kerplompsies :)

"oooOOooOooOOOooo!", the little dachshund exclaimed when the smell of what his mom was cooking finally settled down to the level of the tippy tip top of his upwardly pointed nose. "corny corn on the cob!!"

Wasting no time, the little dachshund quickly readied himself for what he knew was going to be his special after lunchy lunch surprise. "hee hee corn on the cob - first of the season!" He anxiously but carefully tucked his napkin under his collar and positioned himself by his little orange table. "two steps away, just like mom says i should be."  Nothing was going to delay his little treat if the little dachshund could help it.

The little dachshund waited and waited and waited, for what seemed like at least sixty seconds of forever.  "i must remember my manners, i must remember my manners," the little dachshund reminded himself over and over again.  "no grabsies, no chompsies, no messy kerplompsies." His heart beat faster with each passing second.  "i must remember my manners.  no grabsies, no chompsies, no messy kerplompsies." His ears pricked when he heard the lid placed down on the counter top, but the little dachshund stayed focused. "i must remember my manners. i must remember my manners. no grabsies, no chompsies, no messy kerplompsies."

With each passing moment, the words rang through the little dachshund's head louder and louder.  By the time his corn arrived, the words filled his mind, like a water balloon ready to burst.  "i must remember my manners.  i must remember my manners..."

"no grabsies..."

 

"no chompsies..."

"no messy kerplompsies!!"

Needless to say, the little dachshund's plan did not go exactly has he wanted it to go, but he and his mom and his tummy ended up very happy anyway, because sometimes all the best you can do is try your best, and you get delicious corn anyway. :)

the wheels on the bus go round and round

...almost there...almost there...

(skreeeee thud!)

hee hee, there. I think we are parked now.

okay everybuddy, we are here! please be careful unloading your luggage as items may have shifted during parking. on behalf of Redwolfduck bus transportation services, it has been a pleasure driving you and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day :) 

canned ham

hee hee and that's why u should never let an octopus borrow your pedal car.  hey, mom, do U smell ham? I think smell ham.  I wonder if this place has a ham in the oven. because if they do not, I think I have ham in the oven they can borrow.

(crickets) 

I said, I think I have a ham in the oven they can borrow.

(pfweeeeeeooOooofweeeeeeeooooeep!)

oops, never mind. 

hee hee hee hee hee!!

little cutie face :)

hee hee, okay mom, u can kiss my nose but may I please have a snackie after? :) :)

happy mother's day :)

hee hee, to all the moms in this world
and for all u do,  me and duk duk just want 2 say....

...this lick's 4 u!

 happy mother's day!! love, baxter and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy :)

i spy

A certain tiny bunny has made it its habit to munch on the grass in the yard across the street most evenings, which of course means a certain tiny dachshund has made it his habit to watch said rabbit, hoping and wishing and longing that he could nab it. :) #HappyFridayFriends

this is a test post but u may as well look at it bc the pictures are funny :)

hello my friends, it's me, baxter. i am just trying to figure out if Facebook is constipated or something else changed, so me and duk duk thought we might share some funny that might have been missed from our etsy listings.   

and just in case you were wondering, mom is planning to make more tiny pooper poop bag dispener and snackie holders and walking weenier wiener walker compact cross body purses once we get through a few outdoor projects currently under way. so stay tuned my friends! :)

chalking :)

What happens when only half of a pair of  eight year old buddies has an iPhoney...

moooom, I think I'm gonna need more chalk! 

there will be #poopiedoot :)

 
Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to u today on some very special additions and surprises coming tonight at nine o'clock PM EST to my mom's Kalyxcraftopia Etsy shop.  Now, everybuddy knows the first rule of makey design and product development is to start with what u know and love, and figure out how u can add your own unique voice to it.  Like, u know, how a dog bowl is a dog bowl but some just seem way awesomer than others because they speak to u in some way?
 
 




So, when mom asked me and duk duk earlier this year if we could help her develop a new product for our shop, we started with this simple rule.  And, well, you know how me and duk duk know poop and snackies, and we know how everybuddy seems to like collecting poop and eating snackies?  We decided to design this for mom to make - (dunt da dahhhhh!) - say hello to our super cool, super new, super funny and super cute Tiny Pooper poop bag dispenser and secret snackie holders!!

