the little lady, part one

 















 



no duk duk, you're gonna break the door!! move it! i can do it, i promise.

"works, burners get warm" see i told you i could read it without my glasses.

hee hee, and mega WOOTY! duk duk u r so right. this would be perfect! we could make hot monkey chow cider, chunky chicken water,  poopcorn, baked gummy worm alaska, monkey chow krispie treats, monkey chow pancakes, monkey chow fried rice, monkey chow chowder, monkey chow chili, monkey chow chicken chower, monkey chow lasagna, monkey chow kiev, cream of monkey chow and who knows what else. without even leaving the cozy comfort of our heat cave.

hey, before the saleslady back, let's plug it in and see how hot it gets!

hmmmm, okay is this the cord we want? or is it this thingy by the exhausty pipe with the metal whatchamajiggy and the two prong pokey things?  hmmmmmmm....

(to be continued..)

chunky chicken water with the kitchen kielbasa

Hello friends, it's us, baxter and duk duk! I'm wearing a napkin today because I want to share with you an  easy peasy recipe we just created.  We call it Chunky Chicken Water.  And we call it ez-pz because all u need to ask your mom to thoroughly boil in plain water a boneless skinless chicken breast, the cooking water your mom cooked the chicken in (skimmed of any fat), and some raw carrots.   Then, when you are ready for a delicious and lovely special snackie treat, just pull these ingredients out of the fridge and follow these three easy steps to tummy nirvana...


1) Put some of chicken water in a very cute bowl.  No reheating is necessary but if u do, make sure it is not too hot, know what I mean?

2) Sprinkle in some raw carrots for color, texture, and tastiness.

3) Add as much shredded chicken meat as your mom will allow and there you have it, delicious chunky chicken water!

There are probably a million more things u could add to this, like cooked rice or you know, blueberries or stuff.  Just always be sure to check and make sure what u are using is going to be good for you,  and most of all, remember to hold on to that tasty cooked chicken water.  I know, so easy, right?  Oh, so how does Chunky Chicken Water taste? Well, see for yourself in this video we made too!





Hee hee okay, this is me, Baxter your roving rover reporter and friend, and duk duk, wishing you the happiest of Fridays and the weekend! :)

winter is coming

hee hee hee, hooray - phase two of our heat cave project is now finished, duk duk! i am sure glad mom figured out how to make everything from our drawings.  especially this supercool awning, right?  no medieval tent is really complete without one. the starks had them. and i sure bet the lannisters did too. 

only i bet theirs did not retract!

last one in's a rotten poopie snake! well, a more rotten one anyway.

(shuffle shuffle) (shuffle shuffle) hey hey, pheeeeeeeew! duk duk, didjoo just..oh nevermind i just did one too so we are even.

okay,  maybe at in phase three we ask mom for a pull cord so we can pull george over whenever we wanty want. :)

i voted :)

Even though a pup can't really execute his civic duties on Election Day, at least he can pretend he did.

hee hee, mom, do u think if i wear this sticker it will still get me the voting discount at the candy store? :) :)

civic pooty

because, you know, it's your civic pooty. :) 

some behind the scenes stuff and a doot doot dooty doot for know, a supercool print poster and my 2015 desk calendar

When a happy go lucky dachshund stands at the cusp of turning eight years old,  I like to think that his tastes begin to evolve. Boy adventurer detectives and blue boxed time travelers, though still very much close to his heart,  now give way to more complex characters who more often than not, ask questions and delve into topics that an eight year old imaginative dachshund has yet to fully comprehend. And so it seemed only natural that Baxter and his toyfriend duk duk, who by now would have exhausted all the G, PG, and PG13 offerings on Netflix,  would have refined their tastes and discover indie geek classics like the movie Donnie Darko.  And, even though some of the darker aspects of the movie would go over their heads, a movie as engaging and unsettling as Donnie Darko would still be something tiny chumley and duk duk would pick to serve as the awesome inspiration for this year's halloween trick-or-treatery.







