riding in cars with adorable dinosaurs

all i am saying, mom, is that i am older now and way more ferociouser...

i mean, i get that this is a perfectly good shirt that i wore when i was little, but maybe, well, at least can u add some flames or fangs or something ? :) 

not on a school day

take them off? seriously? but, mom, the only difference in wearing our stinko de mayo outfits to school is the fact that everybuddy will know beforehand to hold their breath. the stink happens every day, really :)

inpoopnito

hee hee, i know my annual checkup is still several months away yet, mom, but wait’ll the tushie man sees me this year - he will hardly even recognize me :)

eleventy parts ferocious

hee hee, thanks, mom for making my birthday crown again this year.

it is exactly what me and duk duk wanted, really, what with it being one part supercool, one part where the wild stinks are, and like, eleventy parts ferocious. and it is the kind of crown a wolf could wear every day really. the only thing is, and i cannot believe i am saying this, the only thing is, well, at eleventy parts ferocious, i kind of.. i kind of wish there was a ferociousness dial because even at twelve i am not sure i can always -

uh oh, mom- u better - i cannot hold- run before..o no its com-

raWwwwwwRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! :)

today i am twelve :)

sigh, i know!  it feels like we have totally been waiting for forever plus infinity already.  u would think by now that mom would know not to keep such ferocious beasts waiting. i mean, it is not every day a wolf turns twelve. and after all, if she does not feed us soon, why, she should know by now that it is much easier to feed the wild things than let them fend for themselves. i mean, there will be blood and guts ev-- o wait i think i hear her coming!!

hee hee hee...oooOOOOooOOOooOOooooOOOoooo! something tells me being twelve is going to be my best ferocious year ever! :)

happy cootieween

hmm. oo yeah, it looks really good, but i think it goes on the other side.

yeppies, like that! boy, considering we to make our halloween costumes ourselves this year and considering we only had an like an hour to make them all, i think we did pretty good this year, dontchoo, duk duk? i mean, i know we spent most of the time on my costume but u have to admit, it is pretty genius really. like, it is pretty much the scariest thing ever, really, right?

okay, now help me with my chin strap...eeeks! not too tight, a wolf’s gotta eat some gummy worms on the road, u know. okay yeah, that’s better.

yeah, i know they are kind of puffy even for her. maybe we can make flaps for when we do our calendar pictures. but for tonight these will totally work bc the puffy balls just add to the goofy, right? and really, i am already feeling like its eleventy hundred degrees out. but when all the folks get a load of me they’ll be like, omg just take all of my candy already! it will be totally worth it!

okay everybuddy, before we get this show on the road, just remember, it is still me under here. now lemme get into character....(hwuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!)

PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT!! PANT PANT PANT PANT!! :)

hee hee, (PANT PANT) happy (PANT PANT PANT) halloween my (PANT PANT) friends!! :)

the dachshund and the poodle

“ein dackel und ein pudel scharren beide im müll herum. da findet der dackel ein kästchen, und der pudel findet ein schlüsselchen...”

“der dackel sagt zum pudel: ‘laß sehen, ob dein schlüstelchen zu meinem kästchen paßt!’ “

hey quit shoving, duk duk. it’s not my fault this story is about a dachshund and a poodle. i’m just reading it like they wrote it. now stop interrupting. our end of summer school prep already taking forever without u making it last infinity forever. okay, now where were we?

“da gibt der pudel dem dackel das schlüsselchen, und der dackel steckt das schlüsselchen ins kästchen. das schlüsselchen paß und das kästchen geht auf. ratet, was ist darin?”

hee hee, o a mystery!! yeah duk duk, i think so, too. i mean seriously, they do not find kackiewurst in there, then what’s the point of even finishing this book? i mean, other than the fact that we have to. plus i mean look, two wolves, a squirrel, the only thing that’s gonna keep the peace is finding something in common that they can bond over. okay, let’s see what the answer is...

