Wednesday, July 23, 2014

lesson of the day :)

The naughty puppy ignored his mother's call and dallied outside,
 barking at noises and sniffing at bugs,
 until finally the naughty puppy decided himself
 that he was ready
 to go back inside. 

"oh snap," the puppy cried while he stood at the door,

spying into the house, a tiny red tomato too delicious for words.

It was a treat for the little puppy, if only he had not wanted to play some more.

"surely there is a lesson, a lesson to be learned, 
something i should remember, in my memory to be burned ."

The puppy stood staring, his mind all a whirl,
until finally it hit him, like three kinds of butters...

"next time, silly puppy, bring glass cutters!"


Monday, July 21, 2014

while we are waiting for frenchy fries :)




okay dad, guess it. 

hee hee nope. a drooly stinky snorey basset sleeping on his back! your turn! :) :)

Friday, July 18, 2014

woke up this morning

Our free 30 day trial of Amazon Prime ends very soon, which I suppose bodes well for all of us couch potatoes, save for one little dachshund who perhaps has become a little too enamored of a certain family drama that he won't be able to finish.

but mom, it's like this.  u pay the annual fee, and me and duk duk will make sure it is worth your while, capoops?  no poop strings attached or nuttin.  how can it get better than that? now do we got a deal or what? :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

the poopzillapranos

okay, in u go, tiny godzilla, my friend!!

hee hee, now remember, the deal is, when duk duk comes home from swimmies camp today and tries steal my gummy worms like he has been doing EV-ery day this summer, u jump out and scare the living badookies out of him. like, full on busted. take a picture and everything. and skype me when the deed is done using the ipoop mini i gave u.  which u can use by the way while u r waiting cuz it'll be a few hours. but keep the volume down will ya because duk duk's got spidey senses like a hawk, you got it?

now, any questions before we close the drawer?

no way, really?? bad enough to make your paint peel off? surely u must be exagg-

(sniff sniff sniff)

ka-zowee!! i wonder why..oh that's right, this used to be the curing drawer for me and duk duk's pooperoni stand.  which would have been a total success if the stink didn't get so bad that mom found out and made us take it all outside. and then of course it just had to rain and all our work went straight down the - 


okay okay, simmer down. u can have an extra kibble for the smell but u better get the job done and done right, capoops?

oh hello mom... how long have u been, oh u know, standing there?? :)

Monday, July 14, 2014

i can do anything :)

The unbridled optimism that every doxie seems to possess is one of the many traits that I find endearing.  Although their extruded little bodies and shortened stubby legs often leave them challenged under circumstances which would otherwise be easy for dogs of normal stature, our tiny wolves persist, resourcefully finding ways to get the job done as only a dachshund can.  Particularly, I suppose, when it comes to matters of filling their happy little rumbly tummies.

hee hee, mom, no need to check on me.  i was just going to, well, i was just going to u know..okay, well, mom, did u forget to give me this snackie because i smelled it all the way over from there and i saw that u were busy and i thought, well, rather than bothering u...well, i just thought i could, u know, parkour over and help myself.  :)

Friday, July 11, 2014


dear diary,
legend has it that i and others of my sausagey kind are of german descent,  but personally, i think i am at least part rhodesian. and direwolf. definitely ferocious land protecting direwolf.

b :)

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

nubbly nub nub

well dad, while I have got u here, and,  since I have been a good boy and all with my nails n everything, well, man to wolf, do u think me and duk duk could try learn 2 grill a steak with u this weekend? it is item number threeventy twelve on our list of #madskills we want to learn this summer. :)

Monday, July 7, 2014

booster seat please :) :)

I know there is an air of spoiled dachshund whenever people see the little kielbasa settled into his own blankie covered chair whenever we take him to lunch with us, but there is indeed a very practical side to this arrangement of cuteness.  Perched high enough for waiters and waitresses to coo at him, when he is in his own chair, he is also too high up to be hoovering up Cheerios and floor crumbs and ketchup spills, and he is too high up to be bothered by other dogs and their curious noses.  Which isn't to say he might still feel tempted to bark at them, but at least he is within easy reach to distract and refocus, so that the zen of lunch for everyone can be quickly restored.

There is hardly a downside at all for our little lunchtime chair arrangement, save for the times when it seems that our chairs are a little too short or the tables too tall, and some puppy is left adorably staring into granite. 

um, mom, can u please let me know when the waitress lady brings me my donut? :)  

Friday, July 4, 2014

happy dependence day now now now now...take us take us take us to the candy store right nowwwww!


pleeeeeeeaaase? :)

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

two dollars and five cents :)

well, mom, if u let us borrow all of it,  with July fourth coming up and all,  well, me and duk duk thought we might could buy the super mega blast blammo rainbow firecracker dragon explosion expansion pack with bonus bottle rocket defender p-52 flash candles that we saw in the big white tent in the parking lot at Wally World. oh, and we could buy a box of sparklers, and a box of snap n pops, and maybe some silly streamers and skippy jacks too :)

Sunday, June 29, 2014

seventh day


on the seventh day
 it rained 
 from heaven.

Friday, June 27, 2014

dapper doxie duds: the lion poops tonight

 do not worry mom, me and duk duk have got this so please, feel free to go outside and help henry gumption with all the yard work that still needs to be done. and, i bet u we will be done sooner than u can say peter pooper pooped a pile of poopy poopers! 

okay i love u too, bye mom. 

hee hee, my puppy friend frankie junior sure is tiny. i hope i can get this thing to stay on for more than just a few...


hwuuuuuuuuuuup! okay duk duk - hurry and take the picture before it..



..pops open. hee hee, oh well, i guess i am too big to fit frankie's super cool dud. now we will have to go to plan b.

(shuffle shuffle, shuffle shuffle, fweep foo fwobble!)

beedy beedy beedy. i. am. frankie.  junior... puppy. robot. lion... take. me. to. your. pooper... beedy beedy beedy...duk. duk. i. think. we. are. done. here...beedy beedy about. we. play. another. game. now...beedy beedy beedy.


hee hee, last one to the creek is a rotten poopie snake! :) 

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

me, as tall as a labrador

wow duk duk, u r so right. I could totally see the bunnies better if I were as tall as a Labrador pooptriever! :)

Monday, June 23, 2014

my snackie shelf :)

how long do I plan on sitting here by the window watching out for kitties in our backyard? oh, I dunno. more than a little while I guess. why do u ask, mom? :)