Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to u today on some very special additions and surprises coming tonight at nine o'clock PM EST to my mom's Kalyxcraftopia Etsy shop. Now, everybuddy knows the first rule of makey design and product development is to start with what u know and love, and figure out how u can add your own unique voice to it. Like, u know, how a dog bowl is a dog bowl but some just seem way awesomer than others because they speak to u in some way?
So, when mom asked me and duk duk earlier this year if we could help her develop a new product for our shop, we started with this simple rule. And, well, you know how me and duk duk know poop and snackies, and we know how everybuddy seems to like collecting poop and eating snackies? We decided to design this for mom to make - (dunt da dahhhhh!) - say hello to our super cool, super new, super funny and super cute Tiny Pooper poop bag dispenser and secret snackie holders!!
Me and duk duk will be busy working on the etsy listings all day today not only for our first litter of Tiny Poopers, but also - for our friends who like to carry more than just poopie bags and snackies on their walkie, like, say maybe also an iphoney and keys and stuff, - we sized up our design and developed our new Walking Weenie Wiener Walker compact crossbody purse, which we will also debut tonight at nine o'clock PM EST. So I hope u will watch for the #pootiedoot and be there because we have been busy coming up with awesome slogans and everything.
This is Baxter your roving reporter wishing you the Poopiedootiest of Mondays! :)
Tiny chumley's eye seems to be healing up pretty nicely, despite the night he decided to do a little head rub on the floor that seemed to loosen his already dissolving stitches. Soon, I think, we can stop treating him like a precious little egg, but I am pretty sure he's thought all along that the only egg that should be in the room is the one that he should be eating. :)
ummm, well mom, just getting ready to play pirates and poopers with duk duk and chocobot. and, well, i lost the coin toss and we could not find my eye patch so, u know, we borrowed a napkin. :)
whoa, duk duk, do i look fuzzy 2 u? because i sure feel fuzzy. but at least that is all over, and the tushie man's lady was supercool enough to send us some pictures of my procedures. speaking of which...
i am thinking maybe we find out where the tushie man got his gas mask and his gas from bc let me tell u, that stuff really knocks u out like u would not believe. better than monkey chow chili foofies and kitty poop tarts combined. but unfortunately it does not smell nearly as bad so u know, it would not be nearly as fun.
what's that? yeah, i do not know, duk duk. i would tell u more about what happened, but really, i have no idea. except, sheesh, i woke up and there no flaming bunny tattoo...
but the tushie man did give me some super cool dissolving stitches from the cyst he removed.
and mom does not think so, but i am pretty sure i might be getting a gold pirate tooth from where tushie man took out my loose one. and if not, well, at least if i try hard enough, i bet i can probably whistle all on my own now. i might not like him poking around my u know what, but duk duk, i have to say, i do like my tushie man and the tushie man's lady a LOT.
boy, the tushie man was right, this sleepy stuff does wear off pretty fast. quick duk duk, help me practice my pitiful groggy face before i forget how to make it...
hee hee, this face already got me a big bowl of chunky chick-- um, chunky water, and i bet if we play our cards right, it can get us at least eleventy five bags of gummy worms too!! :) :)
well, duk duk, I am sure glad that got cleared up. I guess I was really hungry when the tushie man said it, because I sure thought he said ice cream cone and of course how could u say no to that no matter if u r getting an eye thingy removed or not?... hey, can u scratch my nose for me?
wow, I see this might be a problem for both of us. good thing this is only our test run so that way we can work out the kinks. how bout maybe we take off the yellow part?
yep U just have 2 look for the snaps cuz remember that time when mom first made it for me and we wore it for easter? that was the year u got us banned from..okay okay, i will get off our bed but I call dibs on my same spot so no stealing it when we are all done or I will pound u...hee hee, yeah I guess u r right I guess I should save the pounding for after my stitches dissolve. okay, is that the last one?
hmm, full range of head motion but I cannot reach my eyes with my paws. a fit that is not too loose or too snug. yes this is much better than that blue thingy we got when I got frankentushied. now if I can only resist rubbing my head on the floor we will be set!
although if I do, maybe mom would make me a new one with propeller shaped blades instead of marigold petals. :)
Tiny chumley didn't know my grandfather until he was already very old. By the time they first met, my grandfather was 97, and Baxter a playful 3.
Had my grandfather been younger, I am certain he would have delighted in taking Baxter for walkies and in throwing the ball for him in his backyard. Spending time doing things with him, much has he did with my brother and I when we were little. And my grandfather would have probably been a bit more strict in applying the same rules of doggie ownership that he applied to his own beloved dog so many years ago. But both made merry do with their circumstances, and who was I to deny them the happiness derived from the flood of beef jerky snackies that overtly, and often covertly, flowed between two mutually consenting parties?
Three more snackie filled, happy little kielbasa visits and five years would pass before my grandfather
would die peacefully at his home on what was this past Good Friday. I have struggled in finding the words to share this news and adequately remark on his life. I thought about it as I made our preparations to attend his funeral, with every black skirt I tried on, and with every stitch I made into the black top that I knew, had he still been alive, would have garnered the kind of compliment that only those in my mother's family could make. I thought about it as I packed our things for the long journey to his home, where my brother and I spent the careless summers of our youth, and thought about it at every rest area we stopped, and with every hour that passed driving on the interstates that ultimately led us to the bittersweet intersection of the past, present, and future.
I had hoped that the passage time would eventually give me the voice I needed to eloquently say what I thought I wanted to say, before my timing got despicably tardy as is often the case with the thank you notes I am always very late in sending. But truth be told, only snippets have come to me, and they often leave my mind as quickly as they appear, lest tears break through the walls of my usually impenetrable fortress of optimism and happiness.
It pains me to know that many of my grandfather's century of personal memories and moments are now lost in time, and I am comforted in knowing that we can still remember him though shared memories, and the traits we acquired and the lessons we learned from him. Some day, I hope the words will come. But today, I find solace in knowing that joy can be had at any age, and that my grandfather will be always wonderfully remembered by a happy little four legged boy, and his very very happy little tummy.
hee hee yeah I think it will work, too, duk duk. thanks for taking a hit for the team. we are going 2 have so much fun today. oo, wait, I think I hear her coming! go tell everybuddy operation sick day has commenced!
um, hi mom. I do not feel very good today. my throat is all scratchy and my mouth feels all foamy, and, well, for all I know I could have rabies or something and I certainly would not want 2 infect anybuddy else at school. so I guess this means me, and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy should all stay home, dontchoo think?....(blink blink)....
did I forget to mention how foamy my mouth feels? :)
if anybuddy knows how to get melted gummy worms and glitter out of the inside of your mom's purse which u may or may not have been using without her permission, please do not delay and dial 1-800-555-POOP . operators are urgently standing by. :)