“ ein bißchen luft und ein bißchen duft das war natürlich gleich verpufft.”

what?? seriously?? that has nothing to do with the squirrel in the picture and why does squirrel even have the key and the box now? sheesh! okay, okay, i will ask her...

mom, i know we have to start reading again so we can be ready for school but do u have any books that are maybe ferociouser?

rent a ring wolf :)

well, i am pretty sure it would be a viable summer job, mom. i mean, u saw harry and meghan’s wedding. it was really lovely but well, every wedding needs a little ferocious walking down the aisle, right? plus me and duk duk and chocobot can totally dj the reception after and we can even help with keeping things tidy by eating anything that falls to the floor. o and besides, i am eleven now so i can be the something old, and obviously since i already have a family i would be borrowed...

and looky, if i wear this, i can be the something blue, too!

happy valentine’s day :)

well, mom, i mean, we were just wondering..

i mean since u did such a nice job with mine and all...and, well, on account of u not letting us stay home on seriously like the most contagious and cootieriffic of all days...

well, before we goto school today we were wondering if u could make duk duk some cootie protection too. :)

i think, i thank, i thunk :)

hee hee hee. oh yeah, this is totally going to work.

what??? snufflupagus? okay fine, duk duk. roll it up so my nose shows but that’s it. besides, if ima gonna wear it all day at school i guess it would be good to have a second blow hole. well, i mean a second smell hole. wait, i guess i still need to clarify. a blow hole slash smell hole for breathing in. which technically makes this new hole the one (and only) blow slash smell hole for that particular purpose. because the other blow slash smell hole that we already accommodated is really more of an blow out-

(sniff sniff) mom?

um, o nothing really. just getting ready for school. and well, u know how my ears get really cold ? and, well, the rest of me really? and u know how i cannot wear my puffy coat during class anymore for, well, reasons? well, tadaah - solution. say hello to the shai hulud 3000. now with two blow holes.

wait, what, mom?

hmmm...

hmmmmmm..

hmmmmmmmmm..

nopies, mom. i do not think that wearing this will affect my ability to learn any less than i already do in school :)

the makey list

wait, what do u mean u cannot make inflatable poopie snakes, mom? we agreed before that me and duk duk are in charge of the makey ideas and this is our list. if it's on the list, it's on the list.

and inflatable poopie snakes are definitely on the list. :)

the dark wolf raises (a stink)

hee hee, like a hawk in search of prey, the dark wolf surveys his land while he waits for his handlers to finish readying themselves for a nice winter walkie...

how many people would he frighten on his walkie? , the dark wolf wondered. and not by any particular effort on his part, but just by merely being the ferocious something that they were seeing.


as he watched the girl handler approach him and open the door, his hackles bristled under the puffy cape santa had given him, in subtle acknowledgement thst his second handler was talking at him from be-

what? ugh. dad!! a dark elf?? sheesh, i toldjoo already the dark wolf is not, i repeat not any kind of elf. the dark wolf is the primary protector/collector of poops of all shapes and sizes and he fights inpoopstice against the downtrodden. not an elf. repeat, not an elf. nope. nopies. nope. just because his head gets cold and this was the only hat he could fi- nope. nopies. daaaad.

mom, can u please tell dad if he cannot kindly refrain from bothering the dark wolf during our walkies then he will be asked to remain at home for said duration of our walkie?

rawwwrry christmas my friends! :)

dear diary,
today i am busy spending time with my family but i thought i would share a peek at some of the things we got for christmas and a picture that is pretty representative of what our christmas morning was like. because, well, u know, ima wolf. anyhow i hope u have a merry rest of today :) :)

baxter and duk duk's infinite christmas playlist

okay, that one..o, maybe a million times. no wait, a million and one times.

hee hee, what's that, duk duk? oh yes, by apples in stereo. i will look that one up next.

oh no, not again! seriously why bother even making an app for something that may as well be easier and more reliable if u trained a monkey to do it using punch cards and an abacus.

now we have 2 start all over again.

boy, i sure hope santa appreciates how busy we been spending all this time trying to stay good. how many days is it til christmas again??

spa day

hee hee, do not tell mom but u know, i think she was right.  these slippers are so cozy and perfect for lounging around after a long day's pedaling to and from school.  and putting mom's face cream on my paws beforehand? pure genius! already i can tell my pads will be smoother than a baby's blankie. what's that? oh yeah, we totally need amend our christmas list and ask santa for two jars of that gooey stuff. one for us and one 2 re-replace the nilly frosting we substituted in mom's jar so she would worry about what hap-

oh, why, hello mom. u look lovely and hydrated today. wait, what was that? oh.  nopies we have not been in your bathroom at all today. in fact, we have just been sitting here being good for goodness sake really. why do u ask? :)

today i am eleven :)

hee hee hee, ooOOOooooOooo! i smell blueberries and i smell strawberries and i smell carrots and i smell chicken and i smell duc- i mean, i smell watermelon..mom may i please open my eyes now?

oooOOOOOoooOOOOoooooOOOoo! it is even taller and deliciouser looking then i ever imagined! :)