springing it :)

well, how bout instead of u spending every day outside gardening and being too sore after 2 make anything, me and duk duk rent a mega back hoe and we can finish all the yard work for you? our genius ideas are not gonna make themselves, u know.  and,  we really want to have a spring tooty doot  doot! plus, hee hee, well, mega back hoe. we could make a bunny trap the likes of which shai pooplud has never seen! :) 

said the little dachshund

“i may be a ferocious wolf, mom,” said the little dachshund, “but i can too eat like a baby bird. here, let me show u!” :) 

pooptrichor

well, okay. u do have a point, mom.  and i guess a ferocious wolf does sometimes have to suffer for his art, so…

let’s get this show on the road. poop mushies just don’t make themselves, u know. and they are going 2 smell fantastic :) 

daylight savings time :)

well, technically, my tummy works on an 18 hour wolf-day clock, and with factoring in daylight savings time now, that means i need to eat four hours earlier and eleventy point seis times as often. but we can round it to five times an earth-day just to make it ezpz. :) 

best of both worlds :)

well, how about we have a snackie now, and we have a snackie later? :) 

pip squeak :)

hee hee hee okay, this will be ezpz! ladeez and gentlewolves, we interrupt our morning foofielympics foofietacular for this very special snackie! 

pooppeepoo, pooppeepoo…(blink) (blink) ….
hmmmm…(blink blink)…um, uh oh, barbarians at the back door…



mom, um, how long did u say i have to hold it for before i can eat it? and, technically, if i happen 2 pass out while holding it does it still count so when i wake back up, can i just go ahead and eat it? o, and u might want to open the windows, like, um, riiiight now… :) 

jammies optional

well, i was stinking i mean thinking instead of me and duk duk going 2 school today, we could all just stay home and watch tv. jammies optional. :) 

keep on the sunny side :)

sheesh! cassie, again?? what did i say about standing over there? i know it is snackie time but mom clearly marked a space for u over there and mine is here. standing over there is a proven anti cootie protocol, backed by years of wolfie wisdom and just plain common - 

ugh, fine. but if u r going 2 stand here make sure i stay in your shadow. a wolfie needs to protect his corneas to maintain his ferocious night vision. 

the day the poop stood still

hee hee, yeah well, i guess that’s that. so how bout we go inside and finally have our lunchy lu- 

hey! hey! what the heck??? 

kaaaaaaack! kaaaaaack! eeeeeew! cassie! 

this is why we have strict stand over there policies. seriously. two years of being super duper careful and now this??  kaaack! kaaack! o the unstinkable poopwolfity! kaaack! 

blind. i think i am going blind. and my skin is crawling with cooties!  somebuddy, please call poop eleventy eleventy stat and have them ready the poopta tank. 

ss hot death biscuit :)

hey! cassie! it’s lunchy lunch time and for some hosty reason mom says i cannot eat my lunchy lunch unless u r there, too,  so get your fluffy butt in gear and get a move on already. 

cassie! i said lunchy lunch is ready and this wolf is getting hangry! hurry up and -  what?? omg boy ur head better not be stuck!  okay, i guess it’s not. now hurry up and let’s get going. cassie! cassie, u r even listening? 

sheesh this is ridiculous! what’s more interesting than lunchy lunch? make room, make room, let a wolfie thru!  

(sniff sniff) (sniff sniff) 

hmmm, why does it smell like hot death biscuits over here? 

surely it cannot be the museum. it’s been closed for weeks. but what could be so…

whooooa! omg u did that, cassie?? massive ploppage. 

 

kaaaack! kaaaaack! hee hee hee,  somebuddy call the rescue recovery team, we’ve got a serious snake overboard situation here on the poop deck! :)

yeah u know who

what??? seriously, mom, valentine’s day is like, already way over. me and duk duk barely escaped serious cootietamination then, and now u want to her to visit? inside our house?? can’t she just leave the hearty heart candy at the doorstep and zoom like a normal person? 

ps the answer is always yeppies :)

Right on cue, tiny chumley wandered over to see what all the fuss was about. 

mom? dontchoo think it is time we went inside? there are no bunnies to chase, and without my down jacket, why, a wolf  is practically nakey, and it is quite cold ou-

hang on, what do we have here??? mom, have u and dad been digging without me??

tiny chumley sniffed deeply into freshly turned soil, happily snorting and chorting like a noisy little pig about to uncover some delicious truffles. 

hee hee, okay, mom, first, i forgive u, and, second, how about help u finish this and maybe we can all have boba after? and ps, the answer is always yeppies. :)  

thick day :)

hthee? i tholdjoo. hmy thung feelth htho thick hwith vahlenthine hkooties i hkan hardlee het hit hout hof hmy hmouth.  htho hthat his why hme and thuk thuk hneed 2 thtay home hfrom thkool 2day.  :) 

happy smellentines day :)

what? u mean these valentines we made for school? well, they are on the floor because that way nobuddy will want to eat them besides me and duk duk, really. now can we please go, mom, and get this day over with? it is bad enough u r making us go without our super hyper atmos filtration cootie contamination suits - when me and duk duk come back from school we are going to have to spend, like, every night for the next eleventy zillion days in the poopta tank. and with spring almost around the corner, me and duk duk have tons of work to do setting up the new wing of our poopie museum. which we would not have had to do had u and dad not decided we had to move it so u could plant more plants. the sunlight was half the reason we chose the spot in the first place. nothing smells better than the hot rays of - what? what’s on our valentines?? um..

nothing, mom…

hee hee, well, okay. nothing u would not already expect from us.  now may we please go? this funny will not last forever and we need to give them out before the principal comes to school. :) 

boy in the green bubble :)

hee hee, o, mom, that reminds me, the man in brown is supposed to be delivering the bubble hatch today for me and duk duk’s anti cootie valentine’s day quarantine cave. so, u know, do u mind bringing it here? :) 

the gassiest of gas giants :)

well, what with cootietines day coming up, i was stinking i mean thinking maybe we could just put our house on the market and move to jupiter.  or,  TrES-4, ideally. although probably in like, a year or two after moving there, me and duk duk are pretty sure we could help jupiter take the title of the gassiest of gas giants from TrES-4, and jupiter is way closer to earth anyway. so, there’s that. what do u say, mom, can i put the for sale sign back outside now? 

sunday sun day :)

maybe later i will get to all the things i should be doing, the little dachshund thought to himself. but right now, i think i will take a nap. :)

hear no stealthy, smell no stealthy :)

hee hee, um, well, u see, mom, to stay as stealthy and as nimble as possible, a real wolf must remain nakey. ipso facto no more tagso. i really think this nakey look suits me, dontchoo think? this way, i can sneak up would be robbers, or hamburgulars, or duk duk, or anyone really. it is practically foolproof, really. seriously i am so stealthy now that .. wait, what? clicking? my nails? but that’s only on the kitchen fl-  smelling? me?? from a mile away?? hee hee well u might have a point there but seriously i do not see how that means … no, mom, i may be nakey but…

mom, this does not mean i need a bath or pawdicure. wolves are stealthy and they never get either. mom? mom!! 

technology of tomorrow :)

mom, i appreciate u and dad taking me up and down the stairs and all but, can’t we just finally buy me a jet pack? or a hover craft?  :) 

hot buns :)

hee hee, well, this way, mom, george warms my tushie and spreads my foofies just like your fancy air diffuser. so really he is two, two products in one :)