yesterday’s beans

the little dachshund started his morning like he did every morning lately, ready to check another item off his list of impossibly possible things that a wolf and falcon shouldn’t be able to do, but totally can. 

 hee hee, see, mom? i toldjoo eating all those beans yesterday night would be worth it today. now watch how high i can go! :)

almost back in the saddle again:)

well, maybe if we help u reorganize the makey room, then finally u could start working on more things to doot like our new mecharama ideas?  bc me and duk duk have a zillion of them. :)

tea for three :)

um, sorry, missladymom, there are no ferocious wolves or falcons here, and definitely not ones that would have probably accidentally spilled koolioade all over the kitchen floor without cleaning it up. nopies, not at all. but while u r here, wouldjoo like 2 stay for tea and teeny tiny sandwiches and smelly jelly - i mean normal jelly rainbow jelly  jellyfours? :) 

bed head

hee hee, ooo, long enough for a long ferocious wolf body..plushy soft inside for dreamy dreaming... raised cushy edge for easy neck resting... 

yeppies, mom, i think the new bed u got me for the sewing room is perfect. but, do u think maybe u can go back 2 the store and find a smaller one in mallard green for duk duk bc now that we are so ferocious and all, it is difficult for us to share the same bed without, u know, chomp chomp gory chomp chomp ouchie chomp chomp chomp. :)

i can totally help :)

mom, if u r having any trouble with it, you should know that i can totally help u eat that corn on the cob :)

happy farters’ day

hee hee, and dad, when we get back from our walkie, well, being as how we will be celebrating outdoors everything, well, let’s just say u really need to open your present because, not to spoil it or anything, but we got u a mega brick of cheese and now u know why me and duk duk were making so much monkey chow chili! and we can eat gummy worms and watch bugs bunny cartoons and everything! farters’ i mean fathers’ day only comes once a year u know :) 

step down on it :)

what the heck? o snap...

mom, please do not be alarmed, but due to circumstances no longer under my control,  i fear u may soon be needing the services of a chiropractor.  and, just for the record, u may as well put him on retainer, what with as many cracks we have in our driveway. a wolf can only be so careful when he is chasing bunnies, u know. 

surrounded

mom, what with the plumbers here replacing our polybutylene pipes, am i correct in stinking that the retaining gates surrounding us now are a meant to protect them from me, and not vice versa ? :) 

um, this close :)

hey! stand still, u wascally wabbit! 

me and my ferocious fangs would like 2 say smello! 

obstacle course

..and then u sneaky crabby crawl, like this, until u clear the laser beams. and that is pretty much it, really. well, until u encounter the flaming stinking mushie pits of doom. but that will not be ready until tomorrow. well, i mean, if u let me and duk duk borrow the blowtorch today like we are hoping :) 

land shark :)

o little delicious buh-kneees, your chompy chomp prime express delivery package is here... :) 

express lane

the little dachshund chortled with glee. o why did i not think of this before, he wondered as he put one ferocious paw in front of the other. finally, a walkies express lane made especially for ferocious wolves like me! :)

laptime with dad :)

hee hee, whoopsie...um, mom, i guess since u r at the front end, i can tell u that u might want 2 hold your breath. but dad, well, i think he is pretty much a goner. :)

cleanliness is next 2 nopiesness

um, nopies, mom. baths are for babies. and maybe wolves who do not lick themselves as much as i do. :) 

bait

...and if u like that carrot, mister bunny, we have plenty more inside for u to eat. and u can bring your other  delicious i mean ferocious bunny friends, too. :) 

first harvest :)

well, this is really cool and all, mom, but maybe next year can we please grow some rainbow gummy sugar snaps too? :)

mission impoopable

..no, go left. now right. up. up. left two steps..now spin until u feel dizzy and stop... okay, now going in a counterclockwise pattern, crouch down and pick up the third stone u feel that is shaped like a chicken egg, spit on it and then throw it...now skippy walk seven, no eight steps ahead....okay, poop a snickers and two level three swirly cinnabons, pick them up to sculpt a- what? mom, u have to take this seriously.  it’s not my fault i cannot go purchase them myself because u have not made me my mask yet and ipso facto it is definitely not my fault that me and duk duk’s gummy worm supply is so low that we now have to crack into our super secret, super secure zombie proof zombie apocalypse stash... and, it is totally, definitely, not my fault that u and dad have not been working on your poop shapes as diligently as me and duk duk have because as u now can see being able to poop complex shapes is very useful even in non-zombie apocalyptic times.  so, can u please work with me here? :) 

technically really :)

hee hee, ooo i smell bunnies! i am sure mom will not mind if i- 

o, smello, mom. u r looking lovely, even despite the heat and all the yard work and all. 

o what was that? what am i doing? o nothing really. i mean, i am totally staying inside and taking it easy, just like i promised. see? all my toesies inside just right here at the doorway. 

hee hee, and even now, technically really. but, um, while u r here, can u take me out back so i can hunt ra- i mean poopies? 

blankie turtlepotamus

well, i am pretty sure a blankie turtlepotamus eats carrots and bananas and gummy worms, so, maybe we could start with that? i mean as a snackie, because blankie turtlepotami eat, o, five meals a day.  plus he gets snackies for his best friend, blankie falconoceros. :) 

jjust another wolf mother’s day sunday

see? i toldjoo, mom. faster than a rolling poopie snake. and at least eleventy times more ferocious. hee hee, now can me and duk give u what we made u for mother’s day bc u probably want to open it outside so the flies can enjoy it too :)