I'd like to say it was purely Baxter and duk duk's inner geekiness that motivated their Halloween attire, but truth be told, the makey challenges also piqued my interests greatly.  I mean, it's not like there are many swell instructions out there for this for humans, much less for dachshunds, or for one winged duks.  The challenge would not only be in replicating the Frank the Bunny and Donnie Darko look, but also in adapting it for the actual head and body shapes and imaginative perspectives of an odd but perfectly matched pair of friends.

Today, finally, after months of off and on makey, a peek into the work that went into their costumes, and a link to Baxter's new super cool poster featuring it, that asks what we should all probably ask ourselves at one time or another, why are you wearing that silly human suit?

Happy Monday, friends! :)

PS if you missed the doot doot dooty doot yesterday, here is a link for our super cool and always budgety 2015 desk calendar too! https://www.etsy.com/listing/209493886/dachshund-desk-calendar-2015-tiny?

 

  

happy hallo-scary-ween :)

hee hee, thanks, chocobot, for taking care of yours and lulu the tiger's and lil pink puppy's halloween costumes. me and duk duk were so busy making ours, we did not have any time at all to work on stuff for the three of you. the toyfriend club scar on your cheek is a nice touch, by the way. 























and, it was pure genius to put lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy in one costume.  now we have room for even more candy in our wagon!

okay, duk duk since u are already dressed, u wait here with chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy while i get into my #topsecretSCARY costume, okay?

(zip snap shuffle shuffle zip snap swoosh zip)

you know, duk duk, i really like how everything turned out, but i sure wish mom would have let us make the teeth sharper and more scary spaced. i mean, how scary could that be, right? we have been scaring our friends all week with the pictures we posted on instagram and facebook and twitter.

(snap snap shimmy snap zip snap)

but, at least if nobuddy recognizes who we really are, then they can at least they think they know who we are, even though they would be really wrong.  

(bump clatter clatter)

whoops. uh oh, was that my mask?













..boy it better be okay. without my mask, i'm just a long dog in a nicely fitted, super plushie hoodied onesie with white fur on my...

 

...chest.

 whoa - did u guys just hear that?? i think i heard cassie.

no, false alarm. it was just the wind blowing a bunch of leaves.

okay, let me just get my mask on, and we finally can start trick or treating!! 

oh not again. yes mom?

 

pictures? again?? but mom, me and duk duk already posed for our halloween card, and our super cool wall poster, and even for next year's calendar. and we promised that we would try to put them in the shop for you by this Monday and send out a doot doot dooty doot and everything.  well for the poster and the calendars anyway because we sold out of the cards for now. so our friends can see us in our full glory there,  and besides they will see us live any minute now when we knock on their door for tricks and treats. 

so, like, do we have to?





















okay, make a hole everybuddy. we need to make this quick so everybuddy keep their eyes open, mouths closed, and save the funny faces for after we bring back our candy haul.

phew, the inside of this mask smells like desperation and rancid gummy worms! duk duk - did you do this?? 

hee hee, why thank you my friend. it most certainly will help me get into character.  which i am guessing hardly anybuddy will guess even with u standing next to me and u are like the main character. oh, okay mom's ready, so on the count of three everybuddy..one..two..three...

trick or treeeeat! :)

(hee hee, ps if  did not get one because we sold out, here is a peek at our halloween card.  and do not worry if u missed out, it will be back in the shop again :) )

#dangerSCARY

dear diary,
there is only one thing scarier for me to show you this wednesday before halloween and since me and duk duk's costumes are still #topsecretSCARY,  today i am showing you the kind of scary i like to call #dangerSCARY, because any second now, my neighbor puppy friend cassie could come up and lick you, or jump on you, or roll you, or slobber all over you. and you would most definitely get covered in cooties.  these are all of the kinds of dangerous and scary things that could happen to you, when you enter ...the Cassie Zone. 

