and seriously, we have only just met

...uh huh. uh huh. oh, i see. so u mean like a jelly donut that's oozing jelly, right? only instead of oozing all over the table, the jelly is kind of oozing on my spinal cord and that can press on my nerves and that is what is causing my pain probably. and there is no peanut butter involved at all, right?..no peanut butter...but a lot of pain...okay. yes, i see, special mister doctor tushie man.  thank u for drawing it for me that was very helpful...






 

 



and...u r sure my diagnosis has nothing 2 do with my not wanting to take a snackie from u, right?  because honestly it smelled delicious but when i was little, my mom taught me not to take snackies from strangers and seriously, we have only just met...

...and, that whole thing where i was too distracted to listen to mom when u wanted to see how far i would move my head so u asked for my leash and i turned on my super duper deluxe  nobuddys-taking-me- anywhere electromagnets? u did not take that personally, right? like, that has nothing to do with what u r saying either, right special mister doctor tushie man? 

..mm-hmm. okay i see...










 

 

 

 

and...so, we will schedule my preanesthesia x-ray and blood work in a few weeks to make sure i can have the MRI so we can see what's what and really decide from there what to do. and in the meanwhile,  i can probably still go to school when it starts, and i can go for simple walkies around the block and stuff like that.  just no running, or jumping, or toyfriend club, or any general displays of ferocious wolfiness of any sort...

 

 well...yeah.... i guess that all sounds doable...

 

 except..maybe, well...

 if i catch duk duk stealing my gummy worms again, am i at least allowed to pound him a little bit?

 

a mighty storm

tiny chumley's paw sticks out on occasion, something that would be kind of cute were it not for the fact that it is a probable indicator of nerve root pain and symptomatic of something likely far more serious.  

we've been able to manage his condition medically, but with recent and more frequent bouts being triggered by increasingly innocuous activity, we seem to be headed slowly but surely into the murky waters that many cervically disc challenged dachshunds have sailed in before. the most immediate next step, considering further diagnostics and plotting our course from there, all while a certain little wolf shows his displeasure with the prospect of seeing so many tushie men and women, and the return of the dreaded golden gates of jail.   

mom, like it is not even bad enough that school will be starting this month and I know we still have many things to be thankful for, but jail time too? If it helps me stay out, I promise I will try not to be as ferocious a wolf as I usually am and I will show u during my laser treatment today so u can see for yourself :)

laser light saber therapy: return of the stink eye

dear diary, 

my laser light saber training has gone very well and quite frankly i am not certain why it took luke skywalker like forever plus the loss of his hand before he became a Jedi. I just finished my third laser treatment this past Sunday and already I feel the force coursing through my body in such an abundance that I can hardly contain myself. which maybe explains why mom opened the window, come to think of it. and why it is still open. becaus, well sometimes when u r supercharged with the force, the force just squeaks out of u even when u r sleeping, if u know what I mean.  

anyhoo, after my Jedi session, it was time to go back to jail and so me and duk duk spent the afternoon playing with graphics on one of the pictures mom took so we could send it to Doctor miss Erin after we finished. today I thought I would show u a progression of the design work we did and if u squint at the tiny pictures u can see how we added and tweaked certain very simple elements to create an asymmetric image that still feels very balanced, fresh, and appropriate for the subject matter at hand. u know, in a red lines are lasers kapow pow ping ping pew pew sort of way. well within reason bc when we added even more lines it just started 2 look like string art so we scaled it back a little. . 

okay so right now my tummy says I have to work on my mind manipulation skills so for now I bid u a fond..

toodleydoo!

b :)

ps - in case u did not know what I mean, laser therapy does not give u gas. but the incredibly tiny and delicious salmon flavored snackie bits your mom gives u to stay still while u r getting Jedi laser light saber therapy in your yellow duckie bun crate bed just might :)

light saber therapy

dear diary,
even though things have been pretty boring in jail, things sometimes can get interesting.  like when I heard mom and dad signed me up for laser therapy.  at first i thought it would be all light sabers and jedi fighting, but nopies.  and then i thought it would be like, all laser guns and han solo running and stuff, but nopies.  mostly, i just have to sit still while doctor miss Erin waves her magic red eyeball wand all over my spine.  well, i think it is red but i cannot tell u for sure since i am not supposed to really look at it which is why i am wearing doggles.  all in all, it is not nearly as scary as i thought it would be, which is why me and duk duk decided to add our own super cool sound effects to the video we made of me getting my second treatment.    i hope u like it.