Me and duk duk will be busy working on the etsy listings all day today not only for our first litter of Tiny Poopers, but also - for our friends who like to carry more than just poopie bags and snackies on their walkie, like, say maybe also an iphoney and keys and stuff, - we sized up our design and developed our new Walking Weenie Wiener Walker compact crossbody purse, which we will also debut tonight at nine o'clock PM EST.   So I hope u will watch for the #pootiedoot and be there because we have been busy coming up with awesome slogans and everything.

This is Baxter your roving reporter wishing you the Poopiedootiest of Mondays! :)

we borrowed a napkin

Tiny chumley's eye seems to be healing up pretty nicely, despite the night he decided to do a little head rub on the floor that seemed to loosen his already dissolving stitches.  Soon, I think, we can stop treating him like a precious little egg, but I am pretty sure he's thought all along that the only egg that should be in the room is the one that he should be eating. :)

ummm, well mom, just getting ready to play pirates and poopers with duk duk and chocobot.  and, well, i lost the coin toss and we could not find my eye patch so, u know, we borrowed a napkin. :)

and the answer is...

hee hee, and the answer to yesterday's guess me if u can is... the tiny one!  :) :)

guess me if u can

hmmmmm, decisions decisions..... 

blow hole

o nothing mom. just pretending 2 b a whale. :)

twinkle twinkle tiny toes

twinkle twinkle tiny toes,
how I wonder where you go,
up and down such little feet,
walking on some dreamy street,
twinkle twinkle tiny toes,
how I wonder where you go. :)

PAC-P.U. :)

 



whoa, duk duk, do i look fuzzy 2 u? because i sure feel fuzzy. but at least that is all over, and the tushie man's lady was supercool enough to send us some pictures of my procedures. speaking of which...

 i am thinking maybe we find out where the tushie man got his gas mask and his gas from bc let me tell u, that stuff really knocks u out like u would not believe.  better than monkey chow chili foofies and kitty poop tarts combined.  but unfortunately it does not smell nearly as bad so u know, it would not be nearly as fun.

 








what's that? yeah, i do not know, duk duk. i would tell u more about what happened, but really, i have no idea. except, sheesh, i woke up and there no flaming bunny tattoo...

but the tushie man did give me some super cool dissolving stitches from the cyst he removed.

and mom does not think so, but  i am pretty sure i might be getting a gold pirate tooth from where tushie man took out my loose one. and if not, well, at least if i try hard enough, i bet i can probably whistle all on my own now. i might not like him poking around my u know what, but duk duk, i have to say, i do like my tushie man and the tushie man's lady a LOT.

boy, the tushie man was right, this sleepy stuff does wear off pretty fast. quick duk duk, help me practice my pitiful groggy face before i forget how to make it...  










hee hee, this face already got me a big bowl of chunky chick-- um, chunky water,  and i bet if we play our cards right, it can get us at least eleventy five bags of gummy worms too!! :) :)

little coneflower

well, duk duk, I am sure glad that got cleared up. I guess I was really hungry when the tushie man said it, because I sure thought he said ice cream cone and of course how could u say no to that no matter if u r getting an eye thingy removed or not?...  hey, can u scratch my nose for me?

wow, I see this might be a problem for both of us. good thing this is only our test run so that way we can work out the kinks. how bout maybe we take off the yellow part?

yep U just have 2 look for the snaps cuz remember that time when mom first made it for me and we wore it for easter? that was the year u got us banned from..okay okay, i will get off our bed but I call dibs on my same spot so no stealing it when we are all done or I will pound u...hee hee, yeah I guess u r right I guess I should save the pounding for after my stitches dissolve. okay, is that the last one? 

hmm, full range of head motion but I cannot reach my eyes with my paws. a fit that is not too loose or too snug. yes this is much better than that blue thingy we got when I got frankentushied. now if I can only resist rubbing my head on the floor we will be set!

although if I do, maybe mom would make me a new one with propeller shaped blades instead of marigold petals. :)