turnout 2018

hee hee, yeah, hey thanks for voting, mister, come back next year....thanks for voting, other mister, hope it was swirly...o yeah, i see u earned a sticker, too. thanks for voting..hey lady, come back next year. o and miss, thanks for voting...what’s that? this? no, this is for next year’s election. u see..

wolves are so ferocious, they have to vote early so as to not scare off or influence any other voters. and falcons, well, they can early vote, too, but like i was telling duk duk - sometimes the danger in mixing falcons and wolves is that their, um, votes can be so sm-

wait, what’s that? o sorry, i did not mean to keep u - thanks for voting and do come back next year. in fact, come sooner because we can always use more votes, no matter what shape they are. yeah, okay bye bye.

hey thanks for voting, hope it was delightful. yeah thanks lady and mister smell u later...

mom, i do not see any gas masks. r u sure everyone gets a voting sticker for being a good boy or girl and pooping outside today?

paydirt

(sniff sniff) (sniff sniff) (sniff sniff sniff)

(snooooooooooooooooooooort) hee hee oo yes, perfect!!

hey, duk duk, go tell chocobot to bring his chocobutt over here cuz i think this wolf just found the perfect uknowwhere for our uknowwhat. :)

buzzkill

four fingers? no ocho. no wait, are those even fingers? they look kind of fun house swirly but...okay, mom, ima gonna say u r holding up three curly fries and one two three..and four thumbs. now can i have more halloween candy bc i have only had eleventy pieces for breakfast and it is not every day me and duk duk get to stay home from school. :)

happy cootieween

hmm. oo yeah, it looks really good, but i think it goes on the other side.

yeppies, like that! boy, considering we to make our halloween costumes ourselves this year and considering we only had an like an hour to make them all, i think we did pretty good this year, dontchoo, duk duk? i mean, i know we spent most of the time on my costume but u have to admit, it is pretty genius really. like, it is pretty much the scariest thing ever, really, right?

okay, now help me with my chin strap...eeeks! not too tight, a wolf’s gotta eat some gummy worms on the road, u know. okay yeah, that’s better.

yeah, i know they are kind of puffy even for her. maybe we can make flaps for when we do our calendar pictures. but for tonight these will totally work bc the puffy balls just add to the goofy, right? and really, i am already feeling like its eleventy hundred degrees out. but when all the folks get a load of me they’ll be like, omg just take all of my candy already! it will be totally worth it!

okay everybuddy, before we get this show on the road, just remember, it is still me under here. now lemme get into character....(hwuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!)

PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT!! PANT PANT PANT PANT!! :)

hee hee, (PANT PANT) happy (PANT PANT PANT) halloween my (PANT PANT) friends!! :)

remember remember the first of november :)

 

hee hee, yeppies, mom, that’s it. that's our tagline.  me and duk duk really think it’s a winner. i mean, seriously. creatively i think it is our best work by far, and that is saying a lot considering our shop has been open for, what, ocho years or so now? trust us.  we didn't just binge mad men for all the kissy kissy u know.  

and besides, here, see? we already made up all the artwork and there it is for all the world to see, "now even more ferocious". all u have to do is post it and tell everybuddy that the magic starts dropping into our kalyxcraftopia etsy shop the day after halloween. u know, november first, when me and duk duk continue the tradition and update the shop with our supercool new 2019 desk calendars...

...and when we will expand our christmas card collection to include our latest masterpiece, Joy to the World, which we think is pretty neato because me and duk duk decided to recreate the mistletoe card  photo shoot from when i was almost five years old, only now i am almost twelve years old, and how cool is that?

so, yeppies, we even made artwork for our new wintery wolfy hello friend postcard that we would show u now if somedukkie didn't spit gummy worm juice all over our keyboard when we were watching funny you tubey videos.  but i guess that way it can be a supercool surprise everybuddy can look for in the shop, as will be the wallet sized, take it with u always everywhere little gifty surprise we will be including with all our holiday orders this year. 


 






so, um, anyhoo, yeppies.  i think u have everything u need for now, so maybe if u do not mind paying in gummy fish this time that would be swell because me and duk duk want to go to the creek after school today and hunt for gummy bears. :)

powdered sugar yeah

hee hee hee - today must be our lucky day because looky, duk duk, mom forgot to put away this year’s halloween handout candy! and u know what they say - finders poo-

-pers. aw come on, not smarties again!! we may as well be handing out, like, air, or boiled potatoes, or, i dunno....what’s the word for whatever that something is that makes you think, ooo looky! but then for no good reason at all, it totally underwhelms? what’s that, duk duk? yeah, like my school perform- hey, that’s not fair. at least i am not a product of deceptive advertising. this wolf does not promise to deliver anything to anyone other than the wolfiness in which i excel. candies, by definition, should be a delicious sweet treat, flavored with possible fruity or chocolatey overtones. these so called “candies” do not deliver on any of these critical traits.

hee hee, yeah, i agree, duk duk. ashes to ashes, dust 2 dust. and a lot of fun in the process. lemme ask her..

hey mom, um, for no particular reason, may we please borrow your hammer and googles?

