scenes from a restaurant: an only child orders his lunch

..and so that's why u should never trust a monkey who doesn't wear pants.  ooh, is it my turn to order? um, okay,  missus waiteress,  may i have the chicken tenders with no sauce please and a side of frenchy fries with ranchy sauce? oh and a super frooty strawberry smoothie with a swirly straw and diet whippy cream and a cherry on top! oh, and if u do not have ranchy sauce, may i please just have a side of cheezy stix instead  of the frenchy fries, but with marinara sauce? but if u do not have marinara sauce then okay maybe scratch the cheezy stix and make it a double order of chicken tenders no sauce but still only one super frooty strawberry smoothie with swirly straw and diet whippy cream and a cherry on top, because i am a diet.  okay? thank you i am done.

mom, i hope the lady waiter understood my order bcuz if she did she deserves a very big tip. even the lunch ladies at school do not understand dogspeak very well and sometimes when i ask for pupperoni pizza they give me pieces of pepperoni which would b okay butchoo know how i am still on a diet and pepperoni gives me gas and well,  u already signed that note from teacher.

hey, u think they have booster seats here because i can hardly get my head on the table much less - ooh - i see our lunch coming! o i cannot wait to taste everything i ordered!

 


wait?  what is this? water? water??

(grumbledy grum)

 
hey missus waiteress, here's a tip for you - i think u need to brush up on your dogspeak okay? i said chicken tenders no sauce with a side of hushpuppies with a side of rancy sauce and strawberry frooty smoothie with a swirly straw and diet whippy cream with a cherry on top, not plain ol water in plastic bowl!  

(sigh) okay mom i will apologize. but if i am only going to have water and a kibble lunch after, may i please have a taste of your lunch then?? please??

mmmm, let's do this again next week, okay mom n dad?  :)