toodleydoo!
b. )

ob-la-di, ob-la-da

Despite his time in jail, life goes on for a little kielbasa and his toyfriend, especially with help from the springtime scents wafting in from an open window :)

hee hee, duk duk did u smell that? i think the stinky bassets ate turkey and cheese yesterday. no wait (sniff sniff). hee hee sorry, the turkey was me.  (pffewweeooooop! sniff sniff) hee hee, yep, definitely me. :)

everything is orange

hee hee, whoa, duk duk, r u sure we are not on a merry go round because everything looks so orange and swirly now. :) #byebyegabapentin #hellovalium #jaildaynumero5 #donotworryitisreallynotsoorangeorswirly 

jail break

Yesterday a certain little wolf received a scolding. If I could turn back time, I would know now to react differently, but when I heard his little whimper yelps from a room away, my heart sank. The little kielbasa had been doing fine all morning.  Now off the Gabapentin he was prescribed for pain at the emergency hospital, he was happier,  skippier,  and his tail much more waggy.  And he was surprisingly content to lie in the cradle of his little red bun crate, sunning by an open window in an xpen contained space that allowed me to work nearby, yet also sit with him on occasion to enjoy each other's company.  Orders were filled, emails answered. Noon arrived quickly.

"Stay here, my little friend," I told him as I caressed the warm soft fur of his sun warmed face. "It's time for lunchy lunch. I will be right back with both our lunches and they will be very delicious and we can eat them together right here!   Do not go anywhere.  Stay right here and I will be back very shortly." A kiss on his forehead sealed our deal, and I climbed out of tiny chumley's little jail.  

I had been gone for two and a half  minutes when I heard his painful squeaks over the hum of our microwave. Feelings of dread and worry and wonder fueled my fears as I made my way back to the living room.   Did he turn too fast in bed? Did something fall? How bad will it - 

The distance I had expected to dash was halved when I found the little kielbasa on the opposite side of his golden prison, shaken and still on the rebound from his painful event,  with sad little droopy ears and a furrowed forehead and tail now no longer happy as it had been only moments ago. My little wolf had found a weakness in his makeshift prison cell, and successfully shimmied his way to freedom by way of a low lying pathway under my cutting table.  

 

The giant gasp I let out foreshadowed for tiny chumley an imminent shower of disapproval.  "Naughty!" I scolded him, "So naughty!" tiny chumley's body shrank under the weight of the words that flowed, his brown eyes seemingly getting moister and sorrier, and little head melting into floor with each word I uttered.   After my brief scolding, I swiftly but carefully returned him to the safety of his improved gilded cage. 

Thankfully, tiny chumley seems physically and emotionally no worse for wear.  But I remain scarred by the experience, feeling careless and stupid for not having checked for the weakness in his cell, feeling frustrated for being able to comfort tiny chumley in familiar ways, and most of all, feeling awful for having scolded a sweet little wolf who was only trying to make way to his mom. 

Scars of this nature are an unusual thing. They can forever burden us and lock us in a world of insecurity and isolation. Or we can become stronger for having earned them, and use them as lessons to guide us into becoming better, more compassionate souls.  I have learned a lot from having a sweet little wolf in the house.  And I promise I will learn some more. :)

the balloon in the room

Here's a not so well kept secret. I don't like balloons.  It doesn't matter if they are made from rubber or mylar, long or short, tied up into some supercool shape, or so round and over inflated that they are as transparent as my displeasure with them.  No matter how vibrantly colored or happy the message printed on them, balloons for me are the bringer of cartoon scribble cloud storms on an otherwise happy go lucky day. 

It's the anticipation and the unpleasantries of the pop that make me cringe enough to say or do something outside my normal laissez faire existence.   I am that person who is lucky enough to be married to that big boyfriend who will fetch earplugs from the car so we can eat in peace amidst the minefield mix of  Red Robin burgers, balloons, careless children, and hot overhead lights.  I am that person who made Little Madwilly and her brother Takato leave their free helium filled balloon scores behind at the grocery store, lest they become the featured story on the six o'clock news, abandoned as they would have been right there in the parking lot.  When balloons are in the room, I like to do something about it.  I must do something about it.

When tiny chumley first exhibited signs of IVDD, I approached his condition pretty much the same as I do with balloons in the room, only perhaps with an understandably larger dose of worry and urgency. No, I did not put him in the trunk like I did with my nephew's clown-tied balloon sword, nor would I ever even consider threatening him with abandonment in a parking lot.  But much like the problem of having a balloon in the room, I wanted the problem resolved. I wanted him better, fixed forever.   But alas it's not like that for little wolves born with unusually long spines and gnarled short legs. Despite the measures we take to minimize risk, flare ups can and will occasionally happen.

Careful everyday handling, conservative medical management, and quiet time to heal have thus far kept Baxter's balloon from popping, but when the yelps came back on Sunday with mild symptoms slightly different than those we usually see with neck flare ups, it was time to push the reset button and understand if a new balloon had entered the room.

Long story short, there isn't an clear answer yet, which in many ways is a better sign than if it were. After a visit to the emergency vet on Sunday where tiny chumley sat quietly for hours in his little red bun crate and never once yelped under examination, and a barkier visit today with Baxter's regular mobile vet, still with no yelping but with noted concern at how his hind legs were positioning themselves when he walked and turned, we are waiting to see what more there is to see.  Unless things take a severe turn, surgery is not imminent or overtly indicated. A day must pass to let the woozy side effects of gabapentin run through his system.  Another video must be made of him doing the hind leg knuckle test, and walking, turning to the left and right to see what his little hiney legs are up to. And then we go from there.

Aside from their actual passing, I can think of nothing more troubling to little wolf ownership than when our little ones are medically compromised.   But it's a balloon in the room that I will gladly endure, time and time again.

PAC-P.U. :)

 



whoa, duk duk, do i look fuzzy 2 u? because i sure feel fuzzy. but at least that is all over, and the tushie man's lady was supercool enough to send us some pictures of my procedures. speaking of which...

 i am thinking maybe we find out where the tushie man got his gas mask and his gas from bc let me tell u, that stuff really knocks u out like u would not believe.  better than monkey chow chili foofies and kitty poop tarts combined.  but unfortunately it does not smell nearly as bad so u know, it would not be nearly as fun.

 








what's that? yeah, i do not know, duk duk. i would tell u more about what happened, but really, i have no idea. except, sheesh, i woke up and there no flaming bunny tattoo...

but the tushie man did give me some super cool dissolving stitches from the cyst he removed.

and mom does not think so, but  i am pretty sure i might be getting a gold pirate tooth from where tushie man took out my loose one. and if not, well, at least if i try hard enough, i bet i can probably whistle all on my own now. i might not like him poking around my u know what, but duk duk, i have to say, i do like my tushie man and the tushie man's lady a LOT.

boy, the tushie man was right, this sleepy stuff does wear off pretty fast. quick duk duk, help me practice my pitiful groggy face before i forget how to make it...  










hee hee, this face already got me a big bowl of chunky chick-- um, chunky water,  and i bet if we play our cards right, it can get us at least eleventy five bags of gummy worms too!! :) :)

little coneflower

well, duk duk, I am sure glad that got cleared up. I guess I was really hungry when the tushie man said it, because I sure thought he said ice cream cone and of course how could u say no to that no matter if u r getting an eye thingy removed or not?...  hey, can u scratch my nose for me?

wow, I see this might be a problem for both of us. good thing this is only our test run so that way we can work out the kinks. how bout maybe we take off the yellow part?

yep U just have 2 look for the snaps cuz remember that time when mom first made it for me and we wore it for easter? that was the year u got us banned from..okay okay, i will get off our bed but I call dibs on my same spot so no stealing it when we are all done or I will pound u...hee hee, yeah I guess u r right I guess I should save the pounding for after my stitches dissolve. okay, is that the last one? 

hmm, full range of head motion but I cannot reach my eyes with my paws. a fit that is not too loose or too snug. yes this is much better than that blue thingy we got when I got frankentushied. now if I can only resist rubbing my head on the floor we will be set!

although if I do, maybe mom would make me a new one with propeller shaped blades instead of marigold petals. :) 

word of the day: dermatographism

Something tells me I am going to miss the days of being bullet proof.  Of feeling young and invincible in the ways that only being young and naive allows one to think.  I know I will miss it as I do now, for my itching does tell me so. 


For a few days now I've been itchy, and I've been staying up late at night,  furiously googling for leads as to what it might be, all the while the itch seemed to spread on a daily basis, one small discouraging place on my skin after another.  Taking me on an emotional rollercoaster of hope and despair.  Oh it's better now, oh it's worse, oh it's better now, oh its..lemme google again and see what I find.

By the time tiny chumley made it into my top three list of possible culprits , I knew it was time to stop speculating and start getting to the bottom of what I can only describe as a periodic but very annoying problem. And lucky for me my dermatologist had an opening yesterday.

The good news,  it ain't tiny chumley, it ain't contagious, nor was it any of the frightful stuff I found online. After scratching an x on me and watching it turn red and I guess a bit raised, she thinks it's dermatographism, today's word of the day.  Although I don't get nearly the level of raised effect as you will see when you google images for it, thankfully.  Phew, at least it's not something creepy and at least tiny chumley doesn't have to suffer thru dips and pills and the like.  But the frustrating news is, that doesn't really help identify the source causing my body's overreaction.

If I were a good girl who always followed doctor's orders, I'd be starting myself back up on zyrtec at night and taking an allegra in the morning for two weeks, then maybe remove the allegra but keeping doing the zyrtec for another two weeks, and voila, hopefully be fixed. Or then I just keep doing it for longer.  But one of my top suspects as to the cause of  my problem has been a phenomenon that has been reported only anectdotally on the web, and that's an itchy withdrawal response to the long term use of cetirizine.  Cuz thanks to the crazy weather,  I've been on it for three months now, a month longer than I'v ever taken it.  And I don't want to be a zyrtec junkie.  I don't want to be a pill junkie of any kind if I can help it.    So, I'm thinking of toughing it out for another week, or at least another few days to see if things get better on their own.  I am sure it will be a test of my willpower but I figure it's worth finding out. 

Oh, so I'm TMI sharing this because I am also thinking about whether or not tiny chumley and I will  be able to post daily during all this.  So don't be alarmed if there isn't a post tomorrow or if posting is not quite on the regular schedule that it has been in the past.  In the grand scheme of things, know that we are fine, and hope to get back to regular programming as soon as possible.  Have a wonderful weekend my friends!  :)

hello wednesday

why hello wednesday! i hope you like my freshly nubbed, nubby nubby cute cute nails!  :)

brush brush brushy brush!

hello friends! it's me, baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you about interesting christmas list ideas for your letter santa.  today i want to talk to you about my favorite tasty night time treat, poultry flavored toothpaste, which also happens to be very good for you so chances are if u ask for it from santa, you will get it. unlike the master blaster poopie disaster series 5000 biomechanical megatronic hazmat superstink ray gun and amazing limited edition pleatherette  holster accessory kit with invisibility shielding and stink spray, both of which your mom won't even let you put on your list for santa this year even though u and your duk friend want it really badly and it is on sale now from stinks r us  with free shipping and everything.

anyhoo, so like i was saying, poultry toothpaste!  not only is poultry flavored toothpaste tasty,  but it is very very easy to use.  in fact, here, let me show you...just get your mom or dad to squirt some on your toothbrush (mind u - your toothbrush and not your mom's, bcuz u know, my mom says u can lick your butt, and you can lick your toyfriend's butt, but apparently after doing all that, u must not lick your mom's toothbrush). anyhoo, squirt some on your toothbrush and then...

yep, brush brush brushy brush, and that's it - you're all done! i like my toothpaste so much that when i was little and i was training in AKC good citizen class with my mom, well, they tell u to bring like a super motivating treat for your mom to hold at the other end of the room when learning the "come" command and i had no problem at all coming over to that super tasty reward!  and i got like megateethbrushing with the stuff after sampling a VERY tasty treasure from my kittyfriends' treasure box so it was super double bonus that day. 

anyhoo, i hope you enjoyed my teethbrushing lesson and hope you will consider asking for this very wonderful item in your stocking too. i am baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you a very happy sunday. :)

nightmare on poop street

A certain little goblin didn't particularly appreciate his pre-Halloween surprise annual checkup visit from the tushie man, even though he complimented on his weight, teeth, and nails.  

mom, i know the tushie man and his assistant are very nice n all, but, considering how scary my tail still thinks they are, do u think we can invite them to me and duk duk's halloween party so they can scare everybuddy else too? bcuz right now i can think of nothing scarier...

tartar barter

okay mom, u can check my teeth for tartar but today can we please go to the swimming store so me and duk duk can get our matching swim caps and nose clips?  we only have a week to train before the synchronized swimming event starts and i really want to medal in duets. :)

weigh in

mom, i really do not like how that big dog looked at me when we came in here.  didjoo see how he looked at me? and are you sure this weigh in is really necessary? cuz even though my tummy has been very unhappy about it, i have been really good about doing this diet thing for almost a month now. and i have been doing my sit ups every day and skipping the monkey chow milkshakes when me n dad watch cartoons on saturday mornings and u know i have been chasing bunnies, like, every day.  even dad says i look thinner now.  and my orange dud is all flappy on me.  why, i betchoo that i'll be needing 25% more food after we see how much i...

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i still need to lose 3 pounds?  three whole pounds? that's like, the same amount i needed to lose a month ago, only now i am hungrier...so much hungrier....

mom, i know i have lost the same amount of weight before and i know it will take more time than just a month to lose it, but do you think we can call doctor tushie man and make sure he meant an ideal weight of 17 to 18 pounds on planet earth and not on the planets venus or uranus??? cuz my tummy says he would me more than happy for all of us to relocate to either planet if that would help us achieve our goals faster. :) :)

no thank u

no thank u doctor tushie man.  there is no need to put me on the table, really.  i am very comfortable right here and my neck feels just fine.  :) :)

- baxter, 5.4 years old, hoping to pass off a partial white fib in hopes of avoiding the veterinary inevitable.


Yep, it's true. Baxter's momentary moments of pain made a small comeback appearance - once on this past Weds which prompted his vet visit, and once we think on Sunday though neither big boyfriend or I saw what he was exactly doing to know for sure if what we heard was indeed a  quick pain yip.  And of course ever since then and between episodes the little chum's been acting quite normally.  We're monitoring the pain's frequency and duration to determine when best to pursue further diagnostic, but for now and under doc's orders, other than losing weight and playing nicely with his toyfriends, tiny chumley can continue living a low impact, pokey free lifestyle.  :)

the long and pokey road

Hee hee, yep, the doc called and gave us the all clear yesterday to release this little hound. We will take things slowly and of course be mindful of his jumping about, but here's hoping that baby dog's days of waking up with his mind on set on freedom are over for a very very very long time. :)

lessons from the pokey warden - lesson 1: never show the inmate your escape route..

A happy skippy little boy met me in the middle of the hallway upstairs, a sure sign that somepuppy has been keeping tabs on his mom and dad while he's been in the pokey.  Watching and learning with one eye open all while he was pretending to sleep under cover of warm blankies, woozy and sluggish from muscle relaxers and intellectual under stimulation.

"baby dog!", I did declare to the happy-to-be-free dogggie before me. "How did you get out?"

Baxter's tail wagged proudly as I kneeled down to scoop him up and put him back in the pokey that I had only moments earlier set up in his dad's office so I could get dressed and buy a few goodies to pimp out tiny chumley's zippy trailer.

Oh there it is, I realized when I put the little kielbasa back down and he started again in the direction of his path to the promised land where freedom reigns and walkies happen every day.  The ex-pen walls I had set up amidst all the boxes that were awaiting a trip to the thrift store had unintentionally created a mini funhouse maze, a perfect  lowrider pathway for little pent up doxies anxious to stretch their legs and roam free again.

This was, actually, mostly my fault. Baxter's new found maze management skills, that is. For days now we have been able to get by with sloppily placed walls and giant gaps and haven't had to worry at all about the little kielbasa actually busting out.  The trick, I knew, was in keeping things seemingly precarious enough so that Baxter wouldn't even try to nudge at things, as strong as his skitter instinct is.  But all the lifting in and out of the pokey has taken a bit of a toll on me ergonomically speaking, and so these past few days I've been moving parts of the gate like a fence so I could get in and out more easily, and sometimes yes, encouraging him to take a step or two down the maze-like path of freedom so that I could more easily pick him up and take him where he needed to go.  Little did I know how this would sharpen somepuppy's stealthy navigational skills.

So now the walls are much better secured for my little pokey break puppy.  No gaps, no connections to make hidden pathways to the promised land.  But the whole experience makes me wonder, what else has he learned while watching me through the golden wires of his pokey prison walls?

pssst - can u keep a secret?  don't tell mom but i know where she keeps the snackies by her desk and i know where mister tiger goes to sleep when we are not playing with him!!

where toyfriends dare

(whispering) pssst - hey, duk duk! i got the ipad u baked in the cake u gave me yesterday but i do not know how turn on the netflix. maybe we should get lil pink puppy to squeeze thru the pokey bars with chocobot bcuz lil pink puppy is the only one who knows how to work this thing and then by the time u climb over we can all start watching and hopefull finish before mom gets home.

  hurry up duk duk, wonderpets is starting and it is the one about the unicorn!!

um, pardon me, but besides not telling mom about this, u r welcome to join us but before you do, would you please close the curtains so we can see the screen a little better? thank u :) :)