poppin

mom, do u think maybe when dad comes back with our boba tea, well, do u think maybe he and i could switch seats and he would let me pop the clutch and pop a wheelie? i mean, i am pretty sure i can do it with dad’s car because i watched a you tube video, but duk duk says i have to prove it. :)

room 101

take my blood? r u serious, doctor mister tushie man?? i mean, i feel fine really. okay, okay, look, i admit i lick my tushie because i just like to. is that what u want me to say? because i just did. and, the last time cassie visited, i may have actually eaten a snackie crumb that may or may not have actually fallen out of her mouth. there, i said it. and not even duk duk knows that. and well, besides...i am not the wolf you seek.

hey, hey, i said, i am not the wolf you seek. aw come on, doesn’t anybuddy speak jedi around here?

look, doctor mister tushie man, duk duk is just right outside and i know if i could have just a moment to talk to him, i am sure we can arrange something that would not only sate your vampric needs, but also provide for years of interesting research. because well, duk duk’s blood, well it posesses a very unique regenerative property that enables super strength, rapid healing, and enhanced broadway / live theater abilities, including but not limited to singing, tap, and acting, qualities most of which i am certain a fine man like yourself could use to enhance -

o wait, what’s that? we are done already? that was quick...and painless. um, doctor mister tushie man, u know all that stuff i just said and all? well, u know i was just pretending, right? and, well, what happens in room 101 stays in room 101 am i right or am i right? o and hey - where’s my snackie? :)

statistically significant

dear diary,
after finally collecting several years worth of data, i am fairly certain that the tushie man does not know how to read. and that is all i really want to say about that now. bc despite making yet another and very clearly worded sign, u can pretty much guess what happened👉😱z

anyhoo, i hope u have a wonderful weekend.

toodleydoo!
b :)

after school delight

eeeeeEEEEEeeeeEeeeeek! hey, that’s MY bowl!! no touchy, no touchy, cassie! SHEESH. can’t a wolf even have a little time to decompress after he gets home from a long day of not listening in school? ay yi yi. now i gotta waste a whole month’s worth of gummy worms just to send my bowl thru the hydrosonic decootaminator like a zilloon times. arrrrrrgh. seriously cassie if u would just learn - ugh, u are not even listening! moooom?

mom, i cannot believe i am asking this, but...if this cassie coming over thing is going 2 keep being a habit, are there any after school programs that u can at least temproarily enroll me and duk duk into? i mean, like, even for math or reading or something??

rear view mirror

hee hee, let’s hurry, mom. i just laid a foofie trap :)

little protector

hee hee, do not worry, mom. i can protect u wherever u go, just by standing with u here between your legs, like this. :)

pack wolf :)

see, dad? it is ezPz really. but i should stop talking now so i do not drop them. :)

chasing rainbows

hee hee, hurry, dad! chocobot says at the end of every double rainbow lives a dragon that foofies gumdrops and poops gummy worms!! :)

fifty shades of wolfiness

What happens when a certain little wolf decides on his own to turn his first day of calendar photo shoots into a free for all comedy hour? Pretty much this really. :) #comedygold

pee-atsu

hee hee, okay i will b right there, mom. just as soon as dad finishes massaging my ferocious shoulders. :)

hook, line, and stinker :)

um, well, i guess u could say me and duk duk are still here at home and not in school because, well...because today is a school holiday. for, um, just wolves and falcons. and we forgot 2 tell u because...well, because it is a really new school policy that they only decided yesterday. u know, just to give the kids a break from all that ferociousness. and...as for our spiderman ps4 game and gummy worm super mega pantry order that was just delivered, it is just a coincidence, really. because me and duk duk were just getting ready to ask u if we could help u with chores today. u know, because we are home and all. well, i mean we can start helping just after duk duk comes back from wherever he went which i am sure has nothing to do with anything really. so, um, yeppies, that is pretty much it. can i get u some monkey chow tea or anything? :)

banana shark :)

“o yes, mother,” the little wolf promised, “as a bona fide ferocious wolf, i promise not to chomp your delicious banana when u r not looking. wolf’s honor and everything! please, feel free to read your book.”

no sooner than his mother start reading did the little wolf giggle as he drew air through his gills and opened his mouth wide to reveal not one nor two but three rows of razor sharp teeth. besides, he thought gleefully to himself as took a giant chomp, everybuddy knows that sharks like bananas.

eau de taun taun

(sniff sniff)...(sniff sniff sniff sniff).......(sniff)...(sniff sniff)...

hee hee hee. yeppies, duk duk, pretty sure things definitely smell worse here on the inside. :)

cooties from heaven

Nobody really goes about their day thinking about the space above their head.  I mean, yeah, it's there.  And if a noisy bird flies by or say a rainbow appears, yeah, I look up.  But usually, my days are all about looking at eye level or below.  Actually, with tiny chumley in the house, it's pretty much always below, unless I am walking somewhere, or talking or looking at big boyfriend.  But my point us, the minutiae of life doesn't require us to be constantly attentive to that space up there.
Except maybe for tiny chumley, who often looks up in hopes that it would rain snackies from heaven. Subtract food from the equation, however, and he's like the rest of us, happily doing whatever he's doing at tiny chumley level, until something happens that makes him ever so aware that something awful just happened, in that space way up there. :)