doo-bee-doo-doo, doo-bee-doo-doo,
b. :)

personal sheeshus

Sometimes all a little boy can do when things don't go his way is cope, as only a little boy can. :)

objects in shadow are sized exactly as they appear :)

see mom, i told u I was more that three apples tall. :) 

etsy fresh: may your days be merry and boopable

Pssst - there are only ten weekends before Christmas.  Yeah, I know, really.  I just counted, and that doesn't seem very long at all, does it?  So it makes sense, I think, to let you in on another secret today.  Not a super top secret like tiny chumley's Halloween costume, and not really the kind of secret that you need to keep to yourself, so much as it is the kind of secret that you did not know.  Until now.  And you can tell anyone you want who might need the kind of holiday help only tiny chumley and his super cute paper goodies can provide.  Because they should know that in addition to all the super cool Christmas cards tiny chimley has in the Etsy shop, there is a new one that he just helped me add.  And not only does our new card have a super cute picture of you know who on the outside and on the inside, but it is also very very boopable.  So if you or someone you know would like to send a little boop this holiday season, be sure to clicky clicky here to see the full view of his latest Christmas card,  or clicky here for a look at all the tiny chumley holiday cards available this season. 

And stay tuned, because in addition to desk calendars which should make it to the shop next week, in the coming weeks tiny chumley and I will be finishing up this year's new doxie Christmas ornaments, as well as litters of tiny treasure boxes and etched and enameled necklaces, and a few other handmade surprises. Everything you'll need to make this Christmas a doxie wonderland of delights! :)

https://www.etsy.com/shop/kalyxcraftopia

heat cave for two :)

There are a few things yet to be completed on the heat cave I started to make for tiny chumley late last week, but try and tell that to a shivery little boy and his duk, on an ever so slightly chilly morning in autumn.  :) 

hee hee mom, we know it is not done yet but our new heat cave is still so very comfy and can you please turn george up to 80?  low breeze please. oh, and a hot cup of monkey chow cider would be nice too :)

etsy fresh: you are invited to our Top Secret Halloween Club :)

Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you today about a very important invitation me and duk duk would like to make to you, to join our Top Secret Halloween Club.  Do you remember seeing some top secret things about our Halloween costumes every once in a while say on our Instagram or our Facebook or on Twitter or maybe even here?  Were you like, hey, when are we ever going to see the results ? Well, ever since our mom finished our Halloween costumes a few days ago, we have been really wanting to show you as much as you have wanted to see them. We even dressed up in our costumes and made Halloween cards that turned out super cool. But then we were like, hey,  Halloween isn't til Halloween and top secret is top secret, right?   But, if some of our friends like you really want to see our costumes early,  or say you need a really super cool Halloween card that will totally be like nothing you have ever seen before,  well, how can it happen and not spoil the surprise for everybuddy else?

Well my friends, that's how me and duk duk decided to form the Top Secret Halloween Club.  If you and your friend can keep a secret and want to send or get our super cool - but kind of SCARY!! - Halloween card now,  you can do so by clicking here, to get the card from my mom's kalyxcraftopia etsy shop.  Oh yeah, did I mention it was kind of scary?    

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter hoping you will join us in super cool halloweeny weenie top secrecy! :)

PS - this is not the actual card although the actual card is sort of on there but like, so pixelated and covered up that u know, it may as well not be the card. :) #topsecretSCARY

https://www.etsy.com/listing/207763820/baxter-duk-duks-top-secret-halloween?ref=shop_home_active_1

PPS (10/22/2014) Wow me and duk duk sold out! Please be patient my friends as we will be ordering more the next time mom places a print order so stay tuned! :)

bedtime moments

hmmmmmm..hmmmm...hee hee, well, dad, I bet everyone will be like..

eeeeEeeeeEEEEEEeeeEEEEeeek! 

