um, this close :)

hey! stand still, u wascally wabbit! 

me and my ferocious fangs would like 2 say smello! 

obstacle course

..and then u sneaky crabby crawl, like this, until u clear the laser beams. and that is pretty much it, really. well, until u encounter the flaming stinking mushie pits of doom. but that will not be ready until tomorrow. well, i mean, if u let me and duk duk borrow the blowtorch today like we are hoping :) 

land shark :)

o little delicious buh-kneees, your chompy chomp prime express delivery package is here... :) 

express lane

the little dachshund chortled with glee. o why did i not think of this before, he wondered as he put one ferocious paw in front of the other. finally, a walkies express lane made especially for ferocious wolves like me! :)

laptime with dad :)

hee hee, whoopsie...um, mom, i guess since u r at the front end, i can tell u that u might want 2 hold your breath. but dad, well, i think he is pretty much a goner. :)

cleanliness is next 2 nopiesness

um, nopies, mom. baths are for babies. and maybe wolves who do not lick themselves as much as i do. :) 

bait

...and if u like that carrot, mister bunny, we have plenty more inside for u to eat. and u can bring your other  delicious i mean ferocious bunny friends, too. :) 

first harvest :)

well, this is really cool and all, mom, but maybe next year can we please grow some rainbow gummy sugar snaps too? :)

mission impoopable

..no, go left. now right. up. up. left two steps..now spin until u feel dizzy and stop... okay, now going in a counterclockwise pattern, crouch down and pick up the third stone u feel that is shaped like a chicken egg, spit on it and then throw it...now skippy walk seven, no eight steps ahead....okay, poop a snickers and two level three swirly cinnabons, pick them up to sculpt a- what? mom, u have to take this seriously.  it’s not my fault i cannot go purchase them myself because u have not made me my mask yet and ipso facto it is definitely not my fault that me and duk duk’s gummy worm supply is so low that we now have to crack into our super secret, super secure zombie proof zombie apocalypse stash... and, it is totally, definitely, not my fault that u and dad have not been working on your poop shapes as diligently as me and duk duk have because as u now can see being able to poop complex shapes is very useful even in non-zombie apocalyptic times.  so, can u please work with me here? :) 

technically really :)

hee hee, ooo i smell bunnies! i am sure mom will not mind if i- 

o, smello, mom. u r looking lovely, even despite the heat and all the yard work and all. 

o what was that? what am i doing? o nothing really. i mean, i am totally staying inside and taking it easy, just like i promised. see? all my toesies inside just right here at the doorway. 

hee hee, and even now, technically really. but, um, while u r here, can u take me out back so i can hunt ra- i mean poopies? 

blankie turtlepotamus

well, i am pretty sure a blankie turtlepotamus eats carrots and bananas and gummy worms, so, maybe we could start with that? i mean as a snackie, because blankie turtlepotami eat, o, five meals a day.  plus he gets snackies for his best friend, blankie falconoceros. :) 

jjust another wolf mother’s day sunday

see? i toldjoo, mom. faster than a rolling poopie snake. and at least eleventy times more ferocious. hee hee, now can me and duk give u what we made u for mother’s day bc u probably want to open it outside so the flies can enjoy it too :) 

world record

pee-eew! these purple flowers are so stinky! okay, thank u for doing this, mom, r u ready? on three....one..

two....

threeeEEEEeeeee!



(ooof) 

hee hee hee, didjoo get it? that must have been at least eleventy feet!! can i see the picture?duk duk is going 2 b so jelly.  :)

bruthy bruth :)

hee hee, hi hthed, huh bruthy huh thay, heepth huh hoothy hman huhway. :)

head start

as he headed out for his evening poopies, the little dachshund found himself thinking about how pretty much boring his day had been.  maybe, when i find the right spot, he thought to himself,  i could poop a foot long. or maybe even a swirly ocho. or if i really really tried, maybe even a pretzel! i could even make it a salted pretzel, for extra challenge points. 

but even the challenge of pooping a level eight poop shape did little to assuage the general air of stay at home malaise that fogged his little world. until that is, the little dachshund spied the biggest backyard surprise he had never expected to spy.  his wolfy instincts started to tingle with instinctual glee.  

   

“mister rabbit, we have not met before, so i feel it is important for you to understand that i possess a very particular set of skills. and because i am so ferocious, and mostly because i am also currently tethered to my very slow running mother, i will give u the opportunity to take a three second head start in the direction of your choosing. but after time is up, know that i will find u, i will chase u, and i will chomp u.” 

strawberry picnic for one :)

the little dachshund traveled carefully up the ramp, headed for his bed in the front of his home while keeping his eyes focused on the precious giant strawberry he balanced upon his nose. hee hee, he thought to himself, there are many things in this world that a wolf must quickly chomp, chomp chomp, no matter where he is, but strawberries? a wolfust nibble giant strawberries like this slowly, while baking in the warmth of the afternoon sun! 

almost there

but... if the glass man puts glass walls around everything, then how will a wolf esca- i mean how will a wolf get out when the purple flower stink bottle comes out and water comes on? 

while u were gardening :)

um...well, mom, r u sure u want to come back inside right this moment? because, well, not that me and duk duk were up to anything,  of course, but things might smell better if u maybe come back in just a little while.  like, u know, o, eight...or nine minhours or so? 

silent running

the little wolf loved his mother dearly, but there were times when he wished she could run just a little faster. :)

dump trucking

rawwr! rawwrrrr!

rawwwwwr! rawwwwwr!

rawwwwwwwr! rawwwwwwr!

see, mom? that’s pretty much how a ferocious brontosaurus goes for a walkie. only, well maybe when he poops, his snakeys are like a zillion times bigger, so we probably would have to follow him with a dump truck  :)