a tomato in the tummy is worth more than two bunnies in the bush

the little dachshund planned his day like he always did in summer, giving himself plenty of time to nap and play, and making sure as he always did to beg and plead after dinner to go outside in the stifling heat, to sniff for bunnies and chase them out of his yard.

most days, his pleas would go unanswered. but today, he realized as his mother opened the back door, was his lucky day.

 “yessiree! it sure is hot out here but i’ll show everyone!  no more chomped on flowers,  no more half eaten hostas, no more bunnies in our yard!” proclaimed the little dachshund as he skipped on to the deck, waiting for his mother to open the gate. “i will chomp and i will chomp and i will-“  noticing the absence of his mother, the little dachshund turned around. “mom? arentchoo coming to open the gate so i can chomp chomp chomp the big bad bunnies in our yard?”

as he looked back at the door, the little dachshund spied something delicious that was not there before. “hmmmmmmm. u know, mom, i think u r right about it being too hot for a ferocious wolf to be chomping outside.  may i please come back inside now?” :)

stained

why smell, mom. what’s that? o nothing. just enjoying the sun, really. o, u r going to the grocery store? hmmmm. nopies, me and duk duk cannot think of anything we need at the moment. okay, mom.  c u later bye bye. o and do not forget 2 wear your mask! 

boy, that was close...what? well i had to make it believable. oo hang on, duk duk, i think it finally moved!.... wait...rats. nopies, just shadow shift i guess.........what was that, duk duk?  another pizza??

first off, mom said she was going to wally world, and we both know that their pizza is basically pizza shaped cardboard stuffed inside a bigger box of cardboard. 

and second, if we asked her to get us another one,  then u know i know that we both know that she would probably figure out what happened. except maybe for the part about how it got up there. although, she could probably figure out that part too. 

version 2.0

oo oo - they’re done?  i wanna see, i wanna see!

ooooOOOOooooOooo! 

see, mom, i know it was a lot more makey work, but seeing the two side by side? well, i toldjoo...

even handmade purpley blue flowers stink better in 3d. :) 

equals

the little dachshund stared quietly outside at the chameleon, happy 2 finally have spied someone as masterful at the art of camouflage as he was. :)  

u say nopies i say yeppies

eeeew, nopies too boring ! 

eww, double nopies, this one looks too much like cassie’s butt!  

mom, r u sure we cannot get kitchen tile with something more ferocious on it? u know, like with..say, o...flames, or sharks, or chomping turtles on it? :)

first harvest

ooooOooooOooooOooo! (sniff sniff) (sniff sniff)... (sniff sniff)...

hmmmm...okay, i don’t get it... 

mom, why are cats afraid of these things again? 

yesterday’s beans

the little dachshund started his morning like he did every morning lately, ready to check another item off his list of impossibly possible things that a wolf and falcon shouldn’t be able to do, but totally can. 

 hee hee, see, mom? i toldjoo eating all those beans yesterday night would be worth it today. now watch how high i can go! :)

almost back in the saddle again:)

well, maybe if we help u reorganize the makey room, then finally u could start working on more things to doot like our new mecharama ideas?  bc me and duk duk have a zillion of them. :)

tea for three :)

um, sorry, missladymom, there are no ferocious wolves or falcons here, and definitely not ones that would have probably accidentally spilled koolioade all over the kitchen floor without cleaning it up. nopies, not at all. but while u r here, wouldjoo like 2 stay for tea and teeny tiny sandwiches and smelly jelly - i mean normal jelly rainbow jelly  jellyfours? :) 

bed head

hee hee, ooo, long enough for a long ferocious wolf body..plushy soft inside for dreamy dreaming... raised cushy edge for easy neck resting... 

yeppies, mom, i think the new bed u got me for the sewing room is perfect. but, do u think maybe u can go back 2 the store and find a smaller one in mallard green for duk duk bc now that we are so ferocious and all, it is difficult for us to share the same bed without, u know, chomp chomp gory chomp chomp ouchie chomp chomp chomp. :)

i can totally help :)

mom, if u r having any trouble with it, you should know that i can totally help u eat that corn on the cob :)

happy farters’ day

hee hee, and dad, when we get back from our walkie, well, being as how we will be celebrating outdoors everything, well, let’s just say u really need to open your present because, not to spoil it or anything, but we got u a mega brick of cheese and now u know why me and duk duk were making so much monkey chow chili! and we can eat gummy worms and watch bugs bunny cartoons and everything! farters’ i mean fathers’ day only comes once a year u know :) 

step down on it :)

what the heck? o snap...

mom, please do not be alarmed, but due to circumstances no longer under my control,  i fear u may soon be needing the services of a chiropractor.  and, just for the record, u may as well put him on retainer, what with as many cracks we have in our driveway. a wolf can only be so careful when he is chasing bunnies, u know. 

surrounded

mom, what with the plumbers here replacing our polybutylene pipes, am i correct in stinking that the retaining gates surrounding us now are a meant to protect them from me, and not vice versa ? :) 

um, this close :)

hey! stand still, u wascally wabbit! 

me and my ferocious fangs would like 2 say smello! 

obstacle course

..and then u sneaky crabby crawl, like this, until u clear the laser beams. and that is pretty much it, really. well, until u encounter the flaming stinking mushie pits of doom. but that will not be ready until tomorrow. well, i mean, if u let me and duk duk borrow the blowtorch today like we are hoping :) 

land shark :)

o little delicious buh-kneees, your chompy chomp prime express delivery package is here... :) 

express lane

the little dachshund chortled with glee. o why did i not think of this before, he wondered as he put one ferocious paw in front of the other. finally, a walkies express lane made especially for ferocious wolves like me! :)

laptime with dad :)

hee hee, whoopsie...um, mom, i guess since u r at the front end, i can tell u that u might want 2 hold your breath. but dad, well, i think he is pretty much a goner. :)

cleanliness is next 2 nopiesness

um, nopies, mom. baths are for babies. and maybe wolves who do not lick themselves as much as i do. :)