yep, pretty sure that's how scary me and duk duk's halloween costumes are this year. :) #topsecretSCARY 

a simple request

mom, the next time you go out of town without me, please take me with you, okay? :)

yummy yummy :)

hee hee, what is the best thing I liked about staying in a hotel while I was at the beach? why, the yummy banana room service, of course! :) 

the beach is very windy

dear diary, 

unfortunately me and duk duk really really need to work on our essay before it gets any larger so I will make today's report about my visit to the beach short  and show u a supercool picture and some more videos of me at  the beach. I hope u enjoy them very much and I hope u have a very cool weekend. 

toodleydoo!

b :)

girls stand over there no matter where they are

Hello it's me, Baxter your roving reporter reporting to you again today from the beach, which I visited for the very first time with my mom and dad this past weekend. Today I am wearing my annoyed face, because nobuddy told me I was coming and nobuddy for sure told me that there would be dogs on the beach. Girl dogs in particular, that neither mind their own business or know where to stand. 

Here is the girl that came long after we set up on the beach. 

She kept getting me in trouble because she had one of those extendo leashes and I had to keep keep telling her where to stand.  But at least she was on a leash like she was supposed to be which is more than I can say for that big dog that nearly caused me to poop the entire contents of my esophagus, stomach, small and large intestine, alimentary canal, and colon too.  That big dog tried to run up to me and dad picked me up before I could send out the poop signal. Pretty sure he was brewing friendly but, well u just never know so better evacupooped than sorry. 

Anyhoo, going to the beach is very informative because it also reaffirmed my belief that in a world of Caladan fishes and dune sand worms, I would definitely be a sandworm. A sand worm knows better than to let the ocean touch your body  and that pretty much summed up my interest in those giant waves that could wash me and wash me away. I will take a paw wash any day over trying to wade in that big ocean and get lost, thank you. 

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you a very happy Wednesday! :)

meet me at the planetary intersection of Caladan and Dune

Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, interrupting me and duk duk's super cool poobery award winning monster short story series with a very special report this week on my trip this past weekend to the beach. Which I did not even know I was taking until I got out of mom and dad's car and I'm like, water and sand everywhere - did the space guild accidentally fold Caladan and Dune together?? 

Anyhow, this was my first visit to the beach and I will do my best to report to you all the highlights of my trip on my next two posts because today is Monday and not only do me and duk duk have a ninety page essay to write in the next ten minutes, but we also have to pack our lunchy lunches and figure out how to pull a hefty bag full of wet sand and seaweed to school, which will be especially hard since our pedal car does not have a hitch.  This is Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you a very happy sandweenie Monday!! :)

today is stomping day, another nother short story by baxter and duk duk, in lieu of the ninety page essay on the pros and cons of a spiced based universe economy, that we were supposed to write for writing class

The monster feet had been in stinky situations before.  Children may smell like children, but their feet stink too, and especially in slipper shoes like him because they never seemed to want to wear socks and their feet get all sweaty and the only thing left to absorb all the sweat is, well, him.  He used to think their feet smelled awful, only now as he sat on the thrift store shelf, surrounded by scuffed patent mary janes and tired old sneakers that no longer lit up when you stomped with them, he missed smelling like what he now felt monster feet should always smell like.

Forever seemed to pass at the thrift store as he watched moms and dads take pair after pair of more practical shoes home for their stinky feet children, while he remained, alone and wondering if he would ever get to stomp again.  Tired being passed over time and time again, the monster feet decided to go into a deep deep sleep.

A curious and very sniffy wet nose startled him awake.  What the heck??? This is not the thrift store, he realized as the rest of his senses came into consciousness.  Why is there a tiny red cabin in front of me and what's that smell? It smells worse than children feet - more like, meat mixed with duk mixed with poop mixed with - hey, that tickles!

The brushing sensation of curious but very appreciative whiskers gave way to two stubby and chubby but extremely awesomely ferocious paws, each slipping in to him with a stink, awe, and reverence he had never felt before. Hmm, the monster feet thought. I am not in a house with stinky children feet and yet I no longer miss them.












One of his feet was lifted high into the air as the faint sound of snickers danced about his ears.  Wheeeee!! Today is a new day, he proclaimed as he started to fall and the wind started whooshing around him.  Today is stomping day! :)