tales from the smelly side

“and finally, on hallow’s eve night, the little pumpkin man’s ferocious face magically appeared, his eyes glistening with gore and his mouth ready to fill his empty tummy.

 ‘feed me candy! feed me candy!’ he raspily croaked with his new found voice.

‘i said, feed me candy! feed me candy!!!”

‘hello? anyone? hangry pumpkin head here. feed me candy!!

seriously, i’ve been standing here for days without a face. now i finally get a mouth and where is everybuddy?” 

hee hee, um, mom, can we please skip this and tell another halloween story? u know, one with like, real blood and guts and stuff? here, i will start it for u...

the vampire tushie man took blood from the ferocious wolf not one but two times, practically guaranteeing that halloween’s eve would be the last night the ferocious wolf would ever be himself again.

well, the wolf thought, on the plus side, he always wondered how he could be any more ferocious than he already was, and now he knew. he would not need a halloween costume this year, or any year from now on. soon, very soon, he would become a full fledged vampire wolf, an immortal defender of darkness and denizen of all that is dank and dreary. 

but o snap, he realized after the vampire tushie man left. forever is a very long time. he walked  over to his mother. 

mom, after i chomp duk duk and dad, would u mind showing me your ankle so that i may for no particular reason chomp u twice ? :)