to club or not to club

The quandaries we encounter in our lives and how we resolve them are often tests of our character it seems, and though little dogs encounter seemingly little quandaries, they are nevertheless, equally important.

mom, what do u do when u see someone super squeaky sitting right in front of u that u just can tell is practically begging join toyfriend club,  but then u also see that he is shaped just like u and looks like u and that, well, u know, epsecially if he is one of u, u do not do that